Doin’ It With Dr. V: Scent Of A Woman

Kingm21
wrote on May 17 2009 @ 12:42 pm: [report]

This dude sounds like a real creep. Amen, Dr. V!

PinkRanger
wrote on May 17 2009 @ 12:51 pm: [report]

I’m sure his junk smells like roses and lavender.

Whats with these straight guys that seem to hate vagina?
if you want a bj, you better give some face.

theattack
wrote on May 17 2009 @ 01:06 pm: [report]

My boyfriend has bad anxiety, and he’s never gone down on a girl before (He was pretty innocent before I came along). We’ve been dating for over a year, and at the beginning of our relationship he said he wanted to. I kept the mouth-penis action to a minimum but still went down on him sometimes because I really like doing that, and I thought if he was going to do it, it would be an easy way for him to transition into doing it right after I did it for him. We’ve talked about it several times through our relationship, and when I finally confronted him about it big time, he wasn’t even planning on doing it anymore. I shower daily, I’m smooth, and there’s nothing nasty about my downstairs. It’s really unacceptable to me because it’s something I NEED to be satisfied, and it’s not like I’m asking him to do anything ridiculously kinky. That’s a very basic act. I don’t think he’s ever going to do it, and every time we have sexy time together and he doesn’t do it, I’m only disappointed. I can’t even enjoy sex that much after he grabs a condom because I know it’s not happening after that. I wouldn’t put up with this except I would feel shallow breaking up with someone over oral sex. Needless to say, he doesn’t get ANY mouth action anymore.
This is such a #&@$% situation. I just hope he hasn’t ruined this for me forever. I only get angry when I think about it now.

fallonthecity
wrote on May 17 2009 @ 02:01 pm: [report]

what a jerk!  I do not understand dudes that get grossed out by vaginas.  It’s not like man junk doesn’t get sweaty and aromatic sometimes after hanging out in a pair of shorts all day.

retro chic
wrote on May 17 2009 @ 02:15 pm: [report]

I remember a former friend/neighbor of mine told me point-blank—“If a guy doesn’t like the smell of “p*ssy,” then he’s: a) gay, or b) has hang-ups that you can’t do anything about anyway.” That’s info from an experienced dude. I believe him.
Also, I think just drinking plenty of water is good for things all around. Thanks for another good myth-buster post, Dr V!

Goldfinch86
wrote on May 17 2009 @ 04:08 pm: [report]

Always wash your privates before sex! With what Dr. V mentioned. They did this on Em and Lo’s website too. My gynocologist said that using Dove is good, it’s a really mild soap and doesn’t irritate. I do it before I have oral with my boyfriend, he hates the way I smell if I don’t wash, so I always clean before that. I ask him to do the same if he gets some mouth action too. If your man doesn’t like the way you smell he might have issues going down on anyone not just you. It took a while for my boyfriend to get in the mood for it but after a while he got into it and likes doing it.

luckgirl
wrote on May 17 2009 @ 06:59 pm: [report]

I have lollipop wipes for down there. My husband doesn’t mind going down on me and i don’t mind giving mouth action either, but i thought the lollipop wipes would be cool, they smell amazing, kind of sweet and fruity. they are well worth the investment

bislane
wrote on May 17 2009 @ 07:11 pm: [report]

luckgirl: those wipes sound nice! where would one find them?

Shasta
wrote on May 17 2009 @ 07:27 pm: [report]

@LuckyGirl.

Like the Lollipop idea but is a fruit-flavored downstairs too reminiscent of a 10-year-old?

Does boyfriend prefer the Jolly Rancher taste to Dove?

Lynn
wrote on May 18 2009 @ 09:06 am: [report]

Well, I do keep some always “feminine wipes” on hand - in my purse and in my bathroom. Because let’s face it - if you’ve been at work all day, especially if you’re running around in the summer, you’re just kind of sweaty and “ugh” down there.

But as long as you make sure you’re nice and clean, and that you don’t have an infection, any smell is going to be natural ladybits scent.

@theattack - I don’t think that’s a shallow reason at all. You said you get disappointed every time he reaches for a condom - so it sounds like every time you have sex, you’re disappointed. Personally, I couldn’t live with having a consistently disappointing sex life. So if the fact that he doesn’t go down on you does make you that sad, you’re not silly for wanting to be with someone who doesn’t make you sad in the sack!

retro chic
wrote on May 18 2009 @ 09:39 am: [report]

I would hope that it’s assumed there’s been some shower or bath time first—I think the problem is when women are still rejected for their natural scent even when clean. Also, are these finicky guys brushing their teeth or washing their own hands before touching you? Pot-and-Kettle projecting, I’d say.
@theattack, I agree with Lynn, that is no small matter, and may reflect other areas of selfish, stingy and neuro behavior. Going down s/b an act of love in a relationship, not a task (or torture). If you’re this understandably angry, there may be deeper probs, too, if he can’t see or care how it makes you feel.

theattack
wrote on May 18 2009 @ 09:55 am: [report]

@Lynn & retro chic:
Thanks, you really put that into perspective for me. And you’re totally right, it DOES reflect other selfish behavior. I’ve just been trying not to realize that I guess.

And that’s a good point about handwashing/teeth brushing. I wouldn’t expect someone to brush their teeth RIGHT before going down on me, because toothpaste doesn’t combine well with the taste of anything, and I’d rather he didn’t vomit down there, but hand washing is absolutely necessary. That’s even a health issue, not just courtesy.

H. Blue
wrote on May 18 2009 @ 11:04 am: [report]

I actually agree with Dr. V on this one.. if a dude’s not into your personal scent, he’s probably not as attracted to you as he should be.  I’ve dated guys who I couldn’t stand the natural smell of (we didn’t date long), but if I really hit it off with a guy, I almost liked the scent of his sweat.  When you’re really into someone, you don’t overanalyze stuff like that because you’re so eager to get to the fun parts and enjoy eachother- and if you’re giving it up to someone, he SHOULD be really into you too, and not telling you how to be “clean.”
And, to “theattack” I agree with the others- you can have a satisfying sex life with someone who’s more compatable.  I personally couldn’t be in a relationship unless that part of it was great.  And I certainly wouldn’t want to put myself in a position where I was always disappointed.  Relationships are about give and take, and if he’s refusing to do something for you that would make you feel good..  I have a few choice words for a guy like that.  lol

snap
wrote on May 18 2009 @ 01:42 pm: [report]

have these men ever taken a whiff of a sweaty penis and balls?!  eek!  that aside, i think men got the better end of the deal when it comes to going down:  the scent of vaginal fluids is actually quite pleasant, while the scent of semen makes me gag.

flooze
wrote on May 18 2009 @ 07:06 pm: [report]

oh these comments are great. I have to concur with the one poster’s friend’s opinion: i had and ex that was afraid of the sight of vaginas. Oral was rare and I had to bargain for it. I had a lot of lasting body issues because I was with him so long and felt ashamed.

Turns out, he’s gay.

My current dude can’t get enough of looking at it, being up in it, etc, etc etc, yada yada yada I dont have to spell it out you know what Im sayin.

Dump him.

Humble Bee
wrote on May 19 2009 @ 09:23 am: [report]

I hate how men are so ignorant when it comes to female parts, it definitely takes experience to feel comfortable and confident in eating someone out and actually pleasing them.

bethylane
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 12:06 pm: [report]

I used to be uncomfortable allowing a guy to Go There. Insecurities for several reasons: The Scent (all’s normal with mine as far as I know, it just made me uncomfortable anyway), and also The Fur. I keep it closely trimmed but I definitely do not shave the whole thing. I had one boyfriend tell me to stop shaving because “It’s like a nine-year-old.” and that freaked me out and I haven’t done it since.
Is it true that most guys prefer it? sigh.

One thing’s for certain: I get f**king SICK AND TIRED of the maintenance that comes with being a woman!!!!

Seriously, though.. if he’s straight and into you, he should be All Up In It. I don’t particularly salivate over the thought of sniffing male genetalia, or cupping a handful of fuzzy balls but come on.

I’m really into the guy I’m seeing now, and I love doing that for him! He loves to return the favor for me, and woohoo! I am no longer insecure! He has unlocked the orgasm vault!

...um…
...anyway…

I have completely trailed off. Now I’m just getting riled up thinking about it, and here I sit in my cubicle at work. Great. Thanks a lot, The Frisky.

robf
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 01:17 pm: [report]

I guess there’s two sides to every coin.  I, and most of my male friends, have never had an issue with giving oral.  Although it doesn’t surprise me that some guys aren’t in to it, I can’t understand why not.

kellieann
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 02:39 pm: [report]

Sometimes (especially if I’m wearing a thong) I put deodorant down there. It keeps me ultra fresh! Is that weird?

dudette
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 05:47 pm: [report]

where would you put the deodorant exactly?  That could be dangerous if the deodorant is intended for your underarms, unless its a specific product made for that purpose…

snap
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 05:50 pm: [report]

yeah, the deodorant thing is weird.  it sounds 1) disgusting, 2) like a yeast infection waiting to happen.  if i were a guy and got with you, the a mouthful of deodorant would totally skeeve me out.

retro chic
wrote on May 20 2009 @ 06:27 pm: [report]

Kellbell, another friend told me her BF referred to “sweaty crotch”—male or female—as “The Third Armpit.” Gross, but apt. Like dudette, et al, I wouldn’t use anything not made for that zone (I remember asking my Mom when I was still living at home which spray I should use to restore my daintiness—Lysol or Pinesol?!). Also, wearing cotton helps, even if that’s not a fave.

suzieislucky
wrote on May 21 2009 @ 09:36 am: [report]

I had to chime in on this. I have MAJOR issues about anyone going down on me. My very first time EVER was at the hands of my abusive ex…...who BIT ME. He was a #&@$%’ savage. I had to be hospitalized and have my lady bits sewn back together.

I had YEARS of issues with it. Didn’t want any of that action. Then I married my current husband. Who finally went down on me, while I was holding my breathe, ready to scream (and not in a good way).

And guess what? I had my first EVER orgasm.
I so like oral now….

I know this was a thread about scents. Since I have extremely limited experience with oral, I flat out asked my man if my smell was good and he said yes. He knows A LOT more about my body than I do, so I asked him how I compared and he gave me high marks. He says a guy can tell how close a women is to her period by the smell. That it starts to get more intense as the hormones build up.

Before bed, I always bathe. Always.

dk
wrote on May 21 2009 @ 10:45 am: [report]

I noticed a concerted lack of comments by men on this subject.  But, I’m amazed and interested in the comments by women re:  going down on them.  I, for one, absolutely love the scent of a woman.  In fact, after a sexual encounter (is that too “cold” a term for such a hot and enjoyable subject?), I regret when I have to finally wash my hands and can no longer recall the events by a quick sniff of the lingering scent. 

As far as the boyfriends / partners described as being reluctant, or downright unwilling, to go down on their lady, I can’t even imagine that.  I have several friends who also feel that way.  I find the close up view and aroma of the “ladybits” so very enticing! 

Just a quick aside here, I’m one of those men who appreciates the bush, but I certainly don’t consider it a dealbreaker, either way.  Probably I would prefer a trim as a halfway, rather than smooth as a baby’s bottom.  If a woman is interested in sharing the delites, then let’s not let superficial things get in the way.

I certainly don’t require that we shower first, but if either party] is bothered by a potential “off” scent (and yes ladies, men don’t come odorless either), then how about a sexy shower for two foreplay to “clean up” our act.  It seems to me that there should always be an answer to some way to get on with one of the most enjoyable pastimes between the sexes.

Men!  Get over your hangups and get down there and enjoy!

-dk

theattack
wrote on May 21 2009 @ 01:38 pm: [report]

suzie, I am SO sorry about your bad experience. That is so awful and makes me sick to think about. I’m so glad that you found someone who makes you comfortable enough to let him do that though.

Rickydotcom
wrote on May 21 2009 @ 04:06 pm: [report]

Dr. V.:

You state that “you’re not a doctor, but you play one on the Internet.”  Well, you’re not doing a good job because you “dropped the ball” on this one.

First, I am a pharmacist, and have been for over 30 years.

Admittedly, the odor detected by this woman’s partner very well may be her normal vaginal odor.  However, as you stated, vaginal odor may also be the sign of an underlying, undiagnosed disorder, such as a sexually-transmitted infection (STI is newer accepted term, replacing STD) or other vaginal infection.  Besides these more common ailments, there are a host of other conditions that can cause a vaginal odor, most are benign, but in rare cases it could be something more serious, such as cancer.  This woman should seek competent medical advice to rule out any serious condition or treat any minor one.

You can buy vaginal antifungal products without a prescription, but the FDA has approved them for women who have been previously diagnosed with vaginal yeast infections and are familiar with the signs and symptoms.  Additionally, if the infection is caused by some other organism, antifungal products will have no effect.  It is also possible that her partner may be infected, and he may need to be treated; otherwise, they may “ping-pong” the infection repeatedly until both are treated.

Bottom-line: she should call her family physician or her gynecologist and at minimum speak to the office staff.  Most likely she’ll need to be examined and possibly tested.  Left untreated, a vaginal infection could lead to more serious problems later on.

retro chic
wrote on May 21 2009 @ 04:50 pm: [report]

Rickydotcom:
As a pharmacist, I’m sure reading thoroughly is a big part of your job, but, you may have missed the links in the article above called:
“a couple other things” and “Cleveland Clinic” that direct readers to to the medical and provider info you attempted to share here.

snap
wrote on May 21 2009 @ 05:30 pm: [report]

what kind of retarded pharmacist is that?  the chance of it being the guy’s hang-up is much greater than the chance that the woman has a yeast infection!

develange
wrote on May 21 2009 @ 08:34 pm: [report]

Things do tend to get gross down there (“STI” and bacteria aside), between sweating, period, discharge, etc.
A sweaty, unwashed vagina smells just as bad as sweaty, unwashed peen and balls. If you and your partner are comfortable with each other, then you should be able to tell each other to freshen up.

If a guy is disgusted by your vagina’s natural, clean smell, he may not like vagina, period.

LostInStars
wrote on May 22 2009 @ 03:10 pm: [report]

My boyfriend and I fortunately haven’t run into this problem. We both realize that our junk isn’t supposed to smell like fresh baked cookies and roses. The smells and noises are just a part of doin’ it.

seygra20
wrote on June 18 2009 @ 07:17 am: [report]

come on you should know if ur ‘vayjayjay’ smells! have urself checked out by ur gyno if you get the all clear and ur bf was wrong loose that creep . lactobacillus is a mircle worker if ur got the yeasties

Edriisxe
wrote on June 22 2009 @ 07:57 pm: [report]

@luckygirl: Oh! Just read the above comments. I’m going to find me some lollipop and fruity smelling wipes! See how that goes.

Symian
wrote on July 3 2009 @ 02:27 pm: [report]

I’ve been with a guy who had to have a shower right before sex and right after sex, since I was young, it always made me feel like I must be dirty.  Even now, if there’s even a remote chance I’ll get some action, I must take a shower.  But now I’m more concerned about gerneral sweat as opposed to genital sweat.  My partner tells me he loves the way I smell and I must admit that the feeling is mutual.

I feel for anyone who has to deal with this type of painful and unnecessary situation.

alphabete
wrote on July 4 2009 @ 01:32 am: [report]

@symian Girl you are so crazy.

I once dated a guy who thought vagina smelled weird.  Fresh out of the shower “Eet smells like poosy ahnd soap.”  I should have got out when he started comparing it to the scent of a man…

RandomPerson
wrote on July 4 2009 @ 05:15 am: [report]

Even as a straight guy, I’ve only liked the smell/taste of one girl that I’ve been with.  And I’d be surprised if any one liked my smell/taste even though I do my best to keep things clean and tidy.  Usually, those areas don’t smell like roses.  Maybe I’ve just been unlucky.  But when my lady asks, I am there with a smile because it makes her happy and I care about her.  In other words, don’t assume that he’s not into her just because he doesn’t like how it smells; assume he’s not into her because he won’t do it despite the smell.