Doin’ It With Dr. V: The Morning-After Pill
Posted by: Dr. V
Filed in:
sex
2:30PM, Monday September 14th 2009
Over the weekend, I got an urgent letter from a lady who thinks she might be knocked-up. Here’s what she wrote:
“My boyfriend always pulls out when we’re having sex. He’s usually super reliable, but last night he slipped up and came inside me. I freaked at him, but then this morning I got my period, thank god. So I’m in the clear, right?”
Um, sorry hot stuff, the answer is no. You can get preggers even during your period. I know, it sucks, but that’s why I’m urgently answering your email. Lucky for you, there’s the morning-after pill (aka, Plan B). It’s an over-the-counter miracle! By preventing conception, it stops you from having to answer that existential question: Should I be a mom, right now?
For the record—though the Guttmacher Institute recently recommended that sex educators start teaching the withdrawal method as a form of birth control—it is not yet considered a form of protection. If you’re going to party with your pants off, you’ve got to party responsibly. Get on birth control or use condoms.
That said, the one time I had to rely on Plan B was because a condom broke. (I always use protection!) So, rather than spend the next couple months peeing on pregnancy tests, I decided to just take Plan B. Because it’s available over the counter (unless you’re under the age of 17), I didn’t need to call a doctor; I didn’t need to make an appointment; I didn’t need to stress myself out. No amount of showering, peeing, etcetera, can stop super-swimmer sperm. I simply walked into my local drugstore the next morning on my way to work and asked the pharmacist for whatever would make me safe … since our sex wound up not being so. I took the two-pill version, although they have a one-pill treatment as well. It cost 50 bucks, a small price to pay to keep my freedom. But at health centers, like Planned Parenthood, it is available for cheaper.
The key is speed. The sooner you take Plan B, the better. You’ve got 72 hours to pop the precautionary pill(s). Sure, there are some side effects, but none of them involve carrying something that weighs 7 lbs 8 ozs. Phew!
In my experience, the hormones in Plan B makes you PMS to the max for about five days. I felt it first in my abdomen. My indoor girl parts were like, “WTF did you do to me, lady?!” I was crampin’ up like a fat kid trying to run a marathon. Plus, I transformed into Optimus Bitch. I kept joking that I played the head-spinning puking chick in “The Exorcist” because at the drop of a hat I would snap. Charming, really.
Also, I was tired physically, just exhausted. Even though I still tried to get it on again with the man I nearly made that baby with, I just couldn’t go through with the sex. ME! For one, I didn’t want to move because I was tired and cranky. And it hurt, in the bad way, not in the way I usually enjoy sexy times. So I told him that while his penis was usually too hot to handle, now it was just impossible. He, of course, understood and we agreed that we would make babies in a condom at a later date.
On the upside, all those hormones also made me hungry for deliciousness. I ate nutritious choices like mac-and-cheese and chocolate-covered Rice Krispie treats, guilt-free. Mmm. And my next period was lighter. Bonus! While at the time I wanted to take a day off work, I wound up completing the week, four out of five days, without anyone noticing I was trying not to be with child. But you know, don’t push yourself. If you wanna go fetal, do it! You definitely have the right to be selfish when you’re all B-ed up.
What did I learn from all of this? A lot, actually. When the condom split, one thing went through my mind—OMG, STD risk. Thankfully, I already knew we both had gotten tested and we were cool. If I had to ask him the STD question in that moment, man, that would have been insult to injury. I’m glad I already knew what I was getting into. Never be shy about asking a partner, even if you use condoms—and by “if” I mean, USE THEM, always (unless you’re in a monogamous, committed relationship). They’re just not a foolproof plan, unfortch.
Another thing I learned—nice guys don’t get freaked-out. They support you. He didn’t run, yell, or tell me what to do. At the time, he was concerned for me. We talked it all out openly over the next few days. We were both sorry, because accidents happen. And I felt especially lucky that I was with someone I could trust. Heck, the dude even offered to pay for the pills when I told him that was my escape plan! He had my back through the whole process and called to check in on me a bunch. We still dated after the debacle. No harm, no foul. Now, if your man starts trippin’, kick him to the curb!
We kept on using condoms during sexytime fun, but we tried a different brand that fit him better. So gents, if it feels too tight or too loose, it is! You gotta get your prophylactic right before you get down. There’s no such thing as one size fits all.
And lastly, I’m going to go all sentimental on you: I’m grateful to live in a time when we ladies have choices, thanks to the brave women who came before us. While the morning-after pill prevents pregnancy, it’s actually a life saver. Sure, I want to have a baby someday, but I want to be ready for it. Right now, I’m just a broke-ass ho. To be a mama, I’ll need some money in the bank and a plan. In the meantime, if a mistake happens, I’m glad we all have a readily available back-up plan, Plan B.
Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor; I just play one on the internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily led me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked-out. And please, if you have a question, email me. You know I love to read your smut too!
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Coral
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 01:42 pm: [report]
Just a minute ago, it said this article was posted by Simcha. Does that mean that Simcha is ‘Dr. V’? Hmmm..
impoddity
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 02:05 pm: [report]
“It cost 50 bucks, a small price to pay to keep my freedom.”
Words to live by. My friend has this type of accident with her then booty call. The child is due at the end of the month. It’s sad, because she had so much potential. Not to say she still can’t achieve, but she now has two other people to consider when making her decisions. Sucks!!
bettyboo
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 02:27 pm: [report]
not knocking the better safe than sorry plan,peace of mind os definitely worth $50 (or £26 as it is over here, i’ve used it a couple of times myself) but if your period started the day after the odds of not being in the clear are minute.. Ovulation always occurs about 2 weeks before menstruation,so on a standard 28 day cycle this is about day 14 after your previous period started, which means you’re at risk only between days 10-18, if you have VERY short cycles it is therefore possible for an egg to appear before the end of your period, but to be theoretically at risk from this she would need to have cycles of 18 days or less (allowing for the 4 days sperm can live in the uterus, presuming that they can swim against the menstrual flow). The catch 22 of course is that stress can trigger or delay ovulation and can also affect when your period arrives so if you’re worried it’s better to take the pill and put your mind at rest :0/
theattack
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 02:27 pm: [report]
I’ve had to rely on this twice (both instances of condom mishaps). The time I took it at the very last minute, it didn’t work, and I had to face much more difficult decisions. When I took it as soon as I could get to the pharmacy, it worked. The timing is a big part of it.
One other thing to mention is that Plan B isn’t an abortion pill. It prevents the egg and sperm from hooking up, although it’s also suspected that if that does happen, Plan B might help keep it from sticking to the uterus to form. So potentially two prevention methods in one!
theattack
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 02:30 pm: [report]
@bettyboo: While you’re more likely to get pregnant when you’re ovulating, if you’re a fertile young lady, it’s likely to get pregnant any time of the month. While I’m still young, ovulation means nothing more to me than how much sexier I look.
In her case, sperm can live inside of you for up to three(?) days, so even if she got her period already, she still has a few days to worry about.
absoluttres11
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 02:32 pm: [report]
The way she phrased her question, I think she was asking something more along the lines of whether the fact that she got her period the next day meant she couldn’t be pregnant - which would sort of be a question of how long the process of conception or fertilization takes. If she did indeed become pregnant that night, is it possible that her period would still come the next day? Or has the body already figured it out and keeps the uterine lining?
I may be way off, but I think that’s also an important question. Still good to go to Plan B.
gloriafretz
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 02:40 pm: [report]
“crampin up like a fat kid trying to run a marathon”. Classic! I know exactly how that feels!
bettyboo
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 03:02 pm: [report]
theattack - I’m not saying it’s impossible, just highly unlikely if she has a fairly normal length cycle.. Sperm can live inside you for about 4 days and the egg only lives about that long so you only have a window of about 8 days when it’s possible for sperm and egg to meet.. most of the rest of the month (other than during your period) the sperm can’t even make it through the cervix as it’s plugged. It’s actually possible to spot when you’re becoming fertile because you can sometimes see this plug (looks like a creamy blob) when it falls out and you get changes in your natural vaginal juices (they become clear and stretchy and alot more plentiful) as you get closer to ovulation and start to produce the fluid the sperm can survive in. The cervix also rises up and gets softer as it opens up to let the sperm in (when it’s closed it’s lower and firmer), I also sometimes get a pain in my ovaries when I ovulate (tho this is too late to start being safe obviously as sperm could be waiting in the tubes already hence the need to spot the earlier signs) and of course you’re horny as hell. It’s entirely possible to avoid pregnancy just by observing these signs and having safe sex, abstaining, or as we do a mix of withdrawal, oral and anal when you know you might be fertile. i did this for 6 months before i got myself a persona (which tells you when you’re safe to have sex and when you’re at risk of pregnancy by measuring hormone levels) to take the work out of it.. :0) And before anyone suggests it, I’m young, i know everything is in full working order (actually had a scan earlier this year and saw the follicle in my ovary that was just about to release an egg, very exciting to a biologist like me.. :0)) and that i ovulate every month as the persona detects it and my other half has 4 kids so if it didn’t work i’d definitely be expecting by now.. ;0)
bettyboo
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 03:24 pm: [report]
Not trying to advocate anyone forgoing contraception btw.. I’m just allergic to condoms (and dislike them anyway) the pill and the POP pill makes me ill and I’m in a LTR with someone i intend to have kids with one day and I’m a biologist so I feel confident approaching this scientifically so this works for me.
loveitlala
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 05:23 pm: [report]
Wow, seriously people, we need to teach sex ed in school. The chance this girl could still get pregnant is extremely slim.
Love,
MD
GudrunBrangwen
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 05:50 pm: [report]
“For the record… [withdrawal] is not yet considered a form of protection.” It isn’t “considered” protection? By whom, the Pope of Medicine? As long as it prevents sperm from fertilizing an egg, it’s a real (although not perfect) method of birth control. It’s reasonably effective, but has a higher failure rate than more foolproof methods like the pill/IUD. In that regard, it’s not dissimilar to condoms, diaphragms, and the sponge. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_birth_control_methods).
“Get on birth control or use condoms.” There are over a dozen birth control options out there; why promote the idea that only two of them are acceptable? People have lots of valid reasons for disliking condoms and the pill. I wouldn’t recommend the withdrawal method to an inexperienced teenage couple, but this letter writer seems like a responsible lady who’s happy with what she’s been doing. Why demand that she switch?
Alexa
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 07:57 pm: [report]
“You’ve got 72 hours to pop the precautionary pill(s). “
Actually, they’re good as far out as 120 hours:
http://ec.princeton.edu/questions/ectime.html
joyy
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 08:40 pm: [report]
@GudrunBrangwen - birth control may be what a lot of us use to describe ‘the pill’ (even though there’s a HUGE variety of just pills even), but anything used to prevent pregnancy is ... uh ... birth control. “birth control or condoms” isn’t two options - it’s many.
@bettyboo - consider an IUD!
joyy
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 08:41 pm: [report]
@gundrunBrangwen - nevermind, seems I misinterpreted your post on my first read of it. my brain is on superfried mode (and not the fun way).
catscratchfever
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 11:26 pm: [report]
Re: the major cramping - motion sickness medicine (like Dramamine) helps a lot.
bettyboo
wrote on September 15 2009 @ 05:18 am: [report]
As far as I know the IUD isn’t recommended for women who haven’t had children yet and want to and the idea just icks me out for some reason, I just don’t like the idea of something being stuck in my uterus.. :o/ I’m very happy with the method i’ve ended up with, the persona makes it nice and simple, green light - good to go, red light - find a fun alternative.. :0) Just having done it the hard way (called the billings method if anyone is interested), and having also studied reproduction and the menstrual cycle as part of my degree I felt i had to point out how very unlikely it seemed to me that this woman had anything to worry about in the circumstances..
joyy
wrote on September 15 2009 @ 02:49 pm: [report]
@bettyboo - I’m childless and thrilled with my IUD, hence trying to dispell those myths! It’s totally not everyone’s cup of tea though, that is for sure.
helen86
wrote on September 16 2009 @ 07:05 am: [report]
Hello Dr. V,
I manage public relations for Plan B One-Step. I was pleased to see you call out emergency contraception in your recent post, “Doin’ It With Dr. V: The Morning-After Pill,” on the Frisky.com. You had a lot of accurate product information—for which I applaud you. However, I would like to clarify a few things: Plan B® One-Step is the ONLY branded emergency contraceptive marketed by Teva Women’s Health on the market. The original (two-tablet) Plan B product has been discontinued and is no longer available.
Feel free to visit the new brand website http://www.planbonestep.com to learn more about Plan B® One-Step. If you would like to speak with a medical doctor regarding the new and improved emergency contraception, I’d be happy to coordinate something for you.
Warm Regards,
Helen
Alexa
wrote on September 16 2009 @ 07:13 am: [report]
Helen, regarding the information from the Emergency Contraception site at Princeton, what is the current prescription protocol for use of One Step? Is it 72 hours or 120 hours? I know the PIs on most say 72 hours (that’s what the FDA has approved it for, IIRC), but recent research has shown it to be effective to a degree up to the 120 hours as outlined on their site.
What do you guys have to say about usage after the 72 hours, and does prescribing it past the 72 hours constitute “off label” use of the product?
helen86
wrote on September 16 2009 @ 08:03 am: [report]
Alexa,
The FDA has approved the product labeling for use after unprotected sex or first method failure within a 72 hour window. Plan B® One-Step is most effective when used within 24 hours and efficacy does decline after that. There are studies that prove efficacy after 72 hours which is considered “off labeling” use. We stand behind the FDA approved product label and cannot comment for “of label” use.
Helen
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on September 16 2009 @ 08:11 am: [report]
Sooner is better of course. Now shoo, or I’m gonna have to call in Watson, Mylan, or Barr.
impoddity
wrote on September 16 2009 @ 07:55 pm: [report]
I’m getting an IUD later this month and I’m thrilled. I’m 22 with no kids and don’t plan on having any until I have to remove my coppery friend from my uterus in 2019.