Doin’ It With Dr. V: Love Hurts & Sex Bruises
Posted by: Dr. V
Filed in:
sex
1:00PM, Sunday August 30th 2009
This week I got a letter from a lady who is learning that love may hurt, but sex can leave a bruise: “I met a guy who’s shaping up to be pretty awesome. Except, he squeezed my boobs so hard the other night that i woke up the next morning with black and blue bruises from where his fingers were. Needless to say, next time I see him, we’ll be having a little chit-chat. Or will we? Because when I look in the mirror instead of thinking, ‘Ew, those nasty marks are GROSS!’, my thought process is more along the lines of, ‘Hell yeah, I got some last night!’ I generally have the same reaction when I get hickeys, even if it’s a pain to cover them up and they look horrendous. Is it strange to take pleasure in getting sex scars?”
Yeah! You got some! [Insert victory dance here.] Meanwhile, I was just watching “Project Runway.”
Anyway, I once was in love with a biter. One night, he chomped down on my nips so hard I couldn’t wear a bra for two days. It hurt so good that I’m not even embarrassed to say I like the John Mellencamp song of the same name! No need to be disgusted by yourself. Maybe you’re just discovering that you’re into S&M like a lot of peeps, including yours truly. Psst, I’m an easy bruiser too.
Battle wounds are cool, and love marks are a source of pride—that is, unless they embarrass you at the office. Here’s how I cover ‘em up to save corporate face…
If it’s a black and blue bruise, you need a yellow stick concealer. If it’s a red hickey, you need a green stick. Dab that on your blemish and then add some concealer the same color as your skin tone on top. Set it with powder and you’re good to go. No one will ever have to know your dirty little secret.
Well, except for you know who. It sounds like you’ve been having fun letting him do his thing, so don’t throw Mr. Great In Bed off his game by whining about sex you’ve thoroughly enjoyed. Just keep encouraging him while you’re gettin’ a piece of the action. Or if you want to let him know he left fingerprints and you liked it, say something sexy about them. Maybe even text him a topless pic, that is, if you’re not a celeb, politician, or future Miss America. That would be quite a thank you! It sounds like what you’re doing is working. No need to fix or fixate on something that ain’t broke. If he does start to bite too hard in a way that’s unpleasant, instruct him on how much pressure you do enjoy. “Just a little lighter, baby” won’t kill the mood.
Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor; I just play one on the internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily led me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked-out. And please, if you have a question, email me. You know I love to read your smut too!
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
*sam*
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 01:05 pm: [report]
THANK YOU!!! I too bruise easily and am really into S&M and have been wondering how to cover my numerous ‘battle scars’!!! (seriously, sometimes I look like I’m a victim of domestic abuse I bruise so badly!!!) so the tips on the concealer sticks was PERFECT!!!
calenia
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 01:10 pm: [report]
I am having this dilema right now as I cover up bruises and hickies on my chest and realizing I can’t wear my 90% of summer wardrobe right now. I know I bruise easily and this happens everytime but it does feel great during the moment so I encourage it until the next morning when the pain and bruises show up at which time usually he is gone and doesn’t see the war wounds he inflicted. If the wrong person saw I am afraid they may think I am being abused.
Ginger
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 01:24 pm: [report]
@ Calenia I had that problem this summer with a bruise that covered narly half of my left breast.
I decided to just say ‘screw it’ and showed it off proudly. Except for when I saw my mother, of course.
If people think you’re being abused, just happily tell them that it’s just the opposite. Or you could be semi-tasteless like me and tell your friends that you ran into a door.
It’s odd, but I don’t bruise easily. But when I do bruise, it’s usually big and purple and takes a week and a half to go away. But I love looking at them so much. Especially since I don’t bruise easily, because it means that I *really* got laid the night before.
Taurwen
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 01:36 pm: [report]
Nobody noticed my sex bruises… I bruise super easily, but it takes like a week for them to show up, so regardless of any activities I may or may not have been taking part in my arms/legs/torse are always covered with bruises I simply don’t remember getting.
So a few more are never questioned by my friends.
Oliveira
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 02:46 pm: [report]
Hahhahaha! Oh dear this reminds me of the conversation we had at the office…
my boss: “Oh look! Oliveira has a bruise!”
me: “Can we please stop discussing my sex life?”
my boss: “But nobody mentioned your sex life! I thought that happened at the gym!”
me: *blushing*
colleague: “Yeah! We didn’t think he beats you or something you know!”
me: *blushing DESPERATELY*
_jsw_
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 03:38 pm: [report]
I’ve never been bruised during sex as far as I can remember (sadly enough). I don’t even think I’ve had any significant scratching. However, once a particularly amorous session left me with five deep fingernail punctures on each buttock and three popped stitched areas (I’d had some spots removed from my back and upper shoulders). I’d like to say that it hurt so good, but the truth is that I had no idea that anything had happened (lets just say I was really distracted) until afterwards, when I’d been laying on my back on the sheets for a bit and got up and noticed that I’d stuck a bit and left 13 blood spots.
I’ve learned a few things from this.
(1) It’s not fun going back to the plastic surgeon (or dermatologist) the day after you’ve had a procedure to tell them that every single spot they’d stitched needed to be re-stitched. But if that was the reason it happened, I’d do it again any time.
(2) It’s also not fun asking the surgeon if the ten deep cuts in your ass need stitches or butterfly sutures. Well, OK, it was a little fun, because it was obvious how I’d gotten them.
(3) Germane to the topic: it is impossible to conceal burst stitches and ass punctures (or at least the discomfort said punctures cause), but, if both occur at the same time, you can let people think your discomfort in sitting is due to the stitches, even if they’re a few feet from where you sit.
(4) While I learned that I don’t feel pain in the throes of passion, I can tell you that, although it was uncomfortable to sit for many days, every single time I sat down and felt the pain, I smiled. At least a little. And I had a hard time concealing that, too.
writergirl
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 04:28 pm: [report]
@JSW—LOL! Sounds like you guys were having a good time!
Last time I had bruises it was only on my hips, so no worries covering it up.
_jsw_
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 04:30 pm: [report]
@writergirl: Oh, yes indeed. I still have the scars (yes, there). That was… wow… 15 years ago. :o
brandyalexander
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 05:21 pm: [report]
Oh man… tmi? or jei? (Just Enough Information…)
Once a fwb and I were making out and did not even realize we had bitten each others lips so hard that we were both pouring blood down our chins. It was definitely hot in a vampiristic way…
bronzebuttercup
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 10:15 pm: [report]
I cherished the severe “rug burn” that covered both of my knees after a romp in the back of my FWB’s SUV. Trunk interior is not friendly to your skin upon repeat contact. I had to hide the obvious rug burn from my mother, as I was just home from college, for a week in the middle of the summer - extremely hard when the last thing you want to do is wear long pants. There was no way that they would pass for ‘I tripped on the sidewalk and scrapped my knees.” until they had fully scabbed over - a week and a half later.
I didn’t even noticed until I got home and went to climb into bed… I immediately took a picture and sent him a text: “I think I left the skin from my knees in the back of your Jeep, haha.”
They were my secret pride and joy and something to show off to my friends for the three weeks that they lasted. I still have dark skin where they were… and it’s been 2 months.
I always enjoy my ‘battle wounds.’
Coral
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 10:36 pm: [report]
Once when I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car, he was kissing me and lightly biting me, and all of a sudden, a police officer knocks on the window, and my boyfriend was so startled that he bit me really hard on my stomach—and it was quite painful. But I admit, although that one was accidental, I kinda like sex bruises and scars. It makes it more memorable too.
majicksand
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 12:50 pm: [report]
I once had all-night marathon sex the night before a 12 hour drive. The next day, I set my soda bottle between my legs instead of in the cup holder and discovered my inner thighs were quite sore. I got the most amazing sensation everytime I squeezed my legs. Needless to say, the soda never made it to the drink holder, and I arrived at my destination smiling.
bogart4017
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 01:22 pm: [report]
...and they say love is not suppose to hurt.
Gingee
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 10:10 am: [report]
If Any guy did that to any part of my precious self, I would grab his testicles in one hand, the penis in the other, squeeze and twist them in opposite directions, the
way that one squeezes water out of a sponge,
hen I’d drag him to my front door and boot his naked jerk self out onto the street.
Then I’d go the local ER, get treated and report this as a sex crime and the pervett would hopefully soon be getting his own sleazoid self bruised by his cell mate.
brandyalexander
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 10:16 am: [report]
Gingee… everyone on this post is talking about accidental or consensual injuries or bruises. Yes, if he had bit me till I bled and did it on purpose and against my wishes, then of course I would ditch him. What I was saying (and all the other posters, from what I gather), was that these things occurred when we were lost in the moment, and actually, things we secretly like thinking back on later.
Oh, sometimes I miss my little vampire… sigh…
stiffinp
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 07:44 am: [report]
Gingee: An indian burn on the penis. Ouch!
jedichica
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 06:31 pm: [report]
So, if I like it rough, how do I bring that up as to not shock the hell out of a guy, if he’s not really that type in the past?
Or if its someone new, how do you ladies set the stage while having sex?
Men? How do your partners tell you to take it a step up?
_jsw_
wrote on September 3 2009 @ 07:54 pm: [report]
@jedichica: I’ve never been in a
positionsituation where I’ve been told to play more roughly, but I think that pretty much all you need to do is toease him into ittake it a bit further each time, and tell him the steps along the way (spanking, perhaps, is a good start, then hair pulling perhaps, leading all the way up to where you like it to be). Make sure he knows that you enjoy it and want it, and make sure you progress slowly. If he’s going to have barriers, you’ll find out, but I think you’ll find that your partners will be willing to do what you like if you let them acclimate a step at a time.Communication is the key.
flirty lee
wrote on September 5 2009 @ 09:42 am: [report]
@bronzebuttercup: I concur, I definitely cherish my rugburn!
@jedichica: Well if it’s someone you’ve been with for a while already and had more vanilla sex with, try saying that you want to change things up a bit just for some excitement, or that you’ve always been curious about certain things. For me, I’ve always been into it and have told my guys what I like before hitting the sack. Or a sexier way of doing it would obviously be some great dirty talk, telling him exactly what you want him to do. It may be risky if you don’t know if they guy will be into whatever you like, but also sexy as hell if successful
Last year the day before spring break I was just playing around with a friend of a friend who was visiting and DANG he was good, and a biter. The next day my body was literally covered in bruises because he had bitten me everywhere, and they went so far up my neck even my mock-turtelneck tee couldn’t hide it! Two days later, I went with my choir to Florida to tour on spring break and we went to the beach every single day, and I spent the majority of break insisting that the coed frat I was pledging at the time was NOT abusing me! But looking at those bruises still made me smile
jedichica
wrote on September 5 2009 @ 06:30 pm: [report]
@flirty lee: I love biters.
Your ideas about talking about sex before you get in the sack are a great idea as well. Thanks!
@_jsw_: Perfect plan, with no awkward shock effects. Thank you!!
It all keeps things just a little more interesting!
babylaceface
wrote on September 7 2009 @ 05:46 pm: [report]
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. I’m into S&M and i always tell him to give it to me rough. We do get pretty crazy with it and he spanks me but I can tell he is holding back on some stuff he wants to do because he’s afraid to hurt me.
How can I let him know that I want it too when i’ve already tried telling him to be rough?
venusian
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 01:25 pm: [report]
@babylaceface: I have been thinking the same thing for TOO long! someone help he says he can’t do that to someone he loves or think its degrading… but no matter how many times i tell him i want him to be rough he holds back. any ideas?
amandamay83
wrote on December 4 2009 @ 12:16 pm: [report]
I didn’t realize I liked it rough until my man bit my nipples just a little too hard one night…but like the song says, it hurt so good. Sometimes, a good yank of the hair is what it takes to send me over the edge. And there’s been more than a couple occassions where it hurts when my bra brushes against my nipples…but it’s a nice problem to have. It never ceases to make me smile (after the initial wince).
angel001717
wrote on January 27 2010 @ 01:22 am: [report]
Same here Ginger
I Like It Rough - Lady GaGa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebGM2eMWrMc