Anal Sex Facts And Advice

Posted by: Dr. V | Filed in: Sex
5:00PM, Friday December 05th 2008

Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily led me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. Now, let’s get this party started…

According to the CDC, anal sex is on the rise! Back in grungy 1992, about 25% of straight men and 20% of women said they’d had their tush pushed. Then in 2005, that number of heterosexuals jumped to nearly 40% of men and 35% of women. Of course, back in the 1940s, notable sex scientist, Alfred Kinsey, claimed nearly 40% of peeps were doin’ the butt. Well, opinions are like a**holes—we’ve all got one. After the jump, everything you could ever possibly want to know about anal sex.

HOW IT HAPPENED TO ME
I was in love with a guy who had a large penis—well, larger than anything that had ever been anywhere near my derriere. I thought it was going to be so naughty doing back door business! I trusted him to officially open my no-no factory.

WHO IS TO BLAME
Curiosity and the prostate. In my vast experience, unless it’s combined with clitoral stimulation, most girls don’t like it. But there’s more than one reason why guys do! First of all, men can actually have their prostate pleasured by anal penetration since their rectum is so close to the gland. Women, well, we just don’t have prostates, so there is no bonus button back there making us want to pick door #2. That being said, just like your fingertips, you do have nerve endings in your anus that are sensitive to the touch, so you will feel a sensation. Men also like bumpin’ your butt because it’s a narrower channel for their slick rick to swim in. They find it extra-stimulating to be held so tight.

SIGNS
My dude added a finger first, which is the way to get this party started. Then, later, we discussed how he could get the full monty python in there. Now, my BF was a gentleman, but sometimes a guy will try to sneak up on you. You feel him on your booty, but he’s not spanking, grabbing, or palming—he’s headed for the crack and that’s wack! If a dude plans on putting it in your rear, he better clear it with you first. And the subject will be brought up… eventually. My guess is roughly nine in 10 guys you date will ask your position on anal at some point. The key here is, he will listen to what you have to say and discuss all the possibilities with you.

WHAT TO DO
Relax. Seriously, no clenching. You have to loosen up, literally. And just like your vagina, your anus needs some sweet pre-gaming before it’s ready to party! As you know, your rectum, or the tunnel of love, in this case, can expand to accommodate a huge amount of, um, crap. So, what needs to open up are your two sphincters—the internal one is located at the top of your rectum and the external one at the bottom (that’s the one you can see). They’re the only parts that truly feel pain, and just like a shrink would say: they both have to let go.

Bear in mind, as the penis enters, the internal sphincter contracts naturally. So, give yourself 30 seconds to a minute to ease in. You’ll know when you’re good to go because you’ll feel yourself start to relax back there. Don’t start until you’re feeling cozy and your booty feels extra loosey-goosey. Then, using a lot of lube and ALWAYS a condom, slide into home!

WHERE I WENT WRONG
My dude was a rough rider and playing booty bumper cars made our anal experiences crash and burn. During his bouts in my bottom, I was focused on trying to control how deep he could go, so I never quite got the chance to enjoy it. Unfortunately, I never was able to get off on anal and mostly I just wanted him to finish fast. The last time we did it, he just stuck it in without warning. Clearly, we had bad communication when it came to butt sex and it probably was symptomatic of the problems in our love life overall. But there’s a lesson for us all here—you cannot be as pushy with anal sex, both by goading a partner into it or by pumping away too hard and fast. If you get or give the green light to come in the caboose cave, you got to ride along gently—not just for the sake of the people and the pleasure, but also for the condom. Since there’s so much friction occurring, the condom can break more easily. Take it slow! The pace will actually make it extra sensual.

TIME TABLE
Guys usually get off faster when they’re back there—bonus! However, you might not, especially if your clitoris isn’t also seeing a lil’ action. So make sure your goods also get taken care of. Then, you can rinse and repeat whenever you like!

EMBARRASSMENT FACTOR
Unless you’re dating a douche bag, there’s no shame in putting his penis in a place they’ve been going since the dawn of doing it. If your partner is hurting you, ask him to stop. You don’t want to have walk around with a sore booty from pushin’ the cushion too hard. That could be embarrassing. So, be sure you’re taking it easy. Just remember kids, the keys to anal sex are lubricate and communicate.

TIPS
1. Use Protection: You can get STDs even back there! Plus, there’s much more risk involved with anal sex, since the rectal mucosal lining is super thin and can tear quicker than you can say “put it in my booty.” Just because you can’t make a baby doesn’t mean you’re safe. So, for all types of sex, use a condom!

2. Gays And Anal: It’s a common misconception that all gay men just love to love the bottom. In a study conducted by the Stop AIDS project in San Francisco, only about 62% of homosexual male couples said they have anal sex. Plus, according to Jennifer Johnston, a Planned Parenthood sexuality educator in Washington, “Only about half of gay men enjoy anal sex as their primary form of sexual intercourse with a partner.”

3. Nailed It! Since the lining in your rectum is easily ripped, (which is no big deal because it will repair itself) be careful when you get fingers involved. Watch the nails!

4. Jiffy Lube Your butt doesn’t lubricate itself, so use lots and lots of lube, all over the condom and even between the crack.

5. Myth Busters Contrary to a lot of classic urban myths, anal sex cannot cause bowel control problems. A study, published in the American Journal of Gastroenterology, back in 1997, found no difference in incontinence levels between men who had been screwed up the wahzoo and those who hadn’t. Anal sex happens in the rectum, which is merely a shaft. It doesn’t affect your ability to poop or to not poop.

6. Blood On The Tracks: If you see some blood spotting, don’t get upset. It’s just a sign that the rectal mucosal lining tore a bit, which happens. You’re not permanently damaged. Simply give your butt a break to heal.

7. Anal Ease: While it’s important that your man respects your boundaries and that you are aware if you’re being hurt, a little numbing cream can help your uptight sphincter turn into a softy.

SEXY TIMES
First of all, you should never go from B-to-V. Never ever! You have to switch condoms or clean his junk with perfume-free soap. Otherwise, you’re going to get more than just satisfaction—you’ll likely get a yeast infection or a UTI. However, you can work in reverse and go from the V-to-B, no problem.

Now, for the big old icky elephant in the room—feces. Even the word makes me wince, but you can totes avoid grossing out your partner, easy. Since your rectum is merely a passageway for poop, it’s actually stored in the colon until it’s #2 time. So where the sexy happens is just a tunnel waiting for traffic in either direction. Some remnants may be hanging around in the rectum, so ideally you should clean the junk in your trunk before you let a peen pull in. Here’s how:
1. Oddly enough, it’s a good idea to eat fiber and poop before having anal sex merely to clear the path.

2. Then wipe up with a moist tissue, wet cotton balls, or scent-free baby wipes.

3. Enemas can be ideal, but also a bit extreme. You would have to take one a few hours before hand since they often cause some irritation—not to mention preparatory hassle. You can make the poor man’s quickie version by filling an ear syringe with water. Lube up the tip, put the tip in your anus, and then squeeze the bulb a few times to flush it out. Like an at home colonic! You’re ready to get it on.

FUNKY FACTS
1. By 2002, 36 states had repealed their narrow-minded sodomy laws, or had them overturned in court. The remaining states were forced to accept the civil right to anal sex in 2003 thanks to the landmark Supreme Court case Lawrence v. Texas.

2. Renaissance poet Pietro Aretino romanticized anal sex in his “Lust Sonnets.”

3. “Pegging” is the lingo for when a woman straps on a dildo and does a dude from behind. Now that’s equality!

4. Almost a third of French women surveyed in 2001 said they had anal sex, but only a third of that number said they enjoyed it.

5. While the Ancient Greeks were big fans of anal sex, the Romans weren’t interested in copying that part of their culture. Two male citizens would be condemned for engaging in butt banging. However, it was totally okay (and common) for free men to knock on a slave’s back door.

[Healthy Devil, Duke University]
[Sex Etc.]
[Self Help Magazine]
[Anal Sex Yes]
[Go Ask Alice]
[HIV Insite]
[Scarleteen]
[Wikipedia]

Amelia
wrote on December 05 2008 @ 06:18 pm:

[report]

This truly is everything I could ever want to know about anal sex. Seriously. Also, why didn’t anyone ever clue me in to the existence of anal ease?

EastCoastMale
wrote on December 05 2008 @ 07:13 pm:

Amelia, I definitely feel for you if you had to wait and find that out teh hard way, so to speak. This would be my first openly naughty post on this site so I will actually dodge it a little bit and save that reveal for later but I do agree with this article for sure. It touched on the key points that needed to be made in a way thats wasnt too clinical and still got the information across. I do find it interesting that the stat of 9 out of 10 men would ask for it, to be able to perform on their partner. I will keep hush on my thoughts on that…

Simcha
wrote on December 05 2008 @ 08:00 pm:

Oh please don’t keep quiet East Coast Male!

diabadass
wrote on December 05 2008 @ 09:39 pm:

Perhaps I’m just a tad too lazy to be bothered with back-door business. I mean, prep for regular date can be arduous enough without a home enema. Something about an eye-dropper up the booty just doesn’t say “gettin’ sexy” to me.

Alexa
wrote on December 06 2008 @ 12:13 am:

I take issue with the use of anal ease or any numbing creams for anal sex, especially your first time. Pain is nature’s way of telling you something is wrong, and numbing your #### for anal penetration can lead to some serious damage because you won’t feel the tearing that might occur.

If you learn to do anal correctly, it doesn’t hurt and you won’t need to numb your little rosebud. You should train your anus to take something into it BEFORE you try to stuff it with a ####. Doing this will lead to a pretty much painless first anal experience. There’s a really good article on how to do this at:

http://www.caitlainscorner.com/content/view/312/70/1/1/

EastCoastMale
wrote on December 06 2008 @ 03:05 am:

@ Simcha, oh I am really too bad to speak out fully on this subject in this type of forum. I save my most blunt conversation, still respectful, for my Y. =)

@ Alexa, I dont advocate any numbing agent I just prefer plain old lubrication to ease things along. I do agree about your statement on preparing before trying to take a man that way.

TexasGirl
wrote on December 06 2008 @ 03:41 pm:

Reading this made my butt pucker.

Curious1
wrote on December 06 2008 @ 07:57 pm:

What do the women in here think about “Pegging?” that Dr.V mentioned? I’ve been curious about trying this for some time. I doubt I could ever bring myself to ask someone I was dating to use a strapon or a dildo on me… the dildo might be easier to bring up I suppose.

Alexa
wrote on December 06 2008 @ 08:02 pm:

You’d be surprised at how many women would love to use a strap-on on a guy (myself included). You never know with a specific woman, though. Some would get really freaked out if you brought it up, sadly.

Curious1
wrote on December 06 2008 @ 09:26 pm:

@ Alexa: Yeah… I can’t see myself bringing it up with most people. Odds are if she doesn’t own one to begin with, she probably would be freaked out by it, haha. If you don’t mind me asking, have you actually done it before?

I’ve experimented a bit myself (with certain produce items, lol) while masturbating and have found the sensation to be incredible. I’ve been trying to think about how to go about actually experiencing this with a partner… I’ve thought about trying to find a woman with the desire to try this on one of those “hook up/dating” sites… another option I’ve considered would be finding a couple looking for a threesome. The latter situation I’m not sure if I could actually bring myself to do. I’ve always considered myself straight, but I have fantasized about that a bit… though oddly this only happens after I’m aroused, and when I’m done, I lose interest in the idea (the threesome that is) pretty instantly.

Any thoughts/suggestions, anyone?

Sorry to be so personal, but this seems like the place to get some constructive feedback.

EastCoastMale
wrote on December 06 2008 @ 09:49 pm:

In reference to what Alexa was saying, I have heard from more than a few women that I know that they would love the chance to get to use a strapon on their male partner or just a guy willing to experiment with them. I obviously cant speak for all men but I know for me personally the idea holds no appeal at all, not because it is a loss of control or anything close to that (which I have heard from other females as a false reasoning for my feeling), just one of those things I dont have to try to know I wont like. This is where most people say, dont knock it till you try it or how do you know you wont like it, I can only say trust me lol.

@Curious
I can definitely imagine what you mean about the idea of a threesome to be able to experiment a bit and explore some situations you havent experienced yet. Personally I would say there are several good hook up sites that catere to people wanting to explore this side of their sexuality and it doesnt mean to have to meet up with some creep either. Sites like that I consider just a very central group of people who you can still get to know and chat with at your own pace without feeling as shy because you know that they are there to share in those same experiences. I think there is a unfair stigma placed on online sites and those who ue them ingeneral, people who use online services are the same people you pass in the supermarket, you just now know seeing them in that setting that they are kinky as well =)

Curious1
wrote on December 06 2008 @ 11:11 pm:

Thanks EastCoast.

I’m just a bit confused, because as far as a threesome would be concerned, it sounds like an interesting, fun thing when I’m aroused and imagining it… but as soon as I’m not, I “sober up” pretty quick. So I really don’t know what to do about that aspect.

Just having a woman provide that stimulation though I am definitely ready to try. As far as you’re concerned, would you find it more appealing if it wasn’t a strapon… say, just a dildo/vibrator while the woman is going down on you or something? I’ve heard great things… have yet to try though.

Simcha
wrote on December 07 2008 @ 03:54 pm:

@Curious1
Just like any kind fun you like to have in the sack, it takes the right partner to give it to you...And if you’re with someone who gets so creeped out by your fantasies, they hold it against you, then they’re not a positive sexual match for you. You’re not square, why live in their box?! (no pun intended) And seriously, what lady doesn’t want to see what it’s like to have a penis?! See for yourself:
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-sound-off-what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-penis-for-a-day/

par3
wrote on December 08 2008 @ 08:01 am:

i read this on friday night while i was still an anal virgin and as of last night i am NO MORE. THANK YOU FRISKY FOR OPENING MY ANU- ahem EYES to easy anal! what what in the butt!

shannac02
wrote on December 08 2008 @ 03:34 pm:

I LOVE this post!!! this is so great!!!! Open up some eyes to a “taboo” that is good for all!!! LOL

EastCoastMale
wrote on December 08 2008 @ 03:40 pm:

I agree Shanna lol

@Curious
I find it interesting that the idea of being in a threesome is hot when your aroused but then goes away as you said, very quickly, but the idea of a woman providing that stimulation on her own to you is still appealing. Do you think its the whole number factor? like just having either only one woman or one man with you is ok but the idea of another couple as a whole isnt as exciting?

As for me, no its not just the thought of a strapon, just the thought period. I am VERY open minded when it comes to sex but some things I just draw my line on just as I am sure some women do but this is one area for me on the receiving end that has no appeal whatsoever. Some will say I am missing out and should experiment but I enjoy what I like already and dont feel the need =)

shannac02
wrote on December 08 2008 @ 03:43 pm:

This is my opinion on the strap-on: If your man is okay with that, then go for it and never look back! but, I think the idea would be pretty emasculating for most men… just sayin’!

EastCoastMale
wrote on December 08 2008 @ 05:58 pm:

I am with ya, if both people are down then go for it. For me its not even a matter of emasculating its just not something I would opt for lol. I wouldnt ever assume that a woman is into it and if she wasnt then no big deal, not a dealbreaker for me by any means. =) There is plenty of other fun to be had.

robf
wrote on December 08 2008 @ 08:21 pm:

Despite being in my 30’s, I have never had anal sex with any partner. But, I have a FWB who is eager to help me do the deed (her being the recipient), and we have a date planned.

Nervous I am, which is not conducive to maintaining the necessary state of arousal while taking it slowly. Any tips?

Dr. V
wrote on December 08 2008 @ 08:56 pm:

@robf
Oooh how exciting! My advice is start with the usual stuff you like to do- foreplay, oral, even vaginal sex....just add a well manicured finger to get both you and her ready to go there. I know it’s hard to not to rush to the big finale, but really take it slow. Then when you feel like you’re getting there, head to the butt and I can’t stress this enough, use PLENTY OF LUBE.

Now just to get yourself in the right mindset I want you to get a piece of chocolate- a morsel like a hersey’s kiss of Dove little guy will do. Put it in your mouth and let it melt there for at least 30-45 seconds before you swallow. The flavor will come out in waves of deliciousness naturally every couple seconds when you move you tongue around to keep it melting. That’s how anal should go.

Now, while you’re actually doing it, play something slow and sexy to lead the pace like the new Al Green record, “Lay It Down.” Rock with him, follow his slow jam with your own thrusts.

Also, keep in mind, when you first get it in there, it takes 30 sec-1 minute for her to fully loosen up and be ready. So just start with the tip, tease her- it’ll make her want it even more, which will let you get in there without hurting her. And enjoy loosing your anal virginity by savoring each step, just like the chocolate!

robf
wrote on December 08 2008 @ 09:35 pm:

@Dr V

Thanks for the tips! I’m grateful to have found your well-timed article and your followup to my question. I think the chocolate analogy is a good one. And I *certainly* plan on starting with the usual stuff...those are long-standing favorites for a reason, after all!

This is pretty much the last item on my menu of things I’ve always wanted to try, and I’m thrilled to finally get a chance. It’s kind of funny, being as nervous for the first time in 20-something years.

I appreciate the encouragement and suggestions!

Curious1
wrote on December 08 2008 @ 10:37 pm:

@EastCoast - my hangup isn’t with the number factor. I’ve had a couple of threesomes with two women before and enjoyed it. It’s the being with another guy thing. And like I said, if I’m aroused the idea of having a threesome with a bi-couple seems like an appealing thing to experiment with, but it doesn’t last. I’m not sure what to make of it. I am comfortable with my sexuality, and know how strongly I’m attracted to women; but I guess when I started to experiment with anal stimulation I also wondered what a real penis would feel like as opposed to a toy. And on occasion, while aroused, I’ve explored that idea in my mind a bit… but then when I “sober up” it loses its appeal. I don’t know, maybe some things are just supposed to stay fantasies.

VickyGeez
wrote on December 09 2008 @ 11:02 am:

I seem to be one of few woman who MUST have anal rough hard and fast, or not at all. When first putting in, a bit of spit not to be gross is good enough lube for a good 3-4 mins if a guy will last that long with the way I like it. Of corse putting it in has to be eased and slow as the post writer said 30 seconds to 1 min. Ease it in once all the way as far as it’ll go then take it away from there. Taking it slow the whole time is to similar to just taking a crap feeling for me, I love to know it’s a guy in me. I don’t like to be spanked I don’t like to be called mean dirty names. I do LOVE to hear the guy moan that’s so hott and feeling caressing my body with his hands. Though Anal has never given me an orgasm, if it’s fast rough and hard, I do enjoy it. I can’t stress how much a man moaning does for me, it does world better then just being quiet and “playing” with my clit, actually I’m wierd that way I’d rather you stay away from my clit. Anyway, that’s just me. I’m curious if there’s any other girls out there who like it fast and hard like me, cause I’m the only one I know, and it seems from my givers, I’m the only one they know who like it that way too.

-VickyGeez

http://www.tabutoys.com/
wrote on December 09 2008 @ 04:18 pm:

Remember that pain is your body’s warning signal: When you have an anal “ouch moment” you may be going too hard, too deep or not using enough lubricant. Numbing creams can dull your natural response, inadvertantly causing damage. We don’t like them.

Also, take care to use a wide-based toy when you’re engaging in backdoor action. Most classic vibrators and clit stimulators can get lost in the rectum.

deej
wrote on December 09 2008 @ 05:03 pm:

My wife was my first, and I hers. I guess a previous partner tried it on her but did everything wrong. We did it as an experiment, the right way, and it was actually amazing! She came really hard, and she says it was unlike her regular orgasms. The sensation to me was very different than oral or vaginal sex. Smoother, tighter, physically hotter. We’ve since done it a few more times over the years. Normally, I don’t think about it much, and I get bored with how much anal is in porn. But, a couple times the idea got rolling around in my head and I began to crave it, which led to our doing it again. She claims the same thing. I don’t know, though, what it would be like to have it as a regular part of our sex life. Just the rare raunchy fun is good, I suppose.

Now, as for me receiving: Like Curious1, the idea of being entered was intriguing. I tried experimenting with fingers, small butt plugs, etc. I wanted to enjoy it but it never felt good at all. So while I have no objections to the idea of men enjoying some butt love, it does nothing for me. Kinda sad, huh?

Pugs
wrote on December 09 2008 @ 11:59 pm:

No, not sad at all. Its only sad if you had a partner who wanted to do it to you but you didn’t enjoy it. But since you like giving more than receiving and your wife loves it like that, I’d say you’re pretty lucky.

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Humble Bee
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 09:28 pm:

i know my partner is sooo close minded. He thinks eating bananas is gay, how will I ever mention anal. Pfff. I tried it once with an ex, he was really playful, i didnt really like it though. but the again, i oly tried it once, Oh and i was 17 so, i think i was pretty young to know any better.

EastCoastMale
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 10:02 pm:

probably right about the age thing bee, 17 isnt much of a time where your in as mcuh control or able to vocalize what you want. I think if you really care/love for the person and they are able to get accustomed to at least the idea of it then it can be a great fun experience. Hmm I dont like bananas but not because I think eating them looks a certain way...=)

Humble Bee
wrote on December 11 2008 @ 03:58 pm:

:D
I’ll try to slowly sneak the idea in, maybe as a joke and see how he takes it, Hopefully not up the ass,
ha. I’m so silly.
Your right about the vocalizing what I want, i used to be those people who expected the guy to just get the picture, but now I know that most don’t even have a clue! So you have to speak up, and tell them what you want, like, expect, etc. If not, they’ll just continue being clueless.

condomelite
wrote on December 11 2008 @ 05:48 pm:

Wow! What a great crowd you are, guys! I learned a lot even though I have my own expirience with the back door. I do not know what it is, but it makes me absolutely excited just to be in that position and feel each other tighter.

jman99
wrote on December 11 2008 @ 06:57 pm:

Hey guys. I just stumbled across this site (and this topic, one of my favorites) today. I have a lengthy post that I’d like to submit about do’s/don’ts, how-to’s, etc.

Is it okay to post something longer than a couple of paragraphs?

Dr. V
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 09:30 pm:

@robf
You just made my day! Thanks for reading.

duckie
wrote on December 19 2008 @ 11:15 pm:

@Curious1- Its true it takes the right partner, but if you’re with someone who you think will last a long time but may be a little freaked about pegging just take little steps...i.e. explain that you really enjoy anal stimulation and ask your girl to put a finger over your #### while she’s blowing you, or giving you a hand job etc. Then after she seems comfortable with that or even does it without you requesting it move to fingers, then small toys working up to a strap on.

Owl Farm
wrote on December 21 2008 @ 06:13 pm:

@ Duckie - Completely agree with you on this. This worked for me with a curious FWB - she wanted to try it on me and we worked up to it this way. really wasn’t a big deal at all, but did take some time to get used to things. Definitely enjoyable.

persia
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 02:45 am:

Thanks for the how-to guide. I’ve always been way to uneasy with back door bumpin’ and grindin’, but this article actually puts the mind at ease. Thanks!

goodkindacrazy
wrote on January 14 2009 @ 11:11 pm:

After trying anal sex with my then husband I was almost positive that I was never going to do that again. It was awful. I was in no way prepared for it and after that experience I never let him try again. It wasn’t until we divorced and I started dating again that I became interested in trying anal again. I found that I loved having my anus played with. My FWB at the time had lots of toys and we started off with small vibrators and dildos and worked up to larger ones. When we finally did the deed I was relaxed and enjoyed it. Nothing mind blowing but enjoyable. Also I really liked the naughtiness factor of it. Now I have more experience with anal and know that while easing into it at first is necessary, once I adjust I, like VickiGeez, prefer it hard and fast (although I could never do without the lube).

As for pegging, the subject has come up from more than one man. For one reason or another it just hasn’t happened yet, but I am intrigued with the idea. My present FWB has expressed an interest and I may just purchase a strap-on.

irish
wrote on February 17 2009 @ 01:24 pm:

I’ve found that with the right lady with us both in the right frames of mind, this is a wonderful addition to a love making repertoire.
And as noted, care and control (over unbridled passion) must be exercised to maximize the eroticism.

But when this is good, this is REALLY good.

Agata
wrote on March 16 2009 @ 11:59 am:

Your post remembered me a plot from SATC, when girls were speaking about a threesome:
-The threesome is the blow-job of the 90th…
-And what is the blow-job of the 80?
-Anal sex- of course

good, old, anal sex.... Nowadays it’s upgraded with great variety of sex toys

TaraB3ar
wrote on April 22 2009 @ 06:42 am:

I dont understand how it doesn’t hurt for you ladies! I tried with my ex like 4 times, and the first two times I ended in tears and the second two even though I didn’t cry it was still really painful. And we even used a ton of lube! I’ve given up since then :/

duckie
wrote on April 22 2009 @ 11:34 am:

@TaraB3ar-

it does hurt me. I think everybody must be a little different, but I know for me that I’m just not very accommodating back there. My fiance really likes it though, so what we do is make a production out of it. First I usually get some pleasure before anything else (helps relax a little) and then involve some rubbing on the outside working up to a finger, or preferably a toy inside just a little bit, and with lots of lube. The gel kind works really well- astroglide makes some. Then I make sure my partner is really hard and could cum in a few minutes. Usually he already is because he likes it so much, but if not I may blow him, or he could jerk himself off for a bit while I handle the butt plug, etc. Then I just allow as much of his #### in that feels comfortable for a couple mins. Then for like the last minute or 2 he can go completely in. It may also help to try different positions. I actually find missionary and kneeling w/ him behind much more comfortable than doggy style. A couple glasses of wine also helps but don’t get drunk- you want to be able to feel pain because its telling you something important. I would also suggest for you, if you want to try it again with a new partner to just get really comfortable with someone playing with your ass for a month or so before trying to let his penis in there. Incorporate a little bit of ass play when you guys have sex, and when you can comfortably take a modest-small size butt plug consider doing anal. Hope that helps! Happy anal everyone

jman99
wrote on April 22 2009 @ 03:03 pm:

My wife was a little hesitant to try Anal, as she too had been told horror stories about how painful it was. A lot of people have either watched too much porn where the guy drips some lube on her ass and then just slides in (and they don’t see all the behind-the-scenes anal play that builds her up to a point where she can take him in), or even if they haven’t watched porn, they think that the ass is just another hole (similar to the vagina) and that (just like the vagina) if it isn’t naturally lubricated, a quick slathering of “Wet” or “AstroGlide” will make it slide wide open like a hanger door ready to accept a jumbo jet. As all of us who have tried anal know, such is not the case (unless a girl really likes anal, is very relaxed and receptive to the idea and has usually done it a couple of times).

Since she wanted to see why some women LOVE anal (some women I know can ONLY climax this way), when most women immediately jump to the “oh no, that’s going to hurt, there’s no way we’re going to do that” response, we bought “Nina Hartley’s Guide to Anal Sex”, where she and a girl friend walk new comers through step by step and show/teach you how to relax the girl and her ass so that it’ll be a pleasurable experience for her. When we did watch the movie and try out the techniques, all my wife could say as she was climaxing (with me in her ass and her playing with her clit), was a repeating and crescendoing of the phrase “I NEVER KNEW!!!”.

Here’s another tip (no pun intended). I was watching an indie (reality) porn about a housewife in Germany who had always had a secret desire to be in a porn. So, she decided she was going to do it and let a film crew follow her through the entire process. When she was on set and the director told her she was going to have to do anal, she was a little hesitant and he had a great piece of advice. He told her that when the guy has a butt plug, or finger, or his penis knocking on her back door, to push out (like she’s going to go #2). Now some ladies out there may be thinking, “I don’t want to sh*t myself!”. You won’t. By pushing out slightly (like you’re trying to go #2), you are releasing the tension in the upper and lower sphincters and allowing them to open up (instead of the normal “clamped down, hold everything in” position). If you want to try this, have watched the video and have the girl warmed up and lubed up, then have the guy gently apply pressure with his finger on her pucker. When she pushes out, her sphincter will relax and his finger will actually either slide in a little, or be drawn in. When she has taken enough of his finger in, she’ll stop pushing, he’ll stop being drawn in and he can just remain still and let her body get used to having something there. Once she’s used to it, she can push out again and draw his finger up a little more. Once he’s run out of finger, you can try it with 2 fingers, then maybe a toy, then maybe his penis. By doing this “Push Out” technique, her anus almost becomes like a straw you drink a soda with....it slowly pulls him up the tube. This little “push out” trick works wonders and makes the process a lot quicker. By pushing out and releasing the “clamp shut” tension of both the upper and lower sphincters, you are creating a situation where is it much more accommodating to have something go in the out door, so to speak.