Do We Live In A Rape Culture?
Posted by: Ami Angelowicz
Filed in:
news, video
8:19AM, Wednesday August 19th 2009
Normally, I’m not big on low-budget documentaries. But this new video called “Our Hidden Culture” really got me thinking. It argues that we in the United States live in a “rape culture”—where unwanted sexual attention is constantly lavished on women (hello, cat callers), where sexual violence is constantly portrayed in music and on film (that’s you, Eminem), and where women are always expected to be sexual creatures (thanks, Victoria’s Secret). When these behaviors are accepted as the norm, of course we see sexual harassment, verbal abuse, discrimination and, yes, rape. The idea here is that sexual violence is as much of a social problem as a personal one. These little things become so commonplace that we may not even notice them, but it’s these very attitudes that lead to violence.
My mind was kind of blown by this video. Not because the concept is new, but because it is an accessible way for our society—men, women, children and teens—to begin to unpack the complex issue of sexual violence and take ownership for the alarming frequency with which it is happening. It’s impossible to understand the phenomenon without understanding the context in which it occurs.
So here I am feeling really enlightened. And then I check out Double X, normally one of my favorite sites. But this time I saw an essay by writer Meredith Simons about this vid that seemed to miss the point completely. She says she’s “surprised by the assertion that we live in a rape culture.” She goes on to say: “My own experience suggests that we live in an anything-but-rape culture, where some men are more likely to fret about their flirtatiousness being perceived as harassment than they are to actually flirt. But are these the impressions of a sheltered young woman from the South, the product of a specific social milieu that most women wouldn’t recognize?” [Double X]
I gotta wonder—what planet has she been living on? Because I think it’s hard to go 10 minutes without seeing one of the aforementioned little things. Not to mention that it’s impossible to go through your life in this country and not have sexual violence hit too close to home—be it personally or though a friend, family member, or co-worker. Of course Meredith is entitled to her own opinions and life experiences, but isn’t her ignorance exactly the kind of thinking that video is trying to fight against?
So watch the video above and let me know who you think is right. Do you think we live in a “rape culture”? Or is this concept crazy?
- Today’s Lady News: Polanski’s Lawyer Says He’s Been Punished Enough For Drugging, Raping Teen
- Today’s Lady News: Conan O’Brien’s Fat Jokes Get Him In, Uh, Big Trouble
- Today’s Lady News: Jaycee Dugard’s Family Speaks Out Against Proposed Porn
- Nicole Richie is Hospitalized! (Us Weekly)
- Celebrities Who Look Way Older Than They Are (Starpulse)
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
Riley
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 07:39 am: [report]
Please, the media? This whole song and dance about how society is to blame for all of people’s problems is getting old. How about parents raise their children to respect human beings?
I agree, silence doesn’t solve it, and the problem needs to be addressed. However, I don’t think you can place the onus on society; behavior is learned at home first.
IAgrl
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 07:41 am: [report]
Totally agree with you… Also I find the hyper-sexuality of young girls exceptionally disturbing :/
Jenn27549
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 08:49 am: [report]
Well it may or may not be, but if you look at other so-called “rape cultures” like in the Middle East and Africa, they don’t really have any of those “problems” that make us a rape culture. So, how do we explain that? Yes, I know, many people have explained the sociological reasons those societies have problems with rape. BUT…if all of these things in our culture also lead to rape, then what doesn’t? These are the exact opposite of the problems and issues in those other areas of the world. So, what gives?
writergirl
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 09:36 am: [report]
Rape cultures have existed for centuries. The Vikings raped the women in the villages they attacked because it was an attempt to breed out the enemy. Was it right? No. Was it about sex? No. Was it about power? Yes.
Rape is an effective power tool. It has been utilized in warfare since man first started having wars.
I think everyone is missing the point of what a few people were saying in the video—rape isn’t about sex, it is about power. That’s why there exists a rape culture in the Middle East and Africa—not because women are overly sexualized, but because the men are on a power trip.
Sex is out in front here in the US, and I do think that has desensitized us to it. But I don’t think that is the reason why we have “rape culture” it is because there is a power struggle.
ksdancer
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 10:25 am: [report]
YES, the US is more of a rape culture than ever before. Everything has become sexualized. young girls are ostracized if they don’t give head to some young boy….yes, it IS about power.
There exists a train of thought that men are SO AFRAID of women and our personal power that they have to assert themselves in the lowest, basest form of manipulation to make themselves feel better about who they are.
Can you put the blame on parents? Not wholly, as peer pressure and the media are powerful tools of manipulation.
We CAN and SHOULD combat this thinking so we women can empower ourselves so that our whole being is accepted as equal partners and equal human beings in this and every society on the planet.
PinkRanger
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 11:07 am: [report]
@Riley: you can’t ignore the fact the media portrays women almost entirely as either sexual objects, or potential breeders. Do you think that doesn’t rub off on society as a whole? When we see these images repeated over and over every day, it does become ingrained in our thoughts and our behaviors. I think you may be forgetting how prevalent the media is, and how not all parents are the same.
Riley
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 02:05 pm: [report]
@PinkRanger - I know where you stand on this, and I don’t agree with you. I forget nothing, as I am an Elephant.
ootie
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 12:48 pm: [report]
@Riley: Society isn’t some outside force that lives on a television screen. Your parents, your peers, your teachers, and you are all a part of it. Parents obviously have a responsibility to teach their children about respecting others, but children don’t become blind to social norms and ideas when they walk out the front door. We are socialized by our entire culture, not just our parents. Therefore, the problem needs to be looked at as societal, not just as an issue of poor parenting.
Riley
wrote on August 21 2009 @ 11:34 am: [report]
@Ootie - I see, so treat the symptoms and not the problem? Society is never shaped by youths maturing into adulthood, culture is some predetermined force that will never evolve.
ootie
wrote on August 21 2009 @ 11:47 am: [report]
To be honest, I’m a little confused by your comment. But I definitely don’t think that I suggested treating the symptoms rather than the problem. I just think that to say that what society is a whole is saying doesn’t matter if you’re a good parent is unrealistic. If this is going on in our society, it should be addressed, and it could still have an influence on children with even the best of parents.
kiss my feet
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 09:49 am: [report]
@ksdancer - i totally agree with you.
having just traveled abroad i can tell you that my view of america is now scarier than before. men here in the states (not all- this is not a generalization but rather a conclusion drawn from my experiences nationally), are ignorant and verbally abusive in most cases when they see a female they find attractive. sometimes i don’t know what to do when the cat calls and “yo shorty” comments begin flying.
here’s a question… do you think women should just have to ignore that kind of thing or speak up? and what good do you think it would do to speak up to some jerkface anyway?
kmichelleo
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 10:15 am: [report]
I lived in Italy for several years and was harassed at bars, pinned against walls at dance clubs, and witnessed my male Italian friends say and do things to woman that none of my American male friends would even dream of. Prostitution was rampant in small towns and sex slaves (often from North Africa or Easter Europe) were not uncommon. Most of my male Italian friends had slept with prostitutes at one point or another, for some it was a weekly occurance. During a trip to Germany with two of my male friends, we were actually pulled over by German police. They proceeded to take me aside and question me, assuming I was a victim in some sort of sex ring. I would have to say that US culture, while hyper-sexual, usually expects that the woman is equally as interested. If she isn’t, then the attention will usually turn to someone who appears “easy,” or whatever. In contrast, my experiences in Europe have shown that if a man wants to talk to you, kiss you, sleep with you, it will happen on his terms.
I hate to generalize, but this is my honest experience with the culture; I do recognize that not all Italian men are sexual predators and not all American men are honorable.
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 10:55 am: [report]
I agree that rape is an insidious thing that has been around since the dawn of time and will be around forever. I don’t think any cultural or legal changes will prevent it, although obviously a culture and legal system can make it more or less prevalent. Some men are rapists, and they always will be, and other men are borderline, and cultural cues can push them one way or another. As other have said, in some cultures, rape is even promoted to the point that men who would not want to rape essentially are forced to do so.
It’s disturbing, but it’s a base thing that we can strive to reduce but never eliminate.
That said, I don’t think we live in a rape culture at all. I think for every rap song there’s a sexual harassment policy at work. I think we’re afraid of doing more than just being provocative. Look at the violence you can have in a PG movie versus the sex you’re allowed in that movie. I don’t blame the media, which I think in general is fairly mild.
What I do blame is the exploding use of the Internet, and I don’t blame that for rape so much as I blame it for children and young adults having far more sexual experience or at least knowledge than before because of the perception that it’s expected. And with that experience comes the fact that more women are more often in more physically compromising situations than before, and more men are more likely to objectify women because of all they’ve seen online. When I was a kid, wanting to see a naked woman involved a trip to the local convenience store and an embarrassing attempt to get a clerk to sell me a magazine. It was limited to photographs and, for the most part, didn’t include any pictures of actual sex whatsoever. Now, anyone can see any sort of act in their own homes or at their friends’ homes or on their cell phones. Kids are more difficult to monitor. IMs and emails and webcams make it easier to be “intimate” than phones ever did. It’s a lot easier to jump straight to sex talk than it used to be, when phone calls and socializing in public accounted for most of the initial socializing.
Look, kids have been having sex forever. But before, it was a lot more “mysterious” and it took a lot longer for most kids to work up the nerve to do much of anything. Now, when you’ve seen triple penetration before you’ve even kissed someone, it’s a lot easier to see others or yourself as a sexual object. I think there’s a definite link between the hook-up culture and the rise of the Internet.
I love the Internet and all that it allows me to do. But I do indirectly blame what’s available on it for large portion of the sexual issues we have now. Rape culture? No, not really. Sexual objectifying more than before? Yes.
lareinedeslames
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 12:21 am: [report]
I’ve actually discussed this very topic in multiple classes in college. I don’t think that we necessarily live in a rape culture; comparing our sex-culture to that of middle eastern countries where the concept of marital rape is nonexistent is… well… a little silly.
I think the issue at hand is that America, culturally, has a history of sublimating sex into violence. The number of films with frontal nudity in them is tiny in comparison to the number of films with graphic violence. You can’t see a naked breast on network TV, but you can certainly see a fight, or a mugging, or any number of violent acts.
On European television, contrariwise, you see nudity all the time. Commercials are full of it. In France, after 10 pm, anything goes. You can show pornography on TV and it’s perfectly legal. But European television has drastically less violence and gore.
We have problems with rape in a large part, I believe, because we’ve been taught so long to translate our sexual urges into violent urges. Violence is “natural” and “only to be expected” and “predictable,” while sex is “dirty” and “animal” and “shameful.”
We need to grow up as a culture and learn that, to paraphrase Heinlein, the naked body is sometimes pleasant, often disappointing, and never really important per se.
ronin
wrote on September 7 2009 @ 04:42 pm: [report]
I think the discussions in these posts are talking about symptoms, rather than the real issue. We are witnessing an epic depersonalization of society. Women become sexual objects, men become oppressors, the problems is simplified to how women are portrayed in the media. What happened to our view of each other as fellow human beings? Perhaps instead of the media, or American culture, we look inside ourselves and whether we REALLY view our fellow human beings as like ourselves, or as objects. Since obviously not all of us do, how do we encourage that?
murphk2
wrote on September 10 2009 @ 02:09 pm: [report]
It’s still surprising to read that rape is all about power rather than sex. I’ve never heard a story of a woman being raped who, after the attack, had a problem with powerful people in her life, but I’ve definitely heard many accounts of women having difficulty with sex and intimacy afterward.
Rape is about sex because it uses sex - maybe as a means of expressing power - but I would suspect that if you tried to tell a rape victim that his/her attack wasn’t about sex, he/she might disagree.
ootie
wrote on September 10 2009 @ 02:27 pm: [report]
@murphk2: I have to disagree. You say “rape is about sex because it uses sex”, but the point is, sex is simply a means to an end. It is not ABOUT sex, sex is simply an aspect of it, or the tool used to gain a feeling of power. How women react to it doesn’t change the initial motivation of the attacker, which is typically not extreme horniness.
Also, speaking from very limited experience, I grew up with a rape victim, and she taught us from when we were little kids that sexual assaults typically have very little to do with sex and a great deal to do with power. So I would assume it depends on the victim, and how they make sense of what happened to them.
Kitwench
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 09:18 am: [report]
The entire video was the worst example of racial bigotry I’ve seen in a LONG time.
Almost every cultural reference used to demonstrate ‘rape culture’ comes from black culture- why ?
Are there no examples in white culture ?
Are there no white music videos degrading women, no white construction workers catcalling and harassing women ?
Of course there are !
But conversely, the bad apples do not an entire culture make.
The statistical portion of this video was the ‘shock and awe’ misdirect, and is a tactic usually used to confuse and mislead - hardly the best way to present a set of valid facts on a serious issue.
Overlapping speakers making it difficult or impossible to hear any full statement ?
That’s more commonly used by abusive factors, not those seeking to educate.
This is no example of rape culture- but it’s a great example of how to manipulate the emotions of an audience.
ksdancer
wrote on September 14 2009 @ 04:34 pm: [report]
to Kissmyfeet…..to answer her question…..
Sex in the City (general episodes) had Miranda going into a blockbuster video nearly every day to get videos. I LOVED the way she handled the construction worker harrassing her by saying, “I got what you want, I got what you need” and she confronted him dead on in the face and said, you got what I want, you got what I need? Bring it on…and he backed right down! I LOVED THAT SCENE.
Maybe the message is to confront these bozos and say it is NOT okay.