Do Some Guys Actually LIKE Wearing Condoms?
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
guys
9:30AM, Monday July 13th 2009
It’s always been my understanding — from personal experience, friends’ experience and general popular culture — that most guys hate wearing condoms and if pregnancy and STDs weren’t a concern, they’d totally ditch the latex. But a recent letter to Time Out New York‘s sex columnist, Jamie Bufalino, has me scratching my head. Is it possible that some men actually LIKE wearing a condom? A reader writes…
I’m deep into a long-term relationship (married 11 years), and my guy wears a condom every time we have sex. He’s done this since almost the beginning, when I found out he had herpes. (Oh, and for the person who wrote in recently about this, yeah, he didn’t tell me at first either, and it wasn’t a deal breaker, thank God!) Anyway, the condom-wearing has been a nonissue in our relationship. But recently I’ve noticed that he seems to really like it. He waits for me to put it on, grinning, and gets even harder once it’s there. I’ve always assumed that all guys would rather go without. Even the government is now spending half a million dollars to find out why guys hate condoms! But here’s the thing: My last two monogamous boyfriends also wore condoms whenever we got it on. So my question is, is this normal? Three guys in committed relationships wearing condoms without a peep or complaint (and the third one loving it)? Could our sex culture have this one all wrong? I’m curious what you think about it.
Jamie replies:
I think our government sure knows how to waste money. I don’t need to spend half a million dollars to know why guys don’t like wearing condoms—it’s the decrease in pleasure, stupid. As for your ongoing research, I think your husband must be so psyched that you didn’t dump his ass when you found out he had herpes that the sight of you putting a condom on his dick probably sends him into paroxysms of pleasure. It also sounds like a ritual thing at this point, and sexual rituals are hot. I don’t know what was up with the other two dudes, but I do know that having sex (even with a condom) is better than not having sex, so maybe they just didn’t want to rock the boat. And although sex without a condom is better (let’s not kid ourselves), those little latex jobbers have contributed a lot more to sex than they’ve ever taken away, so we should give credit where it’s due.
So what do you guys think? Have you had sexual partners who seem to enjoy the condom experience? Do you think these dudes are just so happy to be having sex that, as Jamie says, they don’t want to rock the boat? Or is there a chance condoms are the newest fetishized trend?
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IrishErin
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 09:43 am: [report]
I can probably count on my two hands the number of times my guy hasn’t worn a condom in the span of our 3 year relationship. And I’m on the pill, which typically makes guys feel like they have free reign to go sans latex. We’re both ultra super paranoid about pregnancy, so I’m glad that he is also down for the double protection. But I started feeling bad a few months into our relationship and told him “you know, we could go without it every now and then and we’d be fine” but still it’s a rare thing. He actually really likes the condom. Mainly because I think it helps him last way longer. He’s a pretty fantastic guy in that he is always tuned in to my wants and needs and he has no interest in 3 minute sex. So for him, it’s a control thing. Also putting condoms on can be hot if you know how to make it hot.
Erin G
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 10:07 am: [report]
I probably dislike condoms more than men do. I have extreme sensitivity to them, and go dry within minutes because of it. Using non-latex condoms helps with the problem, but only minimally, and tend to come in limited sizes and options.
jimnist10
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 10:43 am: [report]
I’m going with IrishErin on this. My bf and I are extremely paranoid about pregnancy despite me being on the pill. I SUPPOSE I would let him have sex with me without one, but he and I both know he’d last less than 30 seconds, so hooray for condoms! He even says that he’s grateful that the magnums are practically tents, otherwise he’d be concerned I’d dump him for lack of endurance. I wouldn’t, but like any considerate guy, he wants to make sure that I’m taken care of and condoms allow him to last long enough for that. Oh, and that whole protecting from pregnancy thing is good too…
LayD
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 10:50 am: [report]
I think guys know that if they have a condom on, they are going to get it on! It is a Pavlovic response.
Rarely do I have to mention condom before the guy already has it on. I am not on birth control, so I won’t have sex without it, but I have never had to deal with a guy trying to rationalize sex without a condom, it has never been an issue.
ChoJinn
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 10:54 am: [report]
Jamie’s response is dead on; the guy is just stoked he wasn’t summarily dumped due to his having herpes. He doesn’t like the condoms per se, he just adores he fact that he gets the chance to use them.
Condoms = *groan. They are necessary I suppose, but I find the inorganic aspect to sex they add much more bothersome than the desensitization. The psychological effect is interesting: there is a noticeable decrease in erection strength (?) the moment I touch the handle of the drawer of my nightstand. It’s like my penis has a mind of its own and gets bummed out. Once on and at it things are fine, but that first moment not a little phallically stressful.
IrishErin
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 11:49 am: [report]
Depending upon the amount of foreplay that has taken place - which is usually a good deal - I pride myself upon being an awful tease - without a condom, my guy would last around 8 -10 minutes probably. With one? 30. So yeah. That plus a nearly 0% chance of pregnancy = WIN.
Alex V
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 12:51 pm: [report]
I like wearing a condom a lot more than possibly having an STD or an unwanted pregnancy.
Lynn
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 01:49 pm: [report]
No guy has ever groaned about it to me. I don’t think most people find them ideal, but if anyone actually had the gall to COMPLAIN to me about my trying to protect both of us from STDs and pregnancy, he would be out on his ass in an instant.
writergirl
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 02:26 pm: [report]
A friend of mine told me once her BF at the time triple bagged so he lasted longer…he was the only guy I knew who preferred the condom.
justme
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 05:35 pm: [report]
Am I just jaded? What I think of when a man in a committed relationship is excited (or pretending to be) to wear a condom it makes me think he is having his cake and eating it too. He can step out and not worry about bringing anything back home to his girl. Even if he catches another something he’s in the clear because he’s got his condom on with her and it isn’t out of the ordinary. Keep in mind, he hid his herpes from her early on. He isn’t above being shifty.
Linz
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 07:38 pm: [report]
Another benefit of the condom is the clean-up factor. There is much less mess. However, I don’t love condoms, and only really use them because I feel they’re necessary. I much prefer going without.
BlueVibe
wrote on July 15 2009 @ 07:26 am: [report]
I’m with Alex: Not ideal, but way worth the peace of mind.
spark
wrote on July 15 2009 @ 07:31 am: [report]
it seems to me that guys think of a condom as their ticket in. they will always push to get the condom on, because that way they know that there’s a pretty good chance they will have sex. and i only play with guys who care about health and pregnancy, so no one whines about condoms.
Avemtilla
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 01:23 am: [report]
Im in a committed relationship and on the pill, both of us are tested and clean, so we dont use condoms, never had, and we were both each other’s firsts. I was on antibiotics for five days, so to be safe that whole month we used condoms. Neither of us liked them at all. Instead of sex, alot of the time we finished with oral. they made him taste rubbery, were tight, and didnt feel as good for him.
So, basically, we will use them if i missed a pill, im on or have been on antibiotics of any kind, or for any reason think we should, but neither of us likes them.