Did You Wear Makeup As A Little Girl?
Posted by: Jessica Wakeman
Filed in:
style
3:30PM, Monday August 31st 2009
If you spend enough time in Sephora, you’ll see some disconcerting things, like booger-y children sticking their fingers in tubs of lip gloss, or gross grownups abusing their communal lipstick-testing privileges. But a few days ago while strolling around the makeup store, I witnessed a sight I’ve never seen: a woman (I assume she was the mom) swiping blue eye shadow on a young girl who must have been about four years old. I’ve seen lots of kids with painted nails out and about, but never little girls wearing adult makeup.
Not to sound like an old grump complaining about “the kids these days,” but eye shadow on a four-year-old? Really? Isn’t that a bit young? Playing with makeup never appealed to me when I was a little girl myself, though, so perhaps I just don’t understand.
Playing dress-up or fooling around with makeup were the last things I would have wanted to do for fun when I was a kid. Sandboxes and mud puddles were more my thing. Somehow, I got convinced whale blubber was used in lipstick and I knew whales were endangered animals, so the budding animal rights activist in me thought lipstick was “bad.” I just avoided the dress-up box at preschool and kindergarten entirely. Still, I am the youngest of four daughters, so I had to fight the other girls in my family to stay true to my tomboy roots. Mom and my big sisters always tried to paint my nails or put makeup on me and I’d get hysterical yelling about how makeup was “prissy.”
But when I asked around, I found that lots of women played with makeup when they were kids (and none of them were in beauty pageants). Actually, it seems like wearing makeup as a little girl is far more common than it is uncommon!
There are a couple ways that little girls get into it, most common of which is idolizing their mother. Editor Catherine said her mom only wore blush when she went out to a fancy party and she loved getting some blush rubbed on her cheeks on those special occasions. My co-worker Annika wrote in an email, “I enjoyed watching my mom apply her makeup, and some mornings she would let me wear some eye makeup to school if I promised to remove it if any teachers noticed.” When entertainment editor Kate was eight or nine, she flat-out ransacked her mom’s makeup bag. “I LOVED makeup when I was a kid—it was a vital part of playing dress-up,” she said. “I always used my mom’s, usually without her permission. Definitely broke a lipstick or two as I had no idea how to apply it!” Luckily, Kate’s mom bought her a makeup set made just for kids, which Kate still has. “I still have a blue eye shadow attached to a ring that I actually use—it’s the best purple I’ve ever found,” Kate said.
Other little girls get into wearing makeup because they performed onstage. Catherine and Frisky blogger Ami said they wore makeup in dance recitals and it wasn’t a big deal to them. Frisky blogger Simcha said her mom caked “the whore paint” on her little girl for dance recitals—but luckily, her girly-girl daughter loved it! Simcha wrote in an email:
“I played with my mom’s [makeup], my grandma’s, anything I could get my hands on. By the time I was five I had a whole drawer in the bathroom for my makeup and accessories, did my nails every week, and carried a purse around everywhere I went. My one true thrill in life, that started way back then, is prancing around in high heels and make up. Girls have the best goodies and there was no way my mom was going to stop me from enjoying the fringe benefits, even as a baby. Lucky for me, she totally supported my Tinkerbell brand makeup habit, even after I spilled the polish all over the new kitchen floor!
And last but not least, some little girls get into makeup through the time-honored tradition of putting makeup on their brothers. “The only time I used makeup was to paint my entire brother with a bottle of red nail polish,” said Erin, our style editor. Ami also tortured an unwitting sibling. “In my free time at home, I put makeup on my little brother,” she wrote in an email. “He was too young to know that it was weird. He’s still mad about it.”
Luckily for me, wearing makeup as an adult is significantly less terrifying than it seemed as a kid. I love playing with makeup now that I’ve seen what fun it is to use all the different brushes, colors and textures. Maybe I’m just a late bloomer? I don’t necessarily think playing with makeup is “bad” for little girls; just like when little girls wear bikinis, it is only sexual if grownups make it sexual. But if I had a choice in the matter, I’d prefer my future daughters waited until they were teenagers to play with lipstick and eye shadow. Even if it’s in the realm of “dress-up” and “play,” I’d rather my four- or five-year-old girl didn’t use her imagination in a way that makes her so conscious of her physical appearance and possible “imperfections.” Personally, I think it was a good thing for my self-esteem that I couldn’t have cared less about my appearance during my childhood and adolescence. Maybe that’s why, today, seeing little girls wear makeup gives me the heebie-jeebies?
My beloved Simcha feels differently, though. “It’s one thing to push girlie crap on your kids, cough stage moms, it’s another to let them express themselves via grooming,” she said. “And girl, if I hadn’t figured out how to fix myself up all those years ago, I’d be walking around looking like a busted ho.”
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Raugiel
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 02:48 pm: [report]
4 seems too young to me to!
I remember occasionally getting to paint my nails as a kid, but I think fancy lipbalm and the occasional halloween costume was the extent of it beyond that.
ccal
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 02:50 pm: [report]
I was into my mom’s make up starting around the age of two when I started dancing, it began innocently with the little bag of make up she had set aside for recitals and as me and my sister got older my mom would put aside her older lipsticks and eye shadows for us to play with (which looking back now as a makeup artist is pretty gross) but playing with make up as a little girl is what makes you see what looks ridiculous and know what is more tasteful when you are old enough to actually wear make up in public.
Goldfinch86
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 02:53 pm: [report]
Children don’t think about self esteem and the use of make-up. Like my mother she was probably putting it on the little girl because the little girl wanted to be more like her. While I don’t especially condone sending children to school with make-up, nail polish and lip gloss aside as i don’t really classify that as make-up, I think make-up on children is fine when they want to play or emulate their parent. I think your over thinking this and making it sound like some kind of feminist BS about how children are forced to become more aware of beauty and it’s value at a young age. Let your kids play, they don’t know any better and you forcing your own insecurities about yourself on them is wrong. They will someday want to wear make-up for a different reason until them it’s almost meaningless beyond wanting to look pretty.
Kiki T
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 03:00 pm: [report]
amen simcha! i was perfecting my walk in high heels at three and begging for make-up by 4. no joke, but I was only allowed to wear clear nail polish—which i thought was so lame…but i made the most of it and walked around with it as if there were never dry, to emphasize I was “made up.” however, by the time I learned to resist hearing the word, “no,” the war paint was on and I use to wake up two hours early to apply it. if anyone knows me, they would truly know what kind of testament that is to my love for make-up.
*sam*
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 03:00 pm: [report]
I’m with Jessica on this, I was never into ‘girly’ things as a kid. I distinctly remember sitting around a table having ‘tea’ with my favorite stuffed animals because it was what ‘normal’ girls did (at least that’s what I always saw on TV anyway, but had no idea from personal experience since all of my friends were boys) and after sitting there for about 5min, not knowing what I should be doing, I left to go climb a tree.—I haven’t had a ‘tea party’ since
but as for make-up, IDK if it would creep me out exactly, and if my daughter showed the initiative like others here have mentioned, I would probably be fine with it so long as they didn’t wear it to school and it was strictly a ‘play’ thing.
PinkRanger
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 03:14 pm: [report]
As a makeup artist, this is something that I really don’t like. I have been offered countless jobs for children’s pageants and the like, and turned down every one of them *I"m not exactly rolling in the dough!*.
First off, children are beautiful! They have perfectly soft and clear skin most of the time and don’t need any enhancement. Even if they have imperfect skin, or scarring, when they are in preschool they should be learning about themselves, not tucking themselves away under chemicals and powders.
Also, girls this little have very sensitive skin and eyes, and not all makeup is safe for them to use, and could even prematurely age their skin by the time they reach their 20s if they use it regularly. If it’s just used for playtime, it should be hypoallergenic, and the eye makeup should be limited.
Playing dress up is fine, but conditioning little girl to think she is more beautiful with makeup on can be problematic in my opinion *this is the age when they start to learn these things!*... as long as it is clear that they are perfect as-is.
angel001717
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 03:15 pm: [report]
same for me as ccal. i started dancing at age two and my mom put makeup on me for recitals. ah fond memories. i LOVED makeup then and i LOVE it now. no harm no foul. and besides, Simcha is right, i would have looked like a fool in recent times if i hadnt practiced way back in the day.
I Go To 11
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 03:18 pm: [report]
I was much more of a girly-girl than you were, Jessica. I liked playing with makeup (my mom would get me the “kid-friendly” makeup, like the nail polish that peels off), and I was also involved in dance and baton twirling as a kid. My 5-year-old likes having her nails painted; she says it tickles lol. The only other form of makeup I allow her to have is lip balm, though.
I don’t see the harm in playing around with it at home, or wearing it for dance recitals/other performing arts-type activities. It’s another thing entirely to send young kids to school in makeup, though.
tabby
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 03:19 pm: [report]
My mom only ever let me wear make up for dance recitals. She didn’t even like it when people gave me the Tinkerbell stuff, which is no where near real make up. Make up was not allowed at my house until I was in high school and then my dad would still pick on me, my friends, and cousins that we were “wearing too much war paint”. Perhaps this is why I rarely bother to wear any unless I am going out
AlisonNoelle
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 03:27 pm: [report]
I loved to play with my moms make up when I was little. I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and wanted to look like her! But playing with it was as far as I got till I got to be about 12 when I was finally allowed to wear mascara and lip gloss to school. My 2 year old neice loves to play make up with “Auntie” also. I personally wouldn’t let my daughter out of the house with anything on her face but to each his/her own I guess…..
writergirl
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 03:29 pm: [report]
I agree with Goldfinch on this, what you saw at Sephora the other day could have been a mom just swiping on the eye shadow because her daughter wanted to be like her. Not that she was trying to “make up” her daughter.
Between 3 and 4 is when they start to emulate their parents and experiment with what they see parents doing. That ranges in anything from cursing to eating to posture to make up. My son—don’t tell his father—would stand by me when I was putting *my* makeup on in the mornings when he was 3 and use the brushes after I put them down. I didn’t tell him no or even acknowledge what he was doing (unless he tried to eat the brush) because he was just doing he saw me doing. He’s five now and has no interest.
Girls do what they see. I didn’t experiment with make up when I was little until I hit ten. BEfore that, my mother never wore it except on special occasions. So I didn’t see it enough to spark an interest. I did wear it for dance recitals. And she let me wear coverup and powder to my cousin’s HS graduation when I was 12 because I had broken my nose the night before and had two black eyes.
AlisonNoelle
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 03:29 pm: [report]
I guess I should add that I still love make up as an adult. But not in a clownish mask kinda way!
HitOrMissJudy
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 03:52 pm: [report]
My mom bought a big bag of cheapo makeup and had tons of cool old thrift store clothes that she’d let us get into to stage plays in our yard. It was fun, but we weren’t wearing it to school until we were teenagers. And by then she was more worried about tattoos and weird piercings than a little eyeliner.
Lynn
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 04:03 pm: [report]
I don’t think I wore makeup until I was 13. I don’t recall ever really wanting to either, but my mom was never into makeup when I was little so maybe I just didn’t really think of it.
MarieMacCee
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 04:10 pm: [report]
I used to spend much of my time with my grandmother, who was the consummate Southern Deb and never went anywhere without her red lipstick and Lalique perfume. My mom was the same with her Great Lash Mascara and red lipstick-so the first thing I did when I figured out how to was apply as much red lipstick as i could get away with. I never thought of it as a beauty accessory, or a way of making myself a premature sexual object, I just loved that they wore it and wanted to be like them. I think I was 5 when I mastered the application of lipstick without a mirror (inside the lines, thank you very much!). I think its just innocent posturing, and as long as mothers aren’t putting it on their girls to make them look better, a pretty normal thing.
I never got to go to Sephora tho-I feel cheated
effing hickster
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 04:16 pm: [report]
Think of it this way: how many Phillip Garridos and Hans Fritzls out there are secretly thanking the heavens for moms who let their pre-teenage girls wear makeup, bikini swimsuits, and even thong underwear? Sometimes it’s not a matter of what other people think, but a matter of what other people hope for.
Of course any adult woman has the right to wear what she wants, but children should not be fetish-ized.
spark
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 04:27 pm: [report]
for a 4-year-old, the tester makeup at sephora is no different from getting her face painted at a fair. she really just wants to play with the sample! and look like mommy, too. in fact, i bet plenty of perfectly masculine 4-year-old boys in sephora are just itching to get their hands in that goopy stuff out for sampling.
xifeng882
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 04:37 pm: [report]
I actually didn’t wear make-up until my senior year of high school. I never felt the need. I was way too into sports and swimming to be worried about my appearance and I constantly scoffed at people who felt they needed it. Maybe I was on a bit of a high horse but make-up seems completely unnecessary to me even now. I love natural beauty.
sophiafaith
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 04:49 pm: [report]
To EffingHickster, I couldn’t agree more! Parents ought to have more awareness of the creepy pedophiles who are just waiting to glimpse your pretty child. Don’t give then any fuel for their evil fire, and keep dress-up limited to in-home play. And also, props to PinkRanger the make-up artist who refuses to do child beauty pageants. So much make-up is toxic, and a child’s skin is so delicate. Its asking for trouble in so many ways to put make-up on children and let them be seen in public. Why put a child at risk and advertise? Children are beautiful and perfect just as they are. Make-up and adult clothing are just that - ADULT.
spoiledone980
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 06:01 pm: [report]
my little sisters are 3 and 4 and they absolutely adore to put make up on…just for fun and ONLY when they are staying home. they just get some blush lip gloss and occasionally a sweep of sparkle on their eyes. they can keep it on while we are playing but then it gets washed off. i see nothing wrong with it. on the other had i do know of a woman who puls full on foundation and her baby because she has the normal baby face redness. that is disgusting. make up for play is fun but not for everyday
LostInStars
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 07:38 pm: [report]
Never played around with it when I was that young. I got into dress-up when I was like 10. I was a late bloomer, what can I say?
I started actually wearing make up around the time I was 16 or 17, and even then it was a little brown eyeshadow and maybe some brown eyeliner to go with.
Coral
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 08:02 pm: [report]
I loved make-up when I was little, but I was only allowed to wear it for my numerous dance recitals and competitions. By the time I was 8, I was finally allowed to wear nail polish (I wasn’t even allowed to wear red nail polish until I was 14). And I started wearing make-up on a daily basis when I was 13—even now, most of my friends don’t wear much make-up, if any, on a daily basis. I have always just been really girly.
Ghirardelli
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 08:52 pm: [report]
I NEVER played with make-up. I idolized my older brother, so I always wanted to be with him and my friends. Water-gun fights, ding dong ditch, tag, things like that were a blast to me. Wearing make-up at such a young age is.. It seems cruel because you almost lose that childhood innocence which I always enjoyed having. Blush and some lipstick is another thing, but blue eyeshadow? Definitely not at four. I only started wearing day to day make-up (foundation) when I was 13.
Sofjna
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 09:33 pm: [report]
I’ve always loved makeup and played around with it so much when I was little. I love the smell and the feel. But then again my uncle was a drag queen and was very much into performing arts, as was I. He taught me how to put make up on, and I could put eyeliner on like a pro when I was five. My mom has pictures of me as a little girl in his costumes, wigs, and a face full of makeup. Plus I would wait at the drag club when I was four and five years old after preschool until my mom got done work to pick me up so I watched all the queens get ready. But my uncle also taught me how to do makeup for Halloween and school plays. Maybe that’s why today shopping at Sephora can always make me feel better when I’m upset.
ootie
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 09:20 am: [report]
I was a huge girly-girl when I was little—I refused to wear pants until I was 5 or 6, and loved to play with my mom’s makeup. As I got a little older, I got really into all the Bath and Body Works glittery stuff and would basically coat my face with sparkles. It was just a phase though—by the time I was in high school, I never wore makeup (I still liked to play around with it and give myself “makeovers”, but I would always wash it off before I left the house), and I rarely wear makeup now. For me it wasn’t about looking good, it was just fun to play with.
Humble Bee
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 10:21 am: [report]
I give my 3 year old sister all my old heels. She is a pro in walking in them, I used to get mad at her for wearing all my good heels! She too loves make-up and is my little mini-me. I always play pretend Beauty Spa and we put cucumber on our eyes, I do her nails, make-up, she has a freaking blast. She loves dressing up and looking pretty, as for me I didnt start wearing make up till my sophmore yr. in HS. I don’t think its a big deal, if it makes my sister happy, I let her wear her Cinderalla costume when we go grocery shopping!
Casper
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 02:09 pm: [report]
I think there’s a time and a place for makeup with kids, letting them wear it to nursery or primary school is deffinately not the time or place. I remember my mother doing my makeup for a friends birthday party when i was little, i sat on the bunker and she did my eyeliner and everything. It wasn’t caked on like you see these days but that was generally the only time i got to wear it. I don’t like the makeup that’s slapped on for pageants, i watched a documentary about that and they asked the little girls mum why she wore contacts instead of glasses and she said her daughter wanted to feel more grown up, they then asked the little girl who was 7 or 8 and she said her mum would shout at her if she wore her glasses. Kids should not have contacts. And she wasn’t very happy with having to wear them but her mother made her. Kids are ment to be kids not our little dress up dolls.
sportzriter13
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 02:12 pm: [report]
As a little kid, I probably broke into my mother’s makeup bag a few times.
I was in a few plays as a kid and makeup came along with that,and I painted my nails all the time. I love(d) getting dressed up!
When I hit the early teen years, I did start to wear a little, though I didn’t know what I was doing.
Luckily my 7th grade English teacher did (she was drop-dead gorgeous), and she showed me how. It helped my gain some confidence and helped get some of the other kids to now.
I used to have an obsession with glitter, but toned it down as I grew up and realized that some of the products would give me breakouts! lol
it’s cute once in a while, or for a special occasion, but whether or not she’s “made up” a (little) girl needs to know she is beautiful. No matter what, and in more then her looks. True beauty goes beyond what can be seen.
DancerNinja
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 03:47 pm: [report]
The only time I wore makeup, until high school, was for dance recitals. Then in high school, it was only eyebrows, mascara, and some lip gloss.
loveitlala
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 04:30 pm: [report]
I started around 5th grade. Kids at school gave me a hard time about it, but only because they were jealous. Their moms wouldn’t let them wear makeup and after making fun of me they would ask to borrow it in gym class I’ve always looked age-appropriate though… mascara, blush, and powder, no eyeshadow or lipstick or bright colors.
painted_lady
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 06:04 pm: [report]
My mom put make-up on me as early as three or helped me play with it myself, just around the house (actually, I remember asking her to take it off before going to the grocery store because I knew little girls didn’t wear make-up, and I was afraid people would stare). I was also the tree-climbing, sandbox type, though - my biggest birthday present when I was five were the full set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures. I think part of it was almost predictive of who I’d become - a painter - because it was a way to play and experiment with a really fascinating canvas - my face! It was never about making me prettier (I was scandalized when my mom told me most women didn’t wear green or purple eyeshadow - my two favorite colors - for everyday), it was about seeing what I looked like with all of those colors I had in my crayon box on my face. Even now, I love putting on make-up and playing with different looks and colors (Mom was wrong about the whole no-purple-in-the-daytime thing, as it turns out), but I can just as easily walk out of the house without any make-up on. I don’t feel naked or uglier without it at all, and actually there are occasions - the gym, at work where I’m stuck up on scaffolding painting - when I feel pretty ridiculous wearing it.
Iammina
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 07:00 pm: [report]
Oh yes, I loved to dress up in my mothers clothes and put on make up. I played with dolls, hated getting dirty and loved frilly clothes. I was prissy then and I am prissy now. Of course my mother, who is also prissy, would not allow me to wear make up out side of the house. I started using mascara at around eleven and she never noticed. By age thirteen I added eyelinner and lipstick. When I was fifteen I “borrowed” mom’s foundation, loved the results and was hooked. I was older when I started wearing eyeshadow,lip liner and had my brows arched, at least twenty. I never leave the house without make up, jewelry and a pair of sexy heels.
Jewels86
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 11:09 am: [report]
I definitely used to use make-up during “house” or “dress-up”. It was only the children’s makeup kits my aunt used to give me.. but we were never allowed to wear it out in public.. We knew it was for play time only. As I got older, I wanted to use real makeup, but my mom said I didnt need it. She always spoke of natural beauty.. I never used eye makeup until highschool and even then it was only mascara. I still dont use too much makeup as I like to keep it more natural. I do wish I knew how to do more.. but thats why I have makeup artist friends
Its definitely important to make sure your daughters know that they are beautiful without makeup so that they dont rely on it for self esteem.