Did Michelle Obama Settle When She Married Barack?
Posted by: Catherine Strawn
Filed in:
relationships
7:00AM, Wednesday June 10th 2009
Michelle Obama has been our first lady for just over seven months, and she’s already been attributed with making a positive contribution to the U.S. fashion industry, along with advocating on behalf of military families and more. Now, Jenee Desmond-Harris writes on The Root that Michelle is a role model for single women.
Holding out for the perfect man, someone who is intellectual but not nerdy—cool but not arrogant—impeccably dressed but not effeminate—not a player but with just the right amount of edge—is useless. Smart can go with a little nerdy. Artsy can be accompanied by off-beat. Ambitious and focused may mean less than a social butterfly. Yes, there was that one guy in law school who was easily 6’5’’, a Rhodes Scholar and a rapper, with a baby face to top things off. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but please.
Desmond-Harris writes that we should be like Michelle and overlook some negative traits in order to find a mate. Sure, Barack Obama had a fair amount going for him, but he had a funny name and big ears and he smokes/smoked, which Michelle was able to look past. Desmond-Harris makes it sound as though Michelle settled for Barack, which I doubt was the case. Don’t you tend not to notice these little imperfections when you’re into a guy in the first place?
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DancerNinja
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 07:22 am: [report]
I read this article yesterday and I didn’t get the “Michelle settled for Barack” message at all. What I read was we type A+ women (and I think this happens regardless of your race/ ethnicity) expect perfection of ourselves and subsequently expect perfection of our mate, and that is just unrealistic.
I think it sounds more like she was focused on the RIGHT things, open to be swept up by his good heart, good ideas, and great persona, that his funny clothes, funny dancing, funny ears, and funny name meant little to nothing to her. We could all learn something from that.
WinkyFace
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 08:09 am: [report]
I completely agree with DancerNinja. In what wasy was Michelle settling? It just so happens that all the little petty things don’t matter in the long run. There is no such thing as a perfect person, but there is such thing as a perfect match, and I think Michelle made the right choice.
EarthGoddess
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 08:34 am: [report]
I agree with DancerNinja and WinkyFace. One of the best qualities our fantastically modern First Couple has is their apparent equality within their relationship. They both possess so many good qualities that they each must appreciate what the other brings to the table. I don’t doubt for a second that once he arrives in the residential portion of the White House after a long day’s work of saving our country, he happily eases into his role as Michelle’s equal rather than the Man in Charge he is when in the Oval Office. I also like the fact that she put him off for a little while and made him chase her a little when they first met, since she was technically his boss. She did what all women, regardless of their race, should do ... she made him earn her time and attention. Bravo, Michelle!
Kiki T
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 08:51 am: [report]
It when you find a guy’s flaws endearing that spells love.
shoeluvher
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 09:10 am: [report]
Even though he may have just been a community organizer when they met he was still a Harvard educated lawyer. In no way whatsoever did she settle. To even ask this question is absurd.
Lynn
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 03:55 pm: [report]
7 months! It feels so much shorter than that. Time flies when your president is awesome
snap
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 04:10 pm: [report]
i think that if you’re actually into the person, those things aren’t “flaws.” you should never settle for less than perfect—because “perfect” is “perfect for you.” and it’s not an impossible standard: people meet it every day when they fall in love.
snap
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 04:11 pm: [report]
@shoe: have you ever been to harvard law? believe me, there are a lot of men there whom i would consider it settling if i got with them.
monroe
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 08:58 pm: [report]
If you go out with the intentions of finding someone who is totally gorgeous or has a great body, your setting your self up for a fall. Finding a partner is a natural flow. It could be the guy you worked with for 2 years and then you fall in love with him, true love can happen with a guy you may have not gone up to in a bar.
It is about finding someone that you relate to in a special way,great heart and personal . .then his big ears become something you find cute
Say What?
wrote on September 16 2009 @ 01:54 pm: [report]
Sorry, but Michelle married UP when Barack married her, not the other way around. I have to admit being put off by her arrogance during Obama’s political ascent; she acted like she was doing HIM a favor. She isn’t that hot-looking and came from a background considerably more humble than Barack’s. I’m glad they love each other and all, but he did HER a favor.
Daze
wrote on September 19 2009 @ 08:03 am: [report]
Say What is right! Since when did President Obama do Michelle a favor by marrying her? She wasn’t some poor, pitiful girl who needed a man to rescue and bring her into the ranks. She was educated and trained at both Princeton & Harvard. She came from a functional, two parent, middle class home—which is more than I can say for the Pres. When Obama met Michelle she was assigned to be his supervisor at one of the most prestigious law firms in the nation. Michelle’s drive, stability and deep roots in the city where he resettled were a much-needed asset to him. Some of Pres. Obama’s best connections and closest friends were made b/c of his wife. So why, oh why would she need HIM?
By the tone of your post you don’t seem too fond of her. You think she was arrogant during the campaign? Please, a baseless projection at best. Her husband figured he should be president, if anyone’s arrogant it was him. To be honest, she was doing him a favor: worked as the sole breadwinner for most of the marriage; practically a single parent of two children as he lived in Springfield and traveled to DC; had to quit her beloved career so he could run as the inspirational, presidential candidate; had to travel with Secret Service while wearing a bulletproof vest b/c a nut job may try and harm her; had to rearrange her entire life and move to a completely new city as she will for the next 4-8 yrs live under unwarranted public scrutiny as “First Lady”. Trust, she did do HIM a favor.
And I’m sorry you don’t find her “all that hot-looking.” (As if any of that matters?) I didn’t know that’s where any of her importance resided. Perhaps Michelle would be more valuable as a person to you if she were. Maybe if she were a fairer-skinned, surgically enhanced, size zero, yes woman she’d appeal to you more? Yeah, probably.
Michelle provided a foundation personally and professionally that the President surely appreciated as evident by his constant praise of her. In case you didn’t noticed he’s the one who remarks of how lucky he is to have Michelle, how much he needs her, and how he wouldn’t be where he is without her. President Obama obviously feels differently than you, sir.
Say What?
wrote on September 21 2009 @ 12:17 am: [report]
He did HER a favor…