Diary Of A Disabled Woman Seeking Love
Posted by: YourTango.com
Filed in:
relationships
1:00PM, Thursday November 26th 2009
I was a horrible liar, and we both knew it, but I had no choice. There was no possible way I could tell him that when I reached into his coat pocket and took his hand—to this day the only bold, romantic gesture I have ever made—it was because I thought he wanted me to.
“You’re just doing that as a friend, right?” He asked, sheepishly.
“Yeah. It, uh, helps with balancing.”
A few Captain and Coke-fueled seconds passed before I used the liquid courage to tell him the truth. He stayed calm while I explained that I thought he was cute, funny and kind. We enjoyed each other’s company, so why not see where this could go?
“Jesus,” he said, sighing. Apparently, it wasn’t going anywhere good. Read more ...
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bj52398
wrote on November 26 2009 @ 03:20 pm: [report]
My recently passed-away wife was disabled. Jodi James from Purdue University North Central. We had love, romance, and I hope mutually satisfying sexual relations. She was my friend, my lover, and the reason I can go on just these short months after our car accident is that I know true love is out there, waiting to be found again. We shared all our thoughts, desires, hates, needs, loves, and feelings. As I write this I sit in my hotel room in Paris, taking the trip for my wife that we would never do together in life, but I know she is with me today. Our love grew every second we were together, 18 years total, and in my mind it transcends, space, time, life, and death. To you guys who never give that disabled woman a second thought without pity I tell you that there is love and passion there, the same as any other woman on the planet. Probably more so. For you ladies in or out of a chair you never know what life will hand you. That guy standing at the corner could be the man of your dreams if you talk to him. To all of you, attitudes are the only disability.
Amy C.
wrote on November 26 2009 @ 06:55 pm: [report]
wow! That’s really touching
Lanai
wrote on November 27 2009 @ 01:10 am: [report]
If she hasn’t given up faith, neither will I. Her carefree and light attitude put a smile on my face. So glad I read this.
bogart4017
wrote on November 28 2009 @ 09:34 am: [report]
With an attitude that positive you are sure to find the one for you before you know it!
christinax4
wrote on November 28 2009 @ 06:16 pm: [report]
im glad i read this too…have been on full disability for over a year…but it could always be worse…still have all my body parts, can walk and drive and be sexual…but it is really hard to date, guys get freaked out when they hear “disabled!” for sure
og217
wrote on November 30 2009 @ 05:58 am: [report]
“I’m not sure if I’ll end up with a disabled mate in the future or not. While it would be nice to know that he really understands some of the challenges I face, it’s also nice to have someone—pardon the pun—balance you out. How can my boyfriend help me down a flight of stairs that he has trouble walking down himself?”
So lets be sure we understand - men are supposed to find your disability no big deal and see your “personality” and all that bla bla bla about how deep and wonderful you are on the inside. But you yourself would rather not have a disabled partner, because you need someone to help you, correct?
I get that - you need help, and no one, disabled themselves or not, really wants a disabled partner. But I think given the hand you’re dealt, its quite un-PC to say so. And frankly may be a bit unrealistic to have a big shortcoming and not accept that the men you date will have big shortcomings as well.
ericaaaaa
wrote on November 30 2009 @ 02:55 pm: [report]
og217, i think you’re misunderstanding….in looking for a mate, you aren’t looking for someone to help you, you’re looking for someone to emotionally and physically fulfilling your needs, not just assist you.
i wish the author the best of luck in life and love, i’m sure you’ll find success in both.
on a level, i can relate to the author, i’m legally deaf, epileptic and at points in my life, have been in a wheelchair due to complications from ehler’s danlos, so i can appreciate and loathe each respective end of the spectrum. i’ve been in my current relationship for 3 years now, and the only pre-existing condition i had was my hearing (or lack thereof). I wasn’t diagnosed with epilepsy until 3 months ago and the times i’ve been in a wheelchair, my boyfriend has been nothing but supportive, and he’s almost fully abled, though he also has ehler’s danlos, which can make it easier on the relatability scale.
Yodar Critch
wrote on December 1 2009 @ 12:37 pm: [report]
What a well written and insightful article.
I once dated a lady with CP. There are some difficulties but in a nice relationship you deal with it! There are two constants with people with CP
1. They know they have CP
2. They are used to working around CP.
If you date someone with CP, you have to learn 1 and 2. It aint tough.
And when things don’t happen smoothly with a person with CP, laugh with them about it. It is ok, you won’t hurt their feelings. Just regroup and try again.