Detroit City Council Trying To Ban Lap Dances

Posted by: Olivia Allin Filed in: news
12:30PM, Wednesday September 30th 2009

Oh, to have been a fly on the wall at the Detroit City Council meeting yesterday. DJs, strippers, and club owners descended on the council, begging to be left alone. See, Detroit’s city government is trying to put regulations on the adult entertainment industry and has proposed that dancers stay at least six feet away from patrons onstage and 18 inches away when they’re on the floor—meaning that there can be no intentional physical contact. So long, lap dances! I’m not a guy, but what’s the appeal of paying to be six feet from a naked woman when there’s free internet porn? There are 33 strip clubs in Detroit and many of the dancers are parents putting themselves through school or people who just have limited job choices. One single mother and dancer said, “All of us are young. There’s nothing else out there. There’s no jobs.” The executive director of the Association of Club Executives in Michigan and California says the clubs bring in over $3 million a year to Detroit. Religious figures from Perfecting Church and Second Ebenezer Church (how evil villain-core are those names?!) came to support the city, and the government hired a Tennessee attorney who’s apparently the master at closing strip clubs to consult for a mere $75,000. [Freep]

Heaven forbid they use the money to find a solution to the problem instead of just making the dancers livelihood less lively. Oh, I know—why don’t they all work at General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler? Wait a second. If I lived in Detroit, I’d cross the border and use my awesome dancing skills to seduce a Canadian and pursue my career as a professional poutine ~~eater~~ chef. I’m not super passionate about the adult entertainment industry, but when the economy is such garbage in a city that was probably hit the hardest by the recession, there have got to be more important issues than how many inches a stripper is from all the depressed, unemployed guys? How about hiring a consultant to give career advice or provide job training to the young ladies instead of paying the big bucks to shut their current jobs down?

comments

Squidtermz
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 11:41 am: [report]

Oh come on! Poor Detroit! They got no jobs, no football team… and now no decent stripjoints! GO LIONS!

I Go To 11
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 11:54 am: [report]

Hahaha, poutine chef! Man, I wish I could get poutine where I live…

At any rate, being originally from the Detroit area, it makes absolutely no sense to me to do this. That $75,000 they’re spending on a lawyer could’ve just as easily gone towards, well, anything to actually do something with the city itself. The city, in theory anyway, has much bigger fish to fry than strip joints, but noooo, let’s focus on an unimportant issue to distract ourselves from the ever-present squalor. Maybe if they actually did something to improve the economy, people wouldn’t have to turn to stripping to make ends meet (or, at least, the number of people doing so would be less). Then again, this is Detroit’s city council we’re talking about, where common sense is about as prevalent as super bowl wins for the Lions. @@

Good Lord, I’m glad I left. Why did I leave, you ask? NO DECENT JOBS.

bumbler
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 11:58 am: [report]

I don’t really care about lap dances I guess. I mean my husband and I have a mutually agreed on no stripper policy for each of us but for everyone else in the world you can do what you all like. I will seriously question your hygiene though if you eat at one of Florida’s all nude cafes. Everytime I see a sign for one I just imagine a waitress scratching an itch or something and then handling a plate. eww.

Riley
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 12:02 pm: [report]

The $75,000 should have been spent on a giant toilet handle to flush Detroit into Lake Erie. Money well-spent.

tabby
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 12:11 pm: [report]

@ Riley, Don’t be hatin on the D, hate on the city council. We do.

As for this crap, I say use that $75,000 to help Robert Bob with the DPS or use it to keep Mayor Bing from stopping bus service like he wants. We could use that money for a lot of useful and necessary things. But city council, being the absolute idiots and crooks that they are would rather worry about lap dances. All I can say is, thank goodness that at least Monica Conyers is gone because otherwise I would swear this was her idea.

ChoJinn
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 01:23 pm: [report]

Oh noes! Seriously, what else can befall that once-proud city. Detroit has been woefully mismanaged since Coleman Young decided to alienate anyone who had two nickels to rub together. Makes this Detroit-area native sad, though I guess we can always go to Flight Club.

C.Munro
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 01:48 pm: [report]

My intolerance for sanctimonious jerks who meddle in the lives of others is growing to proportions that disturb even myself.

I don’t like strip clubs either. Know what I do about it? I don’t go to them. Come to think of it, I have the same policy when it comes to churches. Maybe I should start a push to have them banned because I don’t like them ....

Queen Frostine
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 02:00 pm: [report]

“What’s the appeal of paying to be six feet from a naked woman when there’s free internet porn?”

Isn’t that like asking why go to Broadway when you can just rent the movie adaptation? Not the same.

majicksand
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 02:33 pm: [report]

The city council would be better served to make sure the girls are reporting their income and paying their taxes. Apparently they’re are the only ones left with jobs.

spatula
wrote on September 30 2009 @ 02:40 pm: [report]

@Queen Frostine: did you just compare a stripper to a Broadway play?! Lol…I bet that’s a first

megly
wrote on October 7 2009 @ 12:54 pm: [report]

@CMunro: I second the church ban! Try living in Lubbock, TX, we are just about the belt-buckle of the bible-belt. I have “sanctimonious jerks” in my business daily. (Who, as it turns out, had the chip-n-dale dancers shut down and arrested at one point.)