Debate This: Does Valentine’s Day Suck?
Posted by: Catherine Strawn
Filed in:
relationships
2:00PM, Monday February 8th 2010
It doesn’t matter whether you have a significant other or not, there’s no avoiding Valentine’s Day’s red roses, candy hearts, sexy lingerie, or cheesy cards (about one billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, according to the Greeting Card Association). So we asked two writers whether they think the holiday is totally lame or super awesome, after the jump.
| There’s more to Valentine’s Day than getting a dozen roses or a fistful of diamonds. It’s not about how much he spends on you; it’s about taking a day to celebrate the idea of love, romance, and affection. There’s the thought, the emotion, the feeling behind it. You should think, “How can I let the people in my life know that I appreciate them? Maybe you could bake cookies, pick up some spicy red carnations—roses are ungodly expensive this time of year because of the Rose Bowl—break out the lingerie. Keep it simple. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune. And don’t sit at home saying, “The floral guy had better show up in my driveway before 3 o’clock.” Instead, consider what you’ve done today to make other people feel loved and appreciated, whether you’re celebrating it with friends, with your kids, with your partner or your spouse. -- Ellen Dugan, author of How to Enchant A Man: Spells to Bewitch, Bedazzle and Beguile, who has been happily married for 26 years | The thing is, unless you are Charlotte from "Sex and the City" (or you own a shirt that says "I'm a Charlotte!!!"), you surely have better things to worry about than whether your Valentine's Day is going to be as romantic as a Zales ad. This is a holiday for chumps, suckers, elementary school children and people who, after seeing "Blood Diamond," walked out of the theater hearing wedding bells. I can think of at least five holidays off the top of my head that rate higher on the "who cares?" scale than Valentine's Day: Halloween (witches!), Fourth of July (beer!), Secretary Appreciation Day (steno pool!), Mother's Day (mommy!), and World AIDS Day (global epidemic!). See? Valentine's Day is just not worth stressing about. So, if you're in a relationship on Valentine's Day, here's what you do: Kiss your partner and tell him or her that you love them. Like you do every other day of the year, I hope. If you're not in a relationship, stop bitching about how much you hate Valentine's Day and be happy that no one's going to expect you to get him/her a ballerina music box with a diamond pendant hidden in it. -- Bennett Madison, author of I Hate Valentine’s Day, the Lulu Dark mysteries, and The Blonde of the Joke |
We say: If you really care about someone, whether they're a boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, wife, best friend, or your insanely attractive dog, shouldn't you hint at how you feel on a regular basis? Also, it's really difficult to get a dinner reservation on Valentine's Day. If you absolutely need a day in February to make you feel loved, maybe you should celebrate on the 15th -- that way, roses will be half-priced, too. Oh, and if you're in a relationship, don't make your partner plan the festivities every year, because that's cruel.
![Miley Cyrus’ 10 Most Inappropriate Moments [Celebuzz]](http://cdn.thefrisky.com/images/uploads/0621-miley-cyrus-getty-credit.jpg)
Tags: vday brokenhearted gals, debate this, valentines day
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Comments
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atlgirl
wrote on February 14, 2008 @ 9:04 PM
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I always thought vday was really lame..until I fell in love!
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msu.umich
wrote on January 2, 2009 @ 3:52 AM
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V-Day is totally hallmark....whenever I've been in love or out, I've never been sold on it. Far more romantic is the first kiss, first date, first I-love-you, etc. If the point of the day is to celebrate your personal romantic milestones, then make em personal!
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vanya
wrote on January 2, 2009 @ 4:27 AM
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According to the EtiquetteGrrls, Feb. 15th is SPAD - Single Person Appreciation Day - and *the* day to wear Navy blue, so don't muck up SPAD with any belated V-day festivities, lol!
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Shriekback68
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:02 PM
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I've never paid much attention to V-day. It seems to be a manufactured holiday, meant to create an artificial linchpin between what we should be doing every day in our relationships and what we are actually doing in our relationships. But hey, I could be wrong.I think I need some coffee.
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dizzy
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:04 PM
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I just spent this weekend celebrating our 4th anniversary of the day we met, and I patted myself on the back many a time for doing it then and not on V-day. Even if Valentine's day is nice for couples, it SUCKS for singles, and I don't like that at all. It's a holiday that was invented by card companies anyway - it serves no purpose other than to generate revenues for providers of candy, cards, flowers and lingerie. Holidays that exclude major groups are not cool by me.
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Long-Bones
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:05 PM
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The thing is, I care about a lot of people, not just whoever I'm dating at the time. So every year for Valentine's day I get one of those packs of kiddie valentines and a whole bunch of boxes of Sweethearts and give them to my family and close friends. It brightens everyone's day and makes me happy. That's what's important, right?
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Taurwen
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:07 PM
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I hate when people say it was a holiday invented by hallmark (I realize no one has said that ~here). Maybe if people understood who St. Valentine was, and what the story is they'd be less likely to brush off the holiday as a silly day invented to make single feel bad.
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Goldfinch86
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:12 PM
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I think of Valentines day as the same way I think of prom, disappointing because it's too overrated. It's not a day created by Hallmark, sorry people pick up a bible or google it. It's OVER-HYPED because of Hallmark, jewelers and chocolate sellers, which is what makes it suck. It's supposed to be a day where you tell the love of your life you love them. Not a day to spoil or spend a ton of money on. When you're single all this over-hyped nonsense can make you very depressed. For some they can laugh it off or can get around it, good for them. But when your young and Kay's jewelers is telling you that life is not worth living without a tacky piece of jewelery and a box of chocolates it can be overwhelming.This year just like the past 4 years I will be eating out with my BF and I will make him a heartfelt card in the style of collage, I was Fine Arts Major so no, it's not just some crappy card homemade card. We will be extra nice to each other and have a good time, which is what the day is really about.
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bumbler
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:13 PM
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Meh I like V-day. My dad still gets me flowers every year, otherwise when I was single I pretty much ignored it and enjoyed the mindless rom-coms on TV. My junior year of college Mr. Bumbler worked up the nerve to finally tell me how he felt on V-day so we always reminisce about him sneaking up to my bedroom window on his crappy little scooter trying not to wake my roommates. Other than that we keep it pretty low-key, no big expectations or pressure.
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cattgirl813
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:17 PM
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Valentine's Day was fun when I was a kid, but as I got older I came to the realization that you don't need one day to show the people you love how much you love them. You can do it everyday - and without gross little heart shaped chalky candies to boot. I don't celebrate it anymore, but now I have to deal with people telling me I'm cynical because I don't. It's okay because I just pelt them with those heart shaped chalk pellets.
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LunaLena
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:19 PM
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I like it because I can get massive amounts of chocolate and pastries cheap the day after. :D If you like Valentine's Day, have fun, but I don't like it myself. But if you're going to celebrate it, I like Long-Bones's method.
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CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:22 PM
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@Taurwen: Preface anything with "St." and my attention goes elsewhere.My take on it: It's silly, but not in the silly fun way.
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Lexington
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:25 PM
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@Luna- pastries? You should not have put that idea in my head. ;)
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iamsamkeller
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:27 PM
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I really don't care one way or the other. The one thing I like about Valentine's Day is that my apartment building is giving out free candygrams... so my roommates and I are all sending them to one another. Free candy is awesome.As for the actual Valentine's Day.. My boyfriend and I aren't really celebrating it. We spend most days together, so this day in particular isn't really special. In fact, I told my boss that I will work in case anyone calls out.
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he11zno
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:29 PM
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My bf and I both reject pretty much all holidays, but this one doesn't get rejected quite as much as the others. He sent me flowers the first few v-days when we were in different states for the occasion. If we're together, we find something good to eat and make a point of doing something together. I can't imagine actually taking it seriously though. I actually came pretty close to ditching him this year to go on a trip with some other friends, and we were both ok with that. I understand the history of v-day/St Valentine to be based on forgiveness, and to me, forgiveness in itself is an act of love and that's a nice thing to celebrate. This modern consumer-driven interpretation, though, is absolute bs. My bf was raised in a nothing-beyond-hugging-until-marriage-strict religion, so he gets a kick out of participating in it because he sees today's oversexualization of it as kind of rebelling against that church/his family, hah. It works for us.
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ladyluck
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:34 PM
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I've always loved Valentines Day whether I was single or dating. My grandma has a luncheon for a bunch of old women and we used to bake and prepare all day for it when I was little. On top of that, she and my grandpa always send each of their 44 grandkids a valentine and candy and my dad buys his daughters roses. In my family, it has always been about the love you share with anyone in our lives, not just romantic relationships. As for the romantic relationships part of it, I got my boyfriend computer software for V-day this year... so that goes to show how romantically we celebrate.
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Taurwen
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:37 PM
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That's okay CheeeeEEEEse I stop paying attention when people call something a hallmark or consumeristic holiday, or that I'm stupid because I'm not an atheist. We each have our limits I suspect.
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og217
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:37 PM
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Guess I am the only one that loves Valentine's day? Some years it made me self conscious, but I am really happy with my husband and I looove the flowers, the jewelry, the long weekends away. Maybe because he loves it too, and maybe because he does wonderful things and sends me flowers often anyway, but I like having one holiday when its ok to to super duper sickeningly mushy smushy and blow some crazy amount of money on something he's been coveting, and bake a giant chocolate cheese cake and cut it into a heart shape is awesome. I don't care if it is a "fake" holiday. So is hanukah and kwanzaa and oh lets see, just about every holiday - go back 100 years and look at the celebrations - faaar less pomp for every holiday. So what? So its "inauthentic." So's my hair color. Whatever - it makes me feel good. Chill out people! Its ok to enjoy something tacky.
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campsite rule
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:42 PM
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Wow Frisky, way to overkill Valentine's Day. I think there has been about 30 articles directly about or relating to Valentines day within the last 2 weeks. And we still have almost a week before the actual day. Seriously cool it. There's other stuff to talk about. Amirite?
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Singularity
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:43 PM
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@Long-Bones[quote]The thing is, I care about a lot of people, not just whoever Im dating at the time. So every year for Valentines day I get one of those packs of kiddie valentines and a whole bunch of boxes of Sweethearts and give them to my family and close friends. It brightens everyones day and makes me happy. Thats whats important, right? [/quote]Yes, that's right, and very good and thoughtful of you too. It would be rather nice if more people felt that way...
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Timeguy55
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:45 PM
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just once id like to find out what spending valentines day with a special someone or lover is like. but then again maybe not knowing how wonderful it must be makes it easier to be alone
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Singularity
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 8:53 PM
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@Timeguy55I only really ever had the one single time, and to be honest neither one of us cared much about the day, as everything was so totally perfect otherwise, trying to make one day any better or more special than the rest would have been virtually impossible.I have been alone since then, for a long time. That has done nothing to endear me to the day, and neither has the annual explosion of metallic red hearts I see all around me in the weeks leading up to it.No, for me the day is nothing at all. If you have someone special, you don't need the excuse of an annual event to do wonderful things. You do them every single day of the year...
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SassyDaisy
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 9:17 PM
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I don't care about getting gifts etc. i just want to spend it w/my bf like every other weekend (mostly)that's all.
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Linz
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 9:36 PM
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I have a boyfriend this Valentine's Day for the first time that I can ever remember. However, he is leaving town on Thursday and not returning until Monday. We plan on celebrating Wednesday night by going out to dinner at a restaurant I have been wanting to go to for a long time. I'm hoping we avoid the V-Day crowds/price-hikes by going earlier in the week. I am excied to celebrate with my boyfriend, but I don't feel like my expectations are too high. We just spent a bunch of money on each other for christmas, so maybe a small gift, but that's it. I think it's a great excuse to get out of the house and put on a cute dress.I've spent 28 Valentine's days single. They were fine. I almost didn't notice most years. Being with someone doesn't make me feel superior to anyone, just like being single never made me feel inferior. And I still don't think it will ever be better then grade school, when we had parties, cupcakes and games. Now that was FUN!
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C.Munro
wrote on February 8, 2010 @ 9:42 PM
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I'm indifferent to it, for the most part. It strikes me as one of those holidays that became a cultural phenomenon thanks to greeting card companies, much like mother's day, but I don't hate it so much as think it harmlessly silly. There are some things I actually like about Valentine's Day, such as all the cheap chocolates on Feb. 15. And if other people enjoy celebrating, I don't begrudge them that. Neither do I feel particularly down on that specific day simply because I don't have a romantic partner. Why should it be different from any other day of the year? If anything, my biggest complaint about it would be that the weather usually sucks because it's February.
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