Anon
wrote on October 23 2008 @ 02:29 pm:

Days 4 or 5? That must suck to have a day 4 or 5. I limit myself to 3 days tops! These women having periods that long really need to get on the pill, stat!

Amelia
wrote on October 23 2008 @ 02:32 pm:

@Anon I’m on the pill (well I was until this month) and my period were always a solid 5 days. Days four and five though were always light. I think it totally depends on the woman.

Kiki T
wrote on October 23 2008 @ 02:40 pm:

I am totally pro sex on the crimson wave or flag day, as they call it in japan (that is my fave...anyone that doesn’t know why, look at japan’s flag and you’ll get a good laugh.

and all those points given for pro sex on the rag, Yes! Yes! Yes!

plus, i think it’s hot and way evolved when a guy doesn’t care about it and even more evolved when he can go down on you during it. Although the first time it happened to me, I was uncomfortable thinking it smelled, etc., but he treated it like it was just so natural that I thought why do I have such a bug in my ass..then I just got over my own self-consciousness and enjoyed. Although I don’t require that for everyone, I do think that someone that accepts your body unconditionally, including yourself, is hot.

Lindsay Goldenberg
wrote on October 23 2008 @ 02:56 pm:

I consider myself open-minded, and I DO like having sex while I’m on my period...but oral sex while you’re on the rag? If I was a guy I would not be into a bunch of blood in my mouth.

theothergyllenhaal
wrote on October 23 2008 @ 02:59 pm:

@Kiki T: That sounds like a sub-plot on True Blood.

Deannea Jaye
wrote on October 23 2008 @ 03:45 pm:

I’m sorry, I just can’t get my mind to go there. It’s a smidgen too difficult to feel sexy with cramps, bloating and a craving for anything you can get your hands on! I’m with you on this T!

Reena
wrote on October 23 2008 @ 03:53 pm:

I’m totally fine with doing it on my period. Granted, I’d only done it with my current boyfriend but we did it the first month I had it. We weren’t even bf/gf for many many months after that, but we just have a strong physical connecting and neither of us minded too much, so I decided to go for it.

Though, I gotta say, I find it MUCH harder to orgasm while on my period. Actually, I almost never do or only when he’s been working me much longer than usual. I dunno, maybe that’s just me…

Wendy
wrote on October 23 2008 @ 04:33 pm:

I give a pass on this one since I would not want to have sex with my man if he bled from his penis 5 days a month!

Amelia
wrote on October 23 2008 @ 04:39 pm:

@Kiki T I agree it’s totallllly evolved. But I think it might be TOO evolved when a guy will go down during your period. I mean, that’s some Billy Bob Thorton s**t.

abbylyn
wrote on October 23 2008 @ 05:31 pm:

orgasm = best cure for cramps EVER.

Lynn
wrote on October 23 2008 @ 06:47 pm:

I’ll do it on day 4 or 5. The first couple days I feel like crap, and in the middle it’s still a bit too messy for me, but I can get down with it when my flow is lightening up. But I definitely don’t let him go down on me!

@anon - it took the pill to GET my periods down to 4 or 5 days. I was THRILLED to discover that hidden benefit!

Rachel Kramer Bussel
wrote on October 23 2008 @ 07:44 pm:

I’m not necessarily pro- or anti- but I tend to feel SO AWFUL, both physically (hello, major cramps) and I just don’t feel sexy/in the mood, so I’d rather wait at least till the worst is over. I tend to be totally antisocial the first few days. But maybe you ladies who are saying it’s a good cure for cramps are onto something! Considering that now I seem to get my period (on a kinda random schedule) *every time* I see my long distance bf, I may have to change my tune.

starkitty50
wrote on October 24 2008 @ 02:45 am:

Sex actually helps my cramps, but day one is a no-no. I’d have to say no to oral sex on my period. I don’t know of many guys who would do that to a girl on the rag. Maybe some would.

Deedee
wrote on October 24 2008 @ 06:54 am:

I don’t have any philosophical objections to sex while I have my period, but I don’t like the mess.  So I was very excited when I learned about soft tampons you can wear during sex to absorb the flow.  (see http://www.gynotex.com/ or http://soft-tampons.de/en/produkte.html ) I tried one of these tampons, and the sex was great - very comfortable and clean.  But I couldn’t retrieve the tampon afterwards - had to go to the doctor and have it removed.  Embarrassing!!  I’ve since tried it again and gotten the soft tampon out with no problem.  I think I may have put it in too deeply the first time.

tracy
wrote on October 24 2008 @ 10:42 am:

Oh I love period sexy, it’s easier to come, more sensitive and it helps ease those period pains!

robf
wrote on October 24 2008 @ 06:05 pm:

From a guy’s point of view, I’m willing if she’s willing.  Oral less so - just not my idea of exciting.

boobear
wrote on October 24 2008 @ 08:21 pm:

I had never been with a guy who wasnt grossed out by it until my current BF.  So when I met him and he said he didnt care, I was shocked. It took some getting used to, but if hes not grossed out by it, then Im cool with it. Though usually the first day or 2 are off limits, cause I usually feel like crap and have zero sex drive anyway.

Happy and lucky
wrote on October 24 2008 @ 09:14 pm:

Even oral can be clean when you’re OTR:  Just wash up and put in a fresh tampon right before you & your partner get started, and you’ll be good to go.  Sure, there will be a little string peeking out, but that’s nothing and it won’t get in the way of anything.  Plus, the endorphin release you get will actually help your cramps.

Lina
wrote on October 25 2008 @ 12:32 am:

Sex on your rag is great, you’re already lubed up and ready to go.  If you just put the thought of blood aside, it’s quite enjoyable and you forget you have cramps or bloating.  The only thing I can’t do is have him licky, licky, that’s just plain sick.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
wrote on October 25 2008 @ 12:37 am:

I know I already commented, but I forgot that while I don’t really want anyone touching me while I’m bleeding, I’d be up for touching someone else (I’m dating a guy right now but who knows what the future holds). My ex-gf was totally into it, and I would use my fingers on her and I remember once she was like “The tampon is like a sex toy.” She had a very light flow and I think liked the sensation, and it wasn’t a big deal at all.

KatieM.
wrote on October 25 2008 @ 12:54 am:

I’ve only had sex once while on my period. But that one time I totally had 5 orgasms. Once I let go of the “oh my god, gross” factor, it was amazing.

tricia
wrote on October 25 2008 @ 05:47 pm:

well i’ve never done it but, i do agree that that is a lot of days out of your life to give up sex opportunities. so i would highly recommend doing what i do… take your birth control continuously (skip the placebo pills) or go on something like Seasonale and only have 4 periods a year… or less! it’s so wonderful

Anon
wrote on October 25 2008 @ 06:26 pm:

My current bf who is not into period sex tried it with me.  As a heavy bleeder, I used an “Instead Cup” to catch the flow.  Well, we got a bit too rough and ended up messing up the sheets (we were long distance at the time and were at a hotel).  However, being comfortable with each other, he did not seem to care about the mess he saw and we just continued getting more of each other.

I am on Lybrel right now so I do not get my period anymore.  It was a choice I had to make due to having painful periods and missing too many classes (not a good thing when you are in grad school).  It is funny because my bf is more bothered by the fact I do not have a cycle than I am.

Having accepted my period as a part of me, the bf expects my period to come and does not mind period sex at all.  He does not go down on me during my cycle but I do not want him to… so, it works out.

Lisa
wrote on October 25 2008 @ 09:35 pm:

As someone who works in the medical field and deals daily with patient who potentially have blood borne illnesses, I cannot believe people would even consider having sex with someone while on their period. There are so many nasty blood borne illnesses out there, HIV, HCV just to name a few.

Fact: 2/3 of people infected with Hepatitis C have no symptoms and do not know they have contracted the virus. Unless you are 100% sure your partner is clean, why take the risk?

lissa
wrote on October 26 2008 @ 11:49 pm:

I think that it’s just mind over matter. If he doesn’t mind it doesn’t matter! I have to deal with it and if he wants to help me with cramps and give me a couple orgasms to boot then that is super.

brooksie
wrote on October 27 2008 @ 04:34 am:

Eh, if it’s the orgasms that help the cramps, I’d rather masturbate. I feel way too icky most of the time to even be horny, though. Cramps, bloating, fatigue, bad mood… I get ‘em all. And I’m even on Yaz, the supposed miracle pill.

Bah

Success
wrote on October 27 2008 @ 11:04 am:

Personally, i have never had sex while i was on my period, not to say that it won’t happen, but i really don’t see anything wrong having sex while you on your menstrual, to each its own, thats what i say!!!!

willie
wrote on October 27 2008 @ 12:35 pm:

I don’t look forward to it, but when it happens, it just would not stop me, I love to see my partner happy

mandi
wrote on October 27 2008 @ 01:19 pm:

ummm, “blood in his mouth”??  going down during period is just fine, because it’s supposed to be about your CLIT.  if he’s putting his tongue anywhere there’s blood, you’re probably not getting off.  why do men think oral is about simulating intercourse?  i’ve dumped guys because they wouldn’t go at it ‘when the painters were in.’ It’s a deal-breaker.  This is my body, love it or leave it.

Steph
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 04:25 am:

So, my experience with OTR sex has been generally good, I totally agree with the points that it feels better and orgasms definitely help reduce my cramps.  And my bf will gladly go down on me while I’m on my cycle- like someone else commented, I just use a tampon and it’s not an issue.  Also, to the point someone made about blood-borne illnesses, you mentioned HIV and Hepatitis, can’t you get those from unprotected sex anyway?

CP
wrote on October 28 2008 @ 09:57 pm:

i was just taking a poll on this issue amongst my friends!  i never turn down sex on my red days.  it makes a difference when both parties are comfortable...when the other person shows just as much attraction towards you and is just as enthusiastic to have sex and go down, as any other day.  some people dont mind the mess.  and i agree with mandi, the tongue should be focusing on the clit…

David
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 12:45 pm:

My partner and I regularly have sex while she is menstruating.  I have never had any conscious hang ups about it.  It is one of her favorite things in the world, for many of the reasons stated above.  She says that her body and mind become incredibly eroticized during this time and that she can more easily have orgasms.  I didn’t know that it could also reduce cramps! 

I do have one concern though.  Because of the physiological realities (the cycle of ovulation, etc.,) I have trusted her on the fact that pregnancy is next to impossible for ten days after she begins to bleed.  Is this true, or am I believing something that is not backed up by biological science?

Lynn
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 05:58 pm:

@David - it’s definitely not true! Keep using birth control!!

A. Michelle
wrote on October 29 2008 @ 06:13 pm:

“Instead” is a product in the feminine hygiene aisle. It is a little disk that acts like a period blocker. If you use this, it will block the flow for 8-12 hours. I just got word of this, tried it and it is phenominal. You might have a drop leak out while having sex on the heaviest of flows, but nothing like it could be. I recommend this to all my girlfriends and they love it, too!!

Anna
wrote on October 31 2008 @ 05:43 pm:

BLOOD, people! HIV, HPV, Hepatitis, Herpes…
Heteros are not magically immune to bloodborne and fluid borne diseases. I don’t know when the safer-sex bandwagon passed you by, but this isn’t 1970 anymore. We’re not just talking about preventing pregnancy. ANYONE can get an STD, and a potentially life threatening one at that. Just because you’ve tested yourself & your partner, there’s no guarantee, espc if you’ve been with others within the year. HIV takes 6 months to show up on a screen, and there’s always the possibility of human error and false negatives. There’s so much we still don’t know about how certain diseases are transmitted as well. How about women who ejaculate? We don’t know if that can carry HIV.
I’m not trying to be an alarmist, but I think women need to realize that they are putting themselves at risk having unsafe sex at any point in their cycle.

CP
wrote on November 02 2008 @ 01:01 am:

To Anna, I think you are missing the point.  We need to lighten up.  This discussion is around the stigma attached to menstruation and the various feelings women have about sex while menstruating.  I am not minimizing the risks of unsafe sex.  However, it is somewhat patronizing to insinuate that the women/men here are unaware/uneducated regarding the transmission and incubation of STIs and other infectious diseases...with or without the involvement of blood.

Anna
wrote on November 04 2008 @ 01:29 am:

It’s not patronizing when people are admitting in this column to unprotected oral and penetrative sex, with or without their period, but especially during. “Lightening up” is what now makes young het women the #1 fastest growing group of HIV infectees in the US. Epidemiology, anyone?
This has nothing to do with uptightness. It has to do with saving lives and protecting your and your partner(s)health.
Great- #### during your period- go ahead, I have nothing against that, but never once here has someone mentioned dental dams, nitrile gloves or condoms or even the phrase “safer sex”. I don’t think it’s assumed that these are the precautions everyone is taking. I lost many friends to AIDS in the 80’s & 90’s. It’s REAL.

Perspicuity
wrote on November 04 2008 @ 12:37 pm:

I can also throw in with all the information concerning safe sex on this board.  The problem is that I don’t think any of us are consciously arguing in favor of unprotected sex.  I think a more nuanced discussion would be very interesting.  For instance, birth control and profilatics are not either or phenomena.  There are all kinds of choices to make when deciding to use safer sex methods.  And just as some people choose not to put themselves at what they percieve as ‘unnecessary’ risk in terms of contracting an std, some people choose not to take birth control pills for other health reasons, which seem to me very valid: possiblities for cancer, concerns with synthetic materials coursing through their bloodstreams, etc.  If a person chooses not to take birth control pills, then the options for effective birth control become more narrow.  This changes any decision-making process. 

In terms of preventing std’s, the choices open to people almost all involve desensitizing materials, and many people see a direct correlation between sensitivity and intimacy.

These are all important concerns.  And while none of us, at least I would think, would advocate putting ourselves senselessly at risk, many interesting discussions could arise from a more detailed and thoughtful consideration of why people make the decisions they make.

Lambasting eachother will probably not be very effective, at any rate.

Anna
wrote on November 04 2008 @ 09:36 pm:

Not lambasting- trying to save lives with some information. Take it or leave it, thems the facts.

Jamie
wrote on November 05 2008 @ 02:44 am:

Saving lives?  That’s self-important.  I agree, people should know the facts...but you’re never gonna “make a difference” by reprimanding people and using condescending language.  By the tone, I would never feel comfortable sharing that I have a STD with you.  Instead of gaining support, I’d get blamed and punished for my unfortunate circumstance.  Btw, HIV antibodies often appear within 3 months after infection, in some cases 6 months. 

Go Barack!!!

Owl Farm
wrote on November 05 2008 @ 03:52 pm:

This never really bothered me - I’m not all that into going down during her period although I have done it.

smellycats
wrote on December 14 2008 @ 07:08 pm:

So I’ve never faced this decision myself, but I think after the first day or 2 I’m fine with it. Just being a little sexually aroused around my BF during that time helps my cramps. I plan to spend the rest of my life with him so he’s going to get to know my body as well as I do. The pace of learning my body is up to him.

suzybabies
wrote on December 15 2008 @ 04:22 pm:

i have had sex on my blood work but it wasnt that hot.  i will ahve to go against but only because waiting makes the heart grow fonder. and that sex is well worth the wait.

check out the top ten worst condom ideas
studyandscore.blogspot.com

BrunetteBeauty
wrote on December 20 2008 @ 11:14 am:

I’ve always wondered about this but never really knew how to approach the guy on asking...do you even ask?  Is it just like you’re there and oh yeah, hey..forgot to mention?  Hmmm.

Owl Farm
wrote on December 20 2008 @ 06:41 pm:

Yeah - no need to make a big deal about it though.  But you might mention it a little sooner in case he starts to go down…

fallenangel915
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 01:39 pm:

Strangely enough, my flow is rather light on the first day, so I’m game for first day flow play, but days 2-5 are a no-no. The last two or three days (yes, my period is typically 7-8 days long) are just fine, as long as it’s done in the shower. It took an older man (I’m 27, he’s 36) to convince me it was okay to have sex while on my period, but he’s not enlightened enough to go down on me during that time.

Thursday
wrote on December 27 2008 @ 08:21 pm:

It wasn’t until I met my current partner that I found a guy who was comfortable with surfing the crimson wave - every other guy had always treated it like leprosy. But for all the reasons above it makes for great sex, and I agree that if he’s comfortable going down then why not. With a little preparation it can be a lot of fun.

TCSMN
wrote on June 13 2009 @ 10:56 am:

Hmmm, FK! I gotta say it does feel better when on my period (Masturbating that is. I’m a virgin.) but I’m usually constantly on pain meds since I have these… horrifying cramps. Not mild discomfort, but OH MY GOD MY INSIDES ARE #### TORN APART AND I’M GOING TO PUKE ALL OVER YOU *Criiiiiiiiiiiiiiies* pain. Hm…

If I ever have a girlfriend I would definitely have sex with HER while she was on her period. Oral, too… I mean, it’s a less-creepy way to have blood. Someone else’s blood, too. Call me weird but DAMMIT blood is #### tasty. So… Yeah.

Not sure if I’d let anyone nom on mine while /I/’m bleeding. Unless, you know, they’re into blood clots.