Debate This: Would You Donate Your Eggs For Cash?
Posted by: Lauren Gitlin
Filed in:
news
2:30PM, Tuesday January 12th 2010
All manner of experts are asserting that the wheels have come off our already craptacular economy and no imminent signs of an upturn are apparent. Massive layoffs across all sectors are forcing even the most resourceful among us to tighten belts and come up with innovative ways to earn extra scratch. Which is why it’s not altogether shocking that in the midst of this fiscal catastrophe, there’s been a marked uptick in women signing on to donate eggs. At roughly $8,000 a throw, it certainly seems like a viable option for fertile ladies, and an act that was once relegated to cash-strapped college girls looking for ways to pay off their debt has spread to folks with more pedestrian monetary needs, like making rent.
“I kind of thought of the whole thing as a big experiment,” says Elena, a 23-year-old neuroscience student at Columbia who just completed the egg harvesting process and says she’d consider doing it again. “I liked the idea of helping another woman. I understand preferring egg donation over adoption. Some of the research I do is about prenatal insults and how they can lead to all kinds of terrible things like increased risk of schizophrenia and autism, so I can understand wanting to have as much control as possible over the prenatal environment.” And the extra dough to get her through her first semester of grad school didn’t hurt either.In researching this story, I expected to be hard-pressed to find more than a couple of girls who were avidly pro-egg donation, or who had undergone the procedure themselves. In fact, the opposite was true. Friends and friends of friends came out of the woodwork to share stories of their first-hand experiences, and it was actually more difficult finding someone who had not considered donating their eggs than someone who either wouldn’t rule it out or would actively pursue it, both as a sort of philanthropic act and as a relatively painless (if you don’t mind needles or side effects similar to menopause) way to make a good chunk of change. Below, two women fight the good fight for and against.
| Here's the thing: I've always been pro-donation as an option. If I were doing it for shopping money, I might change my mind at the last minute. But if it came down to rent vs. my egg, I'd do it in a second. That's quite a bit of money to me. And I'm not using my eggs right now. Or any time in the foreseeable future. I will, hopefully, someday. I understand that there are risks, but I take a risk every time I get on my bike in New York City and that doesn't come with an $8,000 reward.I know that I'd probably get a lot of money for my egg, and I'm sure that plays into my openness to it. I'm not dying to put more white kids on the earth, but I know lots of people are, so if they want my blue-eyed, blond-haired (that I dye red) genes, I'm OK with that. I can't imagine feeling any emotional attachment to what I equate to a part of my period. If someone wants to pay me $8,000 for my egg, I don't really care what they do with it. Well, unless they're going to implant it with crazy Republican genes or something. It's like organ donation. Once I'm dead I won't need my liver. And once that egg is out of my body, it does me no good. I don't have health insurance and it'd probably be better health care than I've seen in years. -- Lane Cooper, 26, Brooklyn, NY |
I think it is wrong to donate my eggs to help rich people use fertility treatments to find the "perfect" baby with a Ph.D. student's eggs while there are still many children who really need homes in the U..S and around the world. I think we should try to help the people who are already actually on the planet before we try to go and create more life just because that life might have a prettier package (i.e., SAT scores, education, hair color, etc.). If people really want a baby they should do what people like Madonna and Angelina did and adopt babies who are really suffering and give them a better life. I also think paying women for their eggs is unethical. If you are going to college campuses, offering to pay young women who have tons of educational debt, $10,000 or whatever, it is creating a situation where people are "forced" into it. It's sort of like prostitution. If you are in a certain income bracket, and someone is offering you money for your eggs or your coo-tang, it's sort of forced situation and it's not really a choice anymore. To me it's using economic means to force people into a decision that they may or may not make otherwise. As for me, personally, I don't have children yet so I think if I donated my eggs and then something happened and I couldn't have my own baby, it would be really upsetting to me and it would make me really sad to think that there would be a baby out there that was actually mine and someone else's besides my fiancé's -- that part is also strange to me. It's like I had sex genetically with someone who was not my partner. I'm not saying that we should ban it totally. I think that fertility treatments help a lot of people. But I think for me at this point in my life I could never do it. Ethically and politically, I have some problems with the whole "business" end of it. -- Madge Rose, 28, Orange County, CA |
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Kiki T
wrote on November 12 2008 @ 10:53 am: [report]
It’s a free world to do whatever we want. I’d never do it and the world has me to thank for that, but for anyone else that wants to go for it, it’s no one’s right to judge them.
Kiki T
wrote on November 12 2008 @ 11:01 am: [report]
...and for the forcing people into it—that is ridiculous and absurd! those people being approached are most likely poor by choice, as in college students, etc. obviously they are educated to some extent, as the people looking for good genes are not looking at back alley crackheads for their eggs.
that argument would mean anyone in a low economic state loses all sense of morality in the face of fast cash—ridiculous!
abbylyn
wrote on November 12 2008 @ 02:21 pm: [report]
I’m actually in the process of completing my 3rd donation cycle in 4 years. I’m not going to lie, the money certainly doesn’t hurt, and I probably wouldn’t do it if there was no money involved. After all, I am subjecting my body to hormonal manipulation (for a short period of time). But what got me interested in the first place was that my aunt and uncle couldn’t have kids, and I think they would have been such cool parents, that to be able to give that gift to someone else is a pretty awesome thing. I understand the people who argue adoption, but with ovum donation the male (if it’s a hetero couple) can still contribute his dna, same as it would work with IVF with a woman’s own eggs. That means a lot to a lot of couples.
My ex had a big problem with it. He thought of it as me having kids out there that I don’t know about, where I just didn’t see it that way. Yes, the child would have half of my dna, but my contribution stops there - I don’t see myself a parent to these potential children in any way, shape or form. I didn’t carry them, I didn’t birth them, and I am certainly not involved in the parenting process.
Just my two cents.
vegdumpling
wrote on November 12 2008 @ 03:00 pm: [report]
maybe i’m crazy but although i’ve considered it i just can’t get the thought out of my head that what if this baby and another child that i have and raise accidentily meet and want to date. for some reason that totall freaks me out even though it’s such an out-there and not so probable thng.
i went to a class in college with my cousin who i hadn’t met. we both knew that we had a cousin at the school but somehow it took a half a semester to realize that the cute guy i’d been flirting with was related to me. gross and now i am scarred.
hlnbabe
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 02:40 pm: [report]
some places you can get like $60k
maybe if i already had kids i would, but i’m scared of long health term problems that they might not have found yet.
SCRMOM
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 02:43 pm: [report]
While I would have considered donor eggs if I would have had a problem conceiving with my own, I personally could not donate my own eggs for someone else’s use. Maybe it’s selfish, but I just couldn’t stand the idea that my own three kids could have a half-sibling out there.
dizzy
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 02:44 pm: [report]
I would definitely donate if I had already had children. If not, I would be too scared of being rendered infertile from the procedure.
AnitaBath
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 02:47 pm: [report]
I wouldn’t completely cross it off, but I think that adoption would be a better decision. I guess, aside from it being more dangerous, it’s not that much different than sperm donation.
smshum
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 02:51 pm: [report]
I have actually been looking into egg donation recently- I’m all for it. I do know, though, that it is quite the process and can be exhausting. Many donation sites require the full medical history of both sides of one’s family back to your great grandparents, and from what I understand, there are a lot of tests one must complete and pass before they are even given the option to donate.
From the information I have been presented with, there is little to no risk of being rendered infertile, for those who see that as a concern. And really, think about it: your body produces an egg every month, and most of the time you just end up expelling it with your monthly. Would it really make any difference to you if someone snapped up one of your eggs? It would make an enormous difference to a couple who cannot conceive on their own.
Nimh
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 02:52 pm: [report]
I’ve thought about it, seeing posters about the subway in advertisement. The money would be nice (house-hunting this year, an extra 8k or so would not be amiss) and I’ve never really wanted my own kids anyway. Less eggs sitting about in there wouldn’t be so bad, really.
bostonbabe1234
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 02:54 pm: [report]
No, I wouldn’t.
I have a strong scientific background and I think this is a bad idea. What happens if you donate to a distant family member? Higher likelihood of genetic defects.
Also, I strongly believe in variation and evolution. If you aren’t meant to have kids and pass on your genes, I am very sorry, but I think the best option is to adopt.
workerbee
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 02:55 pm: [report]
I thought about doing this in college. They always have the ads in the college papers. Then I realized that, in order to get enough eggs, you have to inject yourself daily with hormones. That ended that thought right there. If I become diabetic, then I will learn to get over my squeamishness with self-injections, but unless that happens, I will not be voluntarily sticking needles in myself.
AnitaBath
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 02:56 pm: [report]
@bostenbabe: If they do what someone else said and require medical history back to your great grandparent, then they’d know if you were donating to a distant family member or not. Even if it was a second or third or fourth cousin, the chances for defects would be very low.
As for the other part: the person isn’t passing on their genes, thus why they’re using someone else’s egg.
hlnbabe
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 03:09 pm: [report]
i actually calculated it out once and you end up making $3.17 an hour for a $10k payout.
i don’t really have a problem with it, and i’m sure it’s not that bad for you since they do it for people about to start chemo. it’s another, “whatever floats your boat” situation. i just want to wait until i have my own kids first because i don’t want to mess with my own fertility even though there is little to no side effects. also, i agree that adoption should be heavily considered before turning to egg donation. there are enough great kids just waiting to be given a home.
dani07
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 03:19 pm: [report]
Ive thought about it before when cash has been super tight but when you think about it isn’t the best idea:
a. the pay isnt great
b. you have to go through crazy hormones and months of it
c. some baby out there might have been your baby
even if you’re not the maternal type, it is weird to think about some part of you walking around alive with some background you know nothing about and have no rights to.
There are 500,000 kids waiting to be adopted in the US right now
bostonbabe1234
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 03:25 pm: [report]
@Anitabath
I agree with you on the genes thing. I got sidetracked into surrogate mothers.
treehugr
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 03:26 pm: [report]
They do require extensive medical history, and the procedure is quite routine now, there are no long-term risks and women who have had the procedure done have gone on to have normal, healthy children. I would definitely consider it, except i was adopted at birth and have no known medical history to offer them!
323Felicity
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 03:29 pm: [report]
I’d do it. Adoption definatly should be considered first since there’s a lot of needy kids out there, but it’s really not the same as having a baby come out of your own body. I like the idea of being able to help some woman out like that. I know if it were me in the same situation, I’d probably want the same thing. I’ve already had a kid, so my eggs aren’t really doing me any good right now at least, so why not donate them?
jensonly
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 03:32 pm: [report]
@bostonbabe1234: if you have a strong scientific background you would also know there there is no stat. significant difference in birth defects between strangers and very distant family members.
Additionally, I have donated 3 times and while it was never a bad experience, I have since changed my view point and now kind of feel like people should just adopt instead of spending 10K a pop on in vitro
abbylyn
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 03:36 pm: [report]
I’ve done it three times, and I would consider doing it again. Most times the procedure is completely anonymous, but I got to find out that the implantation was successful via a phone call from the clinic two years later - the couple who received my first donation had success, and wanted to have another child that would be a biological sibling to the first. Would I consider donating again? I thought long and hard about it, and decided to do it - I’d want the option available to me if I was in that couple’s shoes.
And yes, the compensation doesn’t hurt either.
hlnbabe
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 03:43 pm: [report]
@abbylyn: that’s so awesome you could do that for that couple. i never thought about the sibling thing.
AriRae
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 04:38 pm: [report]
As a college student this on the surface, seems like a great idea. But does anyone have any recomendations of places to look for more info??
Lynn
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 04:58 pm: [report]
I think I wouldn’t do it in most cases. My best friend did it and it really seemed like she was going through hell - all the injections, not being able to have sex (because you are ca-razy fertile), and the mood swings on top of what is already a pretty emotional situation. I just don’t want to put myself through that for some cash.
BUT if a very close friend or family member wanted to have kids and couldn’t, I think I would be quite likely to do this for them. Depending on the person.
This is all moot because I have a jacked up repro system anyway, but hypothetically.
abbylyn
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 05:04 pm: [report]
@AriRae - if you have a large hospital system in your area, check there; or a university hospital is a great place to start.
LostInStars
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 05:17 pm: [report]
I’ve been considering doing it. The cash would help, of course. But helping someone out is something I’d like to do as well.
ZoosChef
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 06:03 pm: [report]
I would do it. For some reason the fiance has an issue with it, he says he doesn’t like the idea because there’s some pain and discomfort involved for the donor. Honestly, though, the cash compensation is dearly needed right now. We’re both students and he’s in the process of immigrating to my home and native land, so money of any denomination is desperately needed. I actually had a dream last night that I won $5000 on a scratchcard, and when I woke up and realized it wasn’t real I almost cried.
Aarlone
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 06:18 pm: [report]
If I were donating eggs anywhere, I think I’d prefer to do it for stem cell research. The pay probably wouldn’t be as good, if I were paid at all, but I think I’d feel better about it.
Terpgirl31
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 06:31 pm: [report]
I know that it is the moral thing to do is to adopt (as many people have been commenting), but I think part of the reason that people don’t is that they want to satisfy that maternal drive to actually grow your own child. I think that if you’re going to raise a child for 20 years, its okay to be a little selfish and go through pregnancy.
meredith806
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 06:39 pm: [report]
I don’t have a problem with it. I know if I was unable to have kids, I would certainly be grateful if someone was willing to do this for me.
Plus..the money would be nice
yourmaugham
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 06:58 pm: [report]
I thought about this as an undergrad, but after researching it I realized I was big genetic fail and that no one wants my cruddy eggs. Curse you, thalassemia minor!
AnitaBath
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 07:24 pm: [report]
@Terpgirl: As well as the maternal drive, can’t you use the real father’s sperm as well? So at least it has one of the parents’ genes?
amorsalado
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 08:01 pm: [report]
Oh well that really p¡sses me off. First of all, MOST couples who turn to donor eggs are NOT rich. They scrimp and save and cut back and eat ramen and refinance their homes.
It’s not big secret that I’m an IVF patient. We’ve talked about that here before. I’ve never said that I’m getting ready to do a cycle with donor eggs. Yeah well, I am. We’re certainly not rich. We’re not looking for the “perfect” baby; we’re looking for a baby.
There’s nothing “just” about “just adopting.” The process is rigorous, demeaning, demoralizing, takes years, costs MORE than fertility treatments, and even after you’ve jumped through all their hoops, adoption is not guaranteed. In fact, it’s not any more guaranteed than ART (assisted reproductive technologies) treatment.
People who suggest that infertile people should save the world by “just adopting” have never tried adopting and don’t know much about it. It’s not like you just walk into a baby store and walk out with the kid of your choice. If only it were that easy. Madonna and Angelina and the like are able to adopt (and internationally at that, because there’s been a HUGE clamp down on international adoptions in the last several years) relatively easily because they have fame and they have a lot of money. It’s not like that for us average every day kinda folks.
It’s also not up to fertility challenged people to save the world. When someone announces a pregnancy, people congratulate that person. No one says, “Oh how selfish. You should abort it and just adopt.” I wish like hell that people would think about what they’re saying before they speak.
As for WHY women choose to become egg donors, the recipients don’t care. We don’t care if you do it for the money. We don’t care if you do it for the rush. We don’t care if you do it out of the goodness of your heart. We.Don’t.Care. All we care about is the fact that you DO choose to do it; and we are more grateful than words can express.
SCRMOM
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 08:09 pm: [report]
@amorsalado: I’m really sorry for the struggles that you’ve been enduring to have a baby. I truly wish you the best of luck and a successful outcome.
I also want to apologize for my insensitive comment above.
amorsalado
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 08:20 pm: [report]
@SCRMOM: I don’t consider that to be inconsiderate though. I certainly don’t think anyone should be -forced- to do anything they aren’t comfortable with.
I think that it’s a VERY VERY personal decision, and what’s right is different for each individual. Some people are perfectly fine with donating their eggs. Other people are not. I think that’s okay, because we all live with our own choices. It’s like a religion thing or a sexual orientation thing; I think it’s wrong for someone to try and force you to be/to do something that you are not/not comfortable with.
It doesn’t bother me in the least when people say they couldn’t/wouldn’t donate their eggs. They know what they are comfortable with, and that’s good. What makes me so freaking angry is when people pass their judgment on those who do and on those who use donor eggs instead of “just adopting”. Holy cr@p, if it were that easy to just adopt, I would have a baby by now instead of four IVFs, three miscarriages, and a mountain of debt.
Anyway, I’m rambling on, but as you can tell this is a subject that I’m rather passionate about, and I wanted you to know that I really didn’t find your comment to be insensitive.
SCRMOM
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 08:32 pm: [report]
@amorsalado:
I’ve seen friends go through (or try to go through) both domestic and international adoptions as well as fertility treatments, so I understand your comments. Most of the people at this site are significantly younger than us, and they haven’t dealt with it personally (themselves or a loved one).
I’m sorry about the three miscarriages, and I wish you luck with your next cycle.
lawyrgrl
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 08:42 pm: [report]
@Abbylynn What an awesome thing to do. You ROCK girl!
@Amorsalado I second your comments on the perceived ease of adoption. It is an uphill battle in the very best of circumstances and an unimaginable quagmire at all other times! My very best to you in your quest for a child.
tattooed_redhead
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 09:36 pm: [report]
I would totally do it. Come on, we’re born with millions of eggs, so we have plenty extra, and I’m never using mine anyway, so why not share the wealth? And then they can share theirs with me!! (ba-dum-dum-pshh!)
Anniushka
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 10:46 pm: [report]
I think I’d do it. Maybe when I’m saving for grad school or something; my financial aid for undergrad is pretty damned good, and I don’t need pocket money on the order of 10K (though I checked a Bay Area, CA—where I go to school—clinic and they only offer $5,000 for the first donation and $7,000 for subsequent ones). Though, you know, it wouldn’t be a bad thing to have a little nest egg (uhhh… wow, sorry) to start real life with, as well.
But I’m not entirely sure I could go through with the procedure happily—or at all—if I were doing it just for the money. I’d have to feel strongly that what I was doing was a good thing for the world, or at least for a family’s world. Which I’m sure I would, if I gave it some thought. I mean, having kids is really important to some people and my egg could make or break the fulfillment of a couple’s life/marriage, so… yeah. I suppose that’s a pretty beneficial service to render. Especially with what @amorsalado said about her experiences.
canadiancutie
wrote on January 12 2010 @ 10:59 pm: [report]
No. Call me selfish, but my eggs are mine and mine alone. I wanna see how long my eggs will keep working before this menopause thing kicks in, and there’s only one way to find out…
auburnmomma
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 10:23 am: [report]
amorsalado- I wish you the best of luck in this next cycle! I know the heart break of multiple miscarriages, but I am lucky that I got to have my wonderful kids before more fertility issues arose and caused me to need a hysterectomy.
I WISH I could donate my eggs! They are just trapped in there with no hope of ever doing me any good. My medical history disqualifies me, but if not I would do it in a heartbeat. Funny thing though, I think I would have thought about the genetic part of it differently before I had kids…
Adoption is tough. I really wish they would make it easier so that there would be more hope for the available kids to get adopted. It really is one of my pet peeves.
saysay
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 12:18 pm: [report]
I’m curious if the couples seek out donors with similar physical characteristics (eye and hair color) or if they are open to any egg that is available. Also, what happens when the child grows up do you tell them how they came to be? What if they’re curious about the woman who donated? Do they have something similar to open adoption? I could google all of this but you all seem to know so much about the subject!
hlnbabe
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 12:36 pm: [report]
@saysay: some people actually do choose. i saw one that read “brown hair, blue eyes, between 5’9” and 5’11”, 1400-1600 SAT scores”, and others don’t care and just want you to be healthy and willing to donate.
abbylyn
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 12:37 pm: [report]
@saysay - I don’t know about all programs, but the one I went through, I turned in a picture with the millions of profile questions I answered so prospective couples could see physical characteristics for that reason. From what I understand, it matters to some, but not to others.
As far as contact, the program I went through was completely anonymous. They take extensive family histories in case any health issues should arise. I’m trying to remember if I had to sign anything, or choose whether or not it would be ok if the program could contact me if the offspring wanted to contact me someday. For me personally, I would be ok if the program contacted me for that reason, but I know not everyone feels that way.
ComradeSquirrel
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 01:07 pm: [report]
when i was in college, i considered this (for financial reasons, naturally) but once i read about the health risks of the procedure—all the fertility drugs they give you can result in some NASTY side effects—it was definitely NOT an option for me. i want to have my own kids someday, and the risk of losing that ability so someone else could have a baby i would never see was just way too much.
SassyDaisy
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 01:21 pm: [report]
I’ve considered it but to be honest i am not strong enough, therefore i congratulate those of you up here that donated and will still consider doing it again…
It takes a very strong of character woman to do this!
saysay
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 01:26 pm: [report]
Thanks for the info… It starts getting a little strange for me when they’re curious about SAT scores and height. It seems to become more about having the “perfect” child instead of just having a child. To each their own I guess…
jeanjeanie
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 02:42 pm: [report]
I have been thinking about dontating my eggs for sometime now. I need some cash and I think it would be a great thing to do. But even though I knwo how sill y this sounds.. I feel like my kid would be running around out there.. even though it wouldn’t really be mine.. In New York you can donate just for stem cell research… I’m down.
amorsalado
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 03:12 pm: [report]
It depends on the individual. My ONLY criteria was that the donor be proven with at least one proven pregnancy. I wanted young and healthy. That’s it. In fact, it was my RE who convinced me that I needed to stay within my own ethnicity, because I don’t give a cr@p about that either. Baby. That’s the end goal.
However, some people care a lot. Some people go so far as to even match blood type. It depends on the person. I suppose it also depends on whether or not you plan to disclose.
Many people do not tell. Not anyone. Not their families, and especially not the child. Many people start telling their child from the second they’re born. There are open donations, and there are completely anonymous donations. Once again, it depends on what everyone involved wants.
amorsalado
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 03:17 pm: [report]
I hit post before I was finished.
I agree with this on many levels. However, a part of me understands it. If you’re not going to disclose, then I can understand the need to pick genetics that are as close to your own as possible.
The height thing though—that actually has a biological factor. If you’re five foot nothing, you don’t want to use the genetics of a woman who is 5’9” simply because you’re not built to carry a child that large.
As for me, as I stated earlier, I didn’t care about anything except young, proven, and healthy. In fact, the person I did end up picking has red hair and blue eyes. As you can see, my hair is dark brown, and my eyes are green. Genetics are only genetics. They don’t matter so much. What matters is having a child.
AnitaBath
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 03:22 pm: [report]
How picky are they on medical history? My uncle and grandpa both had prostate cancer and my dad has heart problems (but only because of his weight). I have a freakishly good immune system though, and have NEVER had anything wrong with me. It seems like if they were too picky, no one would be able to donate.
hlnbabe
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 03:23 pm: [report]
@amorsalado: plus, once that egg meets sperm… the combinations are limitless on what you’ll get.
og217
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 03:23 pm: [report]
I went as far as going to a hospital and starting the paperwork, but chickened out last minute. I’d seen some horror stories on whiny day time TV about children seeking out and finding their sperm and egg donors and the idea of THAT put me off the $10K. I was in college and could definitely use the money, but the idea of some person crashing in on me demanding to meet their “real family” and insisting that they have a right to information or whatever just horrified me. Anonymity is supposedly guaranteed but if someone is very persistent they can and do find you. I wouldn’t want someone knocking on my door and creating some drama. For some reason its now always disclosed to children if they were adopted or alternatively conceived, and most kids naturally have curiosity. With my luck, the kid would show up at the worst possible time and ruin whatever. It seemed like easy cash, and I had some friends do it because white Ivy grads can get big bucks, but it just isn’t for me.
amorsalado
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 03:31 pm: [report]
@AnitaBath: I can only speak for my clinic, obviously, and I don’t know how different ones handle it, but mine is quite picky. They go back three generations, and it’s gotta be clean that far back—no cancer, no diabetes, no mental illnesses, no congenital diseases, no immune issues, etc. etc.
AnitaBath
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 03:34 pm: [report]
@amorsalado: Yikes. That seems like it’d only be about 1% of the population or something.
abbylyn
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 05:07 pm: [report]
@anitabath - I think it depends on the program you go through. I have history of asthma, high blood pressure and skin cancer in my family. However, I’ve never had issues with any of them, and they do an extensive genetic screening to see if you carry the markers for anything they are worried about. Lots of bloodwork and lots of questionnaires are involved.
Anniushka
wrote on January 13 2010 @ 11:07 pm: [report]
Oh, darn. I don’t have a family history of cancer, per se, but my brother had leukemia (the only case of cancer in my family that I can think of, but still… a sibling is as close a relative as you can have, and cancer has a genetic component). I wonder if that would be a problem?
Now that I think of it, actually, I’m not sure I would want to go through genetic screening to become a donor and find out that I have a marker for high cancer risk or something. After seeing what my brother went through and everything… I don’t want that shadow looming over me.
I guess there are a lot of different considerations to take into account when making a decision like whether or not to donate an egg. Hmm.
treehugr
wrote on January 14 2010 @ 03:34 pm: [report]
@amorsalado thank you for sharing your story! I wish you the best of luck! And I appreciate you pointing out the “just” adoption issue. Like i posted above, I was adopted at birth and I know it was NOT an easy road for my adoptive parents.
I also posted that there arent any long-term effects of donating which I’ve just learned isn’t true. Scientifc American published a news brief last month explaining that there is not enough research at the moment to tell the kinds of long-term effects the hormones and procedure in general will have. It may turn out to be more risky than previously thought. AND to all you haters on people engineering babies- the egg donations don’t only go to in vitro procedures, they may also go to stem cell research depending on the clinic you donate to, so you could be helping to cure cancer and other diseases.
Parents Via Egg Donation
wrote on January 17 2010 @ 01:13 pm: [report]
There are so many misconceptions about egg donation as whole. Here are the short and fast facts:
1. @Madge. it’s not genetic sex. Oh please. Sex has zero to do with it. And when you state the rich are designing babies—well that is 1% of the population who embark upon this process. The rest of the population (99% of us) work very hard to make ends meet like the rest of you. We have either borrowed, maxed out our credit cards, wiped out our savings, or again borrowed from our 401k’s to try to create a family.
2. @saysay - Yes, the majority of the recipient mom’s out there look for an egg donor that has similar characteristics. Someone that could fit into our own family. While we realize genetics is a crap shoot—and even if we found our mirror twin physicially it doesn’t mean we will have a child that looks like us. I selected my egg donor on the basis that she and I had so much in common, and we had the same sense of humor, I genuinely liked her, and we connected.
3. For those of you who say—“Just adopt”. You are entitled to your opinions of course, however, it’s not that easy. Adoption isn’t for everyone as much as you might like it to be. Pregnancy is a rite of passage for many women. And it’s really okay for a recipient mom to want to carry her partners child.
4. It’s totally okay to compensate an egg donor for her time, trouble,and let’s face it pain and suffering. Who wants a long needle inserted through the back of the vagina into the ovaries and have eggs sucked out? Umm - not me. I am so grateful that my egg donor went through there for us. And I as perfectly fine with writing her a check for that. She said it was making a nice dent in her student loan. There’s not one thing wrong with egg donors who receive money for this. Regardless, there is a big alturistic component to this. Egg donors genuinely want their recipients to conceive and have children.
5. “The kids are going to show up on my door step one day” - No they aren’t. Not unless you and the recipient parents agree to that and work that out beforehand. And realistically we as recipients understand people and circumstances change over time. You are probably not going to be the same person at 21 as you will be at 41. And really, I am going to be too busy raising my son than worry about meeting my egg donor. Egg donors don’t sign up to be parents, and we are doing this to become parents.
6. “Why do women do this” (have children through egg donation) For lots of reasons. Some of us were born without ovaries, some of us have lost our ovaries to Cancer, or have had Breast Cancer, and the chemo has damaged our eggs. Others have what is known as Premature Ovarian Failure and our eggs are bad, while others of us are going through menopause, or have poor quality eggs for some unknown reason.
The bottom line, we are grateful to our egg donors. Without them we wouldn’t have our children. We hold our egg donors in the highest regard and having nothing but love and respect for them.
And who am I? I am Marna Gatlin, Founder of Parents Via Egg Donation. You can learn about us at ww.pved.org
starless85
wrote on February 4 2010 @ 08:57 pm: [report]
i would most def donate my eggs! there are so many women out there who would love to have a baby and i know there is always adoption, but i know that women want to be able to feel what it is like to be pregnant with a child, to feel the movements.