Debate This: Does It Suck Or Rule To Be A Bridesmaid?

As I’ve written before, I’ve never been a bridesmaid, though I almost was one until my friend’s wedding got canceled on account of the groom being a total d-bag. But, so far, I have three bridesmaids for my totally-unplanned wedding next summer (maybe, you know, if we get our crap together) and I am already wondering if they secretly resent me for choosing them. I just watched 27 Dresses (begrudgingly, at first, but then I loved it) and realized that being a bridesmaid can really, really suck and that bridesmaids’ dresses are never worn again, no matter what anyone says—my favorite line in the movie is when every bride tells Katherine Heigl’s character, “You can shorten it and wear it again!”, to which she always sarcastically replies, “So true.” Anyway, I decided to poll some ladies about their experience as bridesmaids and asked for a final verdict—does being a bridesmaid rule or suck? Their responses after the jump….

IT RULES
“You get to be a ‘special’ guest which is much cooler than just being an average friend of the bride. Also you get to share in a really important day with someone you know and love, and that’s really nice. It’s really an honor, not a chore, so you shouldn’t ever feel like it’s a pain in the ass unless you don’t really know the bride very well. As a bridesmaid, you should do whatever the bride wants and not complain. The bride has a vision for her wedding day, and you gotta go with the flow. Plus, if she’s really your good friend, she’s not going to make you look like a douche on purpose. Unless she secretly loathes you.”—Gillian

“I am always really honored and flattered to be asked to be a bridesmaid. In some cases where I didn’t expect it at all, I’ve been genuinely touched to be asked. So in that sense, it rules. And it’s also fun to be part of all the behind-the-scenes action leading up to the wedding and on the night before and the big day. Makes you feel special and allows you to see your friend in these really exciting or beautiful private moments—getting ready, toasting friends and family, etc.—that a lot of other wedding attendees won’t get to see. But, for the record, it is a myth that there are bridesmaid dresses out there that can be worn again. No such dress exists. I challenge anyone to say honestly that they’ve worn a bridesmaid dress more than once. I’ve worn plenty of simple bridesmaid dresses—neutral colors, flattering A-line cuts, etcetera—that the bride and bridesmaids all celebrated pre-wedding for being the one dress you thought you could wear again. Then, after the wedding, you realize it’s still f**king sateen or whatever, and who the hell dresses like that?” —Maria

“Everyone always complains about having to buy the bridesmaid dresses, but most brides are pretty conscious about trying to keep the cost of the dress down so that it’s not crazy expensive. But often you have to buy a dress to wear to a wedding anyhow, and I spent more on a random dress than the bridesmaids probably spent on theirs. But, it occurred to me that if you’re close enough with the bride to be a bridesmaid, even if you weren’t a bridesmaid, I bet you’d buy a new dress to wear to her wedding.” —Amanda

IT SUCKS
“Sucks.  Especially if you have to help them go to the bathroom drunk.  Or if the groomsmen are douchebags. Or if you have to stand next to the bride during the ceremony. But I hate weddings, so being a bridesmaid is a personal hell. But I swear, I still do all this sh*t with a smile because if it’s important to your friend to have you there, that’s nice.” —Simcha

“Oh gah.  Being a bridesmaid sucks.  Period.  You spend money you don’t have to wear a dress you don’t want!  And alterations cost over $70 most of the time.  Oh, and don’t even get me started on getting your measurements taken…  Once you’re there, it does end up being fun most of the time, but I’d have just as much fun if I attended without the hassle of being in the wedding party.” —Laura

“It really depends on the bride. I have had good and bad experiences as a bridesmaid but mostly bad.  Remember brides, your bridesmaids are your friends and family—not indentured surfs or slaves!” —Dede

UM, BOTH?
“I’m going to go with ‘rule’ and ‘suck.’ It’s nice to
 feel like part of a couple’s inner circle, but the 
expenses and obligations that go along with it can be
 extremely time-consuming and wallet-lightening.” – Veronique

We say: Neither Catherine nor I have been a bridesmaid, so we can’t speak from experience. But I like to think I would consider it an honor. An expensive honor, but an honor nonetheless. And I truly promise not to treat my bridesmaids like slaves. Their only duty is getting me wasted at the bachelorette party. Oh, and for the record, I have proof that a bridesmaid dress CAN be worn again: I just bought a strapless yellow dress from J. Crew’s bridesmaid collection. For myself. To wear this summer. And NOT to any weddings.