Dear Wendy: Guy Wants His Girlfriend To Get A Landing Strip
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
relationships
12:00PM, Wednesday October 21st 2009
I’ve recently started dating a super smart, weird, quirky, cute, funny and beautiful girl. I never like anyone, but I like her. There’s one minor (hairy) issue. She doesn’t keep things very trimmed down there. Now, before you get angry, let me preface this by saying that I really don’t need a Brazilian on my girl (or even anything really from the South American continent, for that matter)—just a nice landing strip. Is that too much to ask for? Those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, so I do keep my things regularly trimmed. We’ve only been dating for a month or so, but we’ve spent a lot of time together (it’s a long distance thing, so we’ve basically spent the past few weekends totally together = relationship time warp), so I feel as if this isn’t jumping the gun or anything to think about long term personal grooming habits. am I being a superficial douche? Isn’t it fair to ask for some quid pro quo trimming? I think yes. If you agree, my ultimate question is: how do I broach the trimming subject with my long distance girl? What strategies do you have? — Hair Hater
First of all, a “nice landing strip” isn’t exactly the same thing as keeping things “nicely trimmed.” Do you want your new “super smart, weird, quirky, cute, funny and beautiful” girlfriend to be well-groomed or to look like a porn star? A landing strip requires a little more maintenance than the regular trimming you do on yourself. The kind of landing strip style you see in magazines and movies usually requires regular waxing, which is both expensive and painful (not to mention time-consuming).
How important is this “one minor issue” to you? If it’s a matter of making your girlfriend “perfect,” keep in mind, she’s human and no matter how close to perfection she seems this early in your relationship (and yes, a month, no matter how much of a “time warp” you feel like you’re in, is still very early in a relationship), putting her on a pedestal pretty much guarantees she — and the relationship — will disappoint you. You may get her to trim things now, but eventually it’ll be another issue that keeps her from being perfect in your eyes. So, pick your battles, and allow that your girlfriend, like you and everyone else, isn’t supposed to be flawless.
If this issue is indeed minor and you’re still attracted to her and able to enjoy, say, performing oral sex, I say let it go a while and appreciate all the many qualities you do like about her. Maybe a few months down the road when you’ve developed more trust and more history together, you can casually mention that you’d like to see how she looks with a little trim down there. If, however, her bush is a wild, untamed beast and it’s keeping you from fully enjoying intimacy with her, then, yes, you can very subtly and very carefully tiptoe around the idea of her getting a trim.
How do you bring it up, you ask? Well, not when she’s naked or in any other vulnerable state. Since you’re long-distance, I’d take advantage of the phone. The next time one of your phone chats steers a little towards the sexy side (and don’t be afraid to take the wheel to get it there), ask if she’s ever experimented with different pubic hair styles. Wait for her verbal cues. If you get a positive response, tell her you think she’d look really cute with shorter hair. It’s important to keep this light and flirtatious! Remember, you’re not placing demands on her — you’re merely making flirty suggestions. I’d refrain from using the term “landing strip,” though, unless you don’t mind the idea of never having sex with her again.
*Do you have a relationship/dating question I can help with? Send me your letters at dearwendy@thefrisky.com.
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
_jsw_
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:35 am: [report]
Hmm. I hope you work this one out, Hair Hater, as that would be the single dumbest reason to break up with someone ever otherwise.
Well, OK, there have been a lot of dumb reasons, but this would would rank near the top.
I agree that the subject should be broached, if at all, in a light way and not during naked time. You might even ask her if she wants to trim you - even though that would involve naked time, she wouldn’t need to be. But I’d never make a big deal about it.
And if she agrees to it, I think you should buy her the trimmer. Pick a nice one.
lindseylee21
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:42 am: [report]
Definitely bring it up, carefully, and definitely not during zexy time!!! I had a guy say to me years ago “Hey you should try just shaving it all off!” I wasn’t horrified or anything, but I was like “Omg if I want to keep getting naked with him then I better try it!” I did and I have NEVER gone back. I’m so glad he said that!!! lol Hopefully she’ll have a sense of humor about it too.
Lynn
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:43 am: [report]
Yeah…a landing strip might as well be a brazilian for the amount of money/pain/time/effort it requires. This guy needs to learn what’s what.
When I think of “keeping it tidy” I think that means shaving as much as you would need to in order to keep hair from peeking out around regular bikini bottoms. Personally I usually keep myself bare, but that’s a preference and I don’t think I should be *expected* to do that. It matters what my BF thinks in the same way that it matters for the hair on my head - I like to know what he likes, but I’m not his dress up doll and I’ll pretty much do what I like so any attempt to make anything other than a flirty suggestion will not be taken very well. As long as everything is hygenic, it’s my business what I do with any hair on my body.
Jenn27549
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 11:48 am: [report]
I kind of have to go the other direction here. I think its very important, and girls who don’t realize the courteous aspects of keeping “her” hair under control if you expect/receive oral sex (esp if the guy is doing his grooming) are either very dense or self-absorbed and selfish in bed. It doesn’t have anything to do with feminism or looking like a porn star, etc… If you don’t like licking hair, assume they don’t either. Period. I always kept things neat and tidy, but refused to go any further for a guy based on personal preferences. But once I tried for my husband as an anniversary gift it really wasn’t so bad and now I keep things even lighter down there on a regular basis. FWIW waxing DOES NOT hurt and is not that expensive compared to shaving regularly. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t feel GOOD, but to whine, cry and complain about it is a little much unless you have very sensitive skin.
Queen Frostine
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:03 pm: [report]
Well, to be fair Jenn, everyone has different pain thresholds.
My thoughts are 1) one month into a LDR is too soon to be making requests, 2) it’s just pubic hair, it grows back. So why not try a variety of styles just to see if you’d like anything different. There are many other options between full bush and landing strip. 3) Maybe bring it up as a sort of sexual fantasy. “I’ve always wondered what it would feel like on a woman…” That way it doesn’t come across as a criticism on her grooming habits.
sadie
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:09 pm: [report]
Agree with Jenn27549. I don’t care for a wild unruly bush on a guy and I wouldn’t expect to subject my partner to one. I don’t even like it on myself any way. That said, you can maintain a landing strip with regular shaves. Use a good quality men’s razor and shaving gel, they’re made for keeping determined body hair at bay and really do away with the irritation cheapo lady razors usually cause. Gillette Fusion is very good. Tend Skin is also a good post-shave tonic for getting rid of bumps and irritation.
tttongue_tied
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:52 pm: [report]
Woah, was it just me or did the response to this note sound a little “you can’t demand this of her!” in the beginning? I agree with the guy, he seems like he genuinely likes her but just wishes he wasn’t eating pubes half the time. If you keep trim for her, she can keep up maintenance for you. (Unless, of course, you bring it up and she gushes how she wished you didn’t tidy instead. Because that would be a backfire and a clear signal you are dating a hippie. Not that there’s anything wrong with hippies.)
MuchoMacho
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 12:52 pm: [report]
bring back the 70’s porn wide bush!!!
danila
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 01:14 pm: [report]
I’m a lil more open than most. I think you could turn this into something sexually fun and exciting. He should offer to do it for her. Then praise his work.
cooldad
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 01:31 pm: [report]
As my son would say, “wah” - meaning get over it, stop whining. It’s really no big deal going down on someone au natural. You’re doing it for their pleasure, not yours, and seeing them curl their toes should be good enough. Seems like it opens the door to unnecessarily commenting on various aspects of each other (glasses, haircut, clothes, friends,etc) at an early stage in a relationship
bethlynn00
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 02:44 pm: [report]
I always make it very clear to guys, before we have sex, that I don’t do the waxing/shaving, I like to keep it all natural and if they don’t like it, then they probably shouldn’t have sex with me, cause I’m not going to change. I also have a rule that in order to get head you have to give, so far I have never had a guy turn down sex over my bush…gotta love Midwestern men and their affinity for hairy women! Seriously, it’s just hair, get over it!
develange
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 03:34 pm: [report]
haha. I agree with the “get over it” outlook, after years of shaving and eventually waxing.
I don’t get why people think that unless you have a Brazilian, you’re going to get all this hair stuck in your mouth. If you’re focusing on the inner labia and the clit, shouldn’t be an issue.
I’m not opposed to going hairless or landing strip occasionally. Hygiene, trimming, and some shaving are a constant. But it’s a turn off for me if a guy thinks ANY amount of hair down there is hazardous to his mouth.
But if this is a big deal for this guy, then, he could always offer to pay for the first few waxings, since those are usually the most unpleasant.
fallonthecity
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 07:36 pm: [report]
I’m on the “get over it” boat. If she’s not hygienic, that’s one thing, but I think it may be a little much to ask someone to change their appearance based on your own preferences. Wendy’s advice is spot on.
Jenn27549
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 07:42 pm: [report]
Yeah, everyone has different pain thresholds, but women are made to have babies. It doesn’t hurt more than having a baby. The first one or two might sting, but after that the chemicals kick in and with a little determination and focus you can get past it. All physical pain is like that. I think shaving down there is extremely uncomfortable and no matter what razor or other products I use I always get bumps, and its itchy when it grows back, even a little bit. For some reason it doesn’t itch when it grows back after a wax. Its tender for one day then you’re good to go for 1-2 months. Much, much preferred.
But regardless of the method I guess its personal preference. If you don’t mind hair and your SO doesn’t mind hair and you have discussed it (or are just going for it with no complaints) then good. But if one person doesn’t enjoy it then it needs to be addressed. @develange it isn’t always the hair below that can be a problem, the hair up top can get in your face if there’s enough of it, depending on how he has to position himself. The first few guys I was intimate with were “groomers” so I didn’t know guys could have big, wild foliage like women! The first time I saw an ungroomed one I didn’t want to go near it!! Not with my face anyway…
Gingee
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 08:03 pm: [report]
This guy belongs in the category of: Yesterday’s news.
He wants this new gal to change this one thing for him. Pfff.
What about HER preferences? It is her body, if she wants to do that landing strip because she likes it, mo big.
This is a Month Only fling anyway. After they’ve been together 5 years, then he can make a request, open his wallet to pay for it, it,
and be prepared to change something about himself.
Deal breaker: Any guy this nitpicky is one ya don’t need.
k_roja
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 08:14 pm: [report]
Sorry, but I’m a redhead, and I outright refuse to shave/wax my stuff totally. The shaving/waxing I’ve done to my bikini area has totally changed the *color* of my hair down yonder, and I don’t want that to happen to the rest of it! I’m too proud to become the rest of the population!
Sorry folks, but you’re gonna have to learn to love my neatly-trimmed fiery nest of love!
Unohoo
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 08:25 pm: [report]
I think suggest it.. but be prepared for her response to be “sure - you first”..
Antiaphelia
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 09:45 pm: [report]
I hate it when my S-O trims. I find it prickly. I don’t expect him to wax (especially since I don’t want him to).
My opinion is that if the person keeps clean, there should be no expectation or need for waxing.
vaiaster
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 10:35 pm: [report]
I agree with fallonthecity and Antiaphelia.
It’s her body, if she’d like to take care of the hairs, then she should, but no man (boyfriend, fiance’ or future husband) should tell her how or when to groom.
og217
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 12:32 am: [report]
This is ridiculous. Its her body, fine. Then she can go down on herself. I think chomping on clumps of soggy hair is disgusting, too. Who exactly likes that? Sex is supposed to be fun for both parties, not some vile chore for one and fun for the other. And I also don’t see how a massive bush is NOT a hygeine issue. Hair traps heat, moisture, bacteria, skin cells, vaginal excretions and odor. You can shower every and still smell and be more damp down there than someone who isn’t hiding a small animal in their panties. He likes the girl and he wants to enjoy sex. I don’t understand anyone who suggests that they guy just “suck it up, its for her pleasure, not his.” Um, huh?
Bee Mee
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 02:57 am: [report]
In addition to protecting the pubic bone and protection of the skin from chafing, pubic hair is the first line of defense for the reproductive organs from odor causing bacteria, yeast infections, etc.
Sex isn’t so much fun for both if one party gets the neverending cycle a scorching vag from the hot wax and the ripping out of thousands of hairs, broken skin downtown, painful ingrown hairs, or from an unfortunate slip of the razor in the shower (been there, done that, recovery not fun). And no, I don’t sense at all that this guy wants her to keep at minimum trimmed back for “hygiene.” He mentioned a landing strip specifically.
Sure, he could ask this woman to maintain a landing strip. But he can also decide to suck it up or move on. After all, she may not be open to his suggestion, and his scissor trim is hardly the equivalent of her keeping up a landing strip. But there is still another option. He can go blow himself. If he’s flexible enough, he might find it convenient, enjoyable and hair free (or hair lite).
In the future, he needs to ask all potential sex partners what their hair preference is, and stick with his “type.” I’m sure there’s a beautiful, smart, funny, quirky girl with landing strip out there just waiting for him, though that needle in the “haystack” might be hard to spot initially.
og217
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 03:25 am: [report]
I think in this day and age, women groom themselves, as do lots of men. “Being yourself” is farting and picking your nose, and you can be “who you are” without degenerating into a hot mess of a cavewoman.
duranimal
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 05:11 am: [report]
Two words- electric trimmer. No shaving cuts, no waxing, no fuss- just weed-whack the “forest” and you’re done.
Visolela
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 06:12 am: [report]
Her body her choice and all that. But lets be perfectly honest here - there are things about our SO’s that we’ve slightly wished to change or pet peeves that were silly but we couldn’t stand, and what things haven’t we been willing to at least try in order to please an SO? There also is a limit, and this sounds like a time for compromise. Settle for a scissor trim instead of a landing strip, suggest a trim trade off. Demonstrates great TRUST to allow someone else near your parts with a sharp set of scissors (use new small ones btw that you save just for this purpose). Compliment the results, mention how much a turn on it is and over time if she has nothing against it, she might even try more just to see him panting. Something so easy to get him spinning? Why not?
Crys
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 06:47 am: [report]
Maybe he should stop shaving his face if it’s that much of a problem for her. I agree w/the guy who talked about how pubic hair holds onto sweat/bacteria/vaginal secretions, etc so even if she does shower every day…it’s still not as “fresh” as someone w/less or no hair. And as for pubes being the first line of defense…sure they are. But it’s not exactly an area that’s exposed to the whole world on a regular basis…and yeast infections are caused by chemical imbalances, etc and trapped heat and moisture…so maybe he should ask her to stop wearing panties to bed too? Lol…but who really wears undergarments to bed?
Fast Eddie
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 07:50 am: [report]
I’ve had a couple of women that had an inch thick rug and it would inhibit me for a long term relationship, but it didn’t spoil the moment. You said “I keep it trimmed”. Maybe shaving your own would spark a dialogue about how it feels to have bare skin to bare skin down there.
_jsw_
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 08:02 am: [report]
Oh, good grief. Yes, it’s something couples should discuss if one of them feels strongly about it - although I think the relationship is far too new to call them a “couple”. Yes, it’s nice to please your partner. Yes, it’s not a big deal to trim. And it’s easy to do.
But good god, people. It’s pubic hair. People are so used to it being trimmed or gone that they now think it’s obscene to have it. “Oh, it’s so horrible going down when she doesn’t wax.” But it’s not that bad. This is all a relatively recent phenomenon, and people were just fine with it recently. I totally agree that trimming is better. But I just can’t see the big deal at all about it.
MuchoMacho
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 08:32 am: [report]
@roja - right on red!
agree with og217. its her body. and its his libido. if genitals looks unappealing to me, i wouldnt go down on them. if she preferred to have the full bush than oral sex, thats on her. now for me personally, im into the hair. but many are not.
Crys
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 12:06 pm: [report]
I wouldn’t even WANT a guy to go down on me if he weren’t enjoying it! If I ever found out that my guy had been doing it for however long and he not only didn’t like it but that he was turned off for one reason or another I would be horrified, embarrassed and just devastated! People are arguing that it’s her body and she shouldn’t have to change it to please him and for extreme things like surgical stuff or what have you, I agree…but do those people shave their legs/face/under arms? Or wear make up? Or lingere? Unless she has a specific reason for not, then why not? It doesn’t hurt, razor’s aren’t crazy expensive and it’s not a permanent procedure… We all do things we don’t always enjoy to make ourselves more attractive to others (God know’s I would love to just cut off my hair and be done w/it).
cfreeman191
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 02:15 pm: [report]
as one of the what seems to be very few guys on here, i comment gingerly, and try not to step on anyone’s toes….but….
i agree it may be a bit soon to ask, and i agree the flirty way of asking may be the way to go. hairhater, you should know this girl the best out of everyone on this board, so you should know the best way to bring it up.
any relationship is built on a lot of things, including communication and compromise. if you don’t communicate from the start, it will only get worse. i dont think its wrong for any guy to want a girl to trim any certain way, just like I don’t think its wrong for a girl to want a guy any certain way.
i personally don’t define myself by my ‘pubes, so if my gf wanted it shaved, then gimme a razor, natural, fine with me too. maybe im the only one that wouldn’t take it so personally, but to each their own.
all im saying, is if it bothers you, bring it up nicely, if you can live with it, then don’t.
Taurwen
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 08:00 pm: [report]
I have to say, there didn’t seem like much of a difference but if anything, it smells more and seems (slightly!) less unclean when I am completely shaved as oppose to going completely natural. And that makes sense to me, the hair is there for a reason after all. I don’t understand this “As long as it’s hygienic”, completely natural has never seemed unhygienic. Not that I do the natural look very often, but still.
Pi
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 11:32 pm: [report]
shave it yourself… it’s awesome foreplay!
og217
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 11:59 pm: [report]
As another point to the whole “its natural and only now do men have a problem with it.” I think, and have no data to back me up, but just think, that until fairly recently women’s hairy vaginas were not an issue because oral sex was not an issue. Most men would not dream of doing something like that and it wasn’t like women would demand it. Sex and relationships were not for pleaseure, certainly not for the women, so oral sex was unlikely on the menu, or maybe not as frequent and expected as now? Also, people took annual baths, ANNUAL! so a liitle hair and a bit of extra smell was a non issue if you realize that EVERYONE smelled like an NYC honeless person. But as the standards of hygeine and smells have risen, and women’s expectations have risen, well, here we are. Pubic hair has an evolutionary reason, but I think most women can safely assume they won’t be getting kicked in the groin any time soon and let go of their protective fur.
PS i am not a guy, lol.
TheUnusualSuspect
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 04:12 am: [report]
Seriously? This is what people in relationships complain about?
Life has thrown him a wonderful surprise party, and he’s complaining that the icing flowers on the cake are the wrong shade of blue? It would serve him right if after he told her, she would confess to him that she wishes he were not so shallow, or that she could never spend her whole life with a guy whose eyes were the wrong shade of blue.
@_jsw_
Actually, this one is much closer to the bottom. (I’ll be here all week, folks!)
leafsfan68
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 05:04 am: [report]
Hmmm, this is so odd. As a women in her 40’s maybe I have a different perspective on this. In my 20’s very few women were going beyond the bikini line shave. Yet somehow men were still enjoying giving oral sex. Hygiene is obviously key - no one wants to be with someone who isn’t clean.
Personally I’ve run the gamut from bikini shaving to full Brazilian waxing, and just about everything in between. Shaving is horrible, what with the itch, rashes, bumps, ingrown hairs. Waxing - is painful. (And yes - I’ve had a baby, five tattoos, and numerous piercings - I know pain. Waxing is one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever had. And that’s from a variety of spas, with different methods. They all hurt.)
I can’t imagine this being something that would make or break a relationship. I’ve never been with any man who expressed a preference in any direction with this - maybe cause the men I date are older? They grew up in a time when all women had hair? If you’ve found this awesome person, you’d really have to think about how much this is worth to you. Bottom line - she’s the one who has to go through the pain, cost, time, and aggravation.
bettyboo
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 05:46 am: [report]
@ og217 - you seriously think oral sex is a modern invention and that the whole of human history before the mid 20th century was women ‘lieing back and thinking of England’ (or US, or whatever) whilst the husband fulfilled his base need and attempted to impregnate her???!! If this was the case we’d have been extinct millenia ago! When a woman is aroused, and especially when she’s fertile the vagina releases scents and pheromones which have evolved especially to entice men to want to mate with her so, given those scents are perceived via the nose, horny guys since the beginning of time will have been wanting to stick their face in there.. the hair is there to catch the scent and i’m guessing would also help dissipate it (larger surface area for evaporation and as the woman (or man, testicles defintely have a sexy musky smell) moves the hair will help waft the scent about.. and as for hygiene.. if you go to the loo whilst squatting, as humans would have done through most of history, rather than being sat on a seat, the lips are naturally pulled apart so urine is far less likely to get caught on the hairs.. and finally, not having regular baths, does not mean no regular washes.. a bowl or water and a cloth, ideally with some detergent ( soap would either be made with animal fat and ashes, or some plants, eg I think soapwort, contain saponins and could be used) is all that’s required to keep you smelling pretty clean.. the one bath a year thing is trotted out to allow us to feel superior to our uncivilised ancestors..
bettyboo
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 05:55 am: [report]
oh, and on the actual question… he should approach it VERY carefully.. say how sexy he thinks it will be rather than how unsexy he find it now.. I’ve been in this situation, I much prefer mine as a (naturally neat) curly bush, and when one guy i went out with a few years ago refused to go down there unless I shaved, I figured if he wasn’t passionate about eating me (as he evidentally wasn’t if he had conditions before he would) then even if i did as he asked he wasn’t exactly going to be keen on it (I’ve no interest in someone going down there to be dutiful, you can tell if their hearts not it) and that was a big turn off for me as it made me feel less attractive to him and the relationship ended shortly after…
LJD
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 08:33 am: [report]
Love Wendy’s answer about keeping things light and flirtatious over the phone.
But if that doesn’t work, buy your girl the book SuperSex by Tracey Cox - as Cox clearly explains that men are so turned on by women who keep themselves trimmed.
Who in the hell still has a bush? If this girl is really into you, then she’ll be glad to do anything for you to keep things spicy and hot in bed. It’s all about your ‘delivery’.
If you approach it right, you’ll have her trimmed and sexy in no time
Lynn
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 11:58 am: [report]
@ Crys - *plenty* of women don’t wear makeup or lingerie (and of course less women don’t shave their legs/pits but that’s OK too). It doesn’t mean they can’t be attractive just because they don’t have an interest in those things. If your BF told you that he didn’t like pants would you immediately throw away every single pair you own? I would hope not. If you were dressing up for him it would make sense to keep that in mind while you were getting ready, but it would be insane to totally get rid of things you like on yourself just because he likes something else. If you always mold to what someone else likes, who are YOU?
@ cfreeman191 - I agree that it’s not wrong for anyone to have a preference, but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth when a man *expects* his woman to alter herself for his preferences. I have preferences myself - I love beards and I love when my guy has one. And he knows I like it, but right now he’s sporting a clean-shaven face. And that’s fine. It’s not his responsibility to live up to how I want him to look. He’s not my Barbie.
Perceptible
wrote on October 23 2009 @ 12:15 pm: [report]
Maybe he can offer her a VJJ visor (http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-your-vajayjays-first-protective-shield/) so she can trim safely.
Truly tho, after getting the Schick Quattro Trim Style (funny commercials, awesome product!) I can clearly see the advantage to a few “visors.” I like a close trim but you’ve got to be careful! A little slip could definitely derail sexy time.
If he got her one, do you think she’d be offended? Maybe this girl would be totally open to a little trim. I mean, she is “super smart, weird, quirky, cute, funny and beautiful.” What a catch! But I guess a little extra fur negates all those adjectives, huh?
majicksand
wrote on October 24 2009 @ 09:28 am: [report]
Make it into a spa treatment. Set everything up ahead of time then invite her to your place. Roleplay as the sexy massage therapist with benefits. Candles, soft music, hot oils, massage… By the time you get to the “complimentary trim” that will obviously lead to sexy-time, she is highly unlikely to object to anything.
River
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 01:14 pm: [report]
og217- Go read the poetry of the Roman Catullus and then tell me whether or not oral sex was on the menu in the first century, BC. Greeks did it, Romans did it, Egyptians did it; people did it in the “Dark” ages, the Medieval and Renaissance periods, Regency, Victorian, and Modern day, as well. While it may not have had the same sense of normalcy as it does today and the connotation of performing the act of oral sex may have changed from that of being the dominated/unclean/courtesan/mistress to… well, we won’t go into that here… whatever it is seen as today, saying that oral sex is a new phenomenon is not supported by history.
MuchoMacho
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 01:32 pm: [report]
someone wrote a book about how all men like trimmed bushes? the author lied.
friendo
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 04:52 pm: [report]
...not to spin this in a different direction - but maybe this is the subtext to the story -
my ladyfriend not only has a hairy bush, but it tastes and smells of urine (sometimes). I like her, but it is getting in the way of my attraction to her. It happened to me with another ex, and it definitely contributed to the break up. It’s a matter of respecting me, too, right? - and our common interest in one another….But I’m a little hesitant to suggest the one-two punch - AND I WOULD NOT PHRASE IT THIS WAY - but: “I’d like you to trim your vagina hair because it retains the smell of urine, and it makes me not want to go near you.” - I mean, what should I do? Casually suggest we shower together before sex - every time? How can one spin it so that the “hint” is gotten? I’m more concerned about the smell, but I’d love it if she trimmed, too. She’s a very sensitive person, but it is hurting my attraction to her. Does anyone have any sensitive suggestions on how best to address this?
sjms
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 05:26 pm: [report]
Most of the women I’ve been with have been slightly trimmed or neatly trimmed. I’ve never been with a woman who went Brazilian, but I definitely wouldn’t have a problem with that
Sometimes things need to be trimmed back to a neat square or a landing strip if she likes wearing thongs. I’ll admit that I’m not a huge fan of the stereotypical 70s bush if she’s really hairy, but it’s not a show stopper and I wouldn’t to try to force someone to do something they’re not comfortable doing. I trim around the tree and do some basic manscaping out of preference and I’m sure many other guys do too, plus some women like it.
majicksand
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 12:40 pm: [report]
Just to update… My husband and I took some private time over the weekend (no kids) and planned a few special things. As part of the festivities, I bought a nice electric trimmer. I handed it to him and told him that since he’s the only one seeing it, it ought to look the way he wants it to. Besides, I’m hoping that an electric trimmer will result in less in-grown hairs than a razor. He was nervous at first, but once he got into it, he became a freakin’ artist. When I asked him later how he liked that, he was all smiles. When I told him that next time it was his turn, he readily agreed.
Lynn
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 01:19 pm: [report]
@ majicksand - I don’t know, I think it would be pretty easy to see through that ruse. If my guy offered me a “spa day” with a massage, etc. I’d be delighted. If he ended it by doing anything that was an attempt to change how I look, I would be offended and I would be even angrier that he thought he could get away with it. Then I’d feel like he thought I was ugly AND stupid. Bad combo.
@friendo - I don’t know if you want to go this route, because it might mean some initial sacrifice on your part, but next time she wants to go down on you, push her away and say that after a long day, you don’t want her down there without having a chance to shower first or something. You won’t get the blowjob that time…but I bet she’d remember how you feel and start showering herself before a date, etc. Like if you started making out with someone and she said “oh no, I feel too gross, let me brush my teeth first” you might think she was a bit of a clean freak, but I bet you’d start brushing your teeth before making a move next time, right?
SouthOC
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 10:27 am: [report]
I’m in the “neatly trimmed” camp for both genders...
All of the waxing and sculpting just seems frivolous to me.
That being said, doing special favors for your SO, and having fun is the spice of life. But no one should feel compelled to do something they aren’t comfortable with.
irishballerina
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 10:50 pm: [report]
I thinks its ok to bring it up gently with your partner if its an issue…however its also that persons decision what they do.. and if its that big of a deal there are plenty of people out there who love going bald eagle style!
Oh and by the way…I have tried the whole “let your partner shave you for foreplay” deal and it was a big F-ing mistake!!!! Even electric razors can cut my friends….(shudders) Be very careful
smh
wrote on November 11 2009 @ 05:48 pm: [report]
@Jenn27549 - if that is your fancy then fine for you - wax on wax off and best of luck. It is not for everyone.
There is no one standard. It is a bit early on to make demands and how he approaches it is key. How would he like her to approach him if the situation were reverse?
Remember the relationship is about the person i.e. the feelings, etc. not just the exterior i.e. the drapes and the trim.