Dealbreaker: The Manorexic
Posted by: Natalie Krinsky | Filed in: Guys
7:00AM, Sunday September 07th 2008
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There are so many things involved in attraction. From clothing to chemistry, a never-ending list of items can be turn-offs. But sometimes differences are a turn-on, from magnets to men, you know what they say: opposites attract. Still, some things are so repellent, they’re deal breakers.
I truly believe that the number one reason to get a boyfriend is to let yourself go. Not like “let yourself go” in a Britney kind of way – that’s scary – but let yourself go in a “let’s get a little fat together” kind of way. You get to do things in a couple that you don’t get to do when you’re single. Like get popcorn at the movies. Or spend an entire day drinking beer and eating buffalo wings any time between, I don’t know, September and January (football season). Good, wholesome, highly caloric activities that involve a lot of sitting. That’s high quality couple time.
It is with this mentality that I enter most relationships – which is why when I began dating a Manorexic, I quickly recognized the symptoms and got the eff out of there. My Manorexic—let’s call him Craig (as in Jenny)—seemed great. He was smart, handsome, gainfully employed, drank in moderation, and still had both balls – I was sold.
Things took a turn for the worse, though, on our first dinner date. While trying to fatten me up like Hansel and Gretel, Craig stuck to salad – and when he was ordering he uttered those dreaded words, “dressing on the side.” I almost had a coronary. He also forced me to taste his dry lettuce salad and insisted that I order dessert – which he didn’t touch.
Several more dates revealed my worst fears to be true. Craig was a full blown Manorexic and there was nothing I could do about it. Thus, to save my sisters from a similar fate, I’ve compiled a list – the top five signs you are dating a Manorexic. Read ‘em and eat.
- He considers a smoothie to be a meal or a meal substitute.
- He wants to walk everywhere. This is a patented Manorexic trick. It is undercover calorie burning and it’s evil. The first time Craig proposed we “walk home” after a night out, I lauded his thoughtful romanticism. But the six subsequent times, I knew he just wanted to get in those 10,000 steps a day. Plus, I don’t know about you, but my walk home at 3 a.m. is more of a “stumble” than a stride.
- He shows you a picture on your first date of what he “used to look like.” That’s right. Craig, at one point, came it at a whopping deuce and a half, and insisted on whipping out his driver’s license to prove it. Mazel Tov on the weight loss, but when you’re on a first date, you best be sending the hottest version of you. And the best version of you did not used to be fat. Dude, my breasts aren’t this big and my skin isn’t this perfect—but save it for date two.
- He uses words like “carb” and “trans fat.” Craig once told me that “abs are made in the kitchen.” Yeah, well so is cheesecake.
- When you’re both hung over and you order a hamburger while he gets egg whites and fruit—and eyes your plate enviously.
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atlgirl
[report]wrote on March 17 2008 @ 07:37 pm:
Call me shallow, but I’d rather date a fit, trim manorexic than a dough boy.
Elle
[report]wrote on March 17 2008 @ 07:59 pm:
I don’t think anyone should starve themselves, but I don’t think you should let yourself go either. I’m probably not the best person to comment on this since I affectionately dubbed my ex ‘manatee’.
comment
[report]wrote on March 18 2008 @ 08:01 pm:
I hate it when men watch their weight.
Bring on the fatasses.
Friskymama
[report]wrote on March 28 2008 @ 11:12 am:
What really irks me is if their body is better than mine.
Slainna
[report]wrote on April 15 2008 @ 07:39 pm:
A lot of those habits are actually healthy, and I practice some of them myself. He’s probably trying to make sure he doesn’t end up a greaseball with heart trouble later in life like most of the men I know will. Oh, and when made with frozen fruit and fortified protein powder, smoothies are a great meal substitute.
Also, that man in the picture looks like my fiance, cept less hairy! I laughed out loud.
Simcha
[report]wrote on May 05 2008 @ 11:37 pm:
I just accused a guy of being a manorexic...I think that was a deal breaker in and of itself.
Oliveira
[report]wrote on September 07 2008 @ 08:09 am:
Why the repost?
Amelia
[report]wrote on September 07 2008 @ 08:48 am:
@Oliveira Sometimes on the weekend we’re going to repost stories that were really popular so that new Frisky readers can see them.
MissChaotic
[report]wrote on September 07 2008 @ 11:37 pm:
lmao!
Rachel
[report]wrote on September 09 2008 @ 09:41 am:
Notice how women are expected to act like this, but the second a man does, it’s a total “deal breaker.”
Alabama
[report]wrote on September 09 2008 @ 11:29 am:
Oh, I have no use for girls who act like this either!
Terry
[report]wrote on September 11 2008 @ 10:08 pm:
That whole thing makes me feel uneasy for one after a certain weight it becomes difficult for me to breathe.
I think these are psychological issues at work here that need to examined.
Jacqueline
[report]wrote on September 15 2008 @ 01:53 pm:
Ugh, i dated a manorexic that would order huge platefuls of food and then pick at it. At first I thought it was nerves, but after the first 10 dates and 10 “I don’t know, i’m just not that hungry,” I was completely turned off and grossed out. The worst part was he was like Mischa Barton - one of those fat, skinny people. He once told me his lunch consisted of 10 peanut M&Ms;...so lame…
WatchingHerGrow
[report]wrote on September 15 2008 @ 02:14 pm:
I wonder how widespread this “I want a boyfriend so I can let myself go” really is? Could this be the secret perpetuator of the age old practice of the trade in program? If there were a solution to this problem, we might end dumping fat girls for forever....of course the diet industry would crash from lack of women wishing they were thinner so they could catch another boyfriend and then start eating again.....
Nena
[report]wrote on September 20 2008 @ 11:48 pm:
I would refer the guy to a therapist.
tilepusher
[report]wrote on September 21 2008 @ 04:00 am:
You ladies need to meet me...... HA!
Run41
[report]wrote on November 18 2008 @ 10:34 pm:
This sounds like nothing more than waistline envy. If it hurts your body-image that easily, your encounters with “manorexics” were doomed from the beginning.
And so it continues...the ongoing effort to lessen standards so the mediocre can feel at place among those of us that care about our personal development and a healthy life.
Please let yourselves go...heart disease is soooo sexy.