Dealbreaker: The Guy Who Hated Dogs

Chelle
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 11:13 am: [report]

My boyfriend says he hates dogs but when he sees them he pets them and is friendly to them. He even says we can have a dog when we buy a house and have a yard. It would just have to be an outside dog. That guy Greg just sounds like mean person in general.

Amelia
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 11:21 am: [report]

The dude I’m dating is allergic to my dog. We’re trying to work around it though.

Alison Wonderland
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 12:11 pm: [report]

My boyfriend’s family has a dog. They lavish attention on her to a degree that’s completely obnoxious. We’ll be on the phone and he’ll walk in his house and launch into baby-talk hellos to the dog while I fight the urge to hang up on him. When I’m there he asks me why I hate his dog. I don’t hate her, I’m just not that fond of her.(2 prior ex-bfs had dogs that I adored, so we can rule out the ‘not a dog person’ thing.)

So I guess the trick is balance. Kind of like etiquette in general. You know the rule that the person you are with should take importance over other people you might run into. In this case, the human you are with should get the majority of your attention. (But Greg does just sound like an ass to hell with him.)

vanya
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 01:28 pm: [report]

I had 1 date with a man who hated dogs, years ago.  Not just dogs, he hated all animals.  Hated them.  “Hate, really?” I asked during the pre-dinner cocktail.  He revealed that he had to continuously fight back the urge to kick any dog/cat/animal he saw.  Each day, every day.  I left before dinner, leaving him some cash to reimburse him for the drink, and asked him not to call me again.  Anyone who has to fight the urge to inflict violence on an animal for doing nothing but existing is NOT someone I wanted in my life, whether long-term or short-term.  *Shudder*

MsLiberal
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 03:01 pm: [report]

Allergy shots work wonders in general, and for those willing to make the commitment to the treatment and the relationship.  (I received them for 12 years)

Both of my last two ex’s families not only didn’t have pets, but didn’t “particularly care” for them.  I think dislike of animals is a HUGE HUGE HUGE indicator of how people act. Turns out the first ex’s parents were emotionally distant, and the second one’s were manipulative, rude, racist, selfish, and just plain evil (wrapped in a pseudo-nice midwestern exterior). First ex (dated 3 yrs) had 4 cats, second ex (2.5 yrs) adopted a dog with me in 2007 and dumped us in Nov.

Pets are THAT important. And I also won’t date anyone who hunts animals or keeps them outdoors.

Abarita
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 03:29 pm: [report]

my boyfriend says he doesn’t like small dogs (i have a yorkie/maltese) but when he comes home from work who does he give kisses to first?  yes, that’s right, my dog! perhaps if i got down on all fours…hmm

Lynn
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 04:06 pm: [report]

Well, if a guy didn’t like dogs I just couldn’t date him. I mean, if he didn’t like coming over to my house, what kind of relationship would that be? And if my doggy didn’t like it when he came over, I’d be stressed out for her. My dog adores my BF and it warms my heart every time they play together. Totally outside of what it says about a person (because my dad really doesn’t like dogs or cats either, and I obviously still love him), it just wouldn’t work for *me* because I have a dog now and always intend to.

Abarita - is that your dog in the photo? It doesn’t sound like it from your description, but either way that dog is ADORABLE.

ChoJinn
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 08:18 pm: [report]

First, I am an animal lover.  I think the disdain many men have for dogs, or at least dogs owned by women they are dating, is derived from 1) the attention a dog takes away from him; 2) the basically unavoidable being licked/shed upon; and 3) how the dog is probably going to be in bed with the two of you, whether you like it or not.  If women treated dogs like dogs, and not psuedo children, men wouldn’t gripe so much.  Also, even the small ones smell.

I understand that many women do not treasure the concept of living alone, and that owning a dog wold provide some sort of companionship.  However, a woman’s obsession with her animal, to me, is a indicator of some sort of social maladjustment.  Big red flag.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 09:17 pm: [report]

Had to sign up to get in on this…long time reader first time poster. I am in Amelia’s boyfriends boat, I am incredibly allergic to dogs, which leads to discomfort, which continues to frustration, which leads to me being pissed off. Kind of the like Yoda’s axiom fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, but in my case it means I hate dogs, because I get so miserable around them.

This means I love and adore cats.

PS. I have had a dog when I lived in Florida, his name was Doogie Howser, M.D.

Brucef
wrote on January 20 2009 @ 03:21 pm: [report]

I have to say that I am a dog lover that was almost made to hate dogs.  My ex had a dog that she treated like a person and wanted to share every aspect of our lives with the dog including sharing the bed,letting it eat from our dishes and holding the dog almost every second she was at home.  Come on ladies these are pets not humans.  Even at that you wouldn’t sit with a person every second of your free time.

joyy
wrote on January 20 2009 @ 03:37 pm: [report]

I didn’t know my current bf too well when we first started dating (long distance, no less) ... but when I saw how gentle and loving he was with his dog (especially in contrast to how my dad kept his dog outside and would BEAT it if it barked too much - hello, dogs bark), I knew that I wouldn’t have to worry about him ever getting violent with me (or threatening to, like my ex did).  Three years later, he’s never so much as lifted a finger to me and has shared that gentle, loving nature in how he treats me.

The bf claims to not like cats though, which I think stems from two things: 1) he is allergic to them 2) his most prolonged experiences with cats were with his old best friend’s overwhelmingly fat/smelly/disgusting cat.  When I lived with roommates who had cats in the house, he would still pet them (at arm’s length so he didn’t get sneezy) and be nice to them, so I don’t believe that he really doesn’t like cats, he just hates allergies and bad pet owners

I wouldn’t blame someone for not liking certain animals, but how their attitude in that looks makes a huge difference as to whether or not it becomes a dealbreaker. 

Sidenote: my bf told me that I could get a cat (we live together) ... if I got a hairless cat so that he wouldn’t be constantly sneezing.  Has anyone seen pictures of those things?  They’re gross!

Humble Bee
wrote on January 20 2009 @ 05:02 pm: [report]

ummm… maybe it’s just me, but Iv’e notice that: Most men don’t like dogs!
We can’t have this “well he better like my dog, cause if not it’s over” attitude…..

Some of you are VERY attached to your dog, have you ever considered that you might have scared them away with your weird overprotection of your dog?....... i’m just sayin’....

the rebel angel
wrote on January 22 2009 @ 01:29 pm: [report]

Ok, I’ve been a stealth reader for some time, but now feel the need to speak out as this is an issue I am thinking about as I venture back on-line dating after an eight month hiatus.

I have two dogs, who do not smell (I feed them raw, organic meat, they smell like me because they live with me—and I smell FABULOUS!!), they are my little family, and have seen me through some really tough times. 

My view is that if you adopt a pet, that pet is your responsibility for the duration of that pet’s life.  I would never bring anyone into my life, or my house, who did not embrace my dogs in a sincere, loving way.  A few men in the past lied to me about liking dogs, and it was clear that they were ‘tolerating’ my dogs when they were around them.  They got the boot within an hour of being in my house. 

I would rather be without a man in my life, than one who did not love animals.  No apologies for that.  I also have a horse, and the man in my life doesn’t have to ride her, but he has to love her, not just accept her.

“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.” - Mark Twain

Sorry for the rant, and love the forum!!

PetTherapy
wrote on January 22 2009 @ 10:19 pm: [report]

I dated a guy who was allergic to dogs… he had missed the mention of pets in my profile, and while I love my 3 dogs and 2 cats (mostly rescues), I don’t expect everyone to understand what they mean to me and others. My animals go to a nursing home to give and get love. In order to keep them clean enough to be put on people’s beds every week and to keep them socialized properly, they need to be inside and with me. And yes, when I take a furry one in, he or she has a home with me for life. They offer unconditional love, and I learned from them.

Well, he and I hit it off. Really well. I don’t click like that many people, certainly not on so many levels. But his allergies became more apparent. He coped, groused, and wanted me to clean more. Fine, except I was in the middle of some rennovations—the deep clean had taken a back burner.

I thought we had worked out most of the issues. In theory, I agreed to making the kitchen and bedroom and his study off limits. He said that would be enough, to have allergy free areas.

Then he started telling me I needed to get rid of 2 or 3 of them. Um, what about my pet therapy? I have been doing this for 8 years; I had known him for 8 months.

And then he said it was over. Then he rescinded the breakup (? anyone ever heard of that? ?) and his agreement about me keeping them and having allergy-free areas. No, they had to go. I told him we had broken up, that I didn’t break commitments—even to “dumb” animals.

That was when the anger issues started.

And that was the end.

I’ve been married and have dated men who loved and spoiled the beasties more than me. While I would like some of that attention myself, I’m not about to subject my furry friends to someone with anger issues. None of us need that.

And yes, the beasties and I still go to the nursing home. While not all people there want a visit (not feeling well, too tired, allergic, afraid, just not a pet person), enough want us there that the nurses stop me to thank us for coming.

At least the beasties love me back, unconditionally.
When I find a guy who can take lessons from a dog,
then I will get that king-sized bed for all of us.

Lynn
wrote on January 23 2009 @ 04:15 pm: [report]

I totally agree with PetTherapy - my dog has been in my life for 12 years. No way would I ever consider getting rid of her for some new guy who might not make it past a couple months with me. If a guy is scared off by the fact that I take my responsibilities and loved ones seriously, then he’s not the guy for me anyway. I’m not nutty or “weirdly overprotective” of her, but she is in my life and I’m not going to dump her out just because some guy I’ve spent a couple nights with isn’t fond of her.

CuteCora
wrote on February 12 2009 @ 10:15 am: [report]

Myself and husband have a dog..I love my pup, however I beleive that some people do treat their dogs and or pets alittle to much like they are your children. I walk my dog, throw him a ball, give him a bath, feed him treats and pet him.. I do not take my dog to the flippin salon ..really… i could spend my money on somethng much more useful, this also goes with buying my dogs clothes.. ok dogs are dogs for a reason they have special fur made for each dog to protect them and keep them warm, putting a fluffy blue sweater on him or pink for her is completly OUTRAGEOUS… they look silly and you look evan more silly for doin it. Also to explain how retarded some peole can be and why maybe some men back off is this : My neighbour has a dalmation ( cute dog) however she lets the dog sleep in the bed, and well lets say talks to her dog like he is a 3 yr old child that can completly understand her..weird right? NOPE this is the icing on the cake, last October they got married ( not her & the dog haha) and @ the ceremony she surprized her soon to be husband with a private ceremony so that he can adopt her dog and be his father.. OK seriously I think that I would laugh and think WTF are you kdding me… Also it is ok for someone not to like dogs or pes in general, however it is the attitude in which they have. I would not get rid of my dog for some B/F or tie him up outside every time my B/F came over.. HELL NO ADJUST!

Emasaurus
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 12:43 pm: [report]

I totally agree - i adore dogs and all animals a guy who didn’t love ‘em would be beyond undatable. and you can totally judge a person by there treatment of animals and children. My boyfriend pretends to be very cynical and ruthless but you should see him with his cat, so sweeet!

For all those people who are allergic I believe there are dogs who don’t shed, didn’t the obamas get one?

MediaExecutive
wrote on November 7 2009 @ 10:44 pm: [report]

there are so many women who treat their dog or cat like a person. Or who allow the dog into bed (gross!). These women are surprised when they can’t find a man.

C.Munro
wrote on November 7 2009 @ 11:48 pm: [report]

I am not at all a dog person.  I don’t like the way they need constant attention, their love for roughhousing, having them jump on or lick me, and I can’t stand that you always have to establish your dominance with them.  I find most dogs irritating to be around. 

That doesn’t mean I’m cruel or violent toward them.  I always make an effort to be friendly.  There have even been a couple of dogs that completely won me over, like my aunt’s German Shepherd that used to babysit me in the front yard as a small child, or my BFF’s Siberian Husky that passed away back in April. 

But I am a cat person through and through.  Even the cats that supposedly don’t like anyone but their owners love me, and I love them back.  One of my exes accused me of liking her calico more than her.  I’ve been thinking a lot about adopting a kitty lately. 

An annoying dog would probably be a dealbreaker for me.  Or a girl who expects me to adore her dog as much as she does, or wants me to be OK with it sleeping in the bed with me.  But a cool dog, or a cat, would be a bonus.