Dealbreaker: The Dumb Guy
Posted by: Diana Vilibert
Filed in:
relationships
12:30PM, Monday December 22nd 2008
I noticed Bob before he noticed me. He looked like the kind of guy you have sex with in barroom bathrooms and the backseats of cars. When he said “Hey” as I brushed past him in the Cold & Sinus aisle of Walgreen’s, I hesitated. I knew that “Hey.” It was the cocky “Hey” of a man who’s good in bed and bad at everything else. He’ll stand you up for dinner, but he can guarantee you multiple orgasms before breakfast. I knew better. I agreed to meet him for coffee later that night.
We drove around listening to techno music with the volume so high that I felt like there was a Hitachi Magic Wand underneath my seat. Bob, I learned between CD changes, lived in the area, and liked techno. And Bob thought I was smart. Really smart. “Busting out the SAT words, huh?” he commented. He repeated this often throughout the evening, marveling at my 8th-grade-level vocabulary. Words like “inconceivable” made him laugh. By the end of the night I found it inconceivable that I had made out with him for half an hour in front of my house. I agreed to a second date.
“That’s what’s up, ” Bob said, pleased.
Bob had signature phrases: “That’s what’s up” and “That’s just how I roll.”
“I’m an only child. That’s what’s up.”
“Thanks for the coffee. That’s just how I roll.” And so on.
After a few dates, he invited me over to his place. Again, I was hesitant. Since our last date, my text message inbox had amassed an alarming number of run-on sentences, an abysmal understanding of the difference between “you’re” and “your,” and a total disregard for basic spelling rules.
“I can cook something up,” he offered. There’s hope yet, I deluded myself. On the drive over, I imagined being seduced next to a pan of sizzling stir-fry.
When I walked in, there was no stir-fry. There was steak—his—and one beer, which he offered to split with me. He occupied the only seat in the vicinity of the kitchen, and with nowhere else to go besides the couch at the other end of the house, I stood awkwardly beside him, watching as he cut his steak into tiny choke-proof bits and dunked each piece into ketchup. He only kept enough food in the house for himself, he explained between bites. It wasn’t just his grasp of grammar that was below average. He had never learned how to play well with others.
As he finished, I wandered around. The TV was giant and obtrusive, but it looked inconspicuous next to his sound system. I made my way from the living room to the bedroom, where I found boxes of techno CDs, waist-high stacks of DVDs, and another TV. Where were the books?
I searched for signs of literacy as Bob flipped through the channels, lingering on the Playboy channel.
It wasn’t merely the absence of literature that was nagging at me, I realized. I scanned the room like it was a Where’s Waldo book, searching for the missing piece, and then it hit me. He was missing a bookshelf. Not only did he not own books. He hadn’t even entertained the idea of owning books in the future.
It was somewhere between my literary insight and his Chris Rock impression that I put the final kibosh on the possibility of any romance between us. As a writer, how could I date a non-reader? Sure, I may sound like a snob. But that’s just how I roll.
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
Perceptible
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 12:36 pm: [report]
I can’t believe you made it past date one.
shannac02
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 01:06 pm: [report]
HAHAHA Ah, yes… “that guy” Ugh. Illiteracy is the biggest turn-off EVER.
Humble Bee
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 01:29 pm: [report]
OMG. I just realized, im dating a dumbas$...
Shame on me, my bf says, “thats how I roll” every 5 minutes. I once broke up with him because we didn’t have anything to talk about. Then he came back asking me, “what should we talk about, i’m desperate, want to talk about Russia??” I just laughed, and we had sex. Ugh, I forgive so easily.
shannac02
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 01:34 pm: [report]
I dated that guy for two years… ya know, the guy that doesn’t know the difference between a Leper and A Leopard? Yeah. That guy. They’re always good in the sack, but dumb as a box of hair.
Arty
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 01:41 pm: [report]
I would never. I can’t even stand to BE around people like this. My college friends and I referred to this type of guy as “dudes.” Dudes wore baseball caps, ate steak and drank bud while watching sports. They didn’t read and said “that’s how I role.”
The “you’re”/“your” thing would end it for me right there. I can’t stand chatspeak, even in text messages, unless used ironically. “LOL” irks me when used too often.
I’d prefer a man who knows the difference between “effect” and “affect” knows when “its” needs an apostrophe, and can use a semicolon appropriately.
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 03:40 pm: [report]
hmm…I feel as though I should chime in on this one. I agree that bob does sound quite similar to Cody from step-by-step, maybe sans van. When I read the portion about not having and literature in the house and not even a bookshelf, a single tear came down my cheek, that portion is true of me as well. I’m unable to tell what causes this lack of interest in me concerning this particular subject but I have only ever been interested in online news and art critiques. This makes me take a step back and exmine myself as a person, whether my lacking in this area is immediately evident to all women past and present and has somehow hindered me. Sigh* maybe one day I will find a woman to read to me and turn the page…=)
Simone
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 03:57 pm: [report]
ECM,
You are articulate. You don’t say (at least, I’ve never read it, if you have), “huh-huh! That there is a big word. ‘Ar-tik-yoo-lut.’ Huh-huh-huh! You’ve got big knockers. Kiss me.”
Sim
shannac02
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 04:08 pm: [report]
Agreed. At least we know he can read… And write. and He’s most likely not the guy crushing beer cans on his head…
Simone
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 04:10 pm: [report]
Or if he is, he’s probably doing it in a creative way.
“Look! An origami crane!”
shannac02
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 04:12 pm: [report]
BAHAHAHA He would totally be that guy to make drunken origami out of crushed beer cans! Ah, Sigh…
Love it!
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 04:12 pm: [report]
Hehe no bird shapes here, I’m not much of a beer drinker anyhow. I catch quite a lot of guff from males when they hear that from me, good thing their opinion doesn’t matter to me =). I will leave the can crushing to Cody. =)
cbass8
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 04:51 pm: [report]
I always find myself attracted to “that guy” at least fleetingly. I can’t help it. Smart wins in the end, but who doesn’t love a big hot dumb guy, at least from afar?
janieinecuador
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 05:37 pm: [report]
The thing with girls is that some of us need to have a smart conversation. Heck, I’m the kind of gal who enjoys watching soccer matches while having a pitcher of beer. But I love having a smart chat with a decent guy. Oh, and EastCoast.. Cody was cute, I admit not smart, but he was caring and sweet, which is a huge turn on for any gal!
rylamar
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 08:26 pm: [report]
missinformation,
You just reiterated everything my friend and I were saying the other day. I’ve had women tell me I’m too picky about it but there’s nothing worse than bad grammar.
Co-worker emails are a whole different topic!
vanya
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 08:42 pm: [report]
Now I can’t get Forrest Gump out of my head: “I am not a smart man. But I know what love is.”
just_w
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 09:50 pm: [report]
If only he owned a book, you could have justified to yourself being with the loser. Would a Sports Illustrated have sufficed? Doesn’t sound like you were looking for much…
persia
wrote on December 22 2008 @ 10:47 pm: [report]
The problem is that dumb guys tend to be nicer than the smart ones…
Tao
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 09:59 am: [report]
I think we’ve all had an experience like Diana. My take: Her name was Tricia, she had the body and face of a goddess, giggled at everything I said (and I mean everything, even when it wasn’t funny), and her catch phrases were “It’s to die for” and “Get OUT of here” (read: Elaine in Seinfeld).
Conversation at a nice restaurant consisted of clothing styles in general, her outfit in particular, and the latest videos on MTV. Any mention of current news events, politics, world issues, the economy, or social issues were met with “Get OUT of here” and a return to talk of shoes.
The sex was great, if non-conversant. Her bag of tricks, liberal attitude, and willingness to experiment were unparalleled, but her reading material consisted of People and Us magazines. Combine this with the insistence to decorate her apartment in pink, fuzzy troll dolls and unicorns, and it was only a matter of time before we had “the talk”. I couldn’t take it anymore, and the worst part about it was that I didn’t respect her. I felt bad for being intimate with her and not giving a damn what she thought. Not that I didn’t try, it was just a battle that couldn’t be won. Moral to the story: Sexiness is as much in the brain as it is in the body. But we all know that.
BrunetteBeauty
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 11:07 am: [report]
I’m not a big fan of dumb guys, but what about those guys who are really smart and know it? Like the ones who think they are so fabulously smart and you’re the dumbass…I hate those guys even more than the dumb guys. LOL
Erin G
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 11:24 am: [report]
@Brunette
OH JESUS. Those guys are terrible. At least the dumb ones are easy to ditch. Those guys just want to put you down and talk on and on about themselves.
Humble Bee
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 12:11 pm: [report]
@Tao, that was hilarious.
I have the same feeling with my current partner, except he’s so nice I just can’t find a way to end it.. Its like he tries so hard to please me and I feel so bad letting him go, specially around this time.
Dawnschilde
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 12:37 pm: [report]
This is why, at times, *juggling* is a good thing. Oh, and I don’t mean balls. Wait, actually I sort of do, just not the kind for ping-pong.
I usually find it necessary to date three men at once. The first would be The Intellectual; love him for stimulation of the brain; scrabble games and good wine, deeply sensitive love-making and long thoughtful conversations.
The second would be our deal-breaker boy above whom I also refer to as “The Dude.” The Dude has the vocabulary of a 12 year old usually has some serious cro-magnum tendencies and definitely owns no books. He also can make you feel like a sex goddess because without any other distractions he is a body-god.
The third is that great “GF” (that guy friend) who sort of rounds out what is missing from the other two. After having sex with the GF, you have to pretend it didn’t happen because you don’t want to ‘ruin the friendship.’ That said, the GF is the fellow you call to play Frisbee with and at 3am when you are distraught.
Anyone who spots the best of the three in one is advised to hide him from the rest of the world immediately. Or send him to me in L.A.
Please.
rowdygirl
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 02:33 pm: [report]
I think all those things you read about sexual attraction starting in the brain are very true.. especially the older you get. If you can’t even have a conversation with someone, no matter how good the sex is, it will get boring pretty quickly….Unless you’re equally as dim-witted, and if you were you wouldn’t be reading this blog..
Squidtermz
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 03:06 pm: [report]
I feel the same way
BadTiming
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 03:23 pm: [report]
Unfortunately stupidity seems to be the norm. It amazes me that some of these people can find there front door. Personally I’d rather claw my eyes out than carry a conversation with a moron. Date one? Absolutely not! That deal is broken before the food is served. There are definitely levels of stupidity that with enough self medication can be tolerated in small doses. I was just looking at Yahoo Questions and this was posted.
How do I email my friend that lives in Germany if I live in the U.S.?
In Other - Internet - Asked by insaneinsanity0346 - 0 answers - 2 minutes ago
BadTiming
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 03:25 pm: [report]
If ignorance is bliss that’s one happy motherfu#####
wanman
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 03:27 pm: [report]
I have known a ton of decent women who can’t get enough of these stupid guys. In most cases they thought that stupid meant easy to control and they were willing to sacrifice everything else in order to be in charge. They weren’t always right. Dumb guys tend to cheat a lot. They don’t seem to know any better.
Besides if women stopped being with stupid men the gene pool would get better.
Croutons
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 03:59 pm: [report]
Maybe he uses an Amazon Kindle!
vanya
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 09:51 pm: [report]
I’m hestitant to comment on this again, given the tone of the other comments. My dh’s childhood friend is intellectually disabled now (GSW to the head while an innocent bystander at a party store robbery) Not severely, but enough probably to classify him as one of these “dumb” guys everyone’s talking about here.
While he isn’t so “smart” anymore, he is still a really wonderful person who has a LOT to offer a woman.
His life changed completely in a split second, and he has always made the best of it and carries on without complaint.
I honestly can’t imagine the “gene pool would get better” without him around. He’s a far better quality person than plenty of the “smart” people I’ve come across.
Mid-West_Fella
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 09:55 pm: [report]
I agree with those of you who can’t stand to even be near people like this. It seems to be almost contagious, as it by being associated with someone like that you’re going to end up less intelligent. So, I can very easily understand this point of view. Not to mention it gets outright annoying having to explain nearly everything you say to that person.
Arty
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 09:59 pm: [report]
@Mid
Or getting that Look. You know the one. When you say something and the other person just looks at you like you’re speaking in a foreign language. I get this a lot when I use technical terms like “server” or “registry.”
eden
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 10:37 pm: [report]
@ vanya: I have to say I agree with you there. Being ‘dumb’ isn’t the biggest issue ever, although I do love intelligent guys. My biggest gripe is being ignorant - totally different to being unintelligent.
Also, the no books thing would only bother me if the guy didn’t do anything else, either. No cars, skiing, stamp collecting, etc, etc.
BadTiming
wrote on December 23 2008 @ 10:53 pm: [report]
@mis
I’m not sure I’d talk about a desktop icon with some of these people but you must be a glutton for punishment to bring up the registry. Probably don’t get blank stares when you bring up servers because I’m sure they’re just thinking of a hot waitress. I’m wondering if they’re picking up the, did you really just say that look I’m throwing at them.
@Vanys
That’s an unfortunate situation and I’m sure everyone posting sympathizes with that tragedy and obviously aren’t taking stabs disabled people. Nevertheless if every post had to be politically correct with regard to every accident and disability there wouldn’t be too much content.
vanya
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 08:02 am: [report]
Oh, I’m not saying that anyone is taking stabs at disabled people. Maybe I wasn’t very clear in making my point which is that had “Bob” been a fun and personable guy than his actual IQ might not have been a dealbreaker. Often, a person’s EQ is just as important as IQ to a lot of people, if not more. On the flip side, how attractive is an intelligent man with extremely poor social skills, KWIM? According to the comments above, not very.
At least Diana can be relieved that his book collection isn’t entirely comprised of literature from his religious cult…
wanman
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 08:28 am: [report]
@miss
Did you say Servers and Registry? Mmmm stop it! Now tell me about front side bus speeds and memory latency, yeah. Oooh or kernel revisions and Unix underpinnings. Now, yell Bill Gates and Steve Jobs while pulling my hair…..Ok, I’m sorry. I must have gotten carried away.
Mid-West_Fella
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 08:51 am: [report]
@MissInfo
Yes, I agree, and I don’t believe a person needs to be knowledgeable about all subjects, and know the technical lexicon for all topics and subjects. Still, if you’re unable to ever remove that look from a partner, there is not a lot of hope for a solid relationship (read: not a snowball’s chance in hell).
shannac02
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 08:57 am: [report]
Every girl has dated “the Dumb Guy” at some point. No one liability makes him that guy. I think a lot of the attributes that go along with being “the dumb guy” relate to maturity levels.
DidSheReallyGoThere
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 11:35 am: [report]
(Howling in the forest in the middle of the night). TOTALLY! If there’s no intellectual stimulation, I don’t give a damn how well he can eat, beat, stroke, or poke! I don’t give a damn even if he HAS a degree. I’ve met dummies with documentation, and their Master’s/PhD belies the prospect of food for thought, for I’ve often been left starving for substance: Of course, moving on to a more sustaining situation.
LADIES: SAVE YOURSELVES THE TROUBLE!
You can tell if a fella has food for thought to offer our inquiring minds if:
1. He can offer an opinion on at least ONE current event broadcast via some form of media (sorry, sports-casts and pizza specials don’t count!)
2. He CAN tell the ‘best’ book he ever read, and why it’s his ‘favorite’.
3. He DOESN’T overly compliment you for using ‘SAT words’ like “preparation”. (lol).
4. He has more than one taste in music. This may seem biased, but would you eat at from a restaurant that ONLY offered one item on the menu, even if the [item] was incorporated into the title of the restaurant?
5. If/when the topic of ‘tell me about your friends’ comes up, he can describe more than their preferred vehicular make/model and/or fashion preferences. (THIS IS A HUGE MAKE-Or-BREAK detail. I’M TELLING YOU!)
6. If/when the topic of ‘what do you wanna have done within the next 20 years’ (give him a HUUUUUUGE window, so he doesn’t feel pressured)......he has an answer more tangible than ‘be alive!’ (lol)
7. You have sufficient evidence that he does, indeed take pride in hygiene and appearance. (even an ‘earthy type’ is gonna swipe on some deodorant, chew some gum, and ask if you mind him smoking)
There are many more tricks to the trade, but keeping in mind, as I disgustingly marvel at some of my closest homegirls who overlook all but urinating in a cemetary, I’m gonna categorize the rest of my standards as “To Each His Own”. It’s YOUR life!
Diana Vilibert
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 12:30 pm: [report]
Vanya—there’s definitely a huge difference between someone who has an intellectual disability (whether it’s something they were born with or as a result of an accident)—and just not being interested in learning anything or owning a book. So I hope I didn’t offend!
And IQ aside, even a guy who’s dumb as a rock immediately looks more attractive to me if he cares about learning about *anything* that’s outside of his immediate environment. As in, NOT the type of guy who’s all “LOL, you like to read? LAME.”
Tao
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 04:43 pm: [report]
@DidSheReallyGoThere:
Funny, funny, funny…you made me laugh out loud. Thanks!
Isabela Laval
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 06:45 pm: [report]
Personally, I consider a “dumb guy” as the dude who doesn’t have an opinion about anything in life, other than how his Quiksilver flip flops are the coolest, because they have a bottle opener built into the sole. And when he proceeds to SHOW you how cool they are, by taking one off and opening your beer with it, he moves from “dumb guy” to “moron”. Eww.
Alice Eleanor
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 08:25 pm: [report]
Mind, heart, and body. Ideally a boy would have all three but two is fine. Having only one is unacceptable.
For instance I don’t mind if they’re dumb, so long as they have emotional depth. Whereas we’ve all known clever boys who were soulless, arrogant aspiring evil geniuses, and this article is about the ones with neither brains nor the maturity to be so much as a decent host.
Simone
wrote on December 24 2008 @ 08:40 pm: [report]
Well said, Alice Eleanor!
DidSheReallyGoThere
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 12:28 am: [report]
Ah, Alice. I suspect a twinge of cynicism. It’s true, that the ‘average’ guy may often leave more than a little to be desired. However, there ARE eligible bachelors who can fulfill our every fancy still! We women simply must
1. Be confident enough to BE the type of person we ultimately wish to attract
2. Be perserverant enough not to let ‘a fear of being alone’ incline us to settle for more than the ‘Basics’. And sorry, Alice my dear….a HIPPOPOTAMUS IN THE ZOO has a Mind, Body, and Heart! We often feel so let down because we let our ‘fear of being alone’ incline us to LOWER OUR STANDARDS.
3. Be at peace with the fact that we were born ‘alone’, and once passed over, will cross to the ‘other side’ the same way we got here.
4. Be aware of Self; the fact that you were born a functioning female capable of procreation. With a little more faith that you DO deserve a Mind, Body, Heart—-Soul laced with passion, and effort drenched in total devotion…you’ll find Him. We women aren’t the smartest of the two species for nothing! If you’re astute enough to make such a concise analogy on what’s going on, surely you believe you are best-off with a man whose intellect can reach at LEAST to the surface of yours…if not a little deeper.
Or maybe that’s just me.
Alice Eleanor
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 02:02 am: [report]
Oh my. Well, in response, I should say… yes. We should strive to find our equals.
In between then and now, though… we don’t have to remain untouched. All manner of fun can be had with boys who are good-looking and kind-hearted but don’t think the distinction between “it” and “it’s” is important.
Whereas boys who are good-looking but awful in every other aspect are nothing but trouble and even hedonistic little me strives to avoid them.
siouxsienova
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 12:47 pm: [report]
I dated a box of hair last year. He was insanely hot, but if I went above 4th grade vocabulary words he blew a gasket and accused me of being a smart ass. Honey, my ass is just a perk!
nycbabe
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 02:24 pm: [report]
Don’t know how any of you did it. Wouldn’t - couldn’t stand it. A friend dated a guy who said “li-berry” instead of “library”. We all met at the same time. My friend said - he really likes you. Me? “Take him; he’s all yours.” And he was - for years, believe it or not. Don’t know how she did it. Bright, well-read. Guess she liked the jewelry and vacations.
Tao
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 02:47 pm: [report]
Just to clarify…We are all talking about dating, and not “doing”, right? I’ll admit to doing, on more than one occasion, She-Who-Was-Less-Than-Intellectually-Stimulating (the politically correct statement for “She-Was-Dumber-Than-A-Box-Of-Rocks). And my disclaimer prior to saying anything else is that no, I’m not a Rhodes Scholar, nor a member of Mensa. I do, however, take a small amount of pride in being as well-spoken and well-read as my circumstances and life will allow.
Dating is significantly different than Doing. I date a partner, and friend, and equal. I do a warm body that serves a need; the ability to speak a complete sentence be damned. I date someone with whom I enjoy conversation as well as the physical aspects. I do the woman that I’ve been eye-f**king across the bar all night. I think we’ve all been in the position to “do” a partner. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
But for dating, dumb doesn’t do it. Good sex is great, but great sex is mind-blowing (among other things), and it takes more than a hot body with a vacant stare to make it happen, in my humble opinion. Kudos to Diana for recognizing that and moving on.
carol v.a.
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 03:42 pm: [report]
I have the story to end all stories. A guy I know was recently having a car wash and he was going to have a sign across the street. Well, he thought that since the sign was going to be pointing in a different direction, the words should be in a different direction as well. He proceded to ask me how to spell “car wash donation” and wrote it backwards. Not “donation wash car” i mean noitanod hsaw rac”. And I had recently considered dating him. After this, I said goodbye and never looked back.
vanya
wrote on December 25 2008 @ 10:25 pm: [report]
Diana, I’m not offended.
Clever Visual
wrote on December 26 2008 @ 09:51 pm: [report]
hmmm, in my school, all the really hot girls are stupid, and all the smart girls are ugly….and the ones who have looks and brains are stuck-up feminists. x( *sigh* i hope this is just my school…
Scarlet Drawl
wrote on December 27 2008 @ 02:22 pm: [report]
You didn’t check the bathroom. That’s where the Hustler’s and the Low Rider magazines are. That’s probably about as far as Bob got with reading. You should check out his myspace, I’m sure there’s plenty of egregious grammar errors while describing “how he rolls.”
Tao
wrote on December 27 2008 @ 08:08 pm: [report]
I just get a kick out of anybody who can work the word “egregious” into everyday conversation. It ranks up there with “catastrophe” (heavy emphasis on the second syllable) as one of my favorite buzz words.
Simone
wrote on December 27 2008 @ 08:11 pm: [report]
I like “laconic.”
Titi
wrote on December 28 2008 @ 09:32 pm: [report]
I totally agree—I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a gorgeous man and completely lost interest the second he opened his mouth and revealed how utterly dim he was. I tend to look for the most intelligent men possible, which has been somewhat problematic. Trying to find a guy who is ridiculously smart (but not arrogant), creative (but not insane), and easy on the eyes (but not vain) is damn near impossible. I’m not saying every man I date needs to be trilingual, possess impeccable grammar skills, and want to talk about string theory into the wee hours, but it would be nice…
Nice Badger
wrote on December 29 2008 @ 12:41 am: [report]
I don’t get it. This dumb girl picks up some dude she can’t respect and uses him for sex and we’re supposed to be impressed by the fact that she judges the living hell out of him? Please, women thinking they’re better than men come a dime a dozen. I’d LOVE to hear the guy nitpick and ridicule her to a smarmy death in public. One can only hope (after reading this ball of smegma) that he’s “THAT” kind of guy, too.
Diana Vilibert
wrote on December 30 2008 @ 01:24 am: [report]
Nice Badger—thanks for the commentary. Aside from the fact that I didn’t sleep with him or use him (does deciding a guy isn’t right for you for whatever reason automatically considered “using him” if you’ve hooked up? Yikes)—I certainly didn’t write this because I had hopes it would impress anyone. It was just an experience that I went through that I felt was a pretty common one for both men and women, and judging from the 50+ comments, it seems like it is.
Alice Eleanor
wrote on December 30 2008 @ 01:29 am: [report]
Diana I think he/she/it is an internet troll, pay them no mind, we all love you. And you’re cute.
Nice Badger
wrote on December 30 2008 @ 04:44 am: [report]
Yeah, I’m an ignorant troll. That’s a fair assessment. You just got done slaughtering a man in effigy for not having a bookshelf, and asking the whole world of arrogant women to support you on it, and I’m an “ignorant troll”. I probably hate my mother and can’t get a date, and secretly long to have sex with men, too, right? Guess I should burn my bookshelf. Seriously, though, please just stop insulting men and their intelligence—in whatever form it may come. You’re not a better (or smarter) person (or GENDER) for having rejected someone. And that’s the kind of mythology this stuff propagates. And you know it, and that’s why you do it. We all love you and you’re cute… but don’t play dumb while you’re claiming to be the gifted one.
jgummy
wrote on December 30 2008 @ 12:05 pm: [report]
First off, “ball of smegma”? Nice Badger, your eloquent critique of this piece…it’s just so thought provoking.
But in all seriousness, I don’t see what’s so wrong with this story. If the gender roles were reversed and a guy was talking about dumping a girl for the same reasons, I wouldn’t think anything of it. But who knows, maybe Diana missed out. Bob could have had a Pulitzer stashed away in his apartment somewhere.
Furthermore, the overall point of this article, like several others that have been posted on this site, was to point out a “dealbreaker”. For Diana, in the end, it came down to the fact that he didn’t read. I’ve heard about worse dealbreakers from both genders.
And you know what? You may get mad if some women assume that you hate your mom and can’t get a date - but buddy, your rant is laced with so much bitterness that I wouldn’t be surprised to find that you’ve had some problems with the opposite sex before.
EarthGoddess
wrote on December 30 2008 @ 03:29 pm: [report]
I cannot believe this article! How arrogant can the author be?!?! I met, fell in mad love with, and *gasp* married a “dumb” man who owns a total of 4 books of which he’s read 1. His lack of shelf to put them on? I never noticed, to be honest. Instead, I chose to concentrate on his good qualities, which I love more everyday. I am a college educated woman with a good job earning a decent salary, so I am not a “dumb” woman either. I am, however, very fulfilled and happy in my marriage, despite the fact that my wonderful husband is not nearly as well-read as my ex was. He was a literature buff, poet, and a total BORE to be around. I’d much rather spend the rest of my life with my “dumb” husband than someone who walks around speaking in iambic pentameter ...
It’s no wonder you’re still dating and not happily married like me… who could possibly be good enough to be with “perfect” you? Good luck to the men you encounter ... they’re going to need it!
Madam Vivian
wrote on December 30 2008 @ 05:39 pm: [report]
People who use the words “happily married” followed by the words “like me” are not replying to an article; they are simply boasting about their situation. And you’re situation is that your married. That simple. 50% of you “happily married like me” people get divorced eventually. Good luck with that. And good luck to the people who encounter you… and you’re excitingly “dumb” husband.
marthajane
wrote on December 31 2008 @ 05:35 pm: [report]
I had sex with that guy. I don’t think I ever even had a conversation with him; he knew friends of mine that referred to him as a slut. I was due, so I went there. FUN!
And I married a guy that didn’t read fiction (it never came up, and he did read a LOT of computer language books…)But he reads more fiction than I do now. He adapted.
The dumb guy scares me. I can’t have to worry about them AND the kids.
Run away.