Dating In The New Year: A Look At Online Personals Sites
Posted by: Jen Best
Filed in:
relationships
11:00AM, Sunday January 4th 2009
With the New Year just around the corner and winter in full swing, the desire for another warm body next to us grows every day. We don’t necessarily want someone to bring home to embarrassing family dinners so much as we want someone to drink hot-toddies with as the night grows colder and inhibitions smaller. It’s hard to feel attractive under layers of fuzzy sweaters and fuzzier legs, which makes going out to to clubs to find our mate as appealing as brussels sprout pie. More and more people are turning to on-line personals to help them find that special person to ring in the new year with, even if it’s just for one night or a few months.
I’ve rounded up the most popular personals dating sites and narrowed down the best and worst of what the sites have to offer – everything from short term hook-up potential to the skeeviness factor (the amount of men you’d try to avoid while walking down the street).
NERVE.COM
The Lowdown: While it caters mostly to the New York area, you can find people from just about every where. The demographic tends to be rather middle-class, educated and on the prowl for something more. I always get the feel that the majority of the folks on Nerve are looking for that “other half” to complete them. The skeevy-factor is relatively low, and there’s a good deal of beautiful people to be found.
Hook-Up Potential: High
Skeevy-Factor: Low
Long-Term Potential: Medium
OKCUPID.COM
The Lowdown: If someone could have a crush on a website, I’d probably have one on OKCupid. The site works on the basis of compatibility more so than any other dating site out there (through a series of quizzes and tests). The good side of this is that it weeds out anyone you don’t have common interests with or might not have any attraction to. The average age seems to be quite young but you can also find just about every demographic, label and whatever else you’re looking for.
Hook-Up Potential: High
Skeevy-Factor: Medium
Long-Term Potential: Low
CRAIGSLIST PERSONALS
The Lowdown: Believe it or not, some people turn to CL for their dating needs. Of course, those desires tend to be for someone to tie them up and lick their feet while a chorus line recites the alphabet backwards. This isn’t for everybody. If you’re going to post a personals ad here, be ready to get an in-box full of messages from people who are completely opposite of what you’re looking for, even if you were quite explicit in what you want. If what you’re looking for is something a little risque (and risky), then CL is definitely the place for you, if you know how to play safely.
Hook-Up Potential: Medium
Skeevy-Factor: High
Long-Term Potential: Low
LAVALIFE
The Lowdown: Lavalife lets you create two profiles - one if you’re looking for people to date, whether short term or long term, and another profile to explore your more kinky side. I like this since it saves you time from having to search through people who aren’t interested in what you’re after. The sign up process is relatively easy. You can be quite specific in what you’re looking for. It seems to be very popular with Canadian singles.
Hook-Up Potential: Medium
Skeevy-Factor: Medium
Long-Term Potential: Medium
JDATE
The Lowdown: Specifically for Jewish singles, JDate sign up is quick and easy. After a bit of perusal however, you’ll notice that some of the members aren’t actually Jewish, they just play it on the web. Depending on your location, you’ll either have a great selection of handsome and successful men at your fingertips, or you’ll be left with the fake-Jew who’s trying to find a nice Jewish girl to help him find his way to the Torah.
Hook-Up Potential: Medium
Skeevy-Factor: Low
Long-Term Potential: High
PLENTYOFFISH
The Lowdown: The name of this free personals site gives you an idea of the quality inside. They claim to have 900,000 daily users, which should make finding your mate pretty easy. However, having to click through endless pages of “not a chance in hell” profiles, and poor quality webcam photos, you’re better off waiting outside the local prison for freshly released men. The skeevy-factor of this site seems to be extra high and the chances you’ll meet that special person to bring to a wedding next month is quite low. If what you’re looking for is a quickie on New Years Eve with a guy who swears he’s eighteen, this is the place for you.
Hook-Up Potential: High
Skeevy-Factor: High
Long-Term Potential: Low
EHARMONY
If you’re not completely turned off by the commercials every ten minutes and are looking for that serious partner to share a blanket with, you may like eHarmony. Upon sign up, you’re given a (very long) questionnaire to fill out. This is typical of most sites, except with eHarmony they ask you questions like, “Would you like to start a new family by having or adopting a baby?” and if you’d be “willing to take on a partner who has a child that is 18 or younger” and how important your partner’s income/education is to you. While filling out my profile, I couldn’t help the feeling that I’m not so much looking for a possible husband as I am a sperm donor.
Hook-Up Potential: Low/Medium
Skeevy-Factor: Low
Long-Term Potential: High
MATCH.COM
Unlike other sites, you can’t browse the profiles until you register (free). Being such a well-known site, you can find people from all over, which gives you more option. From what I could see, the options weren’t spectacular. The questionnaire at Match.com is relatively long, but for the most part, it’s worth checking out if you’re interested in seeking out a long-term partner.
Hook-Up Potential: Medium
Skeevy-Factor: Medium/Low
Long-Term Potential: High
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heatherfeather
wrote on January 2 2009 @ 07:09 pm: [report]
So last year (you know 2008) I created profiles on Match and eHarmony. I went on several dates, 1) guy who wore college t shirt and holey jeans to first “date” at a nice bar, 2) Guy who wrote and self-published a book about dragons, 3) guy who gave me wrong directions via email to the coffee shop where we were supposed to me and then yelled at me via email when I couldn’t find the place.
Then I met my Mr. Right. At the divest dive bar in my city, we had witty banter and lots of laughs, and have been together ever since. The weekend after we met I was at a work function and got an eHarmony “nudge” on my blackberry from “Brian”. Turns out I ignored him a month earlier on eHarmony. We took it in stride and it makes for quite a funny cocktail party story now.
nicefrenchgurl
wrote on January 4 2009 @ 12:54 pm: [report]
for once, i somewhat disagree with you
match.com is definitely an ugly place to register to
not to mention meetic. the french site is full of rude, crazy married men looking for a fling; not to mention that u have to look extremely good if u even want to land a date
plentyoffish on the other hand is a quite safe to register in, there might just be not enough turn over though. i met a wonderful man last year, but unfortunately his harrassing ex was not so nice which made me flee :(
KrazyK
wrote on January 4 2009 @ 01:26 pm: [report]
I have been addicted to Craigslist missed connections ever since my friend saw a post that she thought was about me: To the girl on the elliptical at the CCRB (gym) who wore tight black yoga pants, an over-sized men’s American Apparel blue tee and a pearl necklace. Do you have any idea how hot that is? I was behind you on the treadmill watching your ass.
Needless to say, I responded back for kicks and embarked on a weeklong exchange of flirty/dirty emails before meeting him for coffee and realizing we had nothing in common…
Maybe next time!
LadieBug
wrote on January 4 2009 @ 03:07 pm: [report]
I have been on eHarmony (Canada’s site), Plenty of Fish and LavaLife, and I am still single. I did have a 3 month long relationship with a guy off of eHarmony, but that’s it.
Plenty of Fish, there was a guy that made me cry, and many couples e-mail me about having a threesome…
LavaLife, all I get is messages or im’s from guys for Intimate Section. Nothing and I mean nothing is filled out for that section, everything is blank and I have no picture up…
I’m tired of paying for sites when I’m getting no communications from any “suitable” guys, and by suitable I mean that have a job, don’t make me cry, don’t judge me because I’m a little bit overweight, and that are confident with themselves. Oh ya, and that can make me laugh and smile when I’m not having a good day…
alliecat
wrote on January 4 2009 @ 03:43 pm: [report]
I just recently went back to Plentyoffish after a few months just taking myself off the market. I’m chatting with a few decent guys, (one who even lives in my town) but of course I haven’t met them in person yet. The next couple weeks are going to be busy for me as I meet for coffee with these guys and gauge whether any of them have potential.
The last guy I met off of plentyoffish ended up being a real skeeze who bailed on our dinner plans twice, one of which was last night. He still hasn’t contacted me to apologize or offer to make it up to me, so I’m taking it as a sign to keep looking.
I had an account with OkCupid for a while earlier this year, but I ended up meeting too many really stalkerish guys and deleted my account - haven’t had that problem with PoF yet.
cbloon
wrote on January 4 2009 @ 05:06 pm: [report]
I’ve not had too many issues with Match, but there have been some REAL sleazy types on Singles.net, which the author doesn’t even mention. How about getting propositioned to meet someone at a hotel after two or three same day emails? Um, no. Or the first email the guy asking “do you wear tight jeans?” I could just see the drool coming down from his mouth as he asked. <<shudder>>
DFKtina
wrote on January 5 2009 @ 05:27 pm: [report]
I feel like an eHarmony commercial. It is so true what they say about connecting at a deeper level. I have fallen in love with both of the 2 men I have met on this site. The first broke my heart a year ago, but that is because I ignored my own red flags of him being too freshly divorced. My current love and I have been inseperable since we met. I can honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with him. Granted, I had to weed through hundreds of matches and only found these 2. As for the other sites I have used this year….Match.com results in many dates…and many men looking for a booty call. Same with Yahoo personals. If you are looking for a long term relationship and true love, I suggest trying eHarmony. Best of luck to all of us looking for love in 2009 and beyond!
Jar by the Door
wrote on January 5 2009 @ 11:44 pm: [report]
I joined OKCupid in April of last year. I met my boyfriend (who’d been on since 2005) of eight months now later that month. I’m moving in with him when I graduate this May. I can’t imagine myself with anyone else. I made a lot of cool internet-only friends on the site, and it’s just a generally fun place… however, there were several creepers sending me messages before I got the one from my boyfriend-to-be mentioning how cool it was that I had a Pirates of Penzance reference in my profile. HOWEVER, he and I did end up sharing a mutual friend, which is what sealed the deal that I’d actually meet him… regardless, I’m an OKC fan. It has a special place in my heart.
scb197
wrote on January 8 2009 @ 02:12 pm: [report]
Plentyoffish I think is great. As all sites, except for eHarmony, which is religious based, and just recently offered a gay option because of a lawsuit, have the capacity for hooking up.
I tried Plentyoffish and met some nice guys on it, had some great dates, then I met my boyfriend and we’ve been together 5 months…he’s great, everything a girl could ask for:-)
But…go check ‘em all out if you’re lookin for love…or whatever you might want.
lionmane
wrote on January 8 2009 @ 03:24 pm: [report]
I met my absolutely fabulous, although not rich, boyfriend on Plentyoffish and also met other men who were perfectly nice people. It’s all in maximizing opportunities, being open to everyone but also being safe. I wouldn’t recommend a face to face meeting until you’ve “met” on the phone, and stick to well lit, public places for the first few dates.
K xxx
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 08:33 am: [report]
Be My Valentine
He loves me, he loves me not! Yep, it’s here again, it’s Valentines Day. Oh, all the romance, flirting, flirt texts and sexy surprises and all thought up of nothing but love mmm… Possibly or maybe you’re one of the many people ( No, you are not alone) that waits by the letterbox convinced that there is a postal strike or the one who checks all their messages just to see if a sexy somebody has sent you a flirt sms.
Of course you maybe the one that ‘pretends’ you don’t even believe in Valentines Day in fact you think it’s just a big load of unnecessary gestures with the aim to convince the ‘loved up one’ receiving an armful of presents of your loyalty when in actual fact the more the man makes of this day, the more likely he is trying to hide something!
Bitter in some way maybe, but fear not, here’s a thought for all you single people who flirt. Valentines day may seem like a let down to some however it is the biggest ready made romantic flirting day and night of the year. So put all your flirt moves to the test and a great excuse for getting yourself even sexier and hotter for the biggest flirting opportunity. Well no one said you had to be ‘loved up’ before you left the door did they?
So many singles come out to flirt on Valentines and with the right moves and attitude you are guaranteed to be the one with arms full of presents next year!
K xxx http://www.jaydiocity.co.uk