Dating Don’ts: How To Tell If He’s Taken
Posted by: Judy McGuire | Filed in: Relationships
10:30AM, Thursday September 04th 2008
| Comments (11) |
|
E-Mail | Share: |
|
Back when our moms were on the market, they could tell right off the bat if the foxy soda jerk was unavailable because back then married men never went anywhere without their rings. Not that a band of gold would necessarily keep a cad from straying (see also, Mad Men’s Don Draper), but at least a lady could make an informed decision about whether or not she wanted to wander into “other woman” territory.
Nowadays, it’s not so easy to tell who’s taken. Lots of married men don’t bother with rings and loads more just live with their significant others in a slightly more informal (though generally no less committed) cohabitation situation. I’ll spare you the moralizing, but I’m here to tell you that being someone’s girl on the side is a sucker’s game.
There is possibly nothing cheesier on the planet than the married dude who slips his wedding ring into his pocket during a night out with the guys. Especially obvious during the summer months—the pale white tan line is an obvious tell.
So who’s a lady to hit on? Not only is it harder to figure out who’s on the market, a combination of factors—namely the Internet and mobile phones—have made it easier for the sneaky guy to disguise his relationship status. A reluctance to hand over the home digits used to be an immediate sign, but now everybody’s got cellphones. So here are some clues a woman on the prowl can look for:
1. The White Stripe
There is possibly nothing cheesier on the planet than the married dude who slips his wedding ring into his pocket during a night out with the guys. Especially obvious during the summer months—the pale white tan line is an obvious tell. Sure, you can let him buy you a drink, but wouldn’t you rather bust his chops?
2. He’s Too Nice
This is not a slam on genuinely sweet single guys out there, but it’s a proven fact that men who are otherwise engaged are approximately a bazillion times nicer to women they’re trying to cheat with. They’re full of compliments, cocktails and crap.
3. The Invisible Man
Men who won’t post a photo of their face with their online personal ad will say they’re just trying to be discreet (wouldn’t want anyone at work to find out!) but nine times out of ten the only person he’s trying to hide from is the woman who wakes up next to him each morning.
4. Friend-Free Zone
Don’t you find it odd that the only one of his “friends” you met is that creep who hit on you the minute your man went to the loo? That’s probably because he’s too scared to bring you around his normal friends, who will either scold him for cheating or blow his cover.
5. TXT NLY
He’s in constant communication with you—but only via text. When you call him at night, he doesn’t pick up, instead texting back, “WUT UP?” WUT UP is that he’s sitting next to his real girlfriend or wife.
6. Disappearing Dude
Even the smoothest operator needs to keep the home fires burning, so your relationship will be peppered with unexplained absences.
7. Homeless Or Husband?
If your new man always insists on going back to your place, chances are he’s either shacked up with someone or (and this is possibly worse) still living with his parents. Mission abort!
| Comments (11) |
|
E-Mail | Share: |
|
Yonnie3k
[report]wrote on September 04 2008 @ 12:46 pm:
I’m gonna assume that your website is only for people who only date white men. Why else would your article state that a “pale white tan line is an obvious tell”?
Exclude much?
FabulousJoi
[report]wrote on September 04 2008 @ 12:49 pm:
That’s SOO true!
Amelia
[report]wrote on September 04 2008 @ 12:56 pm:
@Yonnie3k Sorry if that came off as exclusionary, we certainly didn’t mean for it to be. The point of #1 is that a guy who wears a wedding ring 90% of the time—black, white, Asian, whatever—will probably have a tan life of some sort on his ring finger that is paler than the rest of his skin.
hmmm
[report]wrote on September 04 2008 @ 03:04 pm:
‘...I’m here to tell you that being someone’s girl on the side is a sucker’s game.’
But what would you tell us about being a woman’s guy on the side?
call me 'al'
[report]wrote on September 04 2008 @ 03:26 pm:
i assumed this would be for the girls who are trying to talk to a guy but she isnt clear if he’s taken. all these points are for guys of scumbag material, whether single or not. haha
Bradpot
[report]wrote on September 04 2008 @ 07:52 pm:
I found the article rather humorous but a few points really bothered me. I just think that stating if he’s too nice, he’s cheating on someone is rather a blanket statement. I know you state at the beginning that it isn’t a slam on single, sweet guys but really it is; that kind of statement plants the seed of distrust in someone’s mind and further enforces the stereotype that women prefer the company of bad boys. As well, the invisible man...all I have to say about that is, have you ever lived in a small town??? Trust me, being discreet can save a lot of grief. And finally, I live at home with my parents. Not by necessity but by choice; my parents aren’t getting any younger and my father’s health is failing so it’s reassuring for them and me to be here to help them out and take care of them. I actually find it offensive to read the statement that living with your parents is possibly worse than a cheating husband! I have never cheated and don’t appreciate being thrown in the same lot as that scum.
Elisabeth
[report]wrote on September 05 2008 @ 09:07 am:
So true on the nice guy thing. It’s like they know what it takes to make a woman happy and they overlook our little imperfections.
My husband’s mistress thought he was the greatest guy ever, didn’t understand how I could let a guy like him stray. Until I threw him out (after 10 years) and he married her. All I have to say is she got what she paid for. Literally.
Matt
[report]wrote on September 05 2008 @ 01:07 pm:
I agree with Brad, for the most part. Nice guys really do exist. I wouldn’t look at that as a red flag. And while I don’t live with my parents, I hardly think that living with them is in any way worse than cheating on a spouse or committed relationship. It might not be helpful to a relationship.. but it’s not a bad thing in and of itself.
I’d say that what’s important is that the person is sharing of themselves, whatever their situations might be. If they’re having a gathering of friends, are you invited? Are they willing to let you visit their abode? Are they willing to even tell you where it is? Can you call them anytime to talk and reasonably expect an answer? Will they meet you out in public? Do they ALWAYS have to leave to go do something after you’ve been together a fairly short time? Are they meeting you right after work a lot?
However, I think most of this stuff assumes that you’re starting to be spend a lot of time together. The problem is spotting the cheating person BEFORE you get to that point. ANd I don’t know if there’s an answer to that. I think you just have to keep your eyes open.
Chris
[report]wrote on September 05 2008 @ 02:48 pm:
I take offense to the living with the parents thing as well. I’m a grad student and I live with my parents. They’re nice enought to let me stay there for free so I can save some money while I’m in school to be able to move out when I graduate. They are also getting up there in age and it’s good to have someone around to help them out. I really hate it when women jump all over that as if it’s some sort of tell tale sign of a loser. I’m a very goal oriented hard working person and before you judge me, at least listen to my story.
Kris
[report]wrote on September 05 2008 @ 11:55 pm:
Yes it is a good sign that living with your parents is bad. I would not put it in the same catagory as a cheater or worse. I do think that you need to live on your own and I do not care that your parents are getting older line, so are we all. If you are just doing it because your in school, then get out and get a job. Men will do just about anything for a little booty......lol
Anonymous
[report]wrote on October 06 2008 @ 12:12 am:
I have to agree about the nice guy thing. If a guy that is somewhat out of your league is being overly nice to you then that should raise a red flag. Also, if he’s way too willing to overlook your glaring imperfections then that is a red flag too.