Crying After Sex, Really?

=]
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 12:52 pm: [report]

I cried after my first orgasm o_0
It was pretty awesome, the eye-leaking happened without any warning or anything hah.
My bf wasn’t embarrassed, neither was I, we took it as a good sign actually haha.

Hasn’t happened since, don’t think it’s that weird though.

Typewriter
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 12:56 pm: [report]

It’s happened to me before. I was mortified. He didn’t know what to do or say, but I apologized and explained that it was really intense and I was PMSing. We’re pretty disgustingly in-love, so he understood and we kind of laughed it off. It would have been much more embarrassing if it had been a casual fling, I think.
It was only that one time, though, thank god!

Coral
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 01:06 pm: [report]

I think the tone in this article is really insensitive. I have cried after sex plenty of times—mostly with my current boyfriend. I don’t purposely do it, it just sort of happens. I have been sexually abused many times in the past, which makes sex difficult to enjoy sometimes with guilt, shame, and a dirty feeling. Ultimately, this will lead to tears..my boyfriend is very understanding—and I think me showing my emotions actually helps us bring our bond together even more.

Riley
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 01:07 pm: [report]

I’m already as helpful as a doorstop with crying people in general, post-intercourse crying…pretty sure I’d have to fake a seizure and head to the panic room to get out of that.

bethlynn00
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 01:10 pm: [report]

I cried after sex once and it totally freaked my boyfriend out.  It actually had nothing to do with the sex, I was just really upset, because my brother was in the hospital, really ill, and his partner had died that day after a short battle breast cancer, so I was really upset, but my mom like forced me to go out (I was at home for the summer during college at the time) and not hang around the hospital with everything going on.  I hadn’t told him about any of what was going on and so right in the middle, I just couldn’t stop tears from coming and he literally lost his erection once he saw me crying.  And he tried to comfort me, but I didn’t want to tell him what was going on, because we had only been together for like 2 months and I thought that was too soon to put so much on him. We never had sex again, he dumped me the next week and said he felt like “I didn’t know how to communicate with him and that made him not trust me” or something like that.  So I learned two things: 1. I shouldn’t have sex when I am upset, because crying freaks men out and 2. Crying before/during/after sex will freak men out.

chasingstars
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 01:16 pm: [report]

I’ve cried after sex twice: once with my first boyfriend, when we had sex AFTER breaking up and I realized (much too late) that he was just using me, and the second time with my current boyfriend, for a totally different reason. I felt relief, I felt security and I felt an overwhelming sensation of love (both physically and emotionally).

C.Munro
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 01:20 pm: [report]

There may be crying in baseball, but I don’t want to deal with it in sex.  I’m pretty sure I’d want to get far, far away if one of my partners cried after sex.  During?  That’s boner kryptonite.

k_roja
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 01:21 pm: [report]

I’ve cried during/after sex before, but not like weeping; just a huge release of emotion that sort of spills out into tears and is sometimes joined by laughter.  This does not happen frequently, only once in a while, and with guys who I’ve been in a serious relationship with.  If they see the tears and ask what’s wrong, I just let them know it was totally amazing.

Also, on perhaps a related note, I come easily and frequently, and am not a total crybaby in every day life, like Amelia says she is.  Maybe that’s the difference??

JenniferRly
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 01:26 pm: [report]

I think there are lots of POVs here…
Some small tears after something very emotional? Sure.  As a result of working through a history of sexual abuse? Hell yeah sister, and good for you for getting through it. 
Often, loudly and without reason?  Not so much.

draymond
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 01:40 pm: [report]

Normal?  Yes.

Typical?  No.

Really, and I mean REALLY confusing to the guy? Absolutely.

So I don’t often say that guys are entitled to anything regarding sex, but in this case if you cry during or after sex the guy is completely entitled to an explaination.  If it isn’t something he did wrong then ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ is not acceptable ever.  Guys are a lot more emotionally vulnerable during sex than they let on to be.

majicksand
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 02:06 pm: [report]

I cried after sex once but not for any of the reasons previously stated.  The relationship was over and I knew it, but I was still trying to make it work.  We had sex, but there was no intimacy, no connection any more.  I rolled over and silently cried myself to sleep because I knew it was really over.  I’m not sure if he noticed, but at that point, it didn’t matter.

Jitterbugs232
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 02:15 pm: [report]

I got teary-eyed in the first part of my relationship with my now boyfriend, it wasn’t the best sex but I think it was the rush of all the emotions

shellerbee
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 02:58 pm: [report]

Every now and then, I get really teary after sex. I wouldn’t say it’s full-on crying, but there’s definitely some tears falling it. My partner (of 2+ years) doesn’t mind. I think he might find it sort of endearing. Interestingly, it never happened at the beginning of the relationship. I guess this means there’s more of an emotional connection with the sex now than there was before?

SueSue
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 02:58 pm: [report]

When I was a teenager, I used to habitually cry right after wards, it was a sucky phase due to past abuse as well and I luckily had a long-term, really understanding boyfriend who helped me through that.

More recently, I tear really hard right after a really intense orgasm, but that’s only happened twice so far.  It’s friggin’ amazing though!

Midnight
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 02:59 pm: [report]

I cried once.  It was because I had made a mistake and really probably shouldn’t have slept with the guy.  I realized that afterward, but I at least waited till he left the room.  By the time he came back I had myself put together and left shortly after.

Raugiel
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 03:03 pm: [report]

I cried once after sex with a new partner shortly after ending a long-term relationship. It told me I was NOT READY to be hopping in the sack again.

Humble Bee
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 03:16 pm: [report]

lol Raugiel,
the exact same thing happened to me! I felt like an idiot, I didn’t want to cry, i actually didn’t know I was crying until he was hugging me and saying, its ok. I was like, what’s OK? Oh i’m fu*cking crying, god I’m lame. I guess I was just thinking about him too hard, and my eyes just started running.

jovialkobet
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 03:57 pm: [report]

I have cried during and after sex twice, both with my husband now. The first was because I was just so happy and emotional!! and the second was the first time we had sex after he came back from deployment after nine months, I was so happy to see him. Both times he laughed and held me telling me how much he loves me. I think crying is completely normal and any guy who freaks out about it when we do it out of love is a freak himself, and girls if you haven’t done it either you aren’t emotional or he doesn’t make you feel that deeply.

GypsyQueen
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 04:09 pm: [report]

Well… I’ve never full-on cried, like sobbing, but I earlier realized that there were two tears trailing down my cheek after my boyfriend had brought me to two really, really intense orgasms in fairly close succession. I mentioned it to him, and we think that it might be because the release was so strong that I temporarily lost control of other physiological responses [he’s very scientifically minded]. But this is the only time it’s happened so far, and it didn’t freak him out or anything. Of course, I waited until after we were finished to say anything—didn’t want to spoil the mood. ^_^

equnsuocha
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 04:14 pm: [report]

I can honestly say this has never happened to me.  Now I am jealous that I have never had a tear worthy orgasm :(

loveitlala
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 04:29 pm: [report]

I think people who cry during sex have glorified the act a bit too much.  For me it’s much more physical than emotional and I love it that way.  I get my emotional #&@$% with romance movies thankyouverymuch.

b_brilliance
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 06:17 pm: [report]

I’ve wanted to cry after sex with my s/o, but never have because I’ve always been afraid it would just creep him the f**k out.  And even though we’ve actually had a discussion about this and he said he would feel ok about it if I did, I don’t think I ever would.  I’m not sure I would ever forgive myself lol.

MissBliss
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 07:18 pm: [report]

Yes, I have. I just shared this on Facebook, too. I find it more unusual that it has never happened to the author. I have talked with over 10,000 women about their sex lives and this is a pretty common occurrence.

In my own personal life, it always felt more like a chemical or hormonal reaction to the physical intensity of the sex. I am pretty sure the hormones and endorphins that start pulsing through a woman’s body after great sex can create all kinds of reactions.

I have been super giggly after great sex. I have felt the tears well up in my eyes from the intensity of the orgasm and the physical contact.

I haven’t actually cried, but I have felt the tears and felt like “omg I am going to cry” but I have been able to control myself and just was very aware of what was going on so I didn’t end up in a big mascara smeared mess.

I think it’s natural on occasion and I think we should help women who this has happend to to know that it’s not weird. It’s just a natural human response some times.

AnitaBath
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 08:14 pm: [report]

I’ve cried after sex. Granted, I was like fourteen and didn’t want to be having sex but was continually pressured into it with the douche I was going out with at the time. It was after he cheated on me with a few of my friends, and he’d park at an abandoned baseball field (oh, the irony) and guilt trip me and belittle me until I finally did whatever he wanted.

I’m pretty sure I cried just because I was so miserable and felt like I had no control. I wasn’t happy in the relationship, but I “looooooooved” him. Plus, the fact I was so young and emotionally unstable didn’t help. Growing a backbone seemed to fix most of my issues. (I’m not bitter…)

But, I’ve never cried after sex since then. I probably just have this goofy grin on my face.

meredith806
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 08:21 pm: [report]

I’ve come *close* no actual tears, but I felt that little prick lol.  It was just an insanely emotional night lol.  I had just told him about my past abuse, as well as the fact that I had had a not so friendly run in with said ex a few days before.  Long story short, I was just completely overwhelmed by everything, in a good way.

John of Chicago
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 09:19 pm: [report]

Crying during sex is one of those BIG RED FLAGS in a relationship.  In most cases I know of, it was because there was something terribly wrong in the relation.

I even had a GF break down crying once during sex.  Turns out, she had just emotionally given up on the relationship AND had just cheated on me.

meredith806
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 10:02 pm: [report]

I have once.  Mind you not full on waterworks, but there was a tear or two.  It had just been a crazy emotional night.  I had just owned up to my past abuse (which I had NEVER told ANYONE about), as well as the fact that I had a not so friendly run in with said ex a few nights before.  So I was just completely overwhelmed, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so close to anyone, it was a phenomenal feeling;)

Ghirardelli
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 11:57 pm: [report]

I totally disagree. I’ve never cried after sex before, and crying while having sex is a big no.. But I can imagine that it would be kind of sweet. Not sobbing. No that would just be creepy, but a few tears would tell me how much he cared. And I wouldn’t be embarrassed at all to cry, you’re just letting out intense emotions. Completely cool.

onewriter
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 12:20 am: [report]

@bethlynoo I think you missed the big lesson there….communication.  Your bf probably felt awful and if you had just told him, well, chances are 85%-95% that he wouldn’t have dumped you.

As to crying, well, it had been three weeks since my SO and I had been able to get together “that way” and just after we started, I felt absolutely emotional and sunk down on him with my face in his neck and shuddered.  He held me and I told him it had been too long to go without loving him.  No, he didn’t lose his erection, I wasn’t bawling, and things were just intense for a few moments.  After about a minute or two at the most, we resumed our…“togetherness” lol and the end result was really good.

Brooke
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 01:50 am: [report]

In my opinion, the only acceptable bedroom tears are the tears that come right before amazing make-up sex.

onewriter
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 07:10 am: [report]

That is sad.

diabadass
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 10:22 am: [report]

Not ashamed to say I’ve cried after sex a couple of times and I think it was completely normal. It wasn’t as if my orgasm was interrupted by snot and tears, but the post-coital snuggle when I’m feeling all taken care of and connected with my bf seems to be the time when I’m most likely to give in to a couple of tears if I’m going through something. It also pretty much guarantees he’ll help me through it, since the other option is running away while he’s still pantsless and sweaty

LostInStars
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 12:20 pm: [report]

I cried once after sex. No idea what the eff happened. We have this pretty good sex (not amazing, not awful, but good) and I start crying. He laughed about it, but I was confused. Fortunately it hasn’t happened since then.

sebaceous
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 06:11 pm: [report]

I have “leaked” after some pretty amazing sex…I was overwhlemed by the love I felt for the guy and by the fact that we had great sex—never had those two met before in my world!  I hid them behind my post-sex sweat

anoldguy
wrote on November 4 2009 @ 09:17 pm: [report]

Hmmm. I’ve been right on the edge of tears immediately after sex twice – once with each ex – because, I think, that’s the moment when it really sank in that the relationship was o-v-e-r, whether I liked it or not. No matter your gender, that little epiphany is not a lot of fun.

Ex #1 cried once for several minutes after sex – it was the only time in our more than a decade together where we’d had our orgasms more or less simultaneously. I admit to being completely confused by her tears, but she insisted it was because the experience was so “beautiful.” I thought she was overdramatizing it, but 30 years down the road, I’m inclined to think maybe she was just especially emotional that particular night, and now that I’ve read all the posts above it seems like a pretty normal phenomenon. Amelia may not do it, and I don’t do it, but lots of others obviously do.

Gloom
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 11:01 am: [report]

I’ve cried after sex only once. I guess it was one of the best times that me and my boyfriend (of two and a half years) experienced in bed (at least for me). Right after we reached orgasm, I started laughing and crying with no control over it. He was happy to see me laughing, but got worried when he saw the tears. I just explained that it was so good and the feeling after the orgasm was so overwhelming, that tears just started rolling down my face. He smiled.

NaughtyPrincessBecka
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 06:45 pm: [report]

I agree that crying after sex is totally uncalled for. I’ve had lots of sex with different emotional connection levels and never cried over anything bad or anything good. In fact, I usually pass out after a good orgasm….does that mean I’m a guy!?! LOL!
My bestie (who’s a guy) hooked up with his now-GF for the first time and she cried during and after!! I asked him what he did, he said he didn’t mind because she explained why she was so emotional and he took it as a good sign that she really liked him. I would have kicked her a$$ out! I guess this means I have a Zero Tolerance policy for crying after sex!!

chickbabe
wrote on November 5 2009 @ 11:13 pm: [report]

To those ladies that think it’s terrible/embarassing to cry after or during sex, shame on you.

We’re women, we are naturally emotional creatures for the most part, and sex to us is usually an emotional experience. To cry is to express emotion.

I’ve come very close to tears a few times after sex with my guy. The first time was because it was right after losing my virginity, and that was a big deal to me. I was so pleased that everything had gone well. Like, I hadn’t expected my first time to be so amazing, so ya, I shed a tear or two. Other times I’ve cried a little because I know that I’m close to having to let him go and not see him for a while; I’m in a long distance relationship—we see each other about once a month. Sometimes I don’t know when the next time will be that we see each other, so I’m usually sad to say goodbye and right after sex is when I’m especially vulnerable to my emotions.

Anyway, the point is, I don’t think it should be shameful or embarassing at all. If you’re worried that your guy will freak out, maybe he’s not the best guy to be with. I mean, it’s ok for them to be worried about you, and wanting to know what’s wrong, but if they freak the f*ck out,to the point where they lose their erection for goodness sakes, that’s not cool. Perhaps they can’t help it, but I dunno. I just think the guy should man up and be more understanding.

Unless you say you’re crying because he sucks at sex, then he can freak out.

amylou
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 01:18 pm: [report]

it only happened with my current, long-term bf, and when it does happen, it’s after a crazy orgasm that seems to knock my brain loose… he was just happy that i came so hard, it wasn’t weird at all. you pretty much can’t help it sometimes.

onewriter
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 01:19 pm: [report]

@NPBecka, I find your lack of any emotional understanding rather sad, but wherever you are at is fine for YOU.  Don’t knock others for where THEY are at in the emotional arena.  If your “bestie” is happy with what he’s got, good for him. 

Sex at worst is an act, at best involves emotions and thought and to try and ban one section of your humanity because you think it is “uncalled for” will not work well in the long run.  I wish you well in the mental health department and hope you aren’t squelching your feelings on a regular basis.

flirty lee
wrote on November 6 2009 @ 03:04 pm: [report]

I have cried after sex a few times, all when with my current boyfriend. I never understand why I do, we will be happily cuddling and all of a sudden I’ll start the waterworks! I think it has something to do with the fact this is the first time I’ve been truly in love, but not sure past that…

Luckily, he’s very understanding and whenever I apologize for crying, he just says “No sorry. It gives me an excuse to hold you tighter and kiss your tears away”(eeeeeeee so adorable!).

amanda lynn
wrote on November 7 2009 @ 04:00 pm: [report]

the rush of emotion has overwhelmed me & i’ve cried after.  luckily i was sort of laughing about it in a ‘what am i doing?  why am i crying?’ way so my guy was ok with it.  he actually seemed flattered.

Mikannamla
wrote on November 9 2009 @ 08:41 pm: [report]

I don’t cry after I orgasm, it usually starts after my boyfriend does. He loves it when I cry, I think it’s an ego boost for him =)

lovedalot
wrote on November 10 2009 @ 10:02 pm: [report]

I have cried after sex many many times. i believe the reason is that if u are very prone to ‘grand mal’earth moving orgasams some type of hormones are released that make it inevitable. but i also believe that as women we are more emotional when sharing our bodies and sometimes we need that release.I also think that there are more reasons but im gonna keep it short.

majicksand
wrote on November 11 2009 @ 09:02 am: [report]

@lovedalot: I don’t cry after those; I scream during.  Hormonally I think it amounts to the same thing.  One of these days my neighbors are gonna call the police.

Fast Eddie
wrote on November 12 2009 @ 08:13 am: [report]

I had a girlfriend that sometimes cried during and after we had sex.  The first time it happened I stopped, thinking that she was in pain.  She explained that it was emotion not discomfort.  It happened a few times and I came to accept it as normal for her, thus becoming part of the love that we felt for each other.

SouthOC
wrote on November 12 2009 @ 11:11 am: [report]

Most people can relate to crying during a well written TV commercial that tugs on the heart strings.  Often times it’s just an outlet for something deeper that has been lingering.

Sex is one of the most intimate behaviors we can experience.  Sometimes the physical release promotes an emotional release.

Sometimes my wife cries after a Big O (when she’s on top) just before she’s ready to start her period.