Crimson Chronicles: How I Came To Love Red Hair
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
style
11:30AM, Wednesday October 22nd 2008
I was born a redhead, but these days when people ask if my hair is natural I’m not sure the honest answer is still ‘yes.’ I started dying it shortly before my thirtieth birthday when my once fiery locks began fading a sort of washed-out auburn shade. At first, I was in denial about this sad sign of aging. I convinced myself it was seasonal, as my hair always darkened a bit in the winter, but when summer rolled around and my hair was still drab, I had to face the fact that youth wasn’t the only thing time was robbing me of; it was also trying to steal my identity.
As a kid, I could never really decide if my red hair was a gift or a curse, but one thing I was sure about: it certainly made me stand out. I spent my childhood in Asia, too, where redheads are about as common gun racks and pick-up trucks. Sometimes I think I can imagine what it might be like to be a celebrity (minus the money, great wardrobe, and lavish lifestyle, that is) if only because I was practically hunted as a child. There was the staring and pointing that followed me everywhere, but strangers used to touch me, too — all the time. Someone once told me it was considered good luck to rub the hair of a redhead, so in lines, at restaurants, in crowded stores, people would reach out and pat me like I was somehow familiar to them — a child of old friends, perhaps — and not just some random kid waiting in line for a Happy Meal.
To make matters even stranger, neither of my parents have red hair. As a kid, I was convinced I’d been adopted, not just because my parents were brunettes, but also because they’re giants (6’ and 6’4”, respectively), while I was such a diminutive, little thing (even as an adult, I still stand almost half a foot shorter than my mom). Despite my maternal grandfather’s red hair, it seemed unlikely at best that I could be a biological offspring of the family, so a favorite activity of mine was guessing which redheads on TV and in the movies were my real mom and dad. They had given me up to pursue their dreams, I reasoned, a trait I romanticized above all others.
As a teenager, while I finally accepted my parents as the real McCoys, I had more trouble accepting my hair. I wasn’t all “Anne of Green Gables” about it — it wasn’t like I hated myself for it or anything, but I was definitely keenly aware that none of the popular kids had red hair. The girls who always dated the cutest boys, the ones who ended up on the Homecoming Court year after year were blond and brunette and tan. They didn’t burn in the sun like I did and their faces weren’t dotted with countless freckles. It wasn’t enough anymore to be different, what I really wanted was to be pretty.
So it’s ironic, really, that as soon as I started appreciating my hair as attractive — sexy even — it began fading. I credit the onslaught of redheads in pop culture over the last decade for my radical self-acceptance. Actresses like Julianne Moore, Lauren Ambrose, Amy Adams, and most recently, “Mad Men’s” Christina Hendricks have done for redheads what Google has done for cyberstalking. They popularized red hair, made it cool to have crimson locks…but at exactly the same time I had to start paying for mine. Shortly before I started coloring it, I asked a stranger in a store if a particular pink sweater I was thinking of buying clashed with my red hair. “You don’t have red hair,” she replied. “It’s really more strawberry blond.” I didn’t buy the sweater that afternoon; I used my money to buy my first dye job instead. I still think of myself as a natural redhead, though. After all, I haven’t forgotten my roots.
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Hayley
wrote on October 24 2008 @ 02:51 am: [report]
I know exactly where you’re coming from. I too had bright red hair growing up but since has dulled to a strawberry-blonde. I’ve thought about dying it (because I miss my red hair) but life in the military (on the verge of an assignment to Iraq) will not allow me to keep up with it. I do have one up on you with the finger-pointing though: I’m 6’3’‘.
wendy
wrote on October 24 2008 @ 04:38 am: [report]
Wow, 6’3”, you win!
I hope you have a safe tour in Iraq and a speedy return home.
Lee
wrote on October 30 2008 @ 09:51 pm: [report]
I have been reading a little bit about red hair, and the genetics of red hair. I’m interested because my mom and 4 out of 8 her siblings have red hair. Neither of her parents had red hair, and none of her children do either. However, I just had my 2nd baby, and she has red hair. I don’t know if it will stay red, but that’s what got me interested in learning about red hair.
Whew! That was a long preface. What I really wanted to comment on were two things (that are related). I read earlier tonight that red hair gets darker as you age, which has been happening with my mom. Her hair was bright copper when she was growing up. It was a very pretty red when she got married and started having babies, and has slowly been getting more and more auburn. It now only looks red in direct sunlight, or a camera flash etc.
I can understand what you mean about the store clerk not thinking you had red hair, but you still feeling your roots. Everyone keeps asking me where my baby’s red hair comes from, and I keep saying “Duh! My mom, the redhead!” only to have people (who know and have definitely seen her)say, “Your mom has red hair?!”.
It’s strange for me, because I guess I still feel her roots too. She will always be a redhead to me, and my dad (who affectionately calls her “Red”).
dmjones
wrote on September 15 2009 @ 10:04 am: [report]
I know I am late on commenting about this, but I completely understand what you are saying. I am going through the same thing.
I am from a family of redheads, although neither parent has red hair. Of 7 children 3 have red hair and all 3 are different shades.
My auburn color has started to fade over the years and I admit to the occassional gray hair as well. Because I only started to appreciate my coloring after a stranger approached me for the dye number, I now want to keep it as long as I can. I love being a redhead!
So, even though I enhance my natural color, I still consider myself a natural redhead.
OctoberLady
wrote on September 15 2009 @ 01:29 pm: [report]
I am a redhead, late 40’s so my very dark red hair is turning white at my temples and near my ears. I have to get it dyed now occasionally, but I also consider myself a natural redhead. :D
I am one of 4 “children” and have one brother with red hair. (His is more a carrot orange than mine.) Neither parent has red hair—my mother is half Italian, in fact. I go to family reunions of the Italian side and totally don’t fit in, looks-wise!
But this is no surprise since the gene for brown/black hair is dominant and the gene for red hair is recessive.
So, yes, you can skip a generation (or two or more) because a brunette can be a “carrier” of the red hair gene.
None of my grandparents had red hair, and none of my 8 great-grandparents did either. It’s way back at the great-great level it shows up.
Anyway, I always hated my red hair growing up because I too noticed that none of the popular kids had red hair. Many boys—and girls—told me I was “ugly”. I certainly never ran across guys who were “into” red hair.
But, of course, now that I’m married and my red hair is turning white, I suddenly appreciate it. :D
Red Charlotte
wrote on September 15 2009 @ 07:38 pm: [report]
I find this article fascinating because I felt the exact same way growing up. Although I am still in my early twenties, it took me up to college to finally love my red locks.
Growing up I hated my red hair, but my mother (who also has red hair) would never let me dye it. The pretty and popular girls in high school were the girls who had the blonde streaks or long brown hair. I always felt different and awkward because not only do I have red hair, I’m almost 6 feet tall too. I never accepted either until my college days. I still thank my mother to this day for not letting me dye my hair; it saves on salon costs!
Luckily, my hair color hasn’t changed much growing up. It used to be the bright carrot color, but has slowly faded into a darker, deeper red. I am the only redhead out of my 4 sisters and they have all different shades of blonde and brunette, but with traces of red highlights in the sun. Funny how genetics work!
I will always consider myself a natural redhead and I am proud to be rare (because I’m also left-handed).
CheezeDoodles
wrote on September 15 2009 @ 07:54 pm: [report]
Red hair is just…amazing, stunning, and a whole bunch of other wonderful adjectives I don’t have space to list. I wasn’t born with it, so I get it created about every 3-4 weeks.
Like the author, I burn after just a few minutes in the sun. It’s as though I’m melanin-free; I can only dream how much worse it’d be were I a real red and had freckles. I would probably bust into flames in minimal sunlight.
The kick that red gives to my self-esteem and confidence is beyond measure. I’ve been everything but blonde, and when I have The Red on, I am over the moon and unstoppable.
Brunette by nature; red by passion.
bluejeansandpearls
wrote on September 15 2009 @ 10:41 pm: [report]
Natural redhead here. I couldn’t escape it… my mom has red hair. So does my brother, sister, even my (step)dad! I hated it growing up… being called carrot-top, pippy longstockings, etc AND i couldn’t stand it when people wanted to touch my hair “for luck” but let me tell you… i wouldn’t trade it for the world now! It helped snag me an awesome husband, who is not a redhead BUT has red highlights in his facial hair, and together we had a beautiful little girl whose hair is not red :( but she’s only a year and a half so there’s still hope! Keep your fingers crossed! :D ps: to any young reds out there that aren’t in love with their hair… don’t change a thing! Being unique is what sets you apart from the boring!
amosjo
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 09:02 pm: [report]
My mom is a redhead, and so are her 3 children—my sisters and me. My mom is one of 10 children, 5 of which are redheads. None of my grandparents were redheads. None of my 3 kids have red hair.
Like everyone else, I hated being a redhead as a child, probably because I was the only redhead in the whole school (except my sisters), and I hated being different. It was around Jr. High and High School when I noticed the popular girls were starting to dye their hair red, and I started to appreciate my natural color because of course all their attempts looked ridiculous. They couldn’t even approach anything as nice as my natural color. I even had a stylist tell me she tried to dye her hair my color. I get very positive comments on my hair all the time, usually from complete strangers.
I’m now 33 and have yet to find a gray hair (halleluia). I had short hair most of my life but grew it long starting at 30 because I realized I’d better make the most of it while I still have it. Like a lot of other people, my hair is darkening with age, which I really like. It started out very light strawberry blond as a child, but now is a medium red, darker underneath, natural blonder highlights on top. (Can you tell I love it?) It’s also very thick and full of body. It’s the one thing about me physically that I think is perfect. I will be crushed when I start to go gray, hopefully not for quite a few years yet, because you can’t get this kind of color from a bottle.