Confessions Of A (Maybe?) Excessive Drinker
Posted by: Anonymous
Filed in:
news
11:50AM, Tuesday August 11th 2009
Last night, I got drunk. (A few too many Blue Moons.) The night before that, I got drunk. (Vodka tonics.) The night before that, I got really drunk and accidentally made out with a dude two degrees skeevier than I would normally go anywhere near. (Shots followed by champagne.) The night before that, I ... got drunk. (Blue Moon. Again.)
I bet you’re starting to notice a pattern here.
I’m completely ashamed to admit it, but in the last two weeks there have maybe been two or three nights where alcohol did not figure heavily in the proceedings. The more I think about it, the last few months have felt like an all-out assault on my liver. I’ve developed a foolproof plan for how to make sure I can wake up the next morning and go to work without feeling like total crap. Chug two glasses of water before bed. Eat an everything bagel in the morning, and drink an iced coffee an hour after that. Carry Pepto-Bismol chewables with me in case my stomach rebels.
I’m worried about how much I’m drinking. I don’t think I’m an alcoholic or in need of a 12-step program, but I do think it’s disturbing that when I just Googled the term “binge drinking” and saw that the definition for women is four or more drinks in two hours, my first thought was, “That’s not so much.”
I don’t think I’m alone here. I say that because most of the drinking I do is done with female friends who drink just as much, if not more than I do. And the statistics bear this out on a larger scale. The number of women arrested for driving under the influence has increased 28.8 percent since 1998, while the number of men arrested for the same has actually dropped 7.5 percent [AP via ABC News]. I only wish Diane Schuler could have been one of the ones arrested, rather than what ended up happening to her. Of the 15.1 million people in the country who are alcoholics or alcohol-dependent, a full third are now women [About.com]. And on college campuses 55 percent of the people who meet the criteria for alcohol abuse are ladies [NY Mag].
None of this is good. Statistics show that alcohol has some nasty effects for women. Women are more prone to alcohol addiction than men. We develop liver diseases, particularly cirrhosis and hepatitis, much more quickly than men. Ditto for brain damage. Studies show that women who drink two to five drinks per day have a 41 percent greater chance of developing breast cancer than those who don’t drink at all. Not to mention fertility issues [About.com].
So, why, even knowing the health risks, does it seem like women are drinking more and more? I can’t speak for women at large, only for myself—and I’m self-aware enough to know that I’m self-medicating. What can I say? I’m going through a rough patch. I’m still feeling down after an out-of-the-blue breakup a few months ago with a person I think there’s a decent chance could have been the love of my life. While my career is going well, thirty is quickly approaching, and I’m just not where I imagined I would be. I’m sick of sitting at home. The truth is that, with alcohol in the mix, I have fun. I’m not so cerebral and analytical. I let my hair down—I don’t hold back the jokes that occur to me on the fly, and I can walk up to hot guys with no fear of rejection.
I know it’s time for me to cut back. I’m not going to get all preachy and tell you to do the same. But, I’m curious. How much do you drink a day? A week? Does it feel like the right amount, or does it feel way excessive?
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adventurekait
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 10:55 am: [report]
I’ve been on the same path, because I’m leaving town and I feel compelled to go OUT and see the people that I’ve lived with, worked with, hung out with, and dated in the last five years. But I haven’t been to sleep before 4 AM in two weeks and I think I can actually feel my liver hurting. I’m ready for a break.
skywalk
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 11:06 am: [report]
Try owning a bar- I’ve always like to go out drinking at least once a week and when I mean go drinking I mean binge drinking. Now that my husband and I own a bar we go out 2 or 3 nights (sometimes more) a week because the place is busier when we are there. But I have a full time job so going to work hung over a few days a week sucks and your judgment is not what it should be.
Riley
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 11:11 am: [report]
Just a little bender, I wouldn’t worry about it. With personal friend happy hours, co-worker happy hours, workplace dinners and other work-related events I can sometimes forget that I have been out drinking 6 of the 7 nights in a week. Not necessarily legally drunk, but at least one or two before I get home.
I know what you mean about binge drinking, seems a little low, no? I don’t boast about drinking ability; but I say the same thing you do about 4 drinks.
I believe the number for binge-drinking is the same regardless of gender.
My only tip is moderation, the most common tip I know. I have started doing a 2:1 ratio, one drink for every two rounds everyone else drinks. Of course, being hung over every morning helps wean you off the heavy stuff.
Nursing a beer is no longer a bad thing when the people making fun of you for it have DUIs and you don’t.
Raugiel
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 11:17 am: [report]
I’ve noticed periods in my life where drinking was a much more regular activity than I think is really good for you. A stint where my band was playing a lot, and getting paid in free drinks only, comes to mind, as well as a few college summer vacations…
When I got worried, I made it a rule not to drink two days in a row. I break that rule on occasion now, but I’m also only drinking a few times a month. The “day-between” rule seemed to help break the habits mny body seemed to be developing, and give me a good sober day to feel the pain I’d caused myself.
sadie
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 11:21 am: [report]
A break up and rough patch can definitely trigger a bout of drinking. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You will probably grow tired of boozing it up and knock it off before too long. Just make sure you don’t let the booze make you do something dumb like driving drunk or unprotected sex.
_jsw_
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 11:28 am: [report]
During my first few years of college, I fit that pattern each school year - lots of drinks, lots of nights, and four drinks in two hours seemed like a slow pace. Years later, after a particularly bad breakup, I got to the point where I drank so much tequila that I actually started to like the taste. I’d sip it because it was so good. And we’re talking José here, not some top-shelf brand.
In both cases, I snapped out of it once the driving factors (sudden freedom from overprotective parents, breakup blues) ended. Now? I might average a drink a month.
If you’re not an alcoholic, binge drinking is usually a sign of some deeper issue, and if you’re lucky, you’ll emerge from the spree with your health, your friends, your driver’s license, and your freedom from incarceration.
maroon
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 11:33 am: [report]
i grew up with two alcoholic parents and it took me a VERY long time to realize how much is too much on a regular basis, because alcohol was always around in the house and in abundance. i’d say right now (stressed out PhD student, long distance relationship, ailing family members) i’m drinking more than usual- which is to say about 1-2 beers a night, and on the occasional (okay, kind of frequent) bad day it’s a bottle of wine down the hatch. i can’t swear “never again” when i overdrink, but my body is finally telling me with erratic sleep patterns, bloating, and general blahness that i’ve got to cut back, and slowly but surely i am.
bumbler
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 12:22 pm: [report]
I guess I will never have this problem. Alcohol makes me nauseous. Not falling down drunk makes me nauseous, moderate amounts of alcohol will have me in the gutter. I’m the girl who nurses a beer for 3 hours.
powplz
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 12:31 pm: [report]
I’m happy to have found a nice medium - strong enough stomach to partake in the bottle of Jameson floating around the campsite, but experienced enough to know when to stop and prevent myself from getting falling-down drunk (that’s happened 2 times in 1.5 years - more than enough for me).
Most weeks I’ll maybe have one beer total, though it absolutely depends on the situation. In the summer, more friends are around and it’s nice to just go OUT more, so I’ll drink 1-2 drinks a few nights a week. If the bf is out of town for weeks/months at a time in the winter when I’m on my own a lot more, I’ll go weeks without a drink and not even notice it. Being cheap helps too though, given how fast bar tabs add up.
Also, watching my gung-ho friends get overly wasted, and seeing a few enter rehab only encourages me to continue to pay attention to how hard I roll. It also really makes me appreciate that my bf doesn’t do that, because sometimes we really just seem like the odd fish out in this area.
spanishdoll
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 12:36 pm: [report]
Being fresh out of college, I had my share of binge drinking and body rebellions versus alcohol. It took me a long time to realize that my problem was usually taking shots. I made a pact to never take a shot, only stick to mixed drinks. I also happen to be very stingy, so going out to bars means I almost never buy more than 2 drinks per night.
Once I weaned my body off of binge drinking, I found I didn’t really crave more than one or two drinks, and that I prefer having one nice glass of wine to a round of cheap vodka.
Riley
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 12:43 pm: [report]
@Joyy - Cheap is the Ace of sobriety, haha. I like to call it being frugal or economicial though; “being responsible” if you are keen on being dull.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 12:45 pm: [report]
@Riley: ‘Cheap’ would be buying beer in keg form.
Wheezylicious
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 01:34 pm: [report]
i hear you, sister. I have always been social and that led to drinking in social settings. I was going out many times a week and always drinking. I wouldn’t get drunk every time, so I thought that was fine. Then one chilly January night, I somehow managed to get wet my 3 month old iphone in beer due to my tipsyness (yes, i just invented that word). Not only that, but it was done on a night i saw an old bf…I was so mad at myself! I saw how I was drinking to get away from stuff (i.e. #&@$% economy, no new boys, etc) so I decided to give up drinking for lent. That felt good to be in control of my habit and see that i have the willpower. I’ve been back to drinking since, but less and am trying to cut if down more, maybe 2-3x a week. I like the “not 2 in a row idea” too.
bogart4017
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 01:34 pm: [report]
Hating going to bars helps also. There is usually a fight simmering under the surface somewhere. I stopped going to bars in the 80’s for this reason. Also try being the only one sober in a room full of people who have been drinking for about four or five hours. You’ll either be on the wagon in no time or you’ll spend the rest of the night trying to catch up (which you never do) and then regretting it in the morning. I’d rather have a drink or two at home. I"m more inclined to run thru the shower and hit the sheets real early.
B
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 02:28 pm: [report]
Like many, I’ve been there. Actually, I’m currently going through a breakup of my own, also with a person whom I believe really could have been love of my life. I’m consciously avoiding drinking (except one night out of the two weeks since we broke up) because I know alcohol is a depressant.
Several years ago, I used alcohol as a substitute for a person with whom I was in a serious relationship once we broke up, and that got me in THE WORST spot in my life, with a rebound girlfriend that turned out to be THE worst person I’ve ever met.
While it absolutely sucks losing someone you love dearly, stay strong! I admire (and am striving to be) someone who handles their problems rather than flood them with alcohol and carelessness/recklessness in attempt to make everything seem like a fab getaway.
theoldman
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 08:50 pm: [report]
Having been the spouse on the other end of an alcoholic, it becomes really tough to see the one you loved become the green eyed monster. Jealousy and fear of another woman when I would be out of town on a business trip, made life a living hell. So remember when you drink you are pushing those who love you away and there will come a tipping point where they say no mas.
Given the difference in body mass and the higher metabolic disposition by the liver for men, a single drink will have 40-50% greater impact on a woman than a man. a 20% by volume mixture of alcohol and other ingredients has the highest adsorption rate. So mixed drinks have double or triple the impact of wine or beer. One mixed drink in an hour’s period can put a woman at .05 blood alcohol(measurable impairment of cognitive function) and two in an hour to an hour and a half will put you over the legal limit. That is the point where it also produces a personality change.
I am a German as well as a US citizen and I love my beer and wine but you have to know your limits. I am 195cm and 110kg and for me that is 2-3 beers or 2-3 glasses of wine depending on alcohol content in two hours. That is a point where there is measurable impairment of brain function. Physical impairment begins with another 1-2 glasses. I know what mine are because I participated in a study at UTHSC. Most people don’t realize how little it takes.
B hooray for you most people do not understand how addictive alcohol can/will be.
BlueVibe
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 03:17 pm: [report]
Find another stress-reliever, and find people you like whose social lives do not revolve around alcohol.
I have to be honest: Drinking makes me feel worse. Not physically worse (I generally stop at one drink), but emotionally worse, because not only am I still depressed the next day about whatever I was depressed about that led me to drink, but I know I’ve used a “coping method” that doesn’t actually help me resolve my issues and will damage my health in the long run. So, I’ve effectively kicked myself while I’m down.
purplestar
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 08:48 am: [report]
Any notion that you may have a problem with alcohol signals that there is a deeper underlying issue. I believe there is a line where someone goes from a problem drinker to alcoholic, but where that line is crossed, it is too late to go back. I haven’t had a drink in over 6 years because I realized at 23, that i had a severe problem and that my covering up with my boozing wasn’t making anything better. i felt so much worse and things even got crazier than just waking up with someone i normally wouldn’t have. I have no shame anymore admitting that I’m an alcoholic. It was far more shameful to me doing the things that I was doing when i was actively drinking. And I’m definitely an alcoholic, it goes way past just the physical drinking. It is a disease. Anyone who doubts that, look up alcoholism. Good luck on your journey to moderate drinking!
Uglyhat
wrote on August 18 2009 @ 11:15 am: [report]
Newsflash: People who don’t have drinking problems don’t wonder if they have a drinking problem. Non-alcoholics don’t wonder if they’re alcoholic. Drinking to excess is neither normal or healthy, but its ‘fun’ because it impairs mental function. Ponder and rationalize your behavior as you will.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 18 2009 @ 11:19 am: [report]
@Uglyhat: Relax and have a beer. Or 12.
scb197
wrote on August 18 2009 @ 12:31 pm: [report]
I used to drink about 10 beers every single night. That’s give or take 70 beers a week. It stopped when a friend of mine I always drank with left town, then I went to that particular pub less. I met my fiancee and he is not a big drinker at all. I don’t drink nearly as much. I’d say 4 beers in one night a week. Sometimes weeks go by without drinking at all. It is definitely a self medicating thing. Realizing it is the hard part.
Pot Luck Mama
wrote on January 22 2010 @ 07:02 am: [report]
I’m a backslider or binge drinker, whichever you prefer. I rarely drink during the week or only have a couple. I can go out on a weekend and have fun without drinking (this took practice). Still, sometimes I just get in that mood and I drink and drink and drink…and then I wake up confused and disappointed with myself…why did I do this again?