Chris Brown Starts Community Labor

I know what you’re thinking—there’s a typo in the headline and that it should be “Chris Brown Starts Community Service.” But you’re wrong—Brown’s judge specifically sentenced him to hard “labor,” and his supervising police chief has grand plans for him to remove graffiti, pick up trash, wash cars, and maintain grounds. Chris whacking weeds has already drawn lots of media and fans who want to watch (thanks for the boring videos, guys?), so he had to personally pay for extra guards to protect him. Hopefully after six months worth of hard labor, Chris will think twice before laying a hand on a lady. Also, someone make him put a shirt on. [LA Times]

So how does Chris’ service compare to other Hollywood folks who got themselves in hot water with the law?   

• Naomi Campbell was sentenced to 200 hours (note: Brown has 180 days) of community service for assaulting two police officers at Heathrow airport. She was forced to serve food, sort used clothing, and help administratively at the East End homeless center in London. [Marie Claire] — I hope they kept her away from the phones. I hear she’s got an arm on her.
• After she got caught shoplifting in 2002, Winona Ryder was sentenced to 480 hours of community service. She served her hours at the City of Hope medical center. [NY Times]
• Snoop Dogg got 800 hours of community service for felony gun and drug charges. His judge agreed that half the hours could go to working with his youth football league and the rest would involve working with nonprofits. [MSNBC]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor managed to turn what would have been a tiny traffic violation into charges for battery of an officer, driving without registration or a license, and driving with an open container. She was sentenced to 72 hours in jail and 120 hours of community service. [Pop Crunch] — What a saucy little old lady!
• Kid Rock had a fight in an Atlanta Waffle House in 2008 and was charged with battery, but what really got him agro was his judge not letting him serve his 80 community service hours by singing for troops. Kid Rock wrote on his website, “I really take it as a slap in the face, and really have trouble thinking of a better way to ‘serve the community.’” The judge responded, writing, “Giving him credit for something he would otherwise love to do in front of a camera completely defeats the punitive purpose of performing community service.” [Celebrity Mound] — Personally, I think the troops have been through enough suffering without a visit from Kid Rock.
• Lindsay Lohan had two bouts of community service. First, she spent 10 days in 2007 working at the American Red Cross blood services center. [Hollywood Grind] And in 2008, she served two days working at a morgue followed by two days in an emergency room for her two DUI charges…apparently to scare her away from drunk driving. [Gossip Boulevard] — It must be terrifying to be bleeding to death in an emergency room and see Lindsay Lohan hanging around, text messaging in a corner.