Cheating SC Governor Mark Sanford’s Wife Doesn’t Stand By Her Man, Thank God
Posted by: Jessica Wakeman
Filed in:
news
2:50PM, Wednesday June 24th 2009
Sen. Mark Sanford, the Republican governor of South Carolina, admitted at a press conference this afternoon that he has been having an extramarital affair with a “dear, dear friend” in Argentina for the past year. Incidentally, he and his wife were on a trial separation.
Cuckolded wives and politicians go together like gravy and mashed potatoes. Maybe the wives aren’t surprised—Sanford’s wife apparently knew about his Argentinian affair for months—by the cheating the same way as the public is. But what gets me every time is when Silda Spitzer stands up next Eliot while he grovels for the public’s forgiveness, or Elizabeth Edwards invites Oprah into her home to talk about John’s affair, or Larry Craig’s wife, Suzanne, walks hand-in-hand to his press conference where he denies being gay. I just roll my eyes.
Personally, I don’t care if they choose to stay with their husband or not. But whatever “crisis advisor” suggests to them that they should present a unified front underestimates the fact that some women don’t like watching other women look like total doormats.
We can’t condone violence on this blog (hi, lawyers!), but if I were one of those wives, I’d slap him in the face and pack my bags. And I certainly wouldn’t participate in my cheating husband’s sorry-ass hangdog public apology.
Bless you, Jenny Sanford, for not being at your husband’s side at the press conference in which he admitted his affair. Your husband confessed at his press conference, “Jenny has stood by me through campaign after campaign, through hard time after hard time, and neither she nor the boys deserve this.” And in her statement, Jenny Sanford said:
“I believe wholeheartedly in the sanctity, dignity and importance of the institution of marriage. I believe that has been consistently reflected in my actions. When I found out about my husband’s infidelity I worked immediately to first seek reconciliation through forgiveness, and then to work diligently to repair our marriage. We reached a point where I felt it was important to look my sons in the eyes and maintain my dignity, self-respect, and my basic sense of right and wrong. I therefore asked my husband to leave two weeks ago.”
Kudos to you for, this time, not standing by your man.
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CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 02:58 pm: [report]
Yay, if you can honestly ‘yay’ for something like this, for once!
venusian
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 03:05 pm: [report]
Agreed—Elizabeth Edwards is a good example of wives who don’t just leave. Even her latest book supports her husband’s ridiculous behavior and her interview with Oprah defended it. These wives get trampled in the mess.
jteo
wrote on June 24 2009 @ 04:05 pm: [report]
Thank you, Jenny for doing what millions of women should do—leave!
What message does it send to women and girls when victims stay with their cheater? If roles were reversed and a woman cheated on her man, I bet the men would leave!
Jessica Wakeman
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 06:21 am: [report]
@jteo It’s interesting that you’re calling Jenny a “victim.”
soytrucknutz
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 06:44 am: [report]
It’s remarkable to me that so many Republicans want a woman like Sarah Palin to be their president when they could have a woman like Jenny Sanford.
Jessica Wakeman
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 07:01 am: [report]
@soytrucknutz Haha, are you saying Jenny Sanford should run for president?
jerseybelle
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 07:03 am: [report]
I, too, am glad Jenny didn’t appear at the press conference. Good girl. But if you read her official statement, it’s laden with contradictions. She asked her husband to leave with the plan being this would eventually strengthen their marriage. She’s open to forgiveness, eventual reconciliation and believes “Mark has earned a chance to resurrect our marriage.” Seriously? He skipped off to Argentina the second Jenny gave him walking papers. How does that earn him a change to salvage their marriage?!
mandy_nc
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 08:08 am: [report]
venusian and the other commenters - Have you read Elizabeth Edwards book? I have and it has very little in it about John’s affair. Why do women compare Elizabeth’s marriage situation to Jenny Sanford’s? Does Jenny have incurable cancer? From what I’ve read I think the Edwardses have stayed together only because of the medical situation and the small children. What are the ages of the Sanford boys? Personally I support women who make the best decision for their family situation - be it staying or leaving.
CraftLass
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 08:36 am: [report]
You know, statistically, we don’t leave. Men or women, cheating rarely breaks up a marriage. That’s a good thing. Marriage vows do include a vow of fidelity, but they also are, “For better or worse.” Cheating is part of the worse. If more marriages broke up over cheating the divorce rate would be far more appalling! Very few people take the other parts of the vow seriously, so why single out this one aspect?
I’m not saying everyone should stay with a cheater, and this is a particularly nasty case of cheating. Frankly, if I were Jenny Sanford, I’d divorce him for being a hypocrite more than the affair.
Often, an episode of cheating does strengthen a marriage if the couple takes the right steps to build trust again and really uses it as a wake-up call to highlight the problems within the marriage. Cheating doesn’t happen without problems already existing. So, you can use it as an opportunity to grow or to cut and run. Whatever is best for you is the best choice, no cookie-cutter solution like divorce applies.
There is so much more to every story than who slept with who, and every marriage is just as unique as we are.
Jessica Wakeman
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 10:02 am: [report]
@CraftLass You’re right that every marriage is different and no one-size-fits-all response applies, but I personally, admire Jenny Sanford for knowing what she wanted and saying “not anymore!” when it wasn’t given to her. She had standards. I think too many people allow themselves to be treated like s**t because they think they’re just ‘supposed’ to put up with it. There’s lots of things couples put up with in a marriage, but I think a months-long love affair with another woman is a reasonable thing to say it’s not OK.
In her statement, she said she took her marriage vows seriously and that is something I admire.
CraftLass
wrote on June 25 2009 @ 12:47 pm: [report]
@Jessica Wakeman: Oh, I agree in this case, this is more than just cheating. He’s a scumbag and it all came out in one whorl and I’m betting I’d dump him myself for a multitude of reasons. Plus, it sounds like she has been struggling with this for some time before making her decision, which is what you SHOULD do. Divorce should be a difficult decision and not the first answer to any problem (unless there is abuse, of course).
Still, I don’t think it’s taking your vows very seriously to simply bail and I feel bad for women who honestly do try to repair things after an affair and get lambasted for it (like Elizabeth Edwards, we have no idea what her marriage is really like and should laud her for both staying true to ALL her vows and also for making him work hard for her forgiveness and to rebuild trust instead of dismissing their years of marriage as a sham or something). Someimes it seems like the only part of the vows that people talk about is the fidelity factor, which is ironic since it’s the easiest part to break.
Not every woman who stays is a doormat and some affairs are definitely worth leaving over.
binkymom
wrote on June 26 2009 @ 04:49 pm: [report]
Woman Power!! I am so glad that Mrs. Sanford is “killing this fool with kindness”. Does he realize that his wife setup his stupid behind? She could have easily lied about his whereabouts, but she chose to leave the door open for some “hungry investigative” reporter. Mrs. Sanford is in her protective role; and her primary concern is the well-being of her 4 boys.
The governor does not realize that he has sacrificed a great deal of his sons’ respect and love for some “exotic” South American woman’s vagina. He was led by his penis, and it’s going to cost him dearly. Anytime a man disrespects and humiliates the mother of his children, he is causing them pain that will not soon disappear. His sons may forgive him, but they will never forget they way he has mistreated and embarassed their mother in a very public manner.
I’m glad that Mrs. Sanford, along with my other sisters, are finally realizing that we do not need a man in lives at any or all costs. We can’t afford to keep giving up our dignity, strength and pride for these worthless, selfish, pieces of skins. Once again, Gov. Sanford proves that when you give a man a little “authority”, money and position, the first thing he will do is become a “wandering whore”. It’s sad and pathetic that most of the men in our lives have not matured and realized that the world IS NOT THEIR OYSTER!
They have responsbilities, legal and moral, that they need to adhere to. As women, we don’t have the time or energy to give these grown men refresher courses in what it means to be a selfless, mature and committed adult.