Everyone’s Talking About Dick These Days
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
guys
12:30PM, Thursday May 28th 2009
Rumor has it, Jesus Luz, Madonna’s current Brazilian boy toy, is rocking an uncut member, Shia LaBeouf confessed to Playboy that he isn’t well-endowed, and Jared Leto reportedly has the biggest (living) dong in Hollywood. After the jump, celebs dish on the packages they were given or were happy/unhappy to receive.
“I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie. It put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed … and clearly this wasn’t the move.” —Shia LaBeouf in Playboy
“I said I had a small penis as a joke. And they took it literally when it is not the truth. So when people find out it’s not the case they are pleasantly surprised.” —Enrique Iglesias
“I’m proud to see his penis 25 foot tall. It’s great. It’s huge. It’s enormous. Massive. If I looked like that I’d walk down the street in my panties too.”—Victoria Beckham on David Beckham‘s penis
“I had a penis implant!” —Robert Pattinson on his nude scenes for “Little Ashes”
“I know the reason that it was cut out was that it just wasn’t right. If anything, it’s a beautiful, gentle moment and a f**king large c**k with huge balls, is just f**king jarring.” —Colin Farrell on why his nude scene was cut out of “Alexander”
“I love Ewan McGregor. He’s got a beautiful penis! I’m like: ‘Yeah, man, uncircumcised!’ That’s nice.” —Rosario Dawson
““I’m not worried about how small my penis is — I’m worried about how dark it is. I have a Dominican penis. My penis hit six home runs last year; my penis wears shoes without socks.” —John Mayer
“I’m not a real big fan of penises. Like my own, whenever I look at it, I just don’t find anything attractive about it. I can’t believe girls are into it. It blows my mind a little bit.” —Pete Wentz
“He’s not very well-endowed. If you’re going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work.” —Kim Mathers on her ex, Eminem
“I’ve been a porn actress for three years and Jared was the most I ever had to work with. There’s definitely a second career available for him if he ever runs out of mainstream work.” —Corina Taylor on having sex with Jared Leto
“I helped raise him and I can assure you there is nothing wrong with him physically.” —Sadie Bomar on grandson Justin TImberlake‘s penis after Britney Spears insinuated he had a small member.
“It looks like an egg in a nest. This girl once said to me, ‘Who are you going to satisfy with that little thing?’ I said, ‘Me!’” —Johnny Knoxville
“Nick’s small package was a problem sometimes, like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn’t really feel much, I faked the whole thing, I really felt sorry for him, I still loved him though.” —Jessica Simpson on her ex-husband, Nick Lachey
“You tighten up like a hamster. The first time it happened, I turned around and went, ‘You know, there’s a thousand people here and I don’t think even one of them would expect you to look your best in this situation.’ I am terribly self-conscious.” —Daniel Radcliffe on appearing nude onstage
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Annika
wrote on May 28 2009 @ 01:05 pm: [report]
So John Mayer is a d-bag and a racist?
HitOrMissJudy
wrote on May 28 2009 @ 01:34 pm: [report]
Thank you, Johnny Knoxville, for completely shattering my crush on you. And it makes perfect sense that Jared Leto is hung like a baby’s arm—there is no other reason in the world for that man to be so cocky. Pun intended.
Kiki T
wrote on May 28 2009 @ 01:38 pm: [report]
@judy I also heard that JK is a hotbed of STDs…and Yeah, hate that Jared Leto too! He went to HS with one of my best friends and made racial comments to her! Total #&@$%!
...and btw, I’d still do JK in a hazmat suit!
Kiki T
wrote on May 28 2009 @ 01:39 pm: [report]
and @Annika yes, John Mayer is a total a-hole. I don’t get what people are into him. He’s a pasty gross loser that makes me want to bark with his #&@$% music.
Humble Bee
wrote on May 28 2009 @ 02:13 pm: [report]
haha, Rosario Dawson’s comment was so funny.
I agree, I can’t stand John Mayer, he looks like that one annoying friend we all have, that just loves all the attention and will never shut the f*ck up about themselves.
Jared Leto wears eyeliner.. no thanks, don’t care about your richard.
EarthGoddess
wrote on May 28 2009 @ 03:32 pm: [report]
I miss when Jared Leto looked like Jordan Catalano ... one of my all-time TV crushes. *sigh*
Oh, and Ewan McGregor is my all-time fave .... he’s the total *ahem* package *ahem*. Yummy beyond words!
bogart4017
wrote on May 29 2009 @ 12:54 pm: [report]
I’ve often wondered about the fascination with the male member. Size matters, doesnt matter, etc. Nothing really matters if you have no idea what you’re doing.
Laineylew
wrote on June 1 2009 @ 12:22 pm: [report]
@bogart
Completely agree.
Honestly, its all about how you use it, and how two partners work -together- to satisfy each other.
Its just as much about how the lady works it as her partner.
Captain Planet
wrote on December 24 2009 @ 04:56 pm: [report]
i must agree with bogart and laineylew… recently had to take muscle relaxants after a car accident. TRUST ME, both partners MUST participate for it to be ANY fun for anyone!
MintJulep
wrote on December 25 2009 @ 04:20 pm: [report]
i tried that “little richard” thing, ya know, for love, but it got stale…quick! give me a king dong anyday, e.g.
**colin farell
**trey songz
**nick cannon (mariah looks happy)
**ewan mcgregor -or- clive owen
p.s. john mayer is not a sex symbol. he’s a weirdo that looks like larry from three’s company.
kingnbabetting
wrote on December 25 2009 @ 08:57 pm: [report]
very well said…
arika
wrote on December 26 2009 @ 12:13 am: [report]
What a stretched-out slutty #&@$% is Jessica Simpson to publicly bag on her ex and say she had to fake an orgasm with her boyfriend cuz his dick wasn’t big enough? “But I still loved Him” Puh-leeze. Maybe she just has a bit too much tread wear.
lrthorne
wrote on February 4 2010 @ 11:40 am: [report]
Arika….well said. All Simpson did was make herself look like a petty little ho-bag. Nick is well rid of her.
Ewan McGregor: any minute of any hour of any day of the rest of all time!