Catholic Church Wants You To Pray Then &%$#
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
news
10:15AM, Wednesday September 2nd 2009
If you’re Catholic and you know it, pray before sex! Roman Catholic couples are being encouraged by the Church [UPDATE] prominent church group the Catholic Truth Society to say a prayer before sex in order to “purify their intentions.” Cause, you know, sex shouldn’t be about fun. The Prayer Before Making Love goes, ahem:
Place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes. Open our hearts to you, to each other and to the goodness of your will. Cover our poverty in the richness of your mercy and forgiveness. Clothe us in true dignity and take to yourself our shared aspirations, for your glory, for ever and ever.
The next time I’m having sexual relations with a man, I am going to say this prayer, just to see what he does. Will it scare him? Or add a new level of kink? [Daily Mail]
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lea322
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 09:24 am: [report]
I’m not really sure that I see how this makes sex not fun. It might seem sort of awkward to some people, but essentially it’s saying, “let’s have some good, trusting, selfless sex!”
powplz
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 09:29 am: [report]
I think the first sentence is actually quite nice. How can that intention not lead to good sex? As an agnostic though, the rest of it totally skeeves me out, not to mention the creepiness of the church dictating what happens in the bedroom ... yikes.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 10:01 am: [report]
Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. // For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen, NOW SHOW US THEM TITTIES!
*sam*
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 10:06 am: [report]
Speaking as someone who’s had a “fling” with a would-be priest (ordained by the Catholic church but then decided not to join), all I can say is had I known this prayer at that time, it would have been really sexy. (call me weird, but there was just something about tainting someone ordained by the priesthood that was, and still is, incredibly sexy)...
z3nger
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 11:06 am: [report]
LMAO good idea Amelia I’m going to do the same and record his reaction!
effing hickster
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 11:11 am: [report]
As an ex-Preacher’s Kid, I feel that this would seriously weird me out.
Just another example of the church trying to have control over our private lives.
Reminds me of the girl I tried to get a date with while attending a private Quaker university (only because dad taught there). I was being quite nice about it, yet assertive, so she told me that I had to ask her dad for permission. She said that’s the way it had always been done.
When her dad started laughing, that’s when I knew I’d been set up. I foolishly forged ahead anyway, simply to prove my point. On our first date, she insisted we pray before the meal, though I had never seen her do it before. My interest in her vanished in a puff of smoke that day.
wonder_bread
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 12:29 pm: [report]
i think the point of this is to include God in one’s sex life because to some sex is also a way to worship God when ur married. the two souls becoming one under the sacristy of marriage… im assuming if ur shacking and up or havin flings or dont believe in God or live the lifestyle, this doesn’t apply to you…because ur already not honoring God with ur body… but if ur married and live the lifestyle its just another way you could include or remeber God in all you do.. so it wouldn be weird it would be well, normal… the prayer doesnt sound like its trying to make sex less fun..
spanishbutterfly
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 12:34 pm: [report]
Wouldnt this only apply if u were married, since when did the catholic church condone sex before marriage??
an this would totally creep me out, i cant even touch myself while layin in bed if i just so happen to see my bible on my night table.. i get scared thinkin God is watching me lol ( yes i kno thats dumb)
writergirl
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 12:38 pm: [report]
Place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive…
And now the Church is telling me I can’t fake and orgasm. DAMN! Where was this prayer when I needed it?
writergirl
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 12:39 pm: [report]
*an orgasm
not “and orgasm”
WhiskeyJenn
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 01:07 pm: [report]
Hmm…considering I am actually a card-carrying member of the Catholic Church, I’d think they would you know…shove something more blatant in there about the “welcoming of children”. They do love doing that. Then again, I’m always a little scared that the Pope will show up at my door the next time I pop a BC pill. Bad Catholic!
Yikes. And yes, we don’t condone sex before marriage…whoops?
MarkJabo
wrote on September 2 2009 @ 02:07 pm: [report]
Please, God .... don’t let her spot the video camera…