Strong Women And Love

Can Powerful Women Find Love?

Posted by: YourTango.com Filed in: relationships
10:00AM, Thursday May 7th 2009

Today, more women than ever are wildly ambitious and intellectually curious. According to Harvard Business School’s e-publication “Working Knowledge,” women now make up 35 to 40 percent of business school applicants; women also make up the majority in the undergraduate populations at more than one Ivy League college.

According to the BBC, the average woman’s workweek is now half a day longer than it was five years ago—sometimes with more work waiting to be done at home. The media has coined the term “alpha female” to describe these assertive, strong, successful women who are big on work.

But how do these hyper-ambitious alpha females navigate the dating land?

What’s an alpha female to do if she wants a male counterpart as ambitious and powerful as she? Historically, men have been breadwinners and women have played the supporting role, and that made up a huge part of gender roles and the balance of masculinity and femininity in relationships.

The gender landscape certainly has shape-shifted: women are entitled to their capabilities and desires to earn professional success and money. However, they’re not automatically entitled to a supportive boyfriend who is completely, totally cool with his girlfriend or wife being just as successful (if not more!) than he is. While a power couple could fuel each other’s success (like Bill and Hillary Clinton), because of outdated ideas on women’s roles, men might look outside the relationship to have a gentler, more amenable feminine presence in their lives (like Bill and Hillary Clinton). While it sounds retro for successful women to be wondering whether their power will turn men off, unfortunately, it’s often a pertinent issue.

Want to read the rest of this article? Visit YourTango.com or check out these related links:

Four Steps to Finding Love

You Don’t Luck into Love: How to Find It

When “He’s Not My Type” Ends up Being “The One”

comments

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on May 7 2009 @ 10:17 am: [report]

More power to ya’, but if it hinders me getting into law/business school I’m gonna be pissed.

Personally I don’t see why this is an issue anymore, everyone works, and to succeed you need to put in lots of hours. However to have a kid you have to sacrifice, it’s just impossible (Highly unlikely) to go through childbirth and a couple months afterwards, and then raising a good one (Meaning being around, not working 60-70 hours a week), and having a successful career with lots of power. Believe me, I’m not ‘hating’ it’s just very very unlikely for the majority of people (Unless you have a stay-at-home husband whom can actually do the laundry).

theattack
wrote on May 8 2009 @ 01:02 pm: [report]

Cheese:
Good point, but us alpha females don’t always want babies, for that very reason. For those of us that do, we have to think about what we’re willing to sacrifice of ourselves and what we’re not, and we may not be able to have them for that reason.
Unfortunately a lot of men aren’t willing to sacrifice any part of their careers for their children, and women that have already had them have to let go of their dreams to change diapers.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on May 8 2009 @ 01:05 pm: [report]

@theattack: Of course, to get where you want to in life you have to sacrifice. I’d like to retire young, so I really don’t want kids, that just me. I hope someone else can fit into my dream as well.

theoldman
wrote on May 8 2009 @ 07:27 pm: [report]

@theattack women like you perpetuate the problem of men avoiding strong women. LOL just kidding If you grow up with strong women in the house, that is what you look for and expect. My mother graduated summa cum laude in math in the 40’s so that is the role model, if you will, that I and my two brothers judged by. My sisters-in law are tenured faculty at major universities, my wife was a better engineer than I was. As for power couples, I give you Elinor and FDR, Lady Bird and LBJ, and Michele and Barak Obama. All three more accomplished than Hillary and Bill. So it isn’t impossible it takes someone who considers/wants you to be his absolute equal. It takes patience and diligence they don’t just drop in your lap; I know I did it once and am doing it all over again as a widower.

Bonus
wrote on May 23 2009 @ 07:38 am: [report]

First, I’m a guy. I just want to say, when you meet a woman and then learn she is of a higher socioeconomic status than oneself, she ceases to be thought of as a realistic potential romantic partner.

You think, ‘Oh, she wouldn’t be interested in me’, and, the guy would be correct. She would want someone better than her own position in life. Women marry/date up.

You certainly feel ‘Oh, what would she actually need me for?’. ‘What would my long-term role in her life be?’. As an accessory? That is not very appealing. Men like/need to have a role to play in life. If they don’t feel they have a concrete role to play anywhere, they will just drift and amuse themselves.

I believe this isn’t cultural, and will not change. Ever. These dynamics are grounded in biology/evolutionary psychology.

PS: Any men who deny this dynamic are not being truthful with you. They are either of limited life experience, or they are weasels seeking your approval for some other intent.