The Most Outrageous Beauty Product Claims Ever
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Here at The Frisky, we love our beauty products. Discovering a magical moisturizer that makes one’s skin smoother than a baby’s bottom is akin to Christmas morning giddiness. That’s why when a beauty product fails to live up to its exalted claims, we’re more like depressed kittens. Rather than sulk and skulk, we’ve found an antidote: Cosmedicine is sponsoring the “Protest Beauty BS” video contest. The gist is that you create a video which spoofs an “unrealistic or misleading skincare advertisement.” (Contenders are, however, prohibited from using any real false products. Legal reasons?) Contestants can upload their videos beginning August 4th until September 14th. As if you need any incentive, there’s also a cash prize of … $5,000! Inspired by this most brilliant challenge, we put on our Nancy Drew hats and did a thorough investigation into beauty and skincare products that claim to do the miraculous but seem to leave you with zilch. Click on to journey through the murky waters of the most outrageous false advertising this side of the sun.
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Tags: breasts, boobs, beauty galleries, funny pictures, beauty products, wtf, weird
Comments (6)
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averardoll
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 08:12 am: [report]
Royal Jelly is kind of like honey.
_jsw_
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 08:36 am: [report]
I don’t what your issue is with these, Frisky. I like most of them. I’ll review them in reverse order because, um, I’m at the end and I can write this as I go back through them.
Ooh… I think I’ll be buying some Pinknipple Cream for myself, as my nipples seem unconditioned. They’re pink enough, but I’m not sure they’re as rosy as they could be, nor as conditioned. I’m not sure what “conditioned” means in terms of nipples, but I’ll find out!
And SmartDouble has “nanomolecules” to “help penetrate effectively.” I have to get this product, because the ones with gigantic molecules are not all that helpful and just feel, well, like sand. Which hurts. And, hey, anything that helps me to penetrate effectively has to be good, right? *winks seductively*
The Finale Whitening Cream should be helpful for making my iPhone gleam like new. Also, it might make my nipples even pinker.
I think I’ll avoid F-Cup Tea unless I’m feeling a bit backed up.
I don’t think I have any use for the Intimate Tightening Serum, unless maybe I overdo it on the F-Cup Tea and am the opposite of backed up.
I’m definitely going to try out the Bust Up Cream, just down below *winks again* *points seductively* because “firming and enlarging” sounds good. Wikipedia tells me that royal jelly “has also been reported to stimulate the growth of glial cells and neural stem cells in the brain,” which doesn’t mean a lot to me, but I see that it does mention growth, and I do often think with my penis, so this seems like a product for me.
Rose
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 08:47 am: [report]
Royal Jelly is secreted by bees as food for the queen bee. Not quite like honey, but there’s the bee connection.
averardoll
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 10:22 am: [report]
Glial cells are the support system of neurons. Anywho, these products all seem to be made from a Thai company. This explains the whitening products here, as isn’t skin bleaching unfortunately in vogue.
_jsw_
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 10:32 am: [report]
@averardoll: I knew that - I was just attempting humor. Poorly. :o
tracy122683
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 02:35 pm: [report]
@ _jsw_ That was great! I really enjoyed your comment. Thanks!