Bristol Says The Darndest Things

When Bristol Palin got knocked up at age 17, she made national headlines. We applauded her for realizing that “everyone should be abstinent or whatever but it’s not realistic at all,” and we were hopeful (for three seconds) that she would turn this unfortunate situation into a positive one by promoting safe sex. But when she said seconds later that “you should just wait ten years,” we got on her case. The girl is a walking contradiction. And it hasn’t stopped there.

Bristol’s next step was becoming a teen ambassador for abstinence, showing the world that “practice what you preach” doesn’t apply to her. And in a new People interview, she decided she’d offer up some more ignorant thoughts about teenage sex.

No matter our sexual views, I think we can all agree on one thing: We are sick and tired of Bristol Palin. I would like nothing more than to see her disappear into the Alaskan wilderness. But first, I’d like to pay my last tribute to the lovely lady by listing some of her best quotes:

“If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex. […] Trust me. Nobody.”

Um…No. We realize them. We just choose to use protection!

“I think abstinence is like, like the, uh, I don’t know how to put it like, the main, everyone should be abstinent or whatever but it’s not realistic at all.”

“Regardless of what I did personally, I just think that abstinence is the only way that you can effectively, uh, full proof way to prevent pregnancy… I just wanna go out there and promote abstinence.”

I smell a contradiction…

Chris Cuomo: Were you worried that [the pregnancy] would spoil your Mom’s campaign?
Bristol: Um, I never really thought about that, honestly.

Don’t worry, Bristol. I don’t think you were the only reason Governor Palin lost.

The girl can’t make her mind up about abstinence—but maybe that’s because she’s been sent mixed messages.