What’s Your Boyfriend Or Husband Criteria?

Shotputter
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 10:49 am: [report]

Buys milk when we run out

Congrats on the wedding, good luck!

writergirl
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 10:53 am: [report]

Enjoys doing the food shopping—something I HATE.

MichelleS1017
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 10:54 am: [report]

why is “likes sports” a minus? trying to deny him is manhood? most guys like sports…

GreenAura
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 10:57 am: [report]

I’m married, and here was my list prior to being married:
- polite to waiters/waitresses/bartenders, etc. (check!)
- funny (check!)
- intelligent (check!)
- has a soft spot for people in need (check!)
- taller than 5’9” (check!)
- appreciates the Beatles (check!)
- NON SMOKER (check!)
- wants kids (check!)
- loves animals (check!)
- good hygiene (check!)

Pluses:
- outdoorsy (check!)
- sensitive when appropriate (somewhat!)
- dresses nice (check!)
- well done tattoos (check!)
- clean shaven (check!)

Minuses:
- curly hair (nope!)
- drinks a lot of soda or alcohol(nope!)
- poor diet (nope!)
- no tattoos or bad tattoos (nope, he’s got nice work!)
- drives a big truck (nope!)

Raugiel
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 11:04 am: [report]

@Michelle - Although it seems “most guys” like sports, I’ve noticed that most of my guy friends have 0% interest in watching sports events of any kind. (Some of them enjoy playing a pick up game or something similar, but are not interested in watching on TV). My guy also has no interest in sports.

So, while there are obviously plenty of sports fans out there, there are plenty of men who aren’t interested, who (in my opinion) are perfectly manly!

Keesh Mia
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 11:13 am: [report]

@GreenAura.  Totally agree with your list! I have some too!

- Generous
- Smart with finances
- Loves to hug and smooch
- similar degree of messy/neatness
- never forgets my birthday

Pluses:
- no body odor
- Super sexy deep voice
- Really convincing when he tells me “Everything is going to be alright.”

Minuses
- obessessive behavior on anything thing
- wears super tiny bikini undies
- becomes Mr. Hyde when the lights go out
- uncontrollable “wondering eyes”
- never worked a day in his life

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 11:22 am: [report]

Musts:
-smart
-funny
-geeky
-history buff
-good job
-non smoker

Pluses:
-dead mother (if you had my ex mother-in-law you’d understand!)
-likes to play board games
-will clean if I cook
-makes a mean martini

Minuses
-hockey fanatic (in Canada, women become hockey widows 11 months of the year and I HATE hockey!)
-right wing
-know it all
-mullet and missing teeth (regional hazard!)

bogart4017
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 11:42 am: [report]

I don’t care much for spectator sports (except super bowl and world series). Nobody said anything about me being less of a man.

_jsw_
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 11:52 am: [report]

@tattooed_redhead: I should introduce you to my brother. I think he meets all of your criteria, except that our mother is alive. However, she’s pretty cool. I’m also not sure that he knows how to make a martini, but I’m certain he’s capable of learning.

sadie
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 11:57 am: [report]

My husband meets all my criteria,including:
pretty and slim with longish hair for me to play with
considerate and has nice manners
smart, educated and well-read
funny with a snarky sense of humor
likes animals
dances with me
doesn’t want kids
likes to travel (and prefers hotels to hostels)
smells good
vegetarian and values fitness/nutrition/healthy living
hates the burbs
liberal and environmentally-conscious
foodie and knows how to cook
fashion-conscious
pop culture junkie and willing to watch trashy tv/movies
good taste in music

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 12:03 pm: [report]

1 2/3 oz gin
1/3 ounce vermouth
Shake, strain, add one olive.

I don’t want to brag but I fit everything, except the hockey one. I f’ing love hockey.

belongsomewhere
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 01:14 pm: [report]

Here’s my list. My boyfriend (who I’m moving in with in two weeks!) meets most of it.

Musts:
-smart √
-funny √
-likes Arrested Development √
-sensitive √
-fun hair to play with √
-geeky √
-non-smoker √
-knows how to clean √
-good taste in music √
-gets along with my parents and pets (especially my cat!) √
-liberal and pro-choice √

Pluses:
-facial hair √
-dark eyes √
-bilingual √
-tall √
-calm in a crisis √-ish
-vegetarian
-non-religious
-likes NPR √-ish

Minuses:
-really into working out/looks like a body-builder (ew)
-sports fanatic
-lazy
-walks slowly √
-super-religious (deal-breaker)
-cologne

Queen Frostine
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 01:33 pm: [report]

√  Confident
√  Intelligent
√  Humble
√  Classy
√  Assertive
√  Driven
√  Independent

√  Charitable

√  Respectful
√  Thoughtful

√  Unprejudiced

√  Open Minded
√  Sense of Humor
√  Sense of Self Worth
√  Strong Work Ethic

√  Good Hygiene
√  Financially Responsible
√  Emotionally Stable
√  Low Maintenance

Being insatiably attractive and having things in common doesn’t hurt either.

DancerNinja
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 03:11 pm: [report]

Why all these “loves sports” as a minus?

Musts:
Intelligent
Witty/Goofy
Athletic
Likes cats
Prefers to eat at home
Must not care about me being all the above as well.

HotFudgeSundae
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 03:14 pm: [report]

Musts:
-Cynical sense of humor
-Smart
-Considerate
-Affectionate
-Independent
-Laid-back

Pluses:
-Likes to cook
-Will watch some of my girly tv shows
-Sexy stubble
-Nice family

Minuses:
-Plans his entire weekend around sports
-Tattoos
-Smoker

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 05:22 pm: [report]

@_jsw_ - bring him on!!

@ CheeeeEEEEse - I’m not a gin fan. Got a vodka one?

_jsw_
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 05:24 pm: [report]

@tattooed_redhead: I can get him there, but whether or not he gets on is entirely up to you.

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 05:25 pm: [report]

@_jsw_ - LOL he has no say in the matter?

_jsw_
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 05:31 pm: [report]

@tattooed_redhead: I’m sure he’d be into it, given the chance.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 05:56 pm: [report]

@tattooed_redhead: If you don’t use gin it’s not a martini.

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 06:04 pm: [report]

@ _jsw_ - then we have no problem!

@ CheeeeEEEEse - you are correct. But I can’t swallow gin.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 06:07 pm: [report]

@tattooed_redhead: Damn you James Bond!

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 06:11 pm: [report]

@CheeeeEEEEse - I can’t do a G&T either, it’s not just martinis. Don’t take Bond’s name in vain, you could wind up in the trunk of a car that’s hurtled over a cliff in Greece only to explode on impact.

retro chic
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 06:19 pm: [report]

You guys covered most of the +/-, for me add:

Musts: 100% Into me and vice versa
Pluses: All the good stuff above PLUS a degree, own business, and some coin
Minuses: All the bad stuff above PLUS uncreative/unromantic sexually
Dealbreaker: Not into me and vice versa

DancingGeek
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 06:25 pm: [report]

All great lists, this could morph into a Frisky version of online dating!

I have no list right now, I am in “happy being single non-dating mode”.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 06:29 pm: [report]

@retro chic: Oh I’m so not into you.

@tatty_irish_lass: I dislike tonic with a passion. Also, which Bond are you referring to? I am a Brosnan fan, but some people claim it can only be Lazenby. Another thing, if Bond is required to take me out I must be pretty badass, unlikely at the moment, but I’ll take it if chicks are involved.

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 06:39 pm: [report]

@ CheeeeEEEEse - I like my new name! Thank you!
I would be referring to Craig at this time (just watched Quantum of Solace again and combined a couple elements). I am a Lazenby fan - he was quite good, but his wife got involved in the contract negotiations and oops bye bye. And chicks are always involved with Bond, you should know that.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 06:44 pm: [report]

@inked_5th_element: I meant more involved with me, because then I would be a badass if I were killed by Bond.

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 06:49 pm: [report]

@ CheeeeEEEEse - 5th element! I love that movie!
Hmmm…how can we get more chicks involved with you? Where are you from? Maybe I have connections. We’ll make you badass yet.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 06:53 pm: [report]

@whistles_innocently_ http://www.archmaille.com/images/redheads.jpg :It’s all there in my profile.

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 06:57 pm: [report]

@ CheeeeEEEEse - OMG I’ll never recover from that Gouda action! That’s right up there with the furniture porn. Must go wash eyes, must go wash eyes….
And you’re just a puppy! I don’t know anyone in Jersey, sorry. Do you know anyone in Ontario?

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 07:04 pm: [report]

@canadian_allison_hannigan_plus_tattoos: No, just Montreal. :(

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 07:27 pm: [report]

@CheeeeEEEEse - it’s always Montreal. I only know people who used to live in Montreal!

_jsw_
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 08:22 pm: [report]

Aw, shucks. I go away for a bit, and CheeeeEEEEse has flirted tattooed_redhead away from my brother. Alas.

Oh well. His (my brother’s) loss.

retro chic
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 08:22 pm: [report]

@CheeeeEEEEse: I’m so flattered, fromage… I didn’t realize we had a deal to break. Farewell, mon ami :(  *blowing kisses*

_jsw_
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 08:23 pm: [report]

@retro chic: So, anyway, I have this brother….

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 08:42 pm: [report]

@everyone not involved with commenting on this post: You are nuts.

retro chic
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 08:44 pm: [report]

^ yeah, yeah. They all have “brothers.” Tho, jsw, your mother is a plus… keeps you guys trained and civilized between marriages.

Oh, add to list:
Plus: must be domesticated – yet fun and wild
Minus: just not too domesticated

Antiquity
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 08:51 pm: [report]

I thought I was the only girl out there that like guys with big noses… I guess not. lol. Good to know I’m not alone.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 08:52 pm: [report]

@Retro Chic: OMG domesticated? Fo’ serious? You think we pee on toilet seats on purpose?

writergirl
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 09:19 pm: [report]

@cheeese—How freaking hard is it to hit a hole six inches in diameter!?  So yes, you guys do it on purpose…or you’re all lazy.

retro chic
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 09:23 pm: [report]

@CheeeeEEEEse: *tsk-tsk* Oooo, you ol’ sh*t starter, you. No matter my comment goes to jsw’s. No “fo’ serious” – just a casual TIC ref among postmarried / divorced with *gasp* meaning other than toilet talk – so, have a martini…

_jsw_
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 09:47 pm: [report]

@retro chic: I think my daughters do a better job of keeping me trained. They’re young, and I don’t want to provide a bad example to them just yet. But yeah, my mom trained me well. And, btw, I don’t offer my brother lightly.

@writergirl: That’s why we always need to put the seat up. Yes, the target is not tiny, but, er, how to say this… the flow is not always laminar. And that isn’t our fault.

Symian
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 10:23 pm: [report]

-Knows when to be in charge.
-Knows when to let me think I’m in charge.
-Knows all the channels cartoons come on.
-Knows I am his equal but not his rival.
-Knows that nothing is so big that it overshadows how we feel about each other.
-Also, some of that other stuff like takes showers, works, and has a life!

writergirl
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 10:47 pm: [report]

@jsw—Yes, and your excuse for when the seat *is* up?

relright
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 11:04 pm: [report]

I loooooove big noses.

Congrats though!

_jsw_
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 11:13 pm: [report]

@writergirl: Laziness. Well, that, and splash physics.

retro chic
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 11:20 pm: [report]

Oh, geez [cheese], look what you’ve done… not the seat up/down summit… again.

@jsw: Hmm. Well, I’m glad to hear that… you may/not know how I feel [post] about “set-ups” by now… disasters they. Hence, head in hands, running out of the room silent screaming (don’t you dare winky-joke there). I’m sure you’ve had a few set-ups yourself with the *highly recommended* sister of a friend. And hey, daughters are good for training, too. Probably better, and you’re outnumbered! My daughter keeps me straight, that’ for sure.

_jsw_
wrote on July 21 2009 @ 11:57 pm: [report]

@retro chic: Oh, I completely understand about setups, sadly enough. I was just giving you grief. My brother is likely not your style anyway.

And yes, kids do tend to keep one on the straight and narrow. Unless, I suppose, you have eight of them.

Chebs
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 04:02 am: [report]

The new bf doesn’t fit all of my old musts; so I’ve re-evaluated my list from before I met him and afterwards.

Musts:
√ attempts to listen when I go on my weird rants
√ wants kids
√ from a large family
√ ambitious
√ kind to those lower down than him, respectful to those higher up
√ goofy
√ knows himself
√ loves football (college and pro)
loves FPS games
√ loves action movies

Pluses:
taller than me
√ likes goofy animated movies
college educated
√ not super-religious
√ does things with people that aren’t me
√ knows when to drop a subject and when it’s ok to pick it up later

Minuses:
√ bad diet
√ crazy ex wife
bad manners
smoker
heavy drinker
bad driver
√ says bad things about my teams (although I’m sure my guy does it to listen to me rant… mostly)
√ snores

writergirl
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 07:24 am: [report]

@jsw “splash physics”  Good one!

shannac02
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 10:32 am: [report]

Uhm… How did I miss out on this convo?? People offering brothers, Cheeeeese being Ridic about Redheads… Wow.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 10:35 am: [report]

@shannac02: Hells to the no. I am not Ridic (Vin Diesel character minus the k) about redheads. I just like ‘em.

lindseylee21
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 10:53 am: [report]

Why have so many people noted tattoos as a minus? Are they a minus for guys with respect for girls??

shannac02
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 10:58 am: [report]

I LOOOOOOOVE tattoos on guys, well-done tats, that is. I require: No felonies, a good job, personal transportation…and Good tats!

joyy
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 10:59 am: [report]

@lindseylee21 - um, it’s called personal preferences.  Some people like tattoos, some people don’t.

GreenAura
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:01 am: [report]

@lindseylee21: Tattoos are a huge PLUS for me.  BUT, they would be a minus is if the work was really bad.  Like tribal arm band bad.  Or male lower back bad.  To me, bad tattoos show poor taste and/or judgment.  I may make an exception for guys that knew the work was bad.  My husband happens to be sleeved on both arms with quality work and I LOVE IT!!

lindseylee21
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:02 am: [report]

@joyy Personal preferences? Hmmm I’ve never heard of those… lol

I just thought it was interesting that it was mentioned so often.

gloriafretz
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:06 am: [report]

A man has husband criteria for me when he *actually* listens when I talk!

@greenaura - I agree. I cannot stand bad tats! My ex (was an idiot) had his baby mama’s name tatted on his arm, then decided to cover it up with, get this, a blue cat with a black top hat smoking a blunt… you have to be kidding me. I love good tats on men

_jsw_
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:07 am: [report]

@lindseylee21 “Are they a minus for guys with respect for girls??” As a guy, I’d have to say that I don’t think most men would not consider them to be a minus if, as mentioned above, they were well done. I’ve seen some god-awful tattoos in my life, and, since most of them were in really public places, I can’t imagine how bad the other ones were. And, as GreenAura said, if it was bad and they knew it was bad and realized it was a mistake, it’s much more forgivable. In general, I think they would spark interest. I doubt it would ruin a possibility, at least not for most.

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:11 am: [report]

@ _jsw_ - So now your brother is up for grabs for just anyone? I’m insulted!!

@ greenaura - I’m with you - love tats (obviously!) but tribal/barbed wire armbands are too cheesy for words. They’ve got to be good ones.

GreenAura
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:16 am: [report]

@ gloriafretz: OMG, that would be a dealbreaker for me!!  My friend dated a guy that had his ENTIRE package tatted green. I told her that he was probably trying to cover up the scars left over from his herpes sores. 

Also, a very good friend of mine has a nickname from his childhood: “House”, so as a teenager, he went to get the word “House” on his arm (and made a very bad decision by getting it done at someones house!).  Well, 2 letters into it, the guy ran out of ink, so my friend has “HO” emblazoned on his arm.  He is so embarrassed by it that he won’t even go get it covered up because he doesn’t want the tattoo artist to think that he was someones prison ho.  LOL!!

_jsw_
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:17 am: [report]

@tattooed_redhead: He signed on and looked at your comments and was hurt that you were flirting so extensively with CheeeeEEEEse after hearing about him. He then decided that retro chic made more sense, since he lives in Tucson, she lives somewhere around LA, and you live somewhere in Ontario (I think).

But mainly, that was his pain talking. He’d really started falling for you, and the flirting just crushed him. The fact that retro chic seems uninterested as well has forced him to head over to the LUSH forums in the hopes of finding true love.

gloriafretz
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:18 am: [report]

@greenaura: classic. I should also add that said ex-boyfriend called me from jail yesterday and actually thought that I would bail him out. Maybe he will end up with a HO tat as well? We can only hope! Haha.

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:20 am: [report]

@ _jsw_ - well, better luck to him at LUSH. But have him read the Echem article today first, just to gird his loins a bit and prevent massive disappointment.

*sam*
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:21 am: [report]

@_jsw_: so uhh, this brother of yours… how old is he?? b/c i have this, uh, ‘friend’ you see….

writergirl
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:21 am: [report]

@lindseylee21 “Are they a minus for guys with respect for girls??”  My husband HATES them.  I want one (something small and tasteful on my hip) and he fights me on it every time I bring it up.  I’ve given in so far because I really hate needles and it is something I can live without, but yeah, for some men, they are a deal breaker.

_jsw_
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:28 am: [report]

@tattooed_redhead: I’ll tell him. I hope he doesn’t mishear it as “gild his loins”, or else he’ll end up like GreenAura‘s friend’s ex. Just, well, not green.

@*sam*: He’s 36, so I suspect he might be a bit old for your friend (maybe for tattooed_redhead too, dunno), but then again, I don’t know. He’s single, disease-free, owns his own home, has a good job, and wouldn’t want me saying good things about him because anyone who has too many good things said about them comes across as pathetic.

@writergirl: Ah, but there’s a big difference between accepting a tattoo as part of falling for someone, and having someone get a tattoo once you’ve gotten to know them as tattoo-less. Not an issue for many, but an issue for just as many others.

Naneenya
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:29 am: [report]

He must own a tie.

Hey, I’m on the rebound.  I’m just starting to make a list

*sam*
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:31 am: [report]

alas… the good ones are always too old for my friend… (she just turned 21)... why can’t men our age be more responsible!?!?!

GreenAura
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:32 am: [report]

@ writergirl: I live in a town where people are quite judgmental over tatts. Well, I wore a dress to work one day (I have 2 tatts, on my R ankle and on my L leg) and the question I kept getting was “Why on earth would you do that to your body?”  So I like to comeback with “My body is a home for my soul and I’m just decorating my home!” How can anyone say anything back?? Maybe if you say that to your hubby, he’ll be more receptive…(yeah right!) What if you got “Property of _____ (his name)” above your who-ha? Wouldn’t he like that? haha

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:35 am: [report]

@_jsw_ -I’m 37 physically and 13 mentally, so that works out!! LOL

writergirl
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 11:43 am: [report]

@greenaura—OMG!  That’s hilarious.  You know, I don’t know.  I’ll ask him and see what he says.

I don’t understand why people have to ask why you did something like got a tatoo or whatever.  Good come back though!

@jsw—that’s true.  But I am not even sure he would have taken me with the tatoo if I had one when we were dating.

_jsw_
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 02:01 pm: [report]

@*sam*: Sorry. And he’s not too immature, either, so I guess it just wouldn’t work. And, yeah, maturity comes late or never to too many men.

@tattooed_redhead: Let’s look into Tucson -> somewhere Ontario ticket prices, then.

@writergirl: I’m quite sure he would have “taken” you, regardless of what was on your skin, once he saw you in nothing but your skin.

writergirl
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 02:08 pm: [report]

@jsw—but would he have kept me?

_jsw_
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 02:20 pm: [report]

@writergirl: Surely, he’s not an idiot, so of course he would have kept you.

writergirl
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 02:22 pm: [report]

@jsw—you’re sweet.  thank you.

_jsw_
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 03:03 pm: [report]

@ writergirl: I’m just deducing, based on your various comments here, that you’re not the sort of woman who would marry an idiot. Therefore, it’s just a logical conclusion.

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 07:25 pm: [report]

I could totally be a kept woman.

writergirl
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 07:28 pm: [report]

@jsw—he has his moments….

@tattooed_redhead—it has it’s advantages.

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 07:36 pm: [report]

@writergirl - are you speaking from experience, and if so, what tips do you have for a girl just starting out in the sugar daddy hunt?

writergirl
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 07:58 pm: [report]

@tattooed_redhead—I was kidding.  I’m a SAHM mom and I often joke that I am a “kept” woman.  My version of “kept” though includes laundry, cleaning toilets and making dinner. 

I don’t think you want my version. 

_jsw_
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 08:05 pm: [report]

@tattooed_redhead: You’ll need to have something to provide to the vieux protecteur. What will it be? Sex? Interpretive dance? Physics lectures? Personal shopping? Tile work? Just curious.

PinkRanger
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 08:20 pm: [report]

@Phil in Reno: *eyeroll*

_jsw_
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 08:21 pm: [report]

Ah, Phil In Reno, it’s comforting to know there are some constants in life. Should you get married, or should Hugh7 get circumcised, the universe will likely implode.

wonderfultonight
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 08:58 pm: [report]

@ Phil in Reno - oh, please,please don’t ever breed any offspring!

Good_Kitty
wrote on July 22 2009 @ 09:33 pm: [report]

A couple of other items for the list, from the voice of experience:

* Able to do basic math and comprehend a basic household budget.

* Able to clean up behind himself.

* Willing to stand up for you, to his family or friends, if they treat you poorly.

* Willing to elope.

* Doesn’t give his mother a key to your house.

@writergirl, tattooed_redhead: Yes, it has its advantages, but as my mother once told me… If you marry for money, you’ll earn it on your back.

tattooed_redhead
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 11:52 am: [report]

@_jsw_- scintillating conversation, the ability to hold my liquor and abstract sculpture.

foxxxyrae
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 04:39 pm: [report]

~intelligent (not the condescending “I’m better than you” intelligence. but ability to have an intelligent conversation is a plus)
~sense of humor
~kind-hearted
~most importantly: if he can put up with me then he’s probably a keeper

Shasta
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 07:20 pm: [report]

I believe @Phil when he says he’s a player.

...playing with himself.

@wonderfultonight - No worries about @Phil ever reproducing, at least not until they come up with cloning.

Titi
wrote on July 23 2009 @ 08:31 pm: [report]

Y’all just made me realize how damn picky I am. My “must haves” list is a mile long…
Musts (condensed):
-Intelligent, clever, and free-thinking—preferably with an IQ over 135 (I’m into guys that are much smarter than me).
-Irreligious
-Curious, spontaneous, infected with travel bug
-Slim
-Tall (the taller the better)
-Total cuddle-slut
-Silly; doesn’t take himself too seriously
-Kind to waitstaff/bartenders; tips well
-Creative
-Loves animals
-Can put up with/humor my crazy ass
Pluses:
-Vegetarian/vegan
-Bi/trilingual
-Foreign (or at least well-traveled)
-Long hair, ability to grow a kick-ass beard
Deal-breakers:
-Sports fanatics and/or hunters
-Overweight
-Republican
-Uneducated
-Illogical and/or religious
Oddly, I found a man that fits ALL this criteria…a 6’6” college professor with a PhD who is also an accomplished musician (AND looks like Jesus Christ!). Yeah, I promptly married him.

majicksand
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 08:48 am: [report]

I really don’t have anything to add, but the responses are interesting.  I’m only posting so I can get future posts routed to my e-mail.  Carry on.

_jsw_
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 09:39 am: [report]

@majicksand: I’m pretty sure that you can just click on the “Notify me of follow-up comments?” box and submit, and you’ll get notified. I know that it doesn’t add a blank comment (just tried it), and as soon as someone else posts in the “Are We Too Nostalgic?” thread, where I tried it and didn’t comment, I’ll let you know.

_jsw_
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 09:45 am: [report]

@majicksand: Never mind! It doesn’t complain when you do that (click the box without commenting), but it also doesn’t notify you. Apparently, you need to actually comment to get the emails. Oh well - I think it’d be really helpful to be able to get the emails without commenting.

max2462
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 10:12 am: [report]

Dayum… after reading all of these lists, I don’t know why I’m still single!

Oh, wait. Because I want to be ;o)

majicksand
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 10:23 am: [report]

@jsw:  Thanks for trying.

onelegatatime
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 12:42 pm: [report]

*Smart/funny/appreciates humor (I really think these are related)
*Compassionate, but not a doormat
*Good-looking, but not too pretty (a bit vague there…)
*No gut, not bald, no curly hair
*No smoking/drugs of any kind, social drinker only
*Wants a family
*Independent (doesn’t care what Mommy and Daddy think - will do what’s right for his family (meaning me and any offspring))
*Likes sports, but is not a macho ahole - also (related) isn’t into (even on a subconscious level)gender roles of any kind (just because I have two X chromosomes, doesn’t mean I have a natural predisposition to be a mother hen)
*Different enough so that it’s not boring
*Not a loser and doesn’t want to end up like one
*Likes good food and the company of good people
*Not too many issues/complexes - I don’t need a project

Been married 5 years, together 15.  I had this list stored in my mind, since before we met.  It just keeps getting better with every passing year.

Dmun
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 02:08 pm: [report]

Likes sports √ (He loves sports, but when there’s a game on he’ll watch it as the smaller picture-in-picture while I watch some stupid reality TV show. What a guy.)

Indulge me in my crappy taste so I never have to indulge you. Wow what a giving woman you are.

sophie19
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 02:43 pm: [report]

I think I’m pickier than all y’all.

-He makes me happy.

Nothing else matters.

Netty
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 03:06 pm: [report]

@ Phil in Delusion, I mean Reno

“To do this you merely have to seem like you are interested in marriage, but you never get married.”

Dishonesty is an ugly trait in anyone. But great of you to perpetuate the “marriage is always doomed for everyone” stereotype.

And aren’t there other websites/forums for your insightful comments?

Ms.Bubbles
wrote on July 24 2009 @ 10:55 pm: [report]

After reading the comments i realized that my list is very similar to most women…

Must-
-Be friendly and an animal person
-Have his own mode of transportation
-Be compassionate
-Be nonreligious or okay with other religions
-Be openminded to all the kooky things I can come up with
-Good Job

Pluses-
-Nice tattoos
-Doesn’t want to have kids
-Good with money

Minuses
-Crazy Family

Automatic Disqualification—-
IF HE IS MEAN TO HIS MOM

thickasawhaleomelette
wrote on July 25 2009 @ 12:08 am: [report]

You all have me thinking now… these are my musts:

-Try to understand and love my crazy family and friends, sometimes love me despite them.

-Occasionally delight in little things.

-Have strong intellectual curiosity.

-Laugh with me.

-Wants to share his life with me.

-Have similar taste in music.

-Enjoy sports as one of many interests (it’s a good thing!)

-Trusting

Significant pluses:

-Dance with me even when he’s not falling-over drunk.

-Loves traveling.

mavsqueen2010
wrote on July 25 2009 @ 01:28 am: [report]

I figure my requirements are not so much listed as briefly mentioned: funny, kind and loves musicals. Haven’t found anyone who’ll admit to loving Singing in the Rain as much as I do..although I got one guy to admit to loving Sade..and then making me swear to tell no one. ever.

onewriter
wrote on July 25 2009 @ 07:55 pm: [report]

@jsw…you’re pretty cool. 
@phil…oh good grief. 
@everyone else…seems like most of us generally like the same things with little variation.  I wonder what happened to natural selection.  Thanks for the comments.  As usual, they’re “off-ten” funny and worth the read.
My criteria: Loves me for me.  If I’m into him, he’s already who I want.

Fast Eddie
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 08:30 am: [report]

I have only an inkling of why my wife took me on.  Obviously she liked what happened in bed especially that it excited HER, something she thought she’d lost.  I was dead broke, deeply in debt and out of a job.  22 years later we are still grateful and amazed that we still love each other and economically comfortable.  Thank heaven that her passion carried me through and captured this woman’s heart. I owe her a lot.  Bottom line is don’t underestimate the power of passion, but it works best if it’s mutual.

beardguy
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 02:22 pm: [report]

Wow.

Some of the posters here seem to think that they are God´s gift to men. Hint: most people, including you, are average.

Some have posted “must” lists with at least 10 items. If one assumes that each item on average cuts away 50% of all men, and that the criteria are not correlated, then that gives that about one in a thousand of all men fit your must list. If you have ten more items on your plus/minus lists, then it is one in a million.

Also, consider that many of the posted lists have similar contents. That means that if you happen to come across the rare gem that fits all your must lists, then there will be plenty of other gals who want to have him too. Therefore, he can afford to be choosy.

Moral: Unless you can bring something really special to the mating dance, be prepared to pare down your list substantially.

I have been married for over a decade, but I can still offer the must list that I operated according to before that.

MUST:
Be female
Be single
Be non-mother
Be interested in me
Be willing to have sex with me on a regular basis
Be free of STD
Be free of big tatoos
Be uninterested in getting more tatoos
Be completely drug-free
Be non-problem drinker

There! 10 criteria. However, note that except for #4, most who pass #1 will pass the others. Therefore, one I would find someone who passes #4-5, the great majority of them would pass all other criteria also. I had plus/minus criteria also, but finding someone who passed the must list kept me preoccupied.

Don´t be so darn picky!

beardguy
wrote on July 26 2009 @ 02:32 pm: [report]

@wonderfultonight: Even if Phil in Reno does not reproduce himself, chances are that his siblings will spread his genes for him. For all we know, he might have nephews and nieces already.

sparklestar
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 01:44 am: [report]

I wanted somebody who was organised, kind, happy, free of emotional baggage and supportive. I now have him.

I really didn’t have much on my “criteria” but I’m happy with who I am with. =)

Black Iris
wrote on July 28 2009 @ 07:09 pm: [report]

My List:

Integrity

Intelligence

Shared Values and Politics

Has interesting things to say

Is willing to keep fighting until you’ve working things out

Loves you

fullupfrontal
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 08:10 am: [report]

Women’s criteria for marriage

#1 Money
  ...if #1 then

#2 Mild attraction

Or the reverse with hope for the money. That’s it.

Black Iris, you’re full of it.

bumbler
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 08:12 am: [report]

Whats with the recent influx of bitter men?  Usually the guys on here are so great now everyone wants to be He-Man Woman Hater.

fullupfrontal
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 08:20 am: [report]

Looks good in glasses?!? Puhleeze, you don’t like guys with glasses whether they look good or not!

_jsw_
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 08:31 am: [report]

@bumbler: I can only assume that one of the articles here was linked to on crazybitchesruinedmylife.com, and so there was some spillover from there. Just remember that you can always click on someone’s profile and choose to ignore them. I thought you could do it right from the comment, but I don’t see that now. Given the recent site issues, maybe that’s just a temporary glitch.

Chebs
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 08:40 am: [report]

@jsw - Second the ignore feature usage.  I use it on every forum I go to.  No need to sift through trolls to get to the good comments that way.  Highly recommend it to everyone. 

@Black Iris - Nice list! And it works both ways - all those should be qualities you look for in a partner, regardless of gender.

GreenAura
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 08:46 am: [report]

@ fullupfrontal: Sorry if you have had some bad experiences but just so you know, not all women marry for money.  When my husband and I got married that we had to save up for several months just to acquire $300 for the ceremony (cheap Vegas wedding, natch!) We didn’t have a honeymoon, we lived in a studio apartment in a really bad area and we both took the bus to work.  Is is so hard to believe that we married for love?? 10 years later we are still crazy in love but only a little less poor, we still live paycheck to paycheck (as many young couples do these days).  So please spare this website your generalizations.

@ bumbler: I was wondering the same thing! It seems in the last 2 weeks or so, every article is being bashed by bitter men.  (Of course I am not counting the respectful guys on here, you know who you are!)

bumbler
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 08:48 am: [report]

Thanks jsw I’ll consider it.  I’m just a little tired of the influx of “I can’t get a date so women must be evil” posts.

_jsw_
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 08:53 am: [report]

@bumbler: Me too. The fact that you women are all evil has little if anything to do with why you won’t date these guys.

bumbler
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 08:58 am: [report]

Exactly my evil is limited to eating babies and killing pandas, it has nothing to do with my love life!

brandyalexander
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 12:08 pm: [report]

I am starting to wonder if beardguy, dmun, phil, and mreo are all the same dude…
BTW, my dream man:
1. Is always wearing a new Ed Hardy shirt and some cheap frat-boy cologne he got at the grocery store.
2. Doesn’t take sh*t from whiney b*ches on message boards.
3. Reminds me constantly that I am not really all that special, and that I should get off my high horse.
4. Is mildly attractive, and has money… because obviously I could never be successful on my own merits.
5. Speaks for the entire male population on every subject.
Sigh…

onewriter
wrote on July 30 2009 @ 04:44 pm: [report]

hahaha “you women are evil”  hee hee!  lordy.  I’m glad you’re back in the saddle.  And yes, I’m getting tired of the pissy-ness.  I didn’t know about the ignore thing…or I’ve just never thought it was necessary, but I left my ex because I got tired of mind games.  I certainly don’t need them from here!  Enjoy your day all…and keep writing!

BlueVibe
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 01:14 pm: [report]

I’m a factoid geek.  It’s a hazard that comes with being a reader and a history major (college rewarded me for remembering otherwise-pointless trivia and relating it to everything else).  I don’t use it to show off, it’s just the way I work.  My friends use me as a human Google (I’m not kidding about this: They email me about stuff they don’t know about, knowing that I’ve probably read about it and can help them put it in context).  Thus, a guy can’t be intimidated by my compulsion to connect things and the fact that I’ve read something about almost everything.

The guy I’m dating now admits that he’s not as well-read as I am, but doesn’t complain and Googles stuff to see what the heck I’m talking about.  Or he just asks.  I absolutely love that he’s comfortable enough with himself that he doesn’t feel the need to be defensive, or to put me down, or to clam up the way guys have in the past when I made a reference they didn’t understand.

becknee
wrote on August 4 2009 @ 08:53 pm: [report]

@brandyalexander Brava! Brava!!

My automatic disqualification is based on one of Dave Barry’s rules for life: “A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.”

I dated my current boyfriend through most of our lean college years and was clued in to what a keeper he was by his habit of figuring up the tip percentage at Waffle House before he ordered. If what he wanted was too expensive to allow for at least a 20% tip, he’d find something else to eat.

thejanet
wrote on August 5 2009 @ 01:54 am: [report]

What a pity, @jsw’s brother is a bit too young for me.

My criteria list is a bit different than what y’all have posted, but I suspect the spirit of the thing is similar.

Must be dependable.
Must have a strong sense of ethics.
Would be nice if he was a good role model, not just for our kids but also for me.
Must love me above all others (I would make an exception for God).

My reverse criteria list (that I actually checked through when I’d date a new one):

Must be someone I would work to never disappoint.
Must inspire me to be a better person and a better role model.
To marry him, must be someone I love above all others (except for God), including my parents, my family, my best friend.
Must be someone I could promise to make my “one and only” forever.

Gee, and that makes me (and the fella I ended up with) sound really boring. And we’re not. Things that didn’t make my conscious list were:

Must go on flights of fancy with me.
Must sometimes be the pilot and chief travel agent on flights of fancy.
Must stick up for me, especially when I’m wrong.
Must learn to love my family and friends.
Must be as much fun 32 years after the wedding as he was before it.

We didn’t fit all the criteria then, we still don’t now. But my absolute deal breaker “must be dependable” requirement was met, and still is.

I’m a lucky one.