Blaming The Victim: Can We Stop Looking For Excuses For Chris Brown?

Kiki T
wrote on February 10 2009 @ 01:50 pm: [report]

YES! YES! YES! SAY IT AMELIA!

(...but does this mean Beyonce has herpes too?!)

raeofsun719
wrote on February 10 2009 @ 02:00 pm: [report]

Make it stop! I just had a “friend” on facebook saying she must have done SOMETHING to make him beat her up that bad. I wrote him a scathing response and deleted him from my friends list. I am so glad you are on top of this! It is never okay to condone the abuse of anyone. Just my .02

Amelia
wrote on February 10 2009 @ 02:00 pm: [report]

That’s the hole in this rumor! Sasha Fierce would not stand for that.

CCstarlight08
wrote on February 10 2009 @ 02:35 pm: [report]

Personally, I don’t care what sort of family history he has. Or if she gave him some sort of disease. There’s no excuse for physically assaulting someone else. Playing the “blame the victim” game is so tired…she has every right to her personal safety, no matter who she is. And he could have walked away to cool down BEFORE becoming violent. It’s all a matter choices, and he made a poor choice. When the media justifies his poor choices, it just shows what the mentality is out there about women and abuse.

wouldntitbenice
wrote on February 10 2009 @ 02:48 pm: [report]

I would say that’s ground for breaking up, not beating up.

gillybeans
wrote on February 10 2009 @ 02:56 pm: [report]

Herps shmerps, who the hell cares? It’s Hollywood. Go buy some Valtrex even though I hope your dick falls off, Chris Brown. I look forward to seeing both him and his career suffer because of this heinous act of violence.

lubbeR_boo_95
wrote on February 10 2009 @ 04:52 pm: [report]

omg!!! rihanna gave him herpes! I would be mad too but you know i wouldn’t beat on the person who gave it to me!!!!

peacock
wrote on February 10 2009 @ 07:10 pm: [report]

And I’m tired of everyone treating Chris Brown like he’s already been convicted. The media has no real facts on what actually happened, all that’s being spread is rumors.  I find the whole case to be sexist. “Last time I checked, there is NO REASON EVER to assault a woman. ” How about there’s not reason ever to assault a person? If he did hit her then its a horrible thing, but we have no idea what happened.  Everyone else here seems to have no problem pointing a finger at Chris without knowing anything.  Why don’t you give Mike Nifong a call and ask him what a good idea it is to jump to conclusions and convict a young man in the media before the law gets a chance.

Amelia
wrote on February 10 2009 @ 07:26 pm: [report]

Please note, this post was filled with “allegedly"s and “if it’s true.”

Judia334j
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 12:53 am: [report]

She is so lovely, and I saw her profile on ****Meetwealthy. com****,
she is welcomed by a lot of rich singles and celebs here.
I also met many Classy Women, hot rich guys,also nice   wealthy admirers. so I feel so happy.,,,

Philly-10
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 04:54 pm: [report]

It’s funny that no one has much to say in male abuse cases. Let’s not take gender into account, it was assault from one person to another, and it should be treated as so. Don’t militate the situation because of it.

Well, if she did give him an STD, it was obvious she wasn’t keeping it honest with him, although that doesn’t justify assault. I’m sure any person catching an STD at the age of 19 would be infuriated as well.(even violently so) C’mon, your sexual life is over before it began? thats a big hit for a teenager.
But then again this isn’t proven, and I’m very sure Chris Brown (Or Rihanna) is going to take whatever measures to keep the real reasoning behind it hush-hush, and if it is true, were definitely never going to find out. Whatever the reason, I hope Chris does his time for what was done.

Michael
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 08:20 pm: [report]

has anyone stopped to think that if this wasn’t Rihanna (or some other famous woman) the backlash against Chris Brown wouldn’t be NEARLY this bad? 

That should be pissing you ladies off as much as the justification.

woman_speaking_real
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 10:03 pm: [report]

I’m going to just keep it 100% real with you people. The rumors are probably not true….I mean it IS Hollywood. But Honestly, if someone gave me Herpes, I’d be ready to do more than just beat them….and I’m a female.
Some people suggest that if this is true, then he should have just broke it off with her…....and then do what? Just live with Herpes for the rest of his life, and let her go on her merry way!!? No! He can break up with her but he can’t break up with the pus-filled sores on his genitals every morning. Come on!!!

saysay
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 10:24 pm: [report]

If the rumors weren’t true don’t you think that each of their camps would be issuing statements that they weren’t involved? Please take note that neither has.  Also although assault is wrong no matter what sexes involved, I think we can all agree that a petite woman hasn’t got a chance in hell against a man who is probably close to a foot taller than her. It’s really making me a bit frightened to know that so many people are offering up excuses on his behalf. Nobody had a perfect childhood, but most of us make the conscious decision to change our lives and become better people instead of allowing our circumstances to decide our lives.  He’s quite wealthy, he can afford a therapist.

Amelia
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 10:35 pm: [report]

say it saysay!

rowdygirl
wrote on February 12 2009 @ 01:29 pm: [report]

Speaking from experience, abusers can and will find a way to excuse what they do.  The people speaking out on his behalf and finding fault with her don’t understand how an abusive relationship works. It will ALWAYS be her fault, no matter what. When an abuser (male or female) attacks the victim, they ALWAYS see whatever happens as the victim’s fault. That’s how they think… always. They might apologize, say it won’t happen again, even despise others who are abusive(sound familiar??) but they will never truly see their actions as their fault.

SeattleMama
wrote on February 12 2009 @ 01:55 pm: [report]

Really, why the HELL would his camp be spreading the Jay-Z herpes rumor?  As if Jay-Z didn’t already want to kick his ass as it is.  I wouldn’t be surprised if his punk a*s gets jumped and ends up in the hospital for all this… just sayin’

vanya
wrote on February 14 2009 @ 10:53 am: [report]

@ Philly-10: keep in mind that people can be carriers of an STD and be symptom-free, themselves.

Sujai
wrote on February 15 2009 @ 10:53 am: [report]

I am not trying to find excuses but some of this does not make sense. Neither Rihanna not Chris has given an official comment but none of this makes sense.
1. I cannot understand why Rihanna let Chris hit her in the face so many times without blocking anything? Did Rihanna choke Chris Brown?
2. Was she trying to kill him? Have any of you had a woman put her hands around your neck, choke you and threaten to kill you?  I have and I almost blacked out.  I had to kick and punch her or I would have died. I am a woman. I had fingernail marks in my neck and was black and blue for a week.
3. Were scratch marks on Chris Brown’s neck?  Did Rihanna choke him?  Is that why she didn’t block the multiple punches? Where her hands around his neck and she would not let go? Is that why he bit her arms? 
4. Where her arms around his neck, face and mouth? If I got punched in the face once I would block my face. Was she so focused on attacking him that she forgot to block? Was he defending himself? 
5. People say there is no reason for a man to hit a woman but women can be violently abusive too.
6. If Chris was not defending himself then he was wrong but to hit her so many times and bit too does not make sense. This is why people are looking for reasons.  None of us know what happened and we need to stop acting like judge and jury until we know the facts.
Fact:  This makes no sense!
Fact:  A woman can beat a man up and even kill a man if she is angry enough. 
Fact:  A woman’s hands can be deadly weapons too.  Check murder records.
Fact: We need to Stop saying there is no reason for a man to hit a woman.  There are not many good reasons but anyone has the right to defend him or herself if they feel they are in danger.
Fact: We need to know this is bad for everyone and we need to pray for them both.

stephiiy
wrote on February 15 2009 @ 09:00 pm: [report]

Now regardless if the rumour is true or not.
Is it ok to bash someone up because of herpes? NO
Is it ok for a man to beat up a woman? NO
and finally,

PLEASE to Sujai,
Rihanna has no history of KUNG FU okay, she’s not capable of hurting him to the extent that he could, and you say why she didn’t defend herself.

Ask anyone with experience, it’s not as simple as holding your hands up, pushing your attacker away. It’s not fantasy, even if she tried, she can still suffer from physical abuse.

I’m will clarify that I’m not here to support Rihanna, but more so to support victims such as her. This is something, I believe that has clouded many fans judgements.

I’m just glad that I found article and other members who agree there is no excuse!

AjSeven
wrote on February 16 2009 @ 01:20 pm: [report]

Okay I am tired of hearing about this! So tired that I had to vent. First these are 19-20 year old kids. At this rate I would love to see them when they are 30, that is if they make it that far.

Second of all, I don’t think a man has a right to beat a woman (it’s one thing to defend oneself) but not to literally beat! But one has to place as much blame on the woman for sticking around and sending the impression that this type of behavior is acceptable. I heard that this is not the first time this has happened. It’s not like Rhianna has no where to go, or no means to take care of herself. If you want to stick around in an abusive relationship fine by me! To be honest I wouldn’t have cared if they beat the living crap out of eachother, then I wouldn’t have to hear either of their crappy music.

mikeyellenlee
wrote on February 17 2009 @ 01:38 am: [report]

What a crock of sh*t. Put this coward in jail.

Shawna2411
wrote on February 17 2009 @ 08:18 am: [report]

I don’t know what part of the story to believe and I don’t think violence is ever the answer. I heard that she is a really angry and jealous person and attacked him while they were driving. He didn’t have to beat her up as bad as they so called say he did but as women we all know that if someone gave us an STD an uncureable STD we would go ape #&@$%. Me personally I would cut someone. Then it says she got upset over a text, leave his cheating as* alone if he’s not satisfid with you and find someone who is. Just like we say there is no reason ever for a man to put his hands on a woman it’s a two way street. I don’t support Chris Brown and I don’t support Rhianna. I just think listen to every little detail of the story and see it for what it is.

SeriouslyNotGood
wrote on February 21 2009 @ 04:36 pm: [report]

I have to respectfully disagree.  There are only 2 reasons I could ever imagine putting my hands on a woman: the first being if I caught her in MY bed with another guy and second if she gave me an incurable disease.  If this is true and she knew she had it and didn’t tell him I can easily understand how he could become uncontrollably pissed off as to hit her.  Apparently you guys don’t understand how serious a non curable disease is and how insulting it must be to find out your woman knowingly gave it to you.  I am not a proponent of what Chris Brown did if this is, but I easily understand how he would not be able to contain himself.

wait what
wrote on February 22 2009 @ 08:37 am: [report]

Dear Woman Speaking Real,
You’re an idiot.
Firstly, it’s herpes, not a death sentence. It’s not AIDS or HIV. WebMD says 1 out of every 4 or 5 people have herpes.
Second, if he was a grown-ass man, he would not have resorted violence. His girlfriend gave him an STD and didn’t tell him about it. That’s horrible. But that’s why he should have quit while he was ahead, broke up with her and walk away. Maybe even get her to pay for the Valtrex prescription. A real man would walk away from the fight instead of start one—with a girl half his size.
He wasn’t standing up for himself. Life dealt him a #&@$% hand, and he chose the wrong way to deal with it.
Sincerely, a woman speaking real.

Pamela
wrote on February 22 2009 @ 11:58 am: [report]

herpes an incurable disease? if thats so, most of my friends are doomed by now =9

vanya
wrote on February 23 2009 @ 08:54 am: [report]

Was Chris Brown absent that day in the 7th grade when the health teacher talked about STD’s and explained that there is no such thing as “safe sex” and that if you choose to have sex with someone, you are taking a risk that you may catch an STD?  Even if you decide to wait until you’re married to have sex, there is still a risk of contracting STDs because some STDs can lie dormant, and people can be carriers of an STD and be symptom-free themselves and unaware they’re infected??

My grade 7 health teacher was real clear about that stuff, and that was a good 20 years ago.

STD rumours aside, there is never a reason for violence in a relationship.

dominiq
wrote on March 9 2009 @ 01:13 pm: [report]

I have a question to ask Rihanna Why did you make Chris Brown feel bad about you telling everybody that Chris Brown had hit you and now he has been arrested for putting his hands on you?

woman_speaking_real
wrote on March 26 2009 @ 06:11 am: [report]

To the people “wait what” and “Pamela”
Wait what: No, you’re the idiot! When did it become OK to have ANY STD? You must have herpes, or you wouldn’t be so defensive. I don’t care if it’s not a “death sentence”, you can pass it on to your children through the birth canal….that’s bad enough.

and Pamela:  No, herpes is not a curable diesase. Only treatable. Didn’t you learn that in 8th grade health class?

VX967
wrote on October 4 2009 @ 07:03 pm: [report]

This episode is again the work of an out of control system. As of this day the news media has not given us the whole story only that that sells.  Our system needs revision so we can get to the bottom.  My feeling is that in reality both were at fault and need to be taken to the woodshed.