Betty Draper, Mother Of The Year. No, Seriously!
Posted by: Jessica Wakeman
Filed in:
entertainment
11:30AM, Tuesday October 27th 2009
Betty Draper doesn’t take any crap. Well, until she booted Don out of the house last season, the “Mad Men” matron took a lot of crap from her two-timing husband. Rather, stay-at-home suburban mom Betty doesn’t take any crap from her two oldest children, Sally and Bobby, and that brand of maternalism would make her practically an endangered species in America today. In nearly every episode, Betty sternly barks: “No,” “Go upstairs and play,” or “Don’t touch that”—and the rugrats actually listen.
Bets reminds me of my own mother, who was born during World War II and always seemed so old-fashioned compared to my playmates’ parents while I was growing up. But nowadays, Mom and I roll our eyes together when we overhear parents cooing at their two-year-old, as if the toddler is a very, very fancy member of royalty: “Please?” “Thank you!” “You’re so good at this!” Geez, coddled, much? It’s highly entertaining—albeit in a sad way—to watch a parent with a little kid who’s having a screaming, flailing, object-throwing tantrum because the parent always look too terrified to say something responsibly parental, such as “no” or “stop.”
Granted, Betty’s gone overboard in the discipline department a few times, like when she caught Sally smoking a cigarette and shut her in a closet, or when she insisted Don spank Bobby (he refused, saying his own father used to beat him). But I feel like that’s just the 1960s-ness of “Mad Men” peeking out. The truth is Betty, with housekeeper Carla’s crucial help, is still raising her kids right. To be sure, the Draper home is a far from perfect parenting arrangement, of course, considering breadwinner Don is hardly ever home and definitely doesn’t change his fair share of the diapers. But even with a distant father, I’d much rather be a mom like Betty than a parent like half the ones I gawp at during family parties and at the supermarket.
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Taurwen
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:35 am: [report]
Yea, my mom was always telling me to go away and amuse myself.
I can’t believe how some kids bargain with their parents for things they want. I couldn’t imagine demanding things from my mother.
MuchoMacho
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:39 am: [report]
so many parents suck…
Ami Angelowicz
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:43 am: [report]
Betty is also cold, cruel, and unuturing. She hardly ever pays attention to the kids or any of their needs. It is all about her all the time. Those kids are going to be starved for attention and affection. She’s an awful mother in my opinion - not that there’s anything wrong with being strict.
kr070707
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:44 am: [report]
Thank God there are people of our generation that see this terrible parenting and find it pathetic. The worst is when parents defend their children’s awful behavior, or make excuses for them to teachers, cops, and even judges. When will people learn that children need their parents to be parents and NOT their friends?
kalibrooke
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:45 am: [report]
meh; I appreciate the disciplinarian in her, but most of the time, she just seems disconnected from and annoyed by her kids… not a medal-winning parent in my book.
amandabear
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:49 am: [report]
I don’t think she’s a stellar mother - others are right to point out her disconnectedness and lack of any sort of nurturing, and in fact I’d say that Don is a far warmer parent when we actually see him interacting with the kids - but I do agree that people coddle their kids far too much these days. When my parents told me what to do, I listened. There was no bargaining or guilt-tripping. You did what they said or else. Kids need to be taught respect and boundaries, not that they can do whatever they want because they’re so special that the sun shines out of their ass.
bumbler
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:05 am: [report]
There’s a pretty big swath between being over-indulgent and being Betty Draper. I think my mom found a wonderful balance, we were often told to get out of the house and play outside and she had no problem giving us a swat on the butt if we dared to throw a tantrum which we rarely did. At the same time she would spend hours reading to us, playing Barbies or telling scary stories and she was always ready with a big hug and some love when we apologized for being bad. I never doubted that she loved us more than life itself but because she loved us she wasn’t afraid to teach us the proper way to behave. She’s everything I hope to be when I have children.
lostrun
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:21 am: [report]
I honestly don’t think that putting Sally in the closet was all bad. It’s pretty much a time out, which was less than what we got when we were caught smoking. Remember, the door wasn’t locked, and Betty was standing outside talking to her. Had Betty had locked the closet or walked away, maybe. But really what is the difference in being put in a corner and the unlocked closet?
tasinda
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:29 am: [report]
My husband says Betty Draper acts just like his mom did.
My husband also did not speak to his mother for 20 years after leaving home and moved as far as he could get across the United States just to get away from her.
It’s one thing to have structure and discipline but quite another to be the emotionless, cold and disapproving bitch-mom Betty Draper portrays.
When have we ever seen Betty laughing with her children, hugging them, kissing them, playing happily with them, anything like that, even the baby? Never. She takes care of their basic needs and you get the feeling she only does that much because it’s “proper”.
Don appears to have married his stepmother as far as personality goes, if not social status.
spatula
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:30 am: [report]
@bumbler: “There’s a pretty big swath between being overindulgent and being Betty Draper”.
Exactly!! LIKING your children doesnt mean you’re overindulgent. Also, I don’t necessarily agree that using please and thank you with young kids (also known as teaching them manners) is overindulgent either.
retro chic
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:42 am: [report]
Amen to the sentiments of promoting a stronger parenting stance with kids in general! Not so much on the Bets front, tho. Besides her own personality, she is a product of her times – not that kid-friendly, at all. Discipline without nurturing will give you a well-behaved kid every time, but what does that give you as an adult? An insecure dutiful mess. The backlash of the late 60s and 70s bore that out.
moonblossom
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:47 am: [report]
Betty is a character and we don’t don’t really see her all the time so I can’t really comment on her parenting tactics. That said…I really cannot stand a lot of people’s children. It drives me bonkers when kids misbehave in public, run their mouths, and throw tantrums. Um. Hello! When do adults get away with that? Never. Pull that at a job and you’d get escorted to the door by security. So there’s no real reason for parents to tolerate it either.
That said - all kids and all families and all parents are unique. So, a parenting technique that works on one kid won’t work on another. I think the most important thing is for parents to model good, adult behavior for their children. From the daily show at the [insert public place where children are seen] its obvious parents aren’t holding up their end of the bargain.
GreenAura
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:48 am: [report]
I’ve never watched Mad Men, so I am only going off of this article, but it seems from the commenters that Betty is more of a disciplinarian than a mom. There should be a balance. Your kids need to know when you mean business, but you also have to let them be kids. They should get dirty, they should get into fights, they should do things that piss you off. Its how they learn. And if you are a good enough parent, your kid can get into trouble (talking minor troubles here) and still turn out fine.
You shouldn’t be your kids friend (until they are adults), but you shouldn’t be a drill sargeant either.
joyy
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:51 am: [report]
@retro chic - Sound about right.
I also recall Betty’s freakout after she wrecked the car revolving around the possibility that her little girl could have had to go through life with a scar on her face. A product of her times indeed, but I definitely would worry about the little girl’s personal/academic/etc development if her mother’s only concern was for her to be pretty ...
joyy
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:52 am: [report]
@Green Aura - netflix it! one of the best shows on TV in a LONG time.
aquamarine
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 12:02 pm: [report]
Agree with the general sentiment of the comments. I *do* think the general parenting method has gone soft in the past decade or so, going off the children I babysat when I was a teenager, but Betty is crazy cold and un-nurturing. According to women I’ve talked to who were Sally’s age at the time of the show, she is extreme even for that generation. I believe my/our generation’s parents had a good balance, even if they were overburdened by constantly shuttling the kids from one activity to another. (I’m in my twenties.) My mom had our trust and respect, but she was/is incredibly nurturing, calm, loving, and dependable. She taught us morals, but did it in such a loving way. I’m lucky to be in bumbler’s camp, having such an incredible mom role model in front of me.
GreenAura
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 12:02 pm: [report]
@joyy: I tried to watch an episode once when they did the marathon before the latest season premiere. But it was so incredibly boring I had to change it. I think I watched maybe 6 minutes of it. I’ll give it a better shot next time and watch a full episode since everyone raves about it
joyy
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 12:08 pm: [report]
@green aura - it definitely moves slower than most other shows, but once you get into the story line you can’t stop watching. It’s one of those shows you kind of need to watch in sequence and actually pay attention to a little more, but it’s so well done that it’s worth it (to me, at least).
moogyboobles
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 01:14 pm: [report]
Parenting hasn’t gone soft at all, just gone wrong, problem stems from how babies are treated. So much nonsense about spoiling them with cuddles, leaving them to cry at night and scheduled feeding. No wonder they grow up misbehaving. To behave you need to be able empathise, understand the consequences of your actions and how they will affect others.
If you aren’t shown even a scrap of respect or empathy as a baby how do you learn to do that yourself?
Also the effect of leaving babies to cry and get stressed has a negative effect on brain development leading to all kind of issues.
As for toddlers having tantrums, that’s normal, their brains aren’t mature enough to cope with such emotions. The parent’s job is to help them learn how to calm down and regulate these emotions. Scaring them or putting their foot down doesn’t help that one bit.
good2bjillyg
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 03:52 pm: [report]
WORST mother EVER!! all i ever hear out of her mouth is, “Go to your room!; Go Play; Go watch TV!” I have never seen her take any interest in her children, not even the baby. She never eats meals with them or interacts with them. She gets bouje of the year award.
kalibrooke
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:06 pm: [report]
@greenaura bummer you didn’t like mad men; if i’m not mistaken you’ve “mad men’d” yourself in your avatar, so you definitely owe it to yourself to give it another shot…
DRush76
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 12:02 pm: [report]
It’s about time. Recently, I was at an amusement park where I saw some kid acting like a complete brat. Instead of discipling him, his father tried to coddle him into behaving. It was sickening.
Granted, I had a problem with Betty putting Sally into the closet. I would have spanked her. But I had no problem with her demanding that Don spank Bobby. It was 1962. Spanking as a means of discipline was nothing knew. Hell, it was still going on in the 70s and early 80s, when I was a kid.
Betty is not a terrible mother. Betty is a mediocre mother. I would never label her as “Mother of the Year”. But I disagree with many, who consider her to be a horrible mother. She’s not perfect. And to be frank, I’m getting sick and tired of those fans who demand for her to be perfect.
Iron Will
wrote on November 12 2009 @ 10:45 am: [report]
Betty Draper is Bitch of the year. Her father dies, and her daughter (who is very close to him) is upset. Comfort her? Hug her? No. Be quiet and go watch television. She isn’t just a bad mother, she is, despite her Grace Kelly looks, a really bad person.
Don Draper is no saint being short on impulse control. Being a major babe magnet is a bit too much for him and he gives in to the temptation that is thrown his way all to regularly.
As for the complaints about pandering to infants, i.e., non-speaking children, you people are insane. I hope you have had no children of your own.