New Blog, 50 JDates, Kicks A Romance Novel’s Butt
Posted by: Ami Angelowicz
Filed in:
entertainment
12:30PM, Monday October 26th 2009
Here’s the plot of my new favorite blog, 50 JDates: A 26-year old Jewish girl is in love with her boyfriend, who’s a goy (aka, not a Jew). The two lovebirds are considering marriage, but because her family is super religious and it’s important to them that she marries a Jewish man, she asks her boyfriend to convert. He says, “No.” Now she is torn—her mother doesn’t want the marriage to happen, and she’s not sure what to think. So how does she deal? She does something that I can only describe as my worst nightmare—she joins JDate, a Jews-only online dating site and pledges to go on 50 dates, writing about each and every one. At the end of the 50 dates, she’ll decide if she can accept her non-Jewish man, refuse her family’s wishes, and get engaged. Or who knows, maybe her beshert will come along. I can’t say I’d have the chutzpah to take on such a daunting task—but this girl is doing it with an open heart and an open mind. L’chaim, lady!
P.S. Don’t tell my mother about this social experiment. I don’t want her to get any crazy ideas.
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RachelSmiles
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 12:12 pm: [report]
amazing! thanks for the heads up!
Riley
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 12:41 pm: [report]
Always makes me appreciate my family when I read about the super-religous or otherwise meddling families. I would not convert to a new religion because my SO’s family has issues with my views.
I can think of better things to take issue with other than what imaginary forces someone believes in.
GDB79
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 01:02 pm: [report]
You’re 26. Stop trying to make your mommy happy, grow up and live your f’n life how you want to.
If this blog were defined by any other race/ethnicity/faith/demographic, people would be up in arms over the close-mindedness of the person. Why glorify this as some kind of romantic story? It’s not.
I genuinely hope she dates 50 guys and the boyfriend dumps her after all of it.
equnsuocha
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 01:06 pm: [report]
Although her posts are funny, it seems like if you know you know and if you are willing, and he is agreeable to, to go on 50! dates with other men, honey get it over with break up with him now.
brandyalexander
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 01:12 pm: [report]
her boyfriend should leave her, if not for her ridiculous sense of religious superiority, then at least for using a fluorescent pink font that makes my eyes squirm in my head.
amandabear
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 01:16 pm: [report]
@brandyalexander: My thoughts exactly on the pink font. And frankly the thing I found most offensive was reading that chat transcript. The english language, she died a little bit that day.
Goldfinch86
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 01:24 pm: [report]
Clearly she does not love her “boyfriend” all that much if she cannot stand up for their love. And most of all you cannot love someone if your going to be dating other people instead of marrying them. This so weird and wrong and I hope she gets her dumbass dumped for what she is doing to a man who clearly loves her.
MuchoMacho
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 01:24 pm: [report]
if my girlfriend wanted to go on 50 dates with other men she wouldnt be my girlfriend anymore.
elizajane
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 01:53 pm: [report]
Her blog posts are stupid and shallow. I think she is afraid of marrying her boyfriend and has come up with a creative excuse to date around to see if anything better comes along.
She is scoring guys on what car they drive, if they are unemployed (in this economy you either are, were or about to be) and gets in some weird, poorly spelled, badly edited IM’ing with someone she is obviously not interested in. I found the whole site disturbing and that fed into steroetypes of “Jewish women.”
My boyfriend is shorter than I would like, I think I will ask him if he minds if I date out some taller men just to see if there if maybe there is someone else out there for me.
retro chic
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 01:55 pm: [report]
This is a maturity – not a religious – issue. And who is she calling a tool (#4), when she’s the one blithely blogging about all her marriage options while her BF’s in Europe having fun. Laughable.
qnzmami718
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 02:03 pm: [report]
i used to drive a kia and am offended by the -6 or whatever point deduction lol! this bitch is stupid, i have no doubt she will end up without a boyfriend/fiance/husband/w.e.
qnzmami718
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 02:04 pm: [report]
also, bethlynnoo i completely agree. why the hell did she start dating dude in the first place if she knew he wasnt jewish? and tht wen it came down to it, marriage to a non-jew would be an issue..
WMassSoprano
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 02:15 pm: [report]
She seems like a total shrew! What an absolute jerk! She clearly doesn’t want to actually connect with any of the men she’s meeting, and doesn’t seem to understand that they have FEELINGS I’ve done my fare share of internet dating, and gone on my share of really terrible dates, but the way she slams these men for such petty reasons is despicable. Gives a bad name to women everywhere, never mind Jewish women!
pdxgal
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 02:43 pm: [report]
Current non-jewish boyfriend needs to run the other way. What an awful person! If religion is a deal breaker, don’t date someone of a different faith and certainly don’t date them long enough to get asked to marry! Simply awful.
workerbee
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 03:39 pm: [report]
You guys are really harsh on the girl. How was she supposed to know that her boyfriend wouldn’t convert? The declining numbers of young Jews in this country due to marriage outside of their faith is a big issue in Judaism. Maybe she didn’t realize how much her faith meant to her until she thought about having kids that weren’t raised as Jews. I don’t know enough background to make a judgment, but for all we know, her bf could be the jerk here.
MuchoMacho
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 03:45 pm: [report]
OR… the declining number of jews could correspond with the declining number of religious people in our country in general… education leads to enlightenment.
Stellamira
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 07:01 pm: [report]
She should’ve been prepared for the possibility of him not converting. And, there are definitely rabbis out there who will marry with one member of the couple a non-convert. (Somebody else mentioned this in another article.)
I think it’s not an issue of religion so much as it’s an issue of commitment. “Oh, my boyfriend won’t convert to my faith… so I’ll date 50 men! It’s brilliant!”
thickasawhaleomelette
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 11:28 pm: [report]
I can understand the desire to want to please everyone you love, and prove your point that you’ve found the right person to marry, but how is she approaching it with an open heart and and open mind if she’s got her non-Jewish “boyfriend” on the back burner. What man would take her seriously to date if they knew she was only using him as one of the tally marks to convince her family she’s found the man she wants? It’s tremendously confusing to me.
_jsw_
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 11:48 pm: [report]
I don’t see any problem with her using the blog and publicity to find possible mates. But, yeah… the current bf is - or should be - history. No one should put up with a potential fiancée dating 50 other men to see if he still “wins”.
50jdates
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 12:28 am: [report]
Hey Ami!
Thanks so much for finding my blog and writing about it!! Today has been so overwhelming with all the messages and emails and comments on my blog! I just signed up to Frisky so that I could respond to the comments on here. I totally hear what everyone is saying about me and my situation and no hard feelings! It is a strange situation that I have found myself in and have decide to use humor instead of tears to figure a way out of it. It may seem cruel and I hope no one gets hurt in the process, including myself. I do have a wonderful bf who is supportive of the blog and the dates… both of our attitudes are that if its meant to be then it will be! Thanks again for the kind and supportive messages and thanks Ami for finding me!
Xo,
B
miss game
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 09:40 am: [report]
@workerbee… did you actually look at the blog? This woman is shallow and overall horrible. Now I wonder what her bf is like to be able to put up with all of her b.s., but rating a man on the car he drives and his receding hairline?? wow.
_jsw_
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 12:35 pm: [report]
@50jdates: Thanks for joining, and your blog is definitely in its own niche, but I do question the level of interest both you and your bf have in getting married - or even staying together - if both of you are on-board and supportive of you dating anyone who will ask you out, especially if you’re “trying really hard to fall for” at least one of the guys. There is very little relationship-wise that is so “meant to be” that it can survive deliberate attempts to destroy it. If the two of you make it through this, it seems more like you’re both rather desperate than it is that you are compatible.
Still, I wish the 52 of you the best of luck in finding a good resolution that involves the least amount of pain possible overall.
equnsuocha
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 12:58 pm: [report]
Growing up as a “goy” in a mostly Jewish neighborhood, I understand fully the pressure families can put on Jewish women, especially, to marry a “nice Jewish boy”. My best friend in school was actually told that she would be “written out” of the will if she married outside her religion. She dated lots of guys and is now actually engaged to a guy from J-Date. She felt like she was having a hard time meeting someone with the same type of upbringing she had and thought J-Date would help her find someone with the same experiences. That said, she was single at the time. I still simply can’t imagine a grown person deciding on their future based on religion, ESPECIALLY when his reason for not converting was a good one. He is respectful of her faith and participates so why does he have to “convert”? I am sure any bad feelings would be taken care of should her family be reminded that it is the mother’s religion that the child is usually brought up with and the “goy” future son in law doesnt seem like he would stand in the way of the children being raised Jewish.
I get it, but it still feels wrong. Now her posts are very amusing and those of you who call her shallow are just too afraid to say what you think out loud. We all judge each other every day, it isnt like she is posting photos, names and locations of these guys.
Quixotic Lass
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 04:33 pm: [report]
I have personally been on more than 50 Jdates and I wish her luck as I’m pretty sure they were all gay.
elizajane
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 09:07 pm: [report]
Unless she is a “10”, has a Harvard MBA and drives some fancy Mercedes then yes I call “shallow” when shes judges a date on their current unemployment(lack of ambition), the car they drive or a receding hairline. If you are looking for perfect you better damn well be perfect or keep your nasty thoughts to yourself.
Her only excuse is youth, if she truly was in love and slightly older or more confident she would tell her parents that it is her life and this is the man she has chosen. Love is hard and shouldn’t be treated so carelessly.
Midnight
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 11:43 pm: [report]
I feel so bad for the boyfriend. He was SO courteous and respectful of her religion. I would have killed for my ex to have been that thoughtful about my beliefs (or lack thereof). Just think of how much that must have hurt for him to have her do this.
workerbee
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 11:56 am: [report]
Yes, I read her blog and while the grammar and use of “tuff” annoyed the hell out of me I didn’t have a problem with her shallowness. I am a member of the LLSA after all. I definitely can and will be shallow. Doesn’t mean I can’t get past my initial impression though.