Ask The Astrosexologist: My Libra Boyfriend Is Pulling A Disappearing Act
Posted by: Kiki T
Filed in:
relationships
11:00AM, Saturday October 17th 2009
My birthday is Aug. 27, 1987 and my Libra boyfriend is Oct. 1, 1986. I just can’t understand my boyfriend’s actions right now. We met back in February and fell deeply in love. After about two months, he got scared and left me. I didn’t contact him at all while he did his disappearing act, but two months later, in August, he contacted me. He even had the nerve to get angry because he called me late at night and I didn’t answer because I was asleep. Still, he appeared to be a different man—I gave him the cold shoulder at first, but when he pleaded his case and proved he was truly different by voicing all of his feelings openly and honestly, I believed him and let him earn my trust back. Now here it is October, and I haven’t heard from him in almost a week. He’s doing his disappearing act again. He says he’s scared because he’s joined the Army and he’s very depressed—but that he does love me. I can’t help but feel like he’s trying to leave me again. This was so sudden. He was tender and loving one night, and then two days later he doesn’t want to talk to me. He leaves for the Army next month and I’ve only had two five-minute phone conversations with him for a month now. I can’t continue like this in a relationship. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know whether to think he’s leaving me or not. Please help! —Jeanne
Run! There’s nothing you can do in this situation and the longer you wait on the sidelines, the farther you put yourself from a place of respect in your eyes and his. He thinks he can go off and do whatever he wants and because he’s done it before, he knows he can do it again. Not to say he can’t be sincere in some of what he’s saying, or authentically confused, but the fact is he is not considering your feelings as a priority. You need to take responsibility for your emotions and realize you deserve more than the crumbs he wants to give out at his convenience.
He signs himself up for the Army and then gets depressed? Sounds like he is running without a plan and with a guy like this, there is no way he can possibly have a real relationship, as he can’t even figure himself out.
As a Virgo with Libra moon and your Mercury, Venus and Mars all in Virgo, you do have a tendency to be too patient and too willing to work with someone so difficult. In fact, him being messed up might, on some level, make you want him more, so you can help, which Virgos love to do — but in this situation, you can’t build a real relationship alone. His disappearing acts won’t just stop — however you should try one of your own, as waiting isn’t healthy for you and to have no answers is just wrong.
Luckily, Mars went into Leo on Oct. 16, in your confidence house, and will be there until Jun. 7, giving you a long time to soak in this influence and reclaim your self esteem, because the longer you give into this guy, the more he will take away.
Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email astrosexologist@thefrisky.com and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query. For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, “The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook.” Plus, now you can follow Kiki T on Twitter for astrological updates, as they happen!
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warmfuzz
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 12:00 pm: [report]
yes, run as fast as you can!!!!And never pick up the phone if he ever calls again. Save your mental as well as emotional space for someone more mature and deserving. End.
ShopHolly
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 10:19 pm: [report]
RUN, honey. My Libra boyfriend and I just split because, point-blank, he started ignoring and avoiding me. We work together, and out of the clear blue he just…stopped talking to me. He is professional at work, but he refuses to talk to me past any sort of work topics, and when I asked him if he was angry he just shook his head. We have the same commute home, and he refused to sit with me on the bus and WAITED UNTIL I HAD GOTTEN ON THE TRAIN befor ehe even entered the subway. Seriously, he stood at street level until he heard a train come and go. Nothing against Libras, I happen to be one as well, but we can either be very very good or very very crazy. Needless to say, I am of course maintaining a professional attitude at work, but the man is forgotten. Get away from this guy- anyone who isn’t sure he wants to be with you 100% is hardly worth your worries. Go out and find someone who gives you as much as you give them.
Perceptible
wrote on October 18 2009 @ 11:37 am: [report]
You don’t have to analyze birthdays to know the answer to this one: RUN! And never, ever take a call from this guy again. How can she call him her boyfriend? They barely have a relationship.
retro chic
wrote on October 18 2009 @ 02:44 pm: [report]
@Perceptible: Took the words right out of my mouth.
Intense infatuation of two months and a true love relationship do not make. He never left because he was never there. He just keeps coming back to the trough she has made for him – when he needs it.
Jeanne22936
wrote on October 19 2009 @ 12:08 pm: [report]
I was the one who wrote this to Kiki and I want you all you lovely ladies to know you’re all exactly right! Just like Kiki said I tend to be extremely patient and willing to try and fix things, especially when I truly love someone. This guy is unfixable and nor will there ever me a me and him again! The amazing thing about me writing Kiki was she was right about October the 16th. My now ex-boyfriend contacted me on the 15th apologizing and putting on his show but something changed inside of me on the 16th, something just clicked and all of a sudden I could care less what happens between me and him. My confidence changed and I’m so overwhelmingly thankful it did. Not to mention, Kiki is awesome ladies! She’s a real person and she really cares even if she doesn’t know you! I’ll be coming to you with all my relationship woes Kiki! Peace and Much love all
Jeanne
OZgirl
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 04:22 am: [report]
I have been here before… different star signs, I’m a Pisces he’s a Scorpio, and we have had a similar push pull non-relationship thing for over a year. (we work together)
He will ignore you until he wants, then when you give in, its all too much and he runs away.
While I was In this pattern I was a mess, and have felt much better staying clear from him. Still very hard especially in social work situations, but I ring a friend to help remind me why I need to get away and go home
. Its hard work, but its so important not to feed the pattern, or it will never stop and you will never have the happy relationship you deserve.