Which Celebs Should Asexuals Look Up To?
It’s like a word association game. Say the word “asexual” and the first thing people say is Clay Aiken. Poor Clay got stuck as the poster boy for asexuality when he told New York magazine that he had no libido.
“I just don’t have an interest in … any of that at all. I have got too much on my plate. I’d rather focus on one thing and do that when I can devote time to it, and right now, I just don’t have any desire. I think maybe I don’t [have sexual urges]! I mean, not really. I’ve just kind of shut it off, maybe. Is that bad?”
Now we know Clay is actually a gay man and the only thing he had “shut off” were his homosexual desires.
But with such confusing messages about asexuality, is it any wonder that “Awkward,” a 19-year-old woman who wrote to Professor Foxy, Feministing’s sex advice expert, was really confused by her complete lack of a libido? “Awkward” thinks she is asexual, but wondered how do you actually know?
We’re glad Professor Foxy assured “Awkward” that asexuality is just a feeling and there are people who feel no sexual desires whatsoever. No thanks to you, Clay. You’re fired as the asexuality poster boy!
But fret not, “Awkward,” asexuals can do a lot better than that little twerp. Here are three other potentially asexual poster children we can still count on to be libido-less and happy. (FYI, these are just rumors, okay?)
- Morrissey
How ironic that Morrissey, formerly of The Smiths, belonged to a band which sang the lyrics “I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else,” but for years, part of Morrissey’s schtick was that he had no sex life. [LyricsDownload, UK Pop Magazine]
- Tim Gunn
Our beloved Tim has said in interviews saying he is a gay man, but in 2006, he told Instinct magazine that he gave up relationships after the love he had with an ex-partner, Bill, burnt out in 2000. “I’ve never been in a relationship since and I never will be,” Tim said. He continued to tell “OK!” magazine that he hasn’t been on a date in 26 years and he’s “very happy being alone.” Tim’s not asexual, exactly, but he is still inspiration that you can have no libido and still be fabulous.
- Karl Lagerfeld
Not that asexuals want the PR hassle that comes from having a man who insists his cola be refreshed every 30 minutes. But still! Karl Lagerfeld has apparently renounced sex, if cocktail chatter by his friends is to be believed. [The New Yorker]
Morrissey….Tim Gunn…Karl Lagerfeld….not shabby, eh? We need a few ladies, too!


















TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
Lyz
wrote on June 8 2009 @ 04:14 pm: [report]
Just because they don’t have sex doesn’t mean they are asexual. In fact, all your picks seem very burdened and affected by sexuality. I think if our cultural discussion on sex and sexuality has taught us anything its that our sexuality has little to do with the actual act of sex.
Jessica Wakeman
wrote on June 8 2009 @ 05:57 pm: [report]
@Lyz What’s being asexual, then, if it’s not not having sex?
I am not a professional sexologist—I would refer you to Dr. Foxy’s post about asexuality on Feministing linked above for a psych professional take—but it seems to me that if you have no desire to have sex for a 20 years or whatever, you’re asexual.
Dr. Foxy writes about how sexuality is a continuum and that’s so true. Again, I’m not a medical professional, but I think that someone can be sexual at one point in their lives and not sexual at another point. Why not?
jlp1
wrote on June 8 2009 @ 07:03 pm: [report]
Being asexual means that a person does not have sexual feelings. The fact that a person does not have sex for 20 years does not mean that they have no sexual feelings; it means that they choose not to act on those feelings.
JamieInHeels
wrote on June 9 2009 @ 10:03 am: [report]
Jessica,
As usual, I enjnoy yourt writing and your perspective.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation describing individuals who do not experience sexual attraction or do not have interest in or desire for sex. Asexuality is distinct from celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity.
Someone can have no desire for sex yet still engage in the act. Similarly, someone can have sexual urges yet remain celebate.
Just a couple of side points… I recall reading an interview wity Morrissey when he was still with The Smiths where he described himself as a “celibate bisexual” saying that he just couldn’t deal with relationships and he was happier avoiding the hurt that these relationships brought him. I also saw an interview with Tim Gunn on Bravo where, in passing, he mentioned his “wife.” I was surprised since I always assumed that he was gay. Perhaps he just choose the word for convenience sake…