Are You Ready For Marriage?

jadoremode
wrote on September 5 2009 @ 07:05 pm: [report]

See, that’s my biggest problem with girls today. They just dream of a wedding, they don’t dream of a marriage. They think it’s all happiness and bliss but they forget like relationships marriage takes work, even more work. I see it all the time, girls getting divorces left and right and we’re in our twenties. I know for a fact that I’m not ready for marriage or any sort of commitment honestly, I wish girls and gals would take a second, think about and think, am I ready to be with this person for the rest of my life, regardless of the fights and the differences that will arise?

raqueleza
wrote on September 5 2009 @ 07:26 pm: [report]

@jadoremode: I completely agree with you. Especially when weddings are seen as obscene, decadent ordeals where women get their infantile whim indulged(Bridezillas/Platinum Weddings, anyone?).

I have this theory that if every girl has a Quincenera when she turns 15, the divorce rate would go down. The big dress, the party, everyone paying attention to you, even a church service if you want; it’d be a chance to get it all out of their systems.

DancingGeek
wrote on September 6 2009 @ 04:38 pm: [report]

@jadroemode- and most have been dreaming of their wedding since they were very young girls.

I think there should be psychological profiling involved before you get married- not that I’m interested in interfering - it’s just so crazy to get married when you’re too young to know who you are- I know because it’s what I did.

@raqueleza- that’s really not a bad theory!

Coral
wrote on September 6 2009 @ 10:24 pm: [report]

I never want to get married. I have personally witnessed so many horrible marriages—I just don’t want to partake in that. Plus, who says I have to get married or even have a ceremony? Marriage is just a continuation of a present and committed relationship—sure marriage makes a more solid commitment, but in what way? Is it in the way that one is more likely not to leave another because you are married? I know one thing for sure, I never want to be legally bonded to anyone in that sense. If I want to get out of a relationship for whatever reason—it is SO much easier to do it without all the legality that marriage brings. I want a committed ‘forever’ relationship. I never want kids, and I see no point in getting married. People seem to celebrate their wedding anniversaries much more than the anniversaries since they were dating. It’s as if all that time before marriage doesn’t count. And many people think that once you get married, everything changes. Really, nothing does in a sense, nor should it, but unfortunately people change and they don’t know what they want when they make such a huge commitment. And to make all the matters worse, these married couples are having kids early because of pressure from many sources, and how can they be sure when they even truly love each other yet??

I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years, and we both know that we are going to be together forever—we are in a very committed relationship, but neither of us ever wants to get married. And with the commitments we do have, we are not going to let one fight ever stop us, because we still love each other and I think the most important part is that we are best friends.

Lynn
wrote on September 7 2009 @ 10:26 am: [report]

@DancingGreek - I think personality matching is a part of the Catholic pre-wedding requirements. My friend is getting married and was talking about everything she has to go through, and part of it was a Myers-Briggs personality assessment and more stuff like that. I’m not religious but I would personally love to go through a lot of the stuff the Catholic church makes you do, it seems like it is all really helpful to prepare people for marriage.

babylaceface
wrote on September 7 2009 @ 10:39 pm: [report]

I’m young and I know I’m not ready to get married even though I’m very much in love.  I come from a family that has always married young, but we dont believe in divorce.  My great grandparents have been together since they were 18 and they grew up together. So I have some great examples set in front of me.  Its different for girls who have parents who are divorced. It almost seems to be harder for them if their examples have all been divorced. But there are always exceptions and I’m not dissing anyone who has parents or grandparents who have been divorced! my grandma has been remarried 3 times and now she is finally happy.

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and a half. We both know that we want to spend the rest of our lives together, but getting married isnt a rush thing.  We are best friends but we want to experience more of life together first.

magenta generation
wrote on September 7 2009 @ 10:58 pm: [report]

At the age where society presumes I should be settling down or being imprisoned (all about how you look at it); at 32 I am no where near commitment. In fact, I have the sneaking suspicion that I am commitment-phobic at my core so marriage just in that issue alone would not work for me. Plus not sure about having kids AT ALL, especially after watching repeats of The Supernanny.

Second point: I’m Bi so what if my SO is a woman; according to this country, I can’t get married in the majority of the states (or even where I currently live) anyway. It would be a civil union (*ahem* limited spousal rights) and that ain’t the same as having a marriage license and put on my partners insurance.

So therein lies my conundrum, no prospects of marrying a man and currently not looking for one or what if scenario of wanting to marry a woman but legally can’t.  No thank you.

babylaceface
wrote on September 8 2009 @ 01:20 am: [report]

@ magenta generation
I’m bisexual as well and even though i am happy in my current relationship with a man i feel outraged that the US can be open to everything such as religous freedoms but they cant allow same sex marraige? marraige is supposed to be about love and friendship and commitment. if two PEOPLE love each other and wish to get married they should be able to. they shouldnt be able to discriminate against sex the same way it is wrong to discriminate against race.