Are You Afflicted With Modern Female Dating Disorder?
Posted by: Catherine Strawn
Filed in:
relationships
10:00AM, Tuesday April 28th 2009
Are you a woman who is pretty successful in most parts of your life—good job, great friends, nice apartment—but you can’t seem to get it together when it comes to meeting guys and dating? We used to think this was normal, but now there’s a name for the “disorder”: Modern Female Dating Anxiety. Ryan and Jessica Cassady, a husband and wife duo who work (respectively) as a life coach and a clinical psychologist/sex therapist, introduce the term in Stop Wondering If You’ll Ever Meet Him. Apparently, MFDA is when normally self-assured women struggle with dating, developing symptoms like sweaty palms, shallow breathing, and obsessive behavior as a result of modern dating practices. The shift from more formal courtships to casual dating, booty calling, and hookups seem to have stripped some successful women of their confidence. Yes, dating in this day and age is complicated with no clear rules, but we feel a little torn. While it’s nice to know we’re not alone in being short of confidence in the romantic relationships part of our lives, we’re not so sure we have a disorder that requires a name. [Sydney Morning Herald]
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Kiki T
wrote on April 28 2009 @ 10:18 am: [report]
Gawd, soo irritating!!!! I hate how every possible human foible has got to have a syndrome linked to it. While i do think its fun to name all my short-comings and laugh at it…it’s dangerous for so called professionals to have to try to nail everything, in hopes of being the next psychological trend they can try to cash in on or something wannabe like that…The fact is, with this mentality, in our day and age, people are less likely to take responsibility if they can chalk it up to, “It’s my condition,” or pop pills in lieu of doing work on themselves.
This is not me being Tom Cruise, this just me being annoyed two people wasted their time on yet another mindless way to try to get in on (too late) some of that “sex in the city” demographic.
Kiki T
wrote on April 28 2009 @ 10:20 am: [report]
...and this syndrome to me is otherwise known as vulnerability. its rough, and even rougher when ever other part of your life is doing well and there is almost a sense of entitlement that the opposite sex would just see than in your too…but that is the mating game isn’t it?
Kiki T
wrote on April 28 2009 @ 10:23 am: [report]
sorry, that was riddled with typos…but you’re all smart, you’ll be able to figure it out…unless you have the syndrome that stops your brain from sorting out misplaced letters.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 28 2009 @ 10:25 am: [report]
@Kiki: Yeah, everything must have a name, how would you expect doctors to classify something worthy enough to prescribe medication (While slipping a few bucks in their back pockets from the pharma companies).
Kiki T
wrote on April 28 2009 @ 10:27 am: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse I think of you like the male mascot of thefrisky
retro chic
wrote on April 28 2009 @ 10:30 am: [report]
Kiki, agreed. In fact, MFDA should stand for pharmaceutical companies’ “Mo Fo Drug Agenda.” They’re in cahoots with the mental health community to concoct yet another disease du jour paired with druggage.
ps: TC, step off.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 28 2009 @ 10:38 am: [report]
@Retro Chic: It’s also why it’s illegal for me to smoke pot, but Rush Limbaugh can get away with opioids for so many years. Stupid lobbyists and pharma companies (Shouldn’t shame them too much, my job is in that industry, well partially).
cattgirl813
wrote on April 28 2009 @ 10:52 am: [report]
I especially dislike that this is yet another thing created to make women feel bad about themselves. Repression of women comes in too many forms. The commercials for the inevitable drug therapy for this will probably be clips from “The Stepford Wives.”
cattgirl813
wrote on April 28 2009 @ 10:55 am: [report]
@Kiki T & CheeeeEEEEse: Both of you summed this up so eloquently. If there’s a keyboarding equivalent of sputtering with anger, that’s what I’m doing as I read this piece.
@retro chic: I sure hope you get one of the weekly prizes for your comment. That’s pure gold.
lilrockgoddess4u
wrote on April 28 2009 @ 02:28 pm: [report]
While I agree that there are way too many “conditions” out there already, I must say as someone who has borderline personality disorder with suicidal tendencies and manic episodes I thank God everyday for my meds. Without them I cease to function normally. I fought the need for taking medication for a long time. I don’t want to be chemically happy, but I had to come to terms with the fact that my chemicals were already F***ed up all on there own. So while I understand where you guys are coming from, remember that there are some people that do have genuine disorders and conditions out there.
P.S @Kiki T: I have been in therapy for over 8 years working to on this so I am not just “popping pills in lieu of doing work” on myself.
bbpickles
wrote on April 28 2009 @ 06:49 pm: [report]
I agree that giving this issue a medical term is completely un-called for! I do, however, think that the lines for dating and hooking up are messed up! Have they considered that maybe every tom, dick, and harry has their opinion about sex and relationships and publishing everyones personal opinion is confusing….. Every other day there is a new book out about dating. There was a segment on Hoda and Kathy Lee, and one on Rachel Ray this morning! Both were completely different, no wonder woman are confused on “how to date” I say do it your way!
Tim
wrote on April 28 2009 @ 06:51 pm: [report]
Men AND women have been struggling with dating for centuries. Why do we insist on giving it a syndrome.
Jessica
wrote on April 30 2009 @ 05:43 pm: [report]
Why don’t MEN get Modern Male Dating Disorder? They’ve been just as subjected to the changes in gender roles as we have.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on April 30 2009 @ 06:14 pm: [report]
@Jessica: It’s like the clap in a carrier, we’ve got it, but there are no outward indications…