Are People Inclined To Date Those Who Look ... Familial?
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
entertainment
1:40PM, Wednesday August 26th 2009
On VH1’s latest celeb-reality-dating-show, Antonio Sabato Jr.—famous for filling out a pair of Calvins—is looking for wifey #3 and he’s got the help of his super opinionated (because she’s Italian, duh!) mother. Of the contestants that remain, the one who seems most likely to win is Christi Shake, a Playboy playmate with bright red hair and a big smile. In fact, she looks a lot like Mamma Sabato, who also rocks a vibrant shade of red hair. Is this just a coincidence or is Antonio looking for someone who reminds him of his precious mommy? And, for that matter, are we all kind of, sort of, drawn to mates that remind us of family?
To continue with the celeb examples, Michael Lohan’s latest girlfriend, Erin Muller, has the same peroxide blonde and Mystic Tan of his daughter Lindsay. Of course, Lindz is the spitting image of her mom (and Michael’s ex) Dina, but you’d think the resemblance would remind him of their bitter divorce.
And then there’s Hulk Hogan. He’s dating Jennifer McDaniel, who bares such a striking resemblance to daughter Brooke that when he was busted by the paparazzi rubbing suntan lotion on a blonde woman’s booty the gossip mags assumed it was Brooke. Creepy, no?
So tell us—have you ever noticed physical similarities between the guys you’re dating and, say, your dad? And have you ever dated a guy whose mom could pass as yours?
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lea322
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:48 pm: [report]
I read a while back that the reason for this is primal: we’re attempting to continue the genetics of our own tribe/ethnicity. Makes some sense when you think about it that way.
Coral
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:53 pm: [report]
Hmm. Well my mom certainly didn’t pick anyone that looked like her dad. My dad is a very light skinned black, and my mom is very fair and caucasian. So although I’m mixed, I look white, and I don’t really pick guys that look my dad. I have dated a few black guys, but they were much darker than my dad, and they look nothing like them. And the white guys I have date look nothing like my mom or dad. I am kinda the black sheep of the family, so I just pick people who I like, who treat me right…And I haven’t seen any resemblance of any guys I have dated, but then again, I have seen resemblance of my friends’ boyfriends with their family. I think it all depends on the person.
writergirl
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:55 pm: [report]
Nope. My dad was tall, dark, and had dark hair and eyes. Most of the guys I dated were shorter and lighter, tending toward blue eyes and brown/blonde hair.
I DID however wind up marrying a software developer who has the same ideals and principals my dad had; along with the same personality. But they look nothing alike.
And I know I don’t look like my mother in law, though we also have similar personalities.
writergirl
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:56 pm: [report]
My dad was a software developer, too.
Coral
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:57 pm: [report]
I wonder if those who are more family oriented an very close-knit with their families are more likely to marry or date someone who resembles a family member?
tabby
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:01 pm: [report]
My boyfriend is, strangely, the spitting image of my dad. I think my dad finds it charming whereas my boyfriend hates being compared to my dad. I admit that I find it a little creepy when I think about it.
I Go To 11
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:01 pm: [report]
I can see this having some truth to it. There are some striking resemblances between my dad, my fiance, and my lifelong crush Elijah Wood. All have the dark hair/light eyes combo, all are of similar heights (Elijah’s 5’6”, dad’s 5’7”, fiance’s 5’8”), and on a non-physical note, they are all super smart (dad’s an MBA and also a member of Mensa; fiance’s working on his Ph.D. in aeronautical engineering; don’t know about Elijah’s educational background, but he was smart enough not to succumb to the usual child star fate).
betty123
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:10 pm: [report]
I don’t think it supports the arguement well to use parents picking mates that look like their kids. If their kids resemble their father’s ex, who is their mother, then it seems like the father would more likely be sticking to a type rather than dating along familial lines. This pretty much takes out 2 out of 3 of your examples, which you somewhat acknowledge with the Lohan example.
skywalk
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:12 pm: [report]
That’s funny sooo many people have thought my husband and I were brother and sister over the years. I don’t really see the resemblance, but even his grandmother was like you two must spend a lot of time together because now you’re starting to look alike. So I’m not sure if our mannerisms are starting to merge and there is a slight resemblance, so we do look similar. I also think it is the way we get along we are best friends and sometimes come off as friends not husband/wife.
I Go To 11
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:12 pm: [report]
I just thought about this common thread after I made my last post: all have birthdays within 30 days of each other, though obviously they’re in different years. I wonder what Kiki might say about that! (Elijah: 1/28, dad: 2/16, fiance: 2/25. I’m 8/11, though.) Never noticed that until now…hmm…
ThatWeirdGamerChick
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:56 pm: [report]
Psychologically, humans seek out those that resemble “kin”. In older times, those that look unfamiliar (in relation to heritage, race, etc) would have been potential enemies or invaders, and therefore cause subconscious feelings of threat. Obviously, in this day and age those things are usually not an issue in developed parts of the world, where people of all races live together (go USA!). However, even in modern parts of the world, one can see de facto segregation and people tending to seek out those of their own race/ethnicity for relationships even when those of different races are equally available. Mixed-race relationships/marriages are still, unfortunately, less common than same-race ones and people of the same race tend to all live together, separate from other races.
Sorry to go all ‘psychoanalysis’ and diverge a bit from the topic, y’all!
writergirl
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 02:02 pm: [report]
My roommate in gradschool was dating a guy who looked EXACTLY like her. And as a matter of fact, my boyfriend at the time did actually take him to be her sister. (The guy did actually look like a girl, too) Ooops.
Then they were comparing family trees. Some where not too far back, they had a grandmother with the same last name. (But not the same woman). But their families came from the same county in Ireland and the resemblence was astounding.
Personally, I thought their family trees were too entwined to date, but hey, I guess some people like that.
VsegdaOdna
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 02:12 pm: [report]
Is it bad I hope to marry another blonde/blue eyed to carry on the genes?
ThatWeirdGamerChick
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 02:17 pm: [report]
@VsegdaOdna That depends… is it the only reason you’re marrying this person?
develange
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:52 pm: [report]
I’ve never dated someone who looked like my dad, but I go for similar personality traits (which often isn’t a good thing!)
My last boyfriend reminded me so much of my dad—his tastes, his temper, his paternal ways. His protective and nurturing ways me reminded me of my dad, and even though that’s pretty creepy sounding, those qualities really turned me on (in my boyfriend, not my dad).
canadiancutie
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:19 pm: [report]
No. I love the sh*t out of my dad but I am not looking for someone who physically resembles him. That’s just weird.
canadiancutie
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:20 pm: [report]
I’ve heard the opposing theory; that we are inherently inclined to trust those who physically resemble us, but not lust for them, and that this helps us identify family and prevent inbreeding. This makes a hell of a lot more sense to me.
bogart4017
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 12:25 pm: [report]
If at any point in my life i were to bring home any woman that looked like anyone in my family i’m sure my sister would have run them away with the gardening hoe.