The 10 Lies Men And Women Tell Most Often
Posted by: Ami Angelowicz
Filed in:
relationships
8:40AM, Thursday September 17th 2009
This just in! Now we have proof that men are “liars, liars, pants on fire!” Researchers in the U.K. have found that men lie twice as often as women. On an average day, men tell about six lies while ladyfolk tell about three. While I’m sure there are many Honest Abes out there, sorry guys, it looks like you’ve totally slaughtered us in the fibbing department. After the jump, check out the lies each gender tells most frequently, according to this study of 2,000 Brits. It looks like men and women do have something in common in our lying habits—the most frequent lie in both lists is exactly the same.
The 10 lies men tell most often:
- Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine
- This will be my last pint
- No, your bum doesn’t look big in that
- I had no signal
- My battery died
- Sorry, I missed your call
- I didn’t have that much to drink
- I’m on my way
- It wasn’t that expensive
- I’m stuck in traffic
The 10 lies women tell most often:
- Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine
- Oh, this isn’t new, I’ve had it ages
- It wasn’t that expensive
- It was in the sale
- I’m on my way
- I don’t know where it is, I haven’t touched it
- I didn’t have that much to drink
- I’ve got a headache
- No, I didn’t throw it away
- Sorry, I missed your call
Interesting that “I missed your call,” “I’m on the way,” and “I didn’t have that much to drink” made both lists, just in different positions. Which of these fibs have you told? [Daily Mail]
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intuition
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 08:02 am: [report]
I have an addition.
When cleaning up after dinner, he asks, “Do you need any help?” I say, “No, I got it.”
delovely
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 08:19 am: [report]
Are they lying about missing the call or being sorry they missed it? I usually find I’m just not that sorry, “You called me at an inconvenient time and I didn’t answer. Oh well.”
effing hickster
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 08:20 am: [report]
Two for the men’s column:
“No, I wasn’t crying.”
“No, I wasn’t masturbating.”
Rose
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 08:24 am: [report]
How about, “Of course I’m not disappointed, it happens to all men sometimes”?
_jsw_
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 08:59 am: [report]
I have to say, all of these lies seem pretty innocuous.
*sam*
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 09:45 am: [report]
the lie I tell most frequently has to be “Sorry, I can’t come out with you guys tonight. I’m really busy/need to get up early” followed by “I forgot my phone, sorry.” *sigh* I’m so antisocial
Clementine
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 09:56 am: [report]
Sam, I have the same reaction to my “friends”. They’re all social butterflies, but as I get older I just want to sit at home and read or watch terrible reality television.
retro chic
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 09:56 am: [report]
I don’t think any of these fibs are terrible – I just wonder why some people feel the need to auto-default to telling them. The stand-by is sparing feelings. But, there are ways to touch on the truth as innocuously as a telling a fib, and is far more liberating. Not from a moral standpoint, just a practical one. Everyone knows when you’re fibbing, anyway, so why bother? At some point you give it up… mostly.
But one I haven’t quite let go of yet… the “I’m on my way” one. I technically AM on my way, just not as far along. Fudging still counts as a fib.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 10:14 am: [report]
Lucy! You gots some ‘splainen to do!
pinkwhiskey
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 10:24 am: [report]
I have made all of them. On both lists. Apparently I’m a bisexual liar!
oppositeofzen
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 12:25 pm: [report]
@rose - LOVE IT!
I’m still a big fan of “you’re hair/outfit looks great” and the classic “the check is in the mail.”
resullins
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 12:40 pm: [report]
Mine used to be: “Of course that was a real orgasm.” And “No, I don’t mind if you go to happy hour with that girl from work you think is hot.” This was all before I dumped the ASS that caused these fabrications to spill from my mouth like verbal diahrea.
Now, it’s more like… “Yeah, that’s interesting.” My SO now is a mechanic… and sometimes, the technical stuff loses me. Or maybe “No, the bathroom doesn’t smell terrible.”
Hmmm… not so bad. I am guilty of #1 and 7 though.
majicksand
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 01:23 pm: [report]
Very rarely do I actually tell lies. First because I’m way too blunt, and second because I’m bad at it. I’m more of a “lie by omission” kind of girl. I didn’t lie; I just didn’t mention it!
Riley
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 01:27 pm: [report]
@Majicksand - I also prefer moving around the true answer, or answering the question you didn’t ask. As opposed to outright lies. Life in the gray is easier.
majicksand
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 01:42 pm: [report]
@riley: It is easier, isn’t it? I will shamefully admit, however, that I am a total hypocrite. I HATE when people do it to me.
ChoJinn
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 02:42 pm: [report]
“What are you talking about?”
#1 - I always know exactly what the problem is. Playing dumb is great.
writergirl
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 02:44 pm: [report]
I swear, when I say #6, I haven’t touched it. And I don’t know where it is.
My husband has uttered all of those on the male list. And to make matters worse he’s a terrible liar.
_jsw_
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 02:45 pm: [report]
@writergirl: Wouldn’t it be worse if he were an incredibly good liar? Better to know the lies, no?
badger
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 03:18 pm: [report]
Missing the age-old “Of course I’ll still respect you in the morning” or maybe that’s not relevant any more.
writergirl
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 04:15 pm: [report]
@jsw—Oh, yeah. Except sometimes, the lying makes me feel bad. Especially the “It wasn’t that expensive” one, which is usually uttered in response to my thanking him profusely (take that however you want) for yet another piece of jewelery and then telling him he shouldn’t have.
bestbren62
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 07:44 pm: [report]
How about for both men and women “No I am not seeing anyone else:)
Bomb w/ the best hair
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 07:51 pm: [report]
my worse one is the “need any help”, “no, I got it, honey”. then Omission thing is totally me. But the mans “my phone was dead” is the one i hate the most, cause i know theres not very many men/women out there that dont have at least 2 wall chargers and a car charger. Hmmmmmm….........
AChanceAtHeaven
wrote on September 17 2009 @ 08:08 pm: [report]
What he says: “Of course I love you, honey.”
Translation: Of course I love your vagina, but you’re probably #6 out of my current girlfriends.
onewriter
wrote on September 19 2009 @ 08:40 am: [report]
The only one I’m really guilty of is “nothing’s wrong” because he doesn’t need to know how I’m feeling. He can always feel it though, even when he can’t see my face and I’m busy doing something, but I don’t want to burden him with anything extra.
jackofhearts
wrote on September 21 2009 @ 08:11 am: [report]
@onewriter
I’m the same. Sometimes it’s just easier to ponder silently and get your thoughts in order before voicing whatever’s on your mind.
The rest of the girlie lies, well, I guess I’m just too honest for my own good!
remembercedricdiggory
wrote on September 25 2009 @ 05:24 pm: [report]
The only one my boy tells is number two, but it’s moreof with food. So it’s not really a big deal.
And I usually say number one when something’s bothering me, but he can ALWAYS tell, so it doesn’t actually make a difference. And usually, the first time he asks, I’m not sure what’s wrong.
I dunno, in my life people don’t really tell stupid lies like these?
SouthOC
wrote on October 1 2009 @ 10:23 am: [report]
There seem to be two categories here (that cross the gender line):
1. Trying not to hurting someone’s feelings.
2. Trying to save your ass.
ChocoBoo
wrote on October 2 2009 @ 06:50 am: [report]
My ‘girlie lies’:
1.No, I was using my Epilady. (trying to cover up vibrator noise in the shower).
2. That outfit looks cool. (when he’s dressed to go to a club looking like some sort of rockabilly/ gangster persona)
3. That was delicious honey, thank you! (when he’s been sweet enough to cook, but practically poisons me with some sort of vindaloo/spaghetti scary sauce).
equnsuocha
wrote on October 9 2009 @ 01:06 pm: [report]
My boyfriend’s favorites are:
“It was the dog”; as I am choking on a fart that intimates he must have been eating poop to make a fart that smells like that
“My phone was in my truck”; he is in construction and uses this one way too much
“I havent spoken to her in ages”; this is one he always gets busted for since he continually has me check his phone for things and I see all his messages. The follow up is…
“Well I haven’t replied have I?”
My worst lie when I was married was “I was shopping and got so frustrated I left my whole cart at the checkout line because they were so slow”; in response to “why are you home so late?” The reality was I was gambling and smoking to burn off the horror of going home.
Rokkor
wrote on October 14 2009 @ 03:56 pm: [report]
A few I tend to use a lot:
“Of course I’m listening”
“No, it’s not like that, she’s just a friend.”
“Your hair looks great, let’s just go already…”
Yodar Critch
wrote on November 25 2009 @ 10:16 am: [report]
I can’t believe we missed one of the biggest lies of all
“It’s not about you, it’s me.” No, it really is about you.
SouthOC
wrote on November 25 2009 @ 10:30 am: [report]
Woman: “Do you think she’s pretty?”
Man: “No”
Yodar Critch
wrote on November 25 2009 @ 12:02 pm: [report]
@ChocoBoo
“I was using my Epilady. (trying to cover up vibrator noise in the shower).”
If you are doing it correctly, it won’t be the vibrator he should be hearing.
foxxxyrae
wrote on November 25 2009 @ 04:50 pm: [report]
I’m soooo guilty of “Sorry, I missed your call,”
C.Munro
wrote on November 25 2009 @ 05:11 pm: [report]
The check is in the mail.
I only had two beers.
Sorry, going out with some friends tonight.
I’d love to.
Yeah, [That band you love and really want me to like too] is pretty cool.
No, I’m totally out too.
I’ll do it in the morning.
SonaliM
wrote on November 25 2009 @ 09:03 pm: [report]
my ex bf’s constant lie….
“no I swear I never check up on my ex love interests on facebook or chat with them online or even try to make sure I go to the same parties as they do. If you want, I can remove them from my facebook friend list”.....he said that many many time….but i suppose if he deleted them from his friendlist, he wouldn’t be able to keep up with whats going on in their lives
Budlight Lime Gal
wrote on November 26 2009 @ 11:17 pm: [report]
I’M GUILTY OF : I DIDN’T HAVE THAT MUCH TO DRINK. THEN GOING INTO WORK THE NEXT DAY (I WORK IN THE E.D.) AND MY CO-WORKERS RESPONSE TO MY APPERANCE : DID YOU DRINK TO MUCH LAST NIGHT? MY RESPONSE: NOPE I THINK IT’S THE ONSET OF THE S/S OF H1N1.
onewriter
wrote on November 30 2009 @ 07:28 pm: [report]
@sonalim and you’re still WITH him??
Captain Planet
wrote on January 25 2010 @ 01:25 pm: [report]
the “no, really, i’m fine” is epic.
Problem with me and that one is that ‘FINE’ is my safe word- if i say something is “FINE” it translates to ‘i’m not willing to talk about this right now. i need to get it straight in my head so please, give me some time”
while as “no, really, i’m okay” translates to ‘okay, you got me, but YOU need to start this conversation cuz i sure as heck aint gonna!”
onewriter
wrote on January 25 2010 @ 02:23 pm: [report]
that’s only good if the person you’re with KNOWS your code…