An Orgasm A Day Keeps The Doctor Away, British Kids Are Told

Posted by: Jessica Wakeman Filed in: sex
11:20AM, Monday July 13th 2009

Jeebus. Why does everybody get so freaked out when adults dare to talk about teenagers masturbating, considering horny 13-year-old guys probably jerk off more than anyone in the world? Alas, there’s drama in Sheffield, England, because medical professionals are circulating a pamphlet to teens which suggests that self-pleasure might be more satisfying than, oh, having sex before they’re ready or getting knocked up. The pamphlet is called “Pleasure” and it says:

“An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away….Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?”

The National Health Service’s Center for HIV and Sexual Health in Sheffield gives the leaflet to parents, teachers, and other adults who work with youth in the hopes that they’ll have discussions with teens about the safest way (other than abstinence) to enjoy their flowering lotus blossoms. And relieve some stress!

But of course, even though Britain’s teens are surely touching themselves anyway, at least one headmaster of a local school harrumphed that the pro-masturbation leaflets are “deplorable.” Presumably because he’s against teaching kids about self-pleasure, not because he thinks masturbating only twice a week is redonk. In any case, sir, we shall happily ship Bristol Palin over to you as a cautionary tale and see if she can change your mind. [Telegraph]

comments

Kiki T
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 11:27 am: [report]

Time for vibrators in Mc D’s Happy Meals!!!!

Coral
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 11:43 am: [report]

I think that this important for the youth to know about. Then maybe some teenagers won’t get into relationships and have sex too early because they won’t feel that they need a guy/girl in order to have sexual pleasure.

resullins
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 11:51 am: [report]

I think that’s a good idea. If I’d learned to fix myself earlier, I wouldn’t have been quite so promiscuous as a young adult.

SlumberPartiesByRachel
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 08:53 pm: [report]

an orgasm a day keeps the coroner away!

_jsw_
wrote on July 13 2009 @ 09:11 pm: [report]

Telling teenagers (at least the boys) that they should masturbate twice a week is like reminding John Goodman that he should eat once a month.

friskyman68
wrote on July 14 2009 @ 05:02 am: [report]

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with masturbation, but I think its foolish to say that masturbation will prevent actual sex from happening. masturbation does not prevent pregency etc….It’s not a replacement. It’s something to hold you over until….

resullins
wrote on July 14 2009 @ 07:48 am: [report]

@jsw: Ha ha! You’re right… but girls are a LOT harder to convince that it’s ok!

@frisky: I think you may be a little wrong there. I couldn’t have an orgasm when I was a teen/young adult with another person (still can’t, but I’m working on that). The SECOND I got myself a little toy, it happened and I stopped chasing the elusive orgasm until I found the right person. Meaning… less meaningless sex for me! I could work for other people.

cattgirl813
wrote on July 14 2009 @ 07:54 am: [report]

If this is true, does that mean I have a legitimate argument for getting my flex health spending plan to reimburse me for a vibrator purchase?

resullins
wrote on July 14 2009 @ 07:56 am: [report]

@Cat: I would REALLY love to try. Those things are expensive! And I need a new one…

stormygirl
wrote on July 15 2009 @ 06:14 am: [report]

that’s a good point. I mean, which would you rather have…your kid masturbating for a few minutes, or having your kid come home one day and saying to you “Guess what mom and dad, I’m pregnant! It’s official, my life will now be screwed for the next 20 years!” yippie.