I Call B.S. On “Abortion Addiction”

majicksand
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 11:40 am: [report]

Most women, in my experience, struggle with the concept of getting one abortion, regardless of the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy.  To hear someone bragging about having had 15?  That’s horrifying no matter what catchy title you attach.

dizzy
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 11:51 am: [report]

How awful. Was this written by Rush in drag trying to argue that women are using abortions as birth control?

By the way, a timely article:

http://www.economist.com/daily/chartgallery/displayStory.cfm?story_id=14634359

Raugiel
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 11:57 am: [report]

@ Dizzy - I was wondering if it was Rush myself!

This is horrifying, and I deffinatly agree that this woman has serious problems! As a pro-choicer, I of course want abortion to be legal, but work to make sure I am never in the position where I have to make that choice! I don’t think its one any woman WANTS to make.

cattgirl813
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 12:13 pm: [report]

She found it easier and more satisfying to get 15 abortions instead of one divorce?  How irresponsible, damaged, and callous can one get?  I’m pro-choice and get very angry at women like Ms. Vilar who abuse the procedure, making it difficult to maintain the right to an abortion for more responsible women who understand the risks and take responsibility for themselves.  Ms. Vilar’s actions strike me as an extreme example of self mutilation.  That she’s now profiting off her abuse of the system - and herself - is even more outrageous.

joyy
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 12:20 pm: [report]

It SOUNDS like she has issues?  What the hell else do you call a 16 year old marrying an abusive 50 year old who later tries to kill herself several times and uses serial abortions to control her abuser???!!?

soulshine
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 12:26 pm: [report]

The girl who dates my brothers best friend has had 11 abortions, but it’s because she “doesn’t like birth control or condoms and abortions really aren’t that bad..” (as for pulling out, I guess fuhgeddaboudit)
When I heard this I spit my drink out all over the place, I just couldn’t make sense of the words coming out of her mouth.. I don’t understand how someone could.. jeeez

retro chic
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 12:35 pm: [report]

Uhh, this woman sounds bipolar depressive. Maybe even Munchausen Syndrome (not by proxy) with her own “disease” specialty. Sounds like it’s in the genes. Control, attention and sympathy with one swipe of the scalpel. Clever.

writergirl
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 12:51 pm: [report]

I would think any woman who has had double-digit abortions has some serious mental problems, no maybe about it.  Like Majicksand said, most women agonize over having one.  If you can have 10 plus, and not have it effect you, you are missing some part of your psyche.

equnsuocha
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 12:58 pm: [report]

They should have removed her equipment after the 3rd one

Kathls
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 01:08 pm: [report]

I am as pro-choice as it gets, but any one claiming to have had double-digit abortions, I have to see as suspect, maybe an ‘attention-wh*re’, for lack of a better term.  It’s sad, but there are women out there who do get pregnant on purpose, or completely lie about being pregnant just for attention.  That sounds like what’s going on here.

So I’ll just go ahead and say it, I think she’s a huge liar.  It’s something she could say for attention, and never have to prove or be able to prove.  Are people going to ask for a receipt?  It’s pretty disgusting that a book like that would even be published because it obviously was published just for sensationalism.  Maybe even a anti-choicer behind this coming to press, just to stir up controversy?  Who knows.

Does everyone remember a book that Oprah touted a few years back that was allegedly true, but the author later came out and said he made it up?  I don’t remember what it was called, and I didn’t read it, but that’s the first thing that came to mind.

Whether it’s true or not, I think she needs help.

chasingstars
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 01:25 pm: [report]

I’m pro-choice but this lady is ridiculous! Not only has she ended the growing process of FIFTEEN lives (pro-choice doesn’t mean I don’t believe a fetus is the beginning of a human life) but now she’s trying to make a buck off her disgusting story?

I feel bad for the two kids she DID decide to have because she obviously has some issues to deal with.

Claireific
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 01:41 pm: [report]

Jeez. So just because her experiences weren’t “average” or were even “sensational” she shouldn’t have shared them? She’s “B.S.”? What if, like many people, she just had a horrible secret that she wanted to talk about, if maybe to help someone in a similar situation? No, Jessica, I’ve never heard of “abortion addition” either, but plenty of people are addicted to bad #&@$% just in the name of self-harm. I know you’ve heard of that. This isn’t much different from cutting, it just makes us look bad to pro-lifers. That’s what’s pissing you off.

pragmatryst
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 01:50 pm: [report]

What part of this is B.S.?  She got married young, she made some seriously #&@$% up choices that were exacerbated by mental illness, she finally gained enough self-awareness to leave a toxic relationship and get some professional help to straighten out her life, then she wrote a book.  Sounds like an inspiring story of perseverance and personal growth to me.

I agree that using the ambiguous non-medical term “abortion addict” reeks of pop psychology and she undoubtedly knew the abortion angle was going to stir up controversy, but I imagine her editor steered her away from less inflammatory titles like “Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of My Compulsion to Engage in Self-Destructive Behavior Triggered by Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Due to Horrific Childhood Experiences that Resulted in My Bonding With a Replacement Father Figure in a Relationship With an Unhealthy Power Imbalance that Ignited a Vicious Cycle of Dependency on a Radical Medical Procedure that I Won’t Name Here or in the Following Pages Due to the Likelihood that It Will Be Used by Right Wing Fanatics in Their Attempt to Deny Women their Constitutional Right to the Heretofore Unmentioned Medical Procedure”.

skywalk
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 01:50 pm: [report]

This women is evil, I’m pro-choice but this sounds similar to when a nurse will kill infants just for control or something!!

amorsalado
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 01:58 pm: [report]

She’s not addicted to abortion; she’s mentally ill.  There is her entire book condensed to one sentence.

Ariandre
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 02:04 pm: [report]

I have to call b.s. on the double digit abortions.  Unless this woman is extremely rich I doubt she could have afforded so many- unless she was doing back alley abortions.  And any one who says they prefer abortions over birth control ought to have their head examined and their tubes tied.

People who tell these stories (whether the story is true or a product of a seriously ill mind) makes it so much harder for women to maintain their freedom of choice.

Kati-Anne
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 02:21 pm: [report]

I’m confused, did she have her children after the multiple abortions? I know that a couple of abortions isn’t supposed to compromise your chances at getting pregnant, but I figured 15 would render a uterus incapable of carrying a fetus to term.
And I agree, she is/was mentally ill and abortions happened to be her outlet. Unfortunate, but there’s no use in hating on her for it, she clearly had huge issues. Anti-choicers would have found something else to rally around anyways, they always do.

aspenbaker
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 02:28 pm: [report]

This post and many of these comments make me very, very sad.  I lead an organization which provides the nation’s only nonjudgmental pro-voice service for women and men to call after an abortion for emotional support.  Every day our counselors listen to women and men share their stories, experiences and needs, often for the first time. Telling a personal abortion story in public, or even with friends and family, comes at great personal risk - judgment, targeting and attack are not uncommon for our talkline callers.  Nonjudgment by no means equals agreement.  We don’t have to agree with people, their decision, or even like them for that matter, but we do have to seek to understand them and to empathize.  This is the biggest thing that is missing from any dialogue about abortion in this country. One in three women will have an abortion in her lifetime, and articles and comments like these certainly are not helping to reduce stigma or promote emotional wellbeing.

wonder_bread
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 03:10 pm: [report]

this is so off. you applaud the lady who was happy to be having a miscarriage in the middle of a meeting but shun this woman just because she’s in the double digits and says she was an addict… okay so she double digit abortions big whoop… i find it funny that your only judgmental when it makes you uncomfortable what happened to your tolerance? she is exercising her choice who are you to say she’s lying or being irresponsible. last time i checked most of you dont think its a baby until it can survive on its own anyhow. and if she thinks like that then she was doing nothing more than ridding her body of forming tissue…

im both pro choice and pro life… i think whats growing inside you is a baby but its your choice whether or not you want to kill it. This woman isnt an example of the rule she is the exception. its not rocket science… she is not representing women on this issues she’s representing herself.

i feel bad for her that she was so disturbed. but in the end its her body. what she’s done is ultimately between her and God.

Vicequeenmaria
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 03:16 pm: [report]

Reverse octomom.

LaRosa
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 03:23 pm: [report]

Pro choicer here - This bitch disgusts me.
Abortion is a means to prevent giving a child a miserable life for a variety of reasons.
It is something to consider with the utmost respect to yourself and to the child you are carrying (or placenta… what ever pc language you would like to use.)
Abortion should not be taken lightly… EVER. It is plan Z (as in I have already used plan A through Y… and they failed i.e. contraception, or were not right for me i.e. Adoption.)
This woman is obviously mentally ill; she didn’t need to write a book for conservative cannon fodder, she needs professional mental help.
I may be pro-choice, but there is a point when abortion degrades from responsible decision to murder… this woman passed that point along time ago.

@aspenbaker if I were in your profession I would definitely see this situation differently, however, your job has made you biased in the regard that you force yourself to see the issue from their perspective so as not to be judgmental. Yes from her perspective I would not be so harsh, however, the reality of the situation is that the world does not revolve around her, or any of the women that you council. They made a decision and now will be forced to live with the consequences. The consequences of her decision to abort 15 placentas (or whatever you call them)then write a tell all, is that the right will use it as cannon fodder and the left will get pissed off that she would lambaste the pro-choice movement.
Aspen, do want to say that I appreciate the work that you do. Part of treating abortion with the seriousness that it deserves is helping support the women who have made that decision. It is truly a sisterly, and nurturing thing that you do.

OKSUNI
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 03:34 pm: [report]

mmmm… anybody remember “A Million Little Pieces”?

joyy
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 03:44 pm: [report]

@OKSUNI - yes, and unfortunately I ended up reading it as well.  time wasted - Oprah needs better taste AND a better bs detector.

Knitter79
wrote on October 15 2009 @ 06:56 pm: [report]

@aspenbaker - I think there is a huge difference between talking to family, friends, or counselors about an emotional charged situation versus writing a book and profiting from it.  If it turns out she donates the proceeds to a woman’s shelter or clinic that might change things.

It’s stories like these that taint the ‘woman’s right to choose’ discussion.  I would think that even the most die-hard pro-choicer would agree that this lady has taken things too far.  Intentionally getting pregnant for her husband’s attention, then terminating the pregnancy, again to get her husband’s attention.  And now she wrote a book to get attention.  This is feeding her illness.  If we stop paying attention to these extreme wacky people maybe it will stop the next person from trying to outdo her.

CaleeKay
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 01:28 am: [report]

not paying attention could mean someone will continue to do this. that seems just as bad as giving it too much attention.

I havnt read the book, so i dont know her attitude toward any of this, but i have a feeling shes not ‘proud’ of what she did. yeah it sucks shes making money off her horrible past, but im sure theres plenty of people who have made a book and made money off of something terrible.

it comes down to, she needs help, and maybe thats what she did, and that is why she is writing a book.

we could play devils advocate here, and say maybe it was a good thing, because we all know how many people hate the women that are taking advantage of us paying for the 23 kids they decided to pop out because they wanted to HAVE all of their unnecessary kids.

shannac02
wrote on October 16 2009 @ 07:56 am: [report]

The reality is that 95% of abortions are performed because the woman doesn’t want the pregnancy. When people try to argue that many abortions take place because of health issues, its just wrong. Only about 5% of abortions take place in order to save the life of the mother. I remain pro-choice (to a certain extent), and I’m totally supportive of women having complete control of their bodies, but women using abortion as a form of birth control needs to STOP. It is ludicrous to assume that if you don’t like the pill, condoms, or any other form of regular birth control, you can just go out and get an abortion and POOF! Everything is okay. This mindset is sad.

troisheures
wrote on October 17 2009 @ 02:16 pm: [report]

I am totally pro-choice, but abortion should never be an excuse to be careless! It just sullies all the cases where a woman is in a situation where an abortion seems like the best option.

senate78
wrote on November 14 2009 @ 09:18 pm: [report]

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that book. I would like to think that she is remorseful and understands what it is that she’s done.
I’m not proud but I had one and I regret it, it wasn’t what I wanted. There others who feel no ways about it, which bothers me.
One friend has had 5, one 7 (one included twins), I’m not going to tell anyone how to live their life but
using abortion as a form of birth control is not ok!
I hope whatever the author makes from this book will be donated to charity, I don’t think she should make a profit.