A Woman Pees Standing Up And Loves It

It’s a pain to have to pee sitting down, especially in gross public restrooms, bars, port-o-potties, airplanes, outdoor camping trips … just about everywhere. That’s why, by the age of 10, most of us have perfected the art of the hover. It’s great—keeps you from coming into contact with any potentially hazardous germs and creates definition in the quads and glutes. Just kidding. Hovering sucks and we know it. Well, Salon writer Michelle Rabil discovered an alternative to the perils of the hover: peeing standing up.

After stumbling upon an advertisement for The Urinelle, a paper pee cone that allows you to piss like a man, she decided to give it a test drive. The verdict? The surprisingly thin piece of paper that rolls up like an ice cream cone changed her life. “A tidy stream flowed up and away (far away) from me out the end of the cone while I just stood there holding it like a dude holds his joint,” Michelle said of her first experience with The Urinelle. “I marveled at how I and everything else in the bathroom stayed dry, and then simply tossed the cone in the trash. When I use the cones I feel like I am transgressing in some way, breaking rules, entering a club I’m not supposed to belong to—and it feels awesome.”

OK, I am intrigued. But does joining the male pee-pee club somehow imply that you want to be a guy? That you’re rejecting your femaleness? Michelle doesn’t think so. “I certainly don’t want to be a dude (most of the time); I just enjoy going to the bathroom like one,” she says. “I’m not trying to subvert nature. I get that the sexes are built differently, which is a good thing.” [Salon]

So is peeing standing up the final frontier? Is anyone besides me thinking about purchasing a Urinelle starter pack?