8 Ways To Beat Breast Sweat
Posted by: Simcha Whitehill
Filed in:
style
2:00PM, Wednesday August 19th 2009
Big tits and August don’t mix. In this hot hot heat, sweating bullets could kill your good looks, no thanks to gross breast sweat. I once had a dude dip a finger in my cleavage on a 100-degree day only to retract his hand in horror. Oh strapless bra, you sold me down a river, literally! But since then, I’ve learned to beat the heat and you can too. So, don’t let your melons become watermelons this summer. Save yourself with these tips…
- Wear Black: The sweat just blends into the darkness. As for white, well, you know what happens to it when it gets wet.
- Fabric Of Our Lives: Sure, cotton is the most breathable, but a good thin polyester vintage dress will never ever show sweat. But if you’re not brave enough to look like you just walked off the set of “Three’s Company,” that’s a-OK. Just be sure to avoid silk, satin, and other materials that soak it all in and leave a ring when they dry.
- Loose Girls: Don’t wear skin-tight spandex stuff. Easier said than done if you’re a showy slut bag like me. But, if you stick to no-cling, flowy tops, the material won’t get stuck to your skin.
- Cut And Print: In addition to going a little boho in the cut, you should also pick a bold, colorful print. Boob sweat just blends into a nice, bright, rainbow, large-sized floral, for example.
- Stand Up: Boob sweat is bad enough when it’s on your chest, but if you slouch, girl, well, it’ll slip down your stomach making a bad situation worse. So, pretend you’re back in ballet class and keep your posture ladylike.
- Padded Bra: A thick bra has got built-in sponges, but they’re hard to wear if you’re walking around with a pair of watermelons strapped to your bust. So, keep reading!
- Hanky Panky: Stuff your bra like you’re a tween all over again. Except this time, instead of rounding them out, roll/fold them under your booby flap. Simply tuck the tissue under your titty and slip it out when you get into the air conditioning. The hanky will absorb the problem without creating an embarrassing one. Well, that is the tissue should go completely unnoticed, unlike the time one popped out at the school dance.
- Powder Your
NoseBoobs: Oddly enough, baby powder can really do the trick in a sticky situation. Plus, it feels nice and smells yummy. Be careful not to overdo it, or it’ll get clumpy. Gross ... clumpy so should have made our list of the 36 Words You Should Never Say In Bed.
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sklut
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 01:12 pm: [report]
Big boobies in Florida is a nightmare. They get stuck together and make me feel so gross but baby powder is my new best friend, after I shower I hit all the important places and I’m good to go for the rest of the day.
ChoJinn
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 01:51 pm: [report]
If your boobs look anything like that girl’s in the photo, I would suggest you do absolutely nothing, except perhaps call me. I know a great Argentinian spot over near Wrigley.
Ginger
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 02:13 pm: [report]
I just got boobs this year (thank you, birth control) and while I was so excited to finally be endowed in some way, this summer also introduced me to boob sweat and I had no idea how to deal with it. So thank you for this advice.
Also: “Easier said than done if you’re a showy slut bag like me.”
Simcha, you may not be able to hear it, but I am clapping for that statement. Power to the showy slut bags.
toyen
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 02:40 pm: [report]
I live in Austin where it’s the 60th day in a row it’s been over 100 degrees. (Why am I still here? I know…)
Baby powder is my best friend.
GAgirlinNYC
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 03:00 pm: [report]
Omg! I love this article… thank you so much for it. I was at a concert in Hotlanta last night dying from sweat. The boob sweat was by far the worst. I, too, do the baby powder trick! It’s great.
Whooptedoo
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 05:16 pm: [report]
It may be uncomfortable for many but sweaty boobs still look mavalous.
Keesh Mia
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 07:18 pm: [report]
Deodorant on the breast works wonders. Honestly! Try it. It will be the end of sweaty chest and bonus… they smell nice
Tart and Soul
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 10:27 am: [report]
Sweaty breasts may not be comfortable, but I bet anything guys love it!
theglosspost
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 12:52 pm: [report]
Just swipe a little deodorant in between and underneath your pair. Problem solved.
Aarlone
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 06:44 pm: [report]
So… powder or gel deodorant? I’ve been using baby powder this summer, but it’s not quite doing the trick and I need a little something more until I can get these awful things cut off!
fallenangel915
wrote on August 20 2009 @ 08:04 pm: [report]
Not gel…you will feel even more sticky until it dries, which will take longer in a “moist” area. Powder deodorant works wonders for me; that’s what I use under and between my breasts when I know things will end up getting sticky.
tishfish44
wrote on August 22 2009 @ 08:46 pm: [report]
Now, how about a tip for avoiding having to wear two bras in this heat? My DD’s flop all over the place without the extra reinforcements, but I hate all the layers!
Aarlone
wrote on August 22 2009 @ 09:06 pm: [report]
I have nothing but love for the Shock Absorber bras; I don’t do a lot of jogging (most of my cardio exercise is done on an elliptical machine… much less bouncing!), but they do a fine job of supporting my H’s through my normal daily activity.
http://www.shockabsorber.co.uk/bounceometer/shock.html
It’s a UK brand, so the cup sizes are a bit different if you’re in the US; they’re also a bit expensive, but I feel they’re worth it. And you can even buy them on Amazon.com. So, yeah. I’m a fan.
SourBall
wrote on August 22 2009 @ 10:05 pm: [report]
I’ve always been partial to ice packs, myself.