Eight Things Straight Men Can Learn From Gay Porn
Posted by: Simcha Whitehill
Filed in:
sex
9:30AM, Wednesday May 13th 2009
I’ve tried to get my boyfriends to watch guy-on-guy porn with me. Yhey’re game to watch pseudo-lesbians paw each other, but they draw the line at man love. But there’s a lot a guy could learn about sex by watching two dudes go at it. So, I’ve decided to give guys the cheat sheet on what they could learn from gay porn.
- We All Want To Feel Someone: Men take the blame for wanting anal sex, but a lot of women want to do it, too. Men have something back there that’ll get them off—the prostate. All I’m sayin’ is, you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.
- Be Aggressive: Gay porn can be a little rougher, and still consensual. Something about a man throwing a woman against the wall to kiss you is sexy. It shows you want to do me, with passion. I’m not made of porcelain; I won’t break. Feel free to let me know how bad you want it.
- Wear Nice Underwear: Packaging does a lot for a package. Leopard banana hammocks are a more of a niche market, but a decent pair of tightie-whities is a total improvement.
- Role Equality: We both have the ability to be “the top” or “the bottom.” Sometimes, I want to be the one taking the lead, and sometimes I don’t. That doesn’t make anyone less of a woman—or a man, for that matter.
- Trim Your Hedges: Our secret gardens are always growing, so you’ve got to maintain yours. No one is saying that you’ve got to weed the whole place, but, you know, you gotta keep up with your manscaping.
- Location, Location, Location: Why don’t we do it in the hall? Or the pool? Or our military bunker? Well, you get the idea.
- Orgasms Aren’t Optional: It not over until the mutual money shot. We both need to get what we came for.
- Lube Job: Feel free to use lube. I make it magically, but every bit counts.
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
Adam(aka)AP
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 09:45 am: [report]
Thank you, you single handedly ruined my morning with the above picture. Please excuse me while I take a moment to step outside.
powplz
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 09:53 am: [report]
nothing like homophobia in the morning!
zefron8
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 09:59 am: [report]
sorry i don’t wanna feel someone up the butt. am i alone on that one? and i’d take a nice pair of boxer briefs.
lilrockgoddess4u
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 10:08 am: [report]
My ex was bi and he let me put on a strap on an do him! It was great! Totally sexy!
justme
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 10:15 am: [report]
I agree with zefron8. Absolutely no and #1
I disagree with Adam(AKA)AP - that pic is pretty hot.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 10:19 am: [report]
I think every one of those points are valid and good, yes EVERY one.
Little Lamb
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 10:23 am: [report]
Ulghh…unless I could actually feel the sensation that a man feels, I’ll keep my pretty little cooch as the main attraction. No strap-ons for me!
Taurwen
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 10:24 am: [report]
well personally I have no desire to have anal sex in either position… And I hate when a guy won’t stop because I haven’t cum. If I say I’m done, I’m done for gawd sakes! Though I think that’s just a communication thing.
Arsenic
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 10:29 am: [report]
I’ll like to add a corollary to number 7 after talking to some of my girls:
Sometimes we women don’t come. It doesn’t mean we aren’t having fun or that your aren’t doing the right things- sometimes it just doesn’t happen. I will add though, that this is NOT an excuse to not try- just listen to us if we say it ain’t happening.
jojo32
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 10:32 am: [report]
I’m on board with the “I’ll pass on the anal, thanks” crew. I dont get the big attraction to that. I’ve tried it a time or 2 w/ my ex-husband, I didnt enjoy it, I dont have any desire to try again. Nor do I have any desire to put anything up any man’s butt.
Also agree w/ Taurwen, please stop if I say I’m done. I get (almost) as much satisfaction getting my guy off, so I dont need to cum each and every time. I promise, I’m good, now please stop. LOL
Humble Bee
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 10:40 am: [report]
Military bunkers are HARD. seriously. Rock Hard. not that i know from experience,.... hehe.
I agree with Arsenic, we dont cum all the time. I think it definitely takes longer for a woman than for a man, therefore they should try a tad harder. I had an ex who would rarely cum, at first I freaked out, because I assumed that all men were easy, lol. not this dude, he took HOURS. I talked it over with him and he said he was still getting off and having a good time, so I just kept doing my thang. I know I take a while in order to get the big O too.
Naneenya
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 10:55 am: [report]
I think the message here (about the double Os) is not that each person should get off EVERY TIME - but that the effort should be put into reaching that point during sex.
If a guy always said “well, she’ll never get off, so why try?” then they need a reality slap.
Putting forth the effort to help their partner reach their ‘gasm is what really counts.
No one just wants to be pumped and dumped.
Adam(aka)AP
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 11:11 am: [report]
@joyy I’m not homophobic I just have a gag reflex when I see pictures of dudes making out.
retro chic
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 12:00 pm: [report]
I agree, men don’t take to the vids, but think Brokeback Mountain allowed people to be introduced to man-on-man concept in the great outdoors, however sad the story, rather than in a staged environment. Like wild stallions and raw animal love.
Gay Porn Tips, I’d say:
3 Def hot underwear, even sheer expandable manties. That goes for the undies on the bed too. Fresh, coordinated sheet sets in a clean, dusted and decorated boudoir (with multi light sources) going beyond token candles, or a saucer with condoms and lube bottle on it.
5 Love the trim or shave!... mutual ‘scaping is fun, too.
7 Since there are so many ways to give/get Os, I expect it for both without the need for drawn out “sex-sessions.” That’s tiring.
8 Lube! Bring it. Don’t *need* it, but it adds to the whole alchemy of sensation and visual excitement.
Croutons
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 12:02 pm: [report]
Totally, Adam! And you’re not a hopeless moron either, you just reflexively make jaw-droppingly moronic statements.
Oliveira
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 12:11 pm: [report]
This post is one of the reasons I *LOVE* The Frisky.
May I also say that the way gay porn is filmed is different to the way (most) straight porn is filmed; in gay porn both actors get shown, all body parts present, including faces, in straight porn very often once penetration starts the woman seems decapitated and the guy reduced to nothing else but penis.
@Adam—I am so not racist, I just get a gag reflex when I see Barack and Michelle making out! (This is, of course, not true.) You’re such a straight sissy. If we gays got gag reflex every time we saw heteros kissing, we’d have to be on IV drips all the time as we wouldn’t be able to keep any solid foods in. Whee! So glad I’m not heterophobic!
sam04
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 01:12 pm: [report]
@Oliveira - Haha. I always use the racist example when someone makes an equally inappropriate remark about man-on-man lovin’.
@Adam… weird that you seem to be a fan of Chasing Amy (my favourite!) when it focuses so much attention on homophobia, however “mild”.
I’m really not big into porn (so maybe I’m completely wrong), but it seems like in traditional straight porn the men are repulsive. Gay porn has much better looking men!
stormygirl
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 05:57 pm: [report]
@Oliveira-lol, that’s so funny and so true.
wild-ting
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 06:12 pm: [report]
Love this post! Good pointers for the straignt guys.
And I LOVE gay porn…it’s sooooo HOT!!
Linz
wrote on May 13 2009 @ 08:19 pm: [report]
The only thing I want less than a guy putting anything in my butt is putting some part of my body in his butt. I get that there are people out there that are allegedly into it, but I say BOOOOO!
PS Male-on-male gay porn is HOT!
Gingee
wrote on May 17 2009 @ 05:15 am: [report]
If I hear that ANY guy I’m with is watching this, I will be happpy to say, “Get out of my face, get out of my life.”
I do not care if the guy watches that other stuff, “straight porn”, as long as he does not expect me to look at it.
If any man does anything physical like slamming me against the wall, he will be going to jail.
Oh, yes, another thing that gets old: The guy who keeps pounding away because if you haven’t had an orgasm, by the gods, he’s going to keep going till you do. Give it a rest.
kellieann
wrote on May 19 2009 @ 09:02 pm: [report]
everybody say it together: ORGASMS ARENT OPTIONAL!!
Yes, thank you!
Jake12
wrote on June 10 2009 @ 02:10 am: [report]
Good article… but from the male and married perspective (a) I think I can pretty safely say my wife agrees Zefron8 (no anal either way and yes on boxers) and also on the option to stop, pre-orgasm. Unless, that is, there’s a lot she’s not telling me (uh oh, now I have doubts).
Also, (b) now it’s time for someone to write “8 Things Women Can Learn From Gay Porn.” Not that I’ve seen a lot of it myself. At least not intentionally. But I’ll bet the blowjobs are a lot more aggressive, the “do it anywhere” philosophy is something a lot of women could also afford to embrace, taking the initiative once in awhile is probably less of an issue, and I’m sure there’s more… but I’d rather someone who watches it does the note taking.
duhh
wrote on October 26 2009 @ 03:01 am: [report]
I’m trying to be more open minded in my old age, but, I can’t understand something I don’t feel myself…and I don’t feel that…......(lesbianism)......so how could I put myself in someone else’s shoes…..that is a man into men or a man….............but, I will say that the other day, I was trying to figure out why a man would want to be with a man, and if I was younger, I’d be making some smart a** comment about it…......but, now, I really try to figure it out, and I have come to the conclusion that most men who like men are just simply sick to death of women (nag, belittling, dumping them, screwing their best friend, etc.)......or perhaps they were abused by their mother…...or influenced in the wrong manner by their father or a male father figure…...at an early age…...but, I didn’t stop to think that the prostrate is in that area…..and I know when I have anal sex, the real thing is always better than a dildo…..and frankly, when you go to the doctor for a prostrate exam, it’s not much different, except he’s using a glove and his fingers…......plus, I thought maybe not too many women would do this for a man, though they claim to “love” him…....I deliberately try to do this for my significant other, but he hates even a finger up his arse….......so, not everyone likes this kind of activity…....however, he has had a couple of experiences in his youth that probably shaped that opinion for him…......