Homemade Sex Toys, Sex Toys Home Made, Household Sex Toys

The 8 Sex Toys You Didn’t Realize You Already Have

Posted by: Simcha Whitehill Filed in: sex
1:30PM, Tuesday August 19th 2008

What did women do before vibrators were readily available? They did these common items perfect for keeping house and happy. Now we understand how housewives get their satisfied smile. After the jump, the hush-hush household tricks of the trade with 10 homemade sex toys you didn’t realize you owned.

1. Back Massager You can get a cheap-o back massager at any drug store, but we’re willing to bet nine out of 10 are really used on backsides. Bonus if you’ve got one with big handle!

2. Washing Machine/Dryer Two words: spin cycle. Like a good roll in the hay, you have to wait for the moment when it’s right. Hop on, get off, clean house.

3. Cell Phone on Vibrate There are pricey remote control toys, but you can also go the poor man’s route and simply use your cell phone. No awkward remote, just set your phone on vibrate, wrap it in saran wrap to protect it, affix it to your panties, and have your man give you a call. We’re pretty sure this is what the old AT&T slogan, “reach out and touch someone,” was really talking about.

4. Electric Tooth Brush Designed to get between hard to reach places, this vibe is tough on tartar, but gentle enough for clits. Plus, they’re often rechargeable so you won’t have to keep replacing batteries! Use the brushless side and feel the sweet scrubbing action.

5. Bath Tub Faucet Everyone talks about a hand-held massaging shower head, but it doesn’t have a thing on a plain old bathtub. Lie on your back, with your legs up against the wall so you form a human 90-degree angle. Turn the water on, keep it cool, and get wet!

6. Electric Razor Any electric razor worth its price in batteries can take care of your unwanted hair and your horniness.Gillette is onto our little sexy secret and has released a battery operated, disposable razor called the “Venus Vibrance Soothing Vibrations Razor for Women.” Mmm hmm, since when has a razor sounded so…sexy?

7. Tickle Me Elmo A lot of women get their start with self love by humping a pillow. This is similar, only the little cuddler vibrates!

8. Blanket/Throw/Quilt Lay on your back (naked, obvi), hold onto one end of the blanket with your feet and the other with your hands, and then rock your hips up and down as you rub the taut fabric between your legs. Presto!

comments

par3
wrote on August 20 2008 @ 01:54 am: [report]

im not so sure about the blanket…sounds like a lot of work!

tomr
wrote on August 20 2008 @ 08:47 am: [report]

Tickle-Me-Elmo as a homemade sex toy? I’m corrupted for life…

Keisha Adams
wrote on August 21 2008 @ 02:38 am: [report]

Maybe next time I’ll visit in a toy shop, I’ll see a new tag in elmo toys.

“This toys is only suitable for children, keep it away from adults”

Shelly Swallows
wrote on August 22 2008 @ 06:33 am: [report]

Hmm, I’ve got one of those razors and while they do indeed vibrate and the handle end is nice and rounded and COULD be great, the vibrations are at the razor end. And I wouldn’t be too keen on razoring my clit. Ouch.

shelleatualive
wrote on August 22 2008 @ 11:24 am: [report]

If your going to go run out and buy a vibrating razor, toothbrush, back massager or blanket (ick) to defile why wouldnt you just save yourself the time and get a real vibrator?

Croutons
wrote on August 22 2008 @ 01:36 pm: [report]

Don’t forget ye olde claw hammer!

chrissy
wrote on August 25 2008 @ 07:57 pm: [report]

Why wouldn’t you just get a real vibrator?

You don’t have to worry about hiding any of those other things from your children.

duckie
wrote on August 26 2008 @ 11:50 am: [report]

..sometimes there isn’t one around- vacation, new partner’s house…

the tickle me elmo thing is weird.
I wonder who did the product tecting for this article lol

Gotinha
wrote on August 26 2008 @ 04:45 pm: [report]

The washing machine seems to be a vibrating ideia!!

Sex Toys
wrote on August 27 2008 @ 10:12 pm: [report]

They make sex toys that are hard to even notice that they our sex toys, like the candy bar vibrators, or the rub my ducky. They even have the male sex toys like the flesh lights stokers that look like flash lights.

Sex Toys
wrote on August 27 2008 @ 10:13 pm: [report]

Forgot to mention you can get those sex toys mentioned above here.

Ariana386
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 09:55 am: [report]

Just FYI—the vibrating razor thingey DOES work—new batteries vibrate enough of the handle end to keep it, um, interesting. And the spin cycle of the washing machine works for two partners as well as one solo act. But the Tickle-Me-Elmo? That really creeps me out. I have a 4 yr old, and never ONCE have I perused his toy box and selected a single toy and said,“Hmm… I wonder…” Ewww… I guess it takes all kinds.. Personally, they offer toys that are so discreet, you can slip them into a special pouch on your special panties and go off to work with no one suspecting why you are so chipper for a Monday morning.. Trust me on this one!

lilo
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 10:01 am: [report]

@#5: Beg to differ on the hand-held shower massage or vibrating shower head. And it also probably saves more water than the faucet.

noreally?
wrote on September 27 2008 @ 08:14 pm: [report]

seriously? with all this stuff you could just as easily walk into a lover’s lane store and buy a busy bee! it’s about ten bucks is tiny and portable, and you can turn the dial up or down. plus if your going to use it with a partner it’s not as intimidating as a huge dildo, or that creepy tickle me elmo. and rather than a blanket if you want to use fabric use a silk scarf, it’s softer and will not leave a much residue and/or pet hair as a fuzzy blanket would.

a guy who cares
wrote on October 14 2008 @ 07:07 pm: [report]

With the use of all these fake things no wonder guys are jerks, nothing beats the real thing.
Yes there are lots of creepy guys out there, but then there are many who are not. And might I add…way better than a sex toy…

Sex Toys
wrote on October 19 2008 @ 08:05 pm: [report]

Great Tips, ill have to try out the washing machine, if that doesn’t work ill go out a buy a vibrator!

Jane
wrote on October 25 2008 @ 04:30 pm: [report]

I ll never look at Elmo the same after reading this post!

sex toys
wrote on December 3 2008 @ 11:21 am: [report]

A really great list! I like the washing machine, it could be turned into a kinky orgasmotron

nikki
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 10:26 pm: [report]

with all this stuff you could just as easily walk into a lover’s lane store and buy a busy bee. Great Tips, ill have to try out the washing machine, if that doesn’t work ill go out a buy a sex toys A really great list!

one deep cleavage
wrote on May 1 2009 @ 02:17 pm: [report]

Anyone has actually tried the washing machine?