Seven Reasons Why Going To A Wedding Without A Date Rocks
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
relationships
8:00AM, Wednesday June 3rd 2009
Simcha, Kate, what’s the big deal in going to a wedding sans date? I’ve gone to several weddings solo, and it never occurred to me that I should: A) feel offended that my invitation didn’t include a “plus one,” or that B) I should feel the least bit insecure that I didn’t have a “plus one” to invite anyway. One of the weddings I went to solo was shortly after a bad breakup in which I found myself truly single for the first time in several years, and it was for a snotty cousin who was five years younger than I and who positively delighted in “beating” me to the altar. But, so what? I had plenty of family to catch up with, enough cute boys to smile at, and an open bar to make even the most mundane of weddings tolerable. And even if I had thought to invite a guest (and had gotten the okay from the couple), I can’t imagine a more awkward date than dragging some poor guy I was just getting to know to a boring wedding (and come on, they’re all mostly boring) where he’d be forced to schmooze with my entire extended family and answer questions about when he planned to put a ring on it. Sure, the alternative meant being questioned about my single status, but I doubt any of the old ninnies who pressed me about it really spent more than a few minutes worrying about the state of my love life. After the jump, the seven reasons you’re better off going to a wedding without a date.
- Think of all the other dateless cuties you’ll get to flirt (and maybe more) with.
- Less time making introductions, more time drinking!
- Seriously, don’t you know how many people hook-up at weddings?
- The statistics are crazy!
- More cake for you.
- You won’t be pestered at the next family gathering about “whatever happened to that nice boy you brought to so-and-so’s wedding?”
- More reason to snicker at all the unhappy couples forced to slow dance awkwardly.
Need more wedding-related advice? Check out our Wedding Survival Guide section!
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Bonus
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 08:20 am: [report]
Keep an eye out for Vince Vaughn & Owen Wilson…
WinkyFace
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 10:05 am: [report]
Wendy, you were lucky you knew people at the wedding. What about when you go to a friend’s wedding where you don’t know anyone? My friend from high school wanted to keep it small, and even though she knew I had a serious boyfriend, she specifically told me I couldn’t bring him. All the people I did know were in the wedding party, so they were pretty busy and I couldn’t hang out with them and THE ONLY other person without a date/spouse was this guy I’d met once when I’d visited my friend in college. She wasn’t trying to set us up, but she told us to look out for each other so we’d have someone to talk to. Even SHE knew it would get awkward! I tried to have the best time I could, but it would have been so much better if I had my boyfriend there.
Wendy Atterberry
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 10:11 am: [report]
Yeah, I hear you. I guess I’m so used to weddings where everyone’s pretty close that it seems silly to need a date there to have a good time. I definitely think significant others should be invited weddings and it’s pretty tacky when they aren’t, so it’s too bad yours wasn’t invited to the wedding you went to. If a friend wasn’t close enough to me to feel somewhat close to my boyfriend by proxy, I probably wouldn’t consider her/him close enough to attend the wedding. But that’s just me.
Kiki T
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 10:40 am: [report]
You can leave whenever you want! ...this is a good reason to go anywhere solo!
fallonthecity
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 10:40 am: [report]
Wendy, I’m with you. Most weddings I’ve been to are for family or friends who are part of my “circle” - so I always know other people there. I only brought a date to a wedding once, when my cousin got hitched, and he was close enough to my boyfriend to send him his own invite
Usually, I’d rather not bother with date. I enjoy catching up with my family/friends without having to worry whether my date is miserably bored or not.
If I figure there will be nobody I know at the wedding, I’ll usually just send them a gift and skip the wedding. Or, I’ll go, and stay long enough to congratulate the bride & groom, and then make my escape
juliePS
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 11:37 am: [report]
@WinkyFace: this is exactly what I was moping about in the comments for Simcha’s article (I think that’s which one it was, but don’t hold me to it, haha). I feel like, if you know that someone you’re inviting will know absolutely no one, especially when it’s a big wedding, why not at least give them the option to bring SOMEONE they know?
writergirl
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 01:41 pm: [report]
I’ve gone to 90% of the weddings I’ve been invited to, alone. Most of the time, it sucked, mainly because I was—as always—the only person without a date. So, I started taking a date weddings because at least while the other couple’s were all googly over each other we could toss back the drinks at the bar and laugh.
Bad Breakup
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 01:51 pm: [report]
I feel like I’m missing out, as I have never been to a wedding. All these articles about them, I just have nothing to say…Although, the list provided above does convince me that when the time comes, I should go it alone.
asumama
wrote on June 3 2009 @ 03:01 pm: [report]
I agree completely. I’ve gone with dates and had fun, but I recently stopped bringing dates and discovered I can dance with way more guys if I am solo.
There are always people to talk to and I don’t have to entertain my guest who, most likely, doesn’t know anyone else at the wedding.
It is much more fun to go by myself or with a group of singles than to sucker in a date, who almost always ends up to be an ex I am on good terms with. I don’t know why bringing an ex as a date seems like such a good idea, because it can backfire big time.
One of them just told me if I brought another guy as my date, I’d be shopping DOWN. haha, I do love confidence in a man.
majicksand
wrote on June 4 2009 @ 11:39 am: [report]
I’m getting married in a few weeks. Many of our guest know each other, but there are a few from out of state who only know me or my fiance. Hopefully, it won’t be a big deal. Far from the usual “boring” wedding, we’re having a cook-out at a campground. Tem minutes worth of “I do’s” followed by a big-ole party. Super casual dress, picnic food, a water-balloon battleground, and liquor. Single or attached, anyone who can’t have a good time at my reception seriously needs to re-evaluate their idea of fun.
Maybe my idea of a wedding won’t work for everyone, but I think these events would be a lot more fun if people loosened up. How many of us really want to get dressed up just to stand around making polite but dull conversation for 2 or 3 hours?
Wendy Atterberry
wrote on June 4 2009 @ 11:50 am: [report]
You’ve got the right idea, majicksand—sounds like you’ll have an awesome wedding.