10 Things You Didn’t Know You Wish Men Knew About You

Oh, Men’s Health, I think I owe you a thank you note! Just when I think I’ve run out of stuff to blog about, you never fail to provide something so silly, so ridiculous, I’d be a fool to pass up the opportunity to poke some some fun. Today’s gem is an article called “50 Things Women Wish Men Knew,” which should really be called “20 Things Every Man Should Know Before He’s 10 and 30 Things Only Terribly Insecure, Needy, Neurotic Women Want Their Men To Know.” After the jump, 10 things from the article I can’t imagine any woman I know wishing her man knew about her.

1. I’m convinced I’m pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.
2. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.
3. If I’m not having sex with you, I’m…  a.) ...having a fat day. b.) ...not feeling “connected” to you. c.) ...blackmailing you to get something I want.
4. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I’m not afraid to use it.
5. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
6. I want to be Madonna.
7. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
8. I love it when you’re sweaty.
9. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.
10. You should know all this and more without my telling you.

No, you shouldn’t. Really.