Tips For Men: Up Your Chances Of Hooking Up
Posted by: Simcha Whitehill
Filed in:
sex
2:30PM, Thursday January 15th 2009
When we heard our friends at AskMen.com wrote a book on how to get women from the bar to the bedroom, we were convinced the “tips” were going to be wild ways to get a lady drunk. However, we found “The 11 Rules For Picking Up And Pleasuring Women” to be, well, kind of sweet. From “Express Yourself” to “Keep Her Satisfied,” the tips seemed more focused on connecting and mutual satisfaction than just an ego-fueled crotch conquest. Go figure! They should consider changing their name to AskGentlemen.com. Anyway, while those goals are inspirationally high falutin’, here are some quick, tangible, girl-approved ways a man can up his chances of wooing us from the bar to the bedroom.
1. Pet: Wear the world’s softest sweater so I can’t stop touching you. Who doesn’t want to cover their body in cashmere? If you’re the one wearing it, you’re in a good position to get groped.
2. Invest: Offer to buy me a drink. I know I’m an independent woman who can get herself anything she wants, but asking what I want at the bar is the first step to getting us to tell each other what we both want once we leave.
3. Not Made For Walkin:’ Wear awesome shoes. They don’t have to be Ferragamos or even collectible Air Jordans, they just have to match your outfit and look sharp. Shoes say A LOT about a person, a fact that has seemed to escape many men. Kicks that are worn out, orthopedic looking (like all white or all black sneakers with the same color rubber soles), or just a lame knock off of a trend, ruin my chances of wanting to kick it with you. Once, a guy who was way to good looking to be hitting on me actually was and I couldn’t believe my luck! That is until I spotted his cream grandpa-looking shoes. Call me shallow, but all of a sudden his dimples and charm disappeared and I lost my attraction to him. It was not my proudest moment, but it can be easily avoided.
4. Hand Check: Don’t get grabby in public, because I’ll pull back. Even if I think I might want your hand up my skirt, I’m a lady! I can’t go flashing my caboose to the world every time someone wants to do me. I’m not Lindsay Lohan, so respect my privacy and save the raunchiness for behind closed doors. Remember, first you have to get me there.
5. Flattery: If you like what you see and hear, then compliment me. It doesn’t have to be about my looks, that’s for sure. Honestly, it sounds cheesy when someone tells me I have nice eyes, but a general, and less cliche signal to let me know you’re interested helps me relax. If I know you’re picking up what I’m putting down, I feel like I can open up with my mouth first, and then my legs maybe next.
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EastCoastMale
wrote on January 15 2009 @ 03:11 pm: [report]
I have never been a bar man myself but I was hoping these tips may have some insight but to me they are more of teh same. I suppose they would be girl-approved since they involve a suitor looking nice and getting a free drink out of any man who wants to chat them up. Who doesnt like something free some people who just want to talk.
Provocative Girl
wrote on January 15 2009 @ 03:35 pm: [report]
my boyfriend’s bromance has a book from that mystery guy on vh1 and he follows the rules all the time! when ever we go out he’s always talking about the rules you have to follow to get girls! so funny!
Lynn
wrote on January 15 2009 @ 04:27 pm: [report]
ECM - it might seem “all the same” to you, but as a woman who has been on the receiving end of more than my share of really horrible pick-up strategies, I have to say that I wish every man could read these tips. Sounds like you’re just ahead of the game
To me, the drink thing certainly isn’t about getting something for free. I mean, I have the $4 to slap down on my own beer. But if someone buys me a drink, I feel singled out. It says “I saw everyone here and you are the one I’d like to get to know better.” It’s a symbolic thing, it’s not just Lynn being cheap and not wanting to pay for her own beer. And if I accept, I’m telling him that I’m interested enough in him to spend at least one drink getting to know *him* too. I won’t accept a drink from someone I’m not at least a little interested in.
EastCoastMale
wrote on January 15 2009 @ 06:33 pm: [report]
I only say all the same not because I profess to know it all because I actually avoid bars and alike pretty much all the time. I wont go deep into that subject but I never really “approach” women in typical public settings. Wanted to say that I realize that its not about getting a drink for free in that the women on the receiving end is looking for it or goes to a bar with the intention of just flirting to get all her drinks paid for, I am right there with you that it is a symbol of uniqueness that a mans picks that woman out to talk to. I just mean ” all the same” in that, at this point in time I think this chivalrous ideal about only buying drinks because a man wants to show a woman she is special has been replaced for the most part in mens minds that a drink is pretty much run of the mill. “can I buy you a drink” or “what are you drinking” are some of the most talked about introductions between men during male-talk because they know their chances to at least get to introduce themselves are greatly increased.
Like you said in your first paragraph, Im sure that many people both male and female, were only approached by well dressed and snazzy individuals who have maybe a beverage to offer. So thats why I lump it into “more of the same”.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on January 19 2009 @ 10:22 pm: [report]
I like to start conversations with the unforgettable approach. Here is what you do, you wave at someone so you get their attention, once you do you walk over, and if its loud in where ever place, you bend in slowly and make your voice barely heard and say “Do you like bubblewrap”? And then you just kinda stroll away till later. This works well when you don’t have the angle at the moment or there is just no time to talk at that second, like you are at a busy bar and waiting for a drink.
Weirdness works wonders.
“How far can silly putty stretch before it collapses under it’s own weight”?
benglish320
wrote on January 22 2009 @ 06:21 pm: [report]
I can honestly say that I’ve never tried to pick up a woman at a bar. Why? Because it’s a poor place to try. It’s often too loud to talk, and the constant pressure from others, whether they be other guys or girls, can create awkward situations. The best place I have ever been to meet women are laundromats. Yep, that’s right, laundromats. I have one in my building, but I still go out to do my laundry. It’s a great place because there is simply no pressure. Your both bored and have to wait for a long period of time, there is often little noise, and if you know when to go, probably not many people there.
CuteCora
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 10:41 am: [report]
Ok, First I would like start off by saying, this might give men the wrong impression, that doing these things, following these tips will enhance their chance of getting laid. None of those things would help me as a female make a decision to sleep with a man because his his shoes matched his outfitt.. really is this how shallow we have become! There is a article on here about finding love in the weirdest places with the weirdest people..read that to have a better understanding of what I mean. Personally the statment about the ” hand check” I would much rather know now then before we get behind closed doors and things become awkward! ( unless you like that) If a person can not be honest or be who they are naturally then really you could be liking someone that is currently showing themselves as FAKE to you .. So I say to the men out there, do as you do, what you want to do and act as you would like, because if you dont on the first impression then you have advetised yourself wrongly and that could create more problems.. so if I was at a bar and had some boob inserts in, some fake long beautiful eyelashes in, fake nails and a blonde wig, well certainly If I take a man home , he would be dissapointed by the fact that my tits just fell to the floor, my eyelashes fell off and I cracked a fake nail while accidently scratching my blonde wig to hard that it to falls to the floor, he might be a tad dissapointed that some of the qualitys he liked about me are just false advertisments. Funny thing is as well, I dont disagree with the tips either, however I beleive only Smart, sophistacated men will follow and take the correct way..as for the otheres..welll.. Who knows
CuteCora
wrote on February 11 2009 @ 05:14 pm: [report]
just an additional note: The “PET” part of the tips.. if I walk up 2 man and i am groping him because he has a soft sweater on..will he not get the wrong impression?? will I become some typical bar slut… of course he will want to take me home..not to get to know me..but a simple bang..again these tips should be cautioned to the wise only!