41 Crazy Ways Men Think They Can Make Us Swoon

abbylyn
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 01:27 pm: [report]

I actually kind of like 18.  But I love getting mail that’s not junk/fliers.

Riley
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 01:49 pm: [report]

I like doing #24 and not washing my hands!!

Perceptible
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 02:04 pm: [report]

Ha ha ha! Wendy these lists are already funny on their own, but 10 times funnier when you add your comments to them. Who writes these lists? College freshman?

Queen Frostine
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 02:06 pm: [report]

Number one wasn’t mentioned above, but is the ONLY one that WOULD make me swoon.

1. Ask her to dance.

Raugiel
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 02:15 pm: [report]

I have never liked getting cut flowers. I appreciate the thought, but you just gave me a $60, one day show peice. Wouldn’t we be better off getting a DVD to watch together?

I do like 41 though. A good massage might turn “too tired” into “this is EXACTLY what I needed”.

Ghirardelli
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 02:19 pm: [report]

Wow, that was seriously funny. I don’t even like getting flowers—that wouldn’t make me ‘swoon’ at all.

shesgotspies
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 02:21 pm: [report]

While I get why some of those might not make most people swoon, and I’m all for feminism (obvi), I think a lot of those are kinda sweet. They should happen naturally and without prompting, but how much do we complain when guys DON’T do sweet things like that? So really, I think it’s cute that at least they’re trying to make us happy and trying to figure out what we like. How is buying you flowers (an action any guys can do, regardless of his feelings for you) is more swoon-worthy than trying hard to make you laugh when you’re feeling down?

jimnist10
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 02:25 pm: [report]

BARF! The guys who write this crap (and even believe it) are the same jerks who attend the “Fashion Meets Finance” events. And the women who acutally swoon for anything on this list are the same women who attentd the “Fashion Meets Finance” events.

Wendy, your commentary is hilarious!

My bf’s nickname for me makes me swoon. He calls me “Lovely”. Or when he suprises me by brining home ingredients to make dinner with (which mostly he cooks) instead of us ordering takeout or eating frozen dinners. Swoon!

delovely
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 02:28 pm: [report]

13. Occasionally call her by her first and middle names.

That’s the one I don’t get. I’d be annoyed, just call me by my freakin’ name!

marchimark
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 02:31 pm: [report]

Maybe instead of “Ways to Make a Woman Swoon” they should’ve titled it, “Ways to not be a Douche”. I may not swoon if a guy asks to see my baby picture, but I might be a little more convinced he’s not a complete ass.

conspicuous
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 02:33 pm: [report]

WTF?:

12. Stand her naked on a sturdy chair and lick between her legs.

While a small few of these are sweet gestures, I wouldn’t consider them to be swoon-inducing…

reanerbean
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 02:35 pm: [report]

I agree with shesgotspies.  It’s kind of cheesy to recommend these things, but I wouldn’t be upset if my fiance did any of them.

Oliveira
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 02:36 pm: [report]

I am not a woman, other than honorary that is, but if a guy asked me to see my pictures as a baby, sent me ANYTHING (how does a sperm sample sound? dead flies? cut hair and nails?) by mail that wasn’t a card, letter or package, touched my arm after returning from the loo and at the end asked me if I want to wrestle, I would try my hardest to get a restraining order.

angelspinning
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 02:38 pm: [report]

I don’t find these all that insulting. Most of the ones listed here, at least, I think are either cute or just kind of whatever.

shellerbee
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 03:00 pm: [report]

Men’s Health is so sexist. I love it…. not.

sklut
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 03:13 pm: [report]

24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back. Because I want to make sure I’m dating a big boy that knows how NOT to pee on his hands…

lilo
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 03:25 pm: [report]

This is hilarious—although I would totally succumb to the picture-asking.

Titaniumhalos
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 03:29 pm: [report]

HAHAHA I almost fell over when I saw the worship her breasts one.. OMG YES! WORSHIPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s like the saying my grandmother told my mother, and my mother told me, “They only get more stupid as they get older.” TRUE. F**K Men’s Health.

LayD
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 03:39 pm: [report]

These things aren’t all bad.  Yes, some are absolutely ridiculous (who swoons because a guy shaved?)and would be a turn off (if a guy calls me when he is sad, he seems pathetic and needy) and some aren’t about making a girl swoon, but about getting girl off (sex standing up, licking between the legs) But to receive something unexpected in the mail, to have someone tell me there is no one else they would rather be with, remembering exactly how I like something, yes, that would be much appreciated and would make me “swoon”.  Its all about attention, and being shown that you are significant to them.  But I don’t need my breasts worshiped, and I really don’t think I would be in the mood to wrestle if I am not in the mood for sex, and I would be really creeped out if I fall asleep in one place and wake up in my bed no longer wearing the same clothes.

belligerentjane
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 03:48 pm: [report]

Jesus H Christ.

Men don’t, and will never get it.

*sam*
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 04:10 pm: [report]

10. Wash her from head to toe in the shower.

Ok, that one gets me every time when my bf does it. I think it’s b/c it was a major turning point for the main character in “Song of Solomon” that symbolized how Milkman had finally come of age and was able to engage in a mutually respectful relationship—this single act demonstrated that he finally regarded a woman as an equal and therefore made his relationship with Sweet the most gratifying.

everything else though, is comical, at best.

_jsw_
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 04:24 pm: [report]

I’m convinced that Men’s Health is a satirical magazine so subtle that even its own writers aren’t aware that they’re not to be taken seriously. Only a few key editors know that they are, in fact, producing a work of humor each month.

I think it’s edited by the same folks who write for The Onion.

_jsw_
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 04:26 pm: [report]

Has anyone yet noticed that the author was named Nicole Beland?

See? I’m right. It’s humor. Subtle, subtle, subtle humor.

_jsw_
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 04:29 pm: [report]

Er, “is named.” Well, assuming shame didn’t cause her to change it.

MissChaotic
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 04:30 pm: [report]

You want to impress a girl? Treat her with respect, and never lie to her.

Heatherer
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 07:01 pm: [report]

OMG how dare a men’s magazine write a list of suggestions for making your girlfriend feel important.
Why always so serious and cynical Frisky?
Yeah, some of the suggestions are cheesy, or plain weird. But I bet, as much as it might not appeal to you, each one of those suggestions will work for at least one woman somewhere.

Bitsy Ravenclaw
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 07:59 pm: [report]

I think #24 is baesd on the psychological basis that women who are touched in affectionate, non-sexual ways upwards of I think twenty times a day are easier to rile up at night. I’m not advocating the list; I think it’s slightly misguided in most ways in that some of the suggestions border on creepy and slightly shallow, but that might be the basis behind that particular one…

KellyJean
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 08:02 pm: [report]

Ok, not all of these are horrible.  I read the whole list, and some are nice.

17. Mention your upcoming anniversary before she does.

21. Pick her clothes up off the floor.
(Because wouldn’t it be nice to find your slacks magically back on the hanger?)

30. Ask her specific questions about her work
(Read as: Actually listen to her enough to ask specific questions…)

37. Offer to fix something in her apartment that you realize is broken.
(Because men fixing things is just sexy.)

onewriter
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 12:20 am: [report]

@jsw Er, “is named.” Well, assuming shame didn’t cause her to change it
HAHA!!  Well, I’ve not read them all yet.  I may not.  But I think it’s sweet when guys try to know what we like.  However, I’m still remembering something I read once that was supposed to turn me on that is as many of the suggestions often are, weird.  It was supposed to turn me on to have HIM put MY lipstick on ME.  ugh…how weird.  So, really, just think outside the box.  My sweetie likes his forhead squished together when he’s tired.  I took note of that and do it for him.  He knows I think it’s sweet when he gives me a hug from behind, because they aren’t reciprocatable at the time and the receiver has to just receive.  There are as many ways to be lovers as there are people.  If you watch your partner, you will learn what would be sweet and you won’t need any mag telling you to: “get naked and take him a beer”, or “put her lipstick on her for her to make her hot for you”.  Ugh.  Just use your heads people.  If “we” stopped buying Men’s Health, Cosmo, etc. they’d stop printing that drivel.

jackofhearts
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 04:02 am: [report]

I think this reads more as a list of “things that you should do occasionally in a relationship because they’re nice.”

I find it hilarious that Men’s Health readers need a reminder of how to behave towards the person they love.

Many points seem to be remembering to do/say things that will be pleasing to a girlfriend.

I think I just sort of expect that from my boyfriend as standard, rather than a bonus feature: “Wow, my boyfriend kisses me in front of his mates - I am the luckiest girl in the world! Oh my god, he knows what coffee I take! What have I done to deserve this angel? HE LIKES MY BOOBS! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!”

Only response - well, duh.

Chebs
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 06:08 am: [report]

“6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by.”

Maybe it’s just me being cynical, but if a man will only hold my hand when women hotter than me are walking by, I’d be pissed.

“8. Kiss her eyelids.”

... I don’t even like touching my own eyes to put contacts in, you keep your stubble away from my eyes please.

“14. Buy her your favorite rock album of all time on vinyl.”

Because nothing says “I love you” more than something *you* want.  Wanna buy me a bowling ball named Homer next?

“29. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)”

My first thought was “hey, I use two towels!”. My second and third thoughts were “stop stealing my towels” and “get out of the bathroom while I shower”.

“33. Send her very expensive flowers when you screw up.”

I will substitute chocolate for flowers, and hope my guy does too.  Otherwise, he’s just set off an allergy attack.

“36. Read her a story when it’s her turn to drive during a long road trip.”

Yes please, put me to sleep while operating a vehicle at high speeds.  That sounds like a winning idea.

“40. Kiss her hand in front of your most die-hard bachelor buddies.”

I actually kind of like this one, except substitute hand for cheek.  And this better be an activity we both enjoy, not “hey guys, look at this chick I get to have sex with and I can drag her around wherever I want”.

doe966
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 09:25 am: [report]

#23. I once took my wife to a sporting event at the beginning of our relationship. ‘Made her stay even after the beer shower in the 1st quarter. Oh yeah, did she ever swoon.

I go by myself now.

Jill
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 10:19 am: [report]

I didn’t read the original article, but the ones you listed here I honestly don’t find offensive at all.  Your sarcastic comments insulted me more.  I know the source isn’t notorious for being the best advocate for feminism, but the ones you posted are actually pretty true.  I’d love it if my boyfriend would do some of these things.  To be honest, a lot of these things are things men just don’t think of sometimes.  Basically all I got from these was, “Don’t take your girlfriend for granted, don’t ignore her, do sweet things randomly”  If all guys who read that get even one of those right, I think it’d be a good thing.

Oliveira
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 11:53 am: [report]

Jill, but they’re not offensive, they’re just plain odd or silly. And if a man needs stuff like “moan her name before she goes down on you” or “notice when she is wearing something new” written down in a magazine in order to think “oooh, yes, I never thought about that, this will like totally make her swoon”, the man needs his head checked.

Or, wait a sec, straight men REALLY need to read that in a magazine…?

8-s

spanishbutterfly
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 12:26 pm: [report]

lmao ... some of them arent that bad….honestly ive done #8 ( im not a guy).. to my bf i take his face in my hand an i kiss him all over his face then his eyelids, nose n mouth ... that made him swoon lol

moonblossom
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 12:32 pm: [report]

#24 just sounds like germ spreading to me

Lynn
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 01:11 pm: [report]

A lot of them are too cheesy to bear, but a couple of them I would actually really like. The crying thing, yes. I don’t cry a lot so when I do…I need someone to give a damn. But if she does cry at the Notebook or whateverthefuck, then don’t bother.

41 is particularly awful though. If I’m too stressed and don’t want sex, don’t trick me into thinking you’re being nice until we get to the “wrestling” part and I really see you’re trying to manipulate me. Chances are, if I tell you I’m not in the mood, then I’m NOT in the mood.

Shriekback68
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 01:17 pm: [report]

My, my, my…look at all the women calling men “sexist” for MAKING AN EFFORT.

Some of you people are ridiculous. Here’s an article trying to give clueless men some direction, some tips on how to show their significant others some attention and what’s your response? Dump on them.

Lovely.

I can guarantee you if your man didn’t do ANYTHING, you’d be screaming for a list…ANY list… like this.

Give us a little credit and stop with the name-calling. We’re trying. When you think of the alternative, it doesn’t sound all that bad, does it?

Miss Mia
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 02:00 pm: [report]

@ Shriekback68. I agree with you.

Those women who are showered with attention or small details take it for granted or simply expect it because its been given to them. However, if they didn’t receive any kind of attention they would be hoping for anything on this list.

Although some of these suggestions (we women think) should be obvious, it is important to understand that some men really are lost and need advice as straightfoward as this. Instead of bashing these ‘corny’ ideas, say thank you. Its great to recieve attention, even if your man gets help from an article such as this.

Also ladies, remember its important to make HIM swoon too. Lets not be selfish here.

babybritain
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 02:09 pm: [report]

my guy does most of the things on this list, (except for undressing me when I fall asleep, that’s a little weird). Not in a contrived way, and definitely not because he read them in some list. Doing something nice for someone else, especially someone you love doesn’t mean you think they are weak or incapable. Accepting nice things doesn’t mean you’re not a feminist. This article makes me sad that lady-kind has become so cynical. Of course these things seem silly and over the top, that’s what love is about!

Jill
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 02:25 pm: [report]

@Oliveira:

But the thing is sometimes things become routine and men do forget these things.  Hell sometimes I forget to really appreciate my boyfriend too.  Anything that reminds guys to pay more attention is a good thing.  And I’m sure the other numbers on the list (the ones I said I didn’t read) were probably ridiculous, and I also think the undressing part is a little weird, but I really don’t think any of the above were offensive at all, I think they were sweet.

but then again I guess this might just be the “is opening the door for women offensive” argument all over again.

Queen Frostine
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 02:29 pm: [report]

Some of you guys are missing the point of the list. The list is NOT titled “How to be a kind and thoughtful man”. It’s titled “How to Make Her Swoon”.

There is a HUGE difference between making thoughtful, loving gestures, and making me swoon.

Gestures are nice and show me that you appreciate me, love me and are thinking about me. I don’t disagree with a list that reminds men of lots of little things they can do to make a woman feel special. I love these gestures. But they won’t make me “swoon”. Swooning is usually defined as going weak from pleasure.

If you want to make me swoon, sweep me off my feet, press your body to mine, kissing passionately along my neck to my shoulders while whispering to me in explicit words just how badly you need me right now. I guarantee you my knees will go weak.

Shriekback68
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 03:05 pm: [report]

Good point, Queen. But your way wouldn’t fill an entire article. )

onewriter
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 04:54 pm: [report]

@shriekback68 haha!!  nope.  simple truths don’t often take a lot to say

Gingee
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 04:58 pm: [report]

Oh, how about trying something that shows that you, the guy, have empathy?  If a turtle is trying to cross a highway, and it’s safe, get out and HELP it.

Expensive flowers?  Please, you’ve just waasted a lot of cash on dead weeds. 

“Worship her breasts.”  YUCK.

“Send her something in the mail.”  Yes, IF it is an invitation to a White Tie Dinner.

onewriter
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 05:33 pm: [report]

that’s a bit harsh gingee.  I would love to get a love letter in the mail.  I have no idea what “worship her breasts” entails, but if it’s spending some time on them, I’m all for it.  Flowers are nice, but just give me some from your yard.  It took as much thought and you didn’t waste money.  It is even better than buying them because when you’re out and about, they’re displaying them all over.  At home you get used to seeing them.  If he goes out in the yard LOOKING for flowers it means more.

gabymar
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 05:48 pm: [report]

some of hte things on that list are plain stupid, but some of them are actually cute, and then there are these 2:

28. Give her jewelry -not to sound like a gold digger or materialistic, but: Swoon!!

39. Make love to her standing up, against a wall - yes! do that a lot!! swoon!

Shriekback68
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 06:29 pm: [report]

Hey, I LOVE breasts. I refuse to apologize for that. And I do mail the occasional letter. I’m sorry if that offends. And flowers? I’ve pissed off many a woman with the gesture of a single daisy or rose. NOT.

Geez, you guys must be TOUGH on your men. :-((

onewriter
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 06:31 pm: [report]

don’t put me in their catagory…I have never turned down a single flower in my life!  ESPECIALLY when it was for no reason

Shriekback68
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 07:16 pm: [report]

Sorry, not trying to generalize here. But I feel like a lone voice in the wilderness on this subject. But hey…I have testicles.

ARealGuy4Ever
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 08:28 pm: [report]

Is anyone else seeing that what one person is slaming as silly a another person a few posts later is saying they love it? It comes as no surprise that people are different and like different things. If nothing else, this is a list of suggestions for things to try. It reminds us that in the middle of busy days it’s always good to make your special someone know how important they are.

Hell, if my gal read the female version of this I would be flattered.

stupidhumanzz
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 08:38 pm: [report]

Some of the suggestions are a little odd (ie. 9. Ask to see a picture of her when she was a child)

Some are a little too self-serving (ie. 14. Buy her YOUR favorite rock album of all time on vinyl)

But at least a handful are spot on, (ie. 2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes…; 3. When she’s coming down the street to meet you… walk toward her as soon as you see her.)
And a few suggestions, however misguided, did have their heart in the right place. For instance, suggestion #6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by, might actually work. If the woman had caught both of yours attention and the girlfriend turned to you to see if her boyfriend were staring at her.

Rickydotcom
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 10:48 pm: [report]

Did anyone bother looking at the link to Men’s Health online?  The list was compiled by a woman, Nicole Beland.  She’s one of Men’s Health regular column writers and often answers questions posed to “Ask the Girl Next Door.”

Are some of the suggestions hokey?  You bet, but as you all know, all men are not created equal and some need some guidance when it comes to being romantic.  Think about it?  Where do most men today learn how to treat a woman?  From their fathers?  From their mothers?  At school?  From their buddies?  From their sports “heros?”  No, TV and films probably play the largest role, and how realistic is that?

Men’s magazines and other media fill a much needed educational role since most men today lack healthy, realistic male role models.  No different than Cosmo or Glamour or Allure or the Frisky.com do for women.  Be grateful that there are magazines and websites such as these.  If men didn’t have these sources to turn to for advice, we learn all our bedroom moves from porno! 

Lighten up, everyone.  Besides, I’m sure some of what she listed was meant to be tongue-in-cheek.  What if the chair’s not sturdy?

And how did I do?  Twenty-three down, and twenty to go! (there’s actually 43 items on her list).

Be well.

Shriekback68
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 10:53 pm: [report]

ARealGuy and Ricky: great posts. Not everyone is going to respond to each gesture EXACTLY the same way. People aren’t mathematical equations, waiting to be solved…they’re complex animals fraught with inconsistency and unpredictability. But as I say in my original post: at least this is indicative that men WANT to make an effort to connect with their SO’s. To read it as some kind of bible etched in granite is to miss the point.

Ellis
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 11:11 pm: [report]

The list is very silly, but it didn’t seem to me to suggest that women are insecure, needy, child-like creatures.  It’s just…a lame little list of generic romantic gestures.  I don’t know, I found the list boring - not offensive or outrageous.

ChoJinn
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 12:38 am: [report]

Someone should create a “41 Ways Purposelessly Cynical Articles and Their Authors Are Part of the Problem.”  Really, these are just a bunch of harmless gestures - I can imagine only a suicidally-unhappy person genuinely taking issue with these.  And the suggestion that men compliment their gf’s breasts, in the context of the 40 other sugestions, is somehow objectifying, sad, or sexist?  Honey, Cymbalta is available by prescription, just ask your doctor.

I can see some of these tips being effectively used by women.  My girl screws up and send me a cool plant?  Sends me something in the mail for no reason?  Unexpected, and therefore awesome.  As ARealGuy mentioned, behavior that at least attempts to make your significant other feel special should be encouraged.  Ridicule this behavior on one hand, and lament the paucity of “decent guys” and the ubiquity of jerks - ahh, the new feminism.

onewriter
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 01:23 am: [report]

absolutely….

Shriekback68
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 01:24 am: [report]

Love it, ChoJim. Dead on the mark! Sometimes I feel as if I can’t win being a male these days. No matter WHAT I do, I’m criticized. Why even try??

onewriter
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 01:27 am: [report]

nooooooo don’t say that.  MOST women love it when their man tries to please them.  and it really does usually work, sometimes just by the effort alone.  My man isn’t great at massage, but his willingness to give me a backrub melts me into the mattress.  When she is worth your efforts, you will know.

prgirl
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 06:08 am: [report]

I agree with 2 previous posts. Whatever happened to “it’s the thought that counts?”  When someone is trying to do something nice for me it melts my heart(if you want to call it “making me swoon”, knock yourself out;). I think we are too focused on getting it right rather than just appreciating the effort, and this leads to unhappiness and frustration.

Seriously, think about it. There is no perfection in life, and life is hard enough as it is without adding more things to get “right” to the mix. Life is imperfect in its beauty. So these might not be exactly what you want? Forget about it!  Someone is trying to make me happy?  How freakin’ lucky can I get! I love it when bf does something to try and please me, I don’t care what it is.

That reminds me, I need to go tell him how lucky I am to have him in my life;)

prgirl
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 06:12 am: [report]

And before someone comments on my statement “I love it when bf does something to try and please me, I don’t care what it is.” with “how about mailing you a human head to show his appreciation, does that make you happy?’ let me just point out I am aware that I should have used a qualifier, but I just don’t care enough to be perfect;)

Riley
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 07:46 am: [report]

I hate the word swoon now, thanks to this article and the comments.  It was pretty useless before, but now…

_jsw_
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 08:12 am: [report]

Have we all vented enough? Is the following a decent summary of what’s been said?

(1) The article was written by a woman. Not that it really matters, except that it probably prevented some additional clueless-man bashing.

(2) The word “swoon” was excessive for most of the suggestions.

(3) Everyone likes different things, so there’s likely not a single item on the list that everyone here hated or loved.

(4) A big part of what makes someone feel good in a relationship is knowing that their partner is interested, caring, and affectionate - and when their partner performs gestures that show that interest, care, and affection, it’s great. The “good” gestures differ from couple to couple. The key is that people do them.

(5) In many ways, it’s the thought (and intent) that truly counts here. Someone who sends a dozen roses delivered by a carriage pulled by bunnies isn’t necessarily performing a grand gesture if it was something they did with a few clicks on the internet because their buddy clued them into it as a great way to “make her feel wanted.” Someone who give you an old t-shirt might be performing a fantastic gesture - if, say, it’s the shirt they slept in while younger and hoping to someday find the right person, and the giving of it to you means that you are that person of their dreams.

(6) No matter what the intent, if he does something that he should have known would be a bad thing (you have allergies and he is aware of them but sends flowers anyway, for example), the gesture loses most of its impact and often turns out to be proof of how little he listens.

(7) Men’s Health could post the periodic chart and there’d be discussion here about how it was stupid and sexist.

onewriter
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 08:16 am: [report]

@jsw I KNEW it was you just reading my email.  HA!  Well put.

_jsw_
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 08:23 am: [report]

@onewriter: Sorry to have hacked your account. I was bored, and your email was interesting. :o I personally think it was a thoughtful gesture.

onewriter
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 08:25 am: [report]

@jsw hee hee!  oh baby it makes me swoooooon!!  seriously though, I DID know it was you just by reading my email.  I do think you got it…I hope that finishes the conversation.  ha!  probably not

Heather
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 11:07 am: [report]

KellyJean,

#37 ... I’m a sucker for that. The other day, my bf dropped me off, noticed the door on the entertainment center was taped shut. He took the door off, moved the magnet thingy and now it works fine.

I totally swooned.

Shriekback68
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 12:10 pm: [report]

jsw: hahahahahah @ #7!! That truly made me lol. Thank you.

prgirl
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 12:24 pm: [report]

@jsw: as always, I am in awe of your ability to get to the heart of it all (written with true respect, no sarcasm:).  Now if only my students could analyze and summarize the origins of the Cold War with the insight and clarity you put forth in many of your posts, I’d be in heaven…and #7 might be why I never could memorize all those elements….

majicksand
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 02:33 pm: [report]

@jsw:  It’s a good thing we’re both happily married, or I might just have to fall in love.

Speaking of my husband… He does lots of really sweet things without realizing he’s doing them.  Occasionally he does the ‘bring home flowers for no reason’ thing, but mostly it’s unconscious courtesy.  I told him that he spoils me, to which he responded, “I don’t make enough money to spoil you.”  I assured him that although I wouldn’t turn down diamonds, the everyday thoughfulness means a lot more.

My ex-husband made a lot of money.  He bought me lots of “stuff”, but he was a jerk.  We’re divorced now.

Guys, be kind, be helpful.  Not because it will impress anyone but because she’s important to you.  It will mean more than expensive gifts ever could.

onewriter
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 04:22 pm: [report]

@majicksand Regarding your comment

“Guys, be kind, be helpful.  Not because it will impress anyone but because she’s important to you.  It will mean more than expensive gifts ever could.”  Honey, THAT says it all right there.  If a woman isn’t satisfied with that, she doesn’t deserve him.

GreatSmile82
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 04:50 pm: [report]

I read the full list on Men’s Health and some of those are kinda cute and would work on me.  More than anything the list just shows how clueless some men are about women!

_jsw_
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 04:53 pm: [report]

@prgirl: Thanks. *blushes* Maybe the fact that I’m often distracted by two young girls playing and fighting nearby helps.

@majicksand: I’m going through the initial part of a divorce, sadly enough, but should what I think could become (post-divorce) a relationship (with a current friend) fail to develop as such, can I use you as a reference?

@Shriekback68: Yeah, I can just see the comments:

- “Periodic = ‘Period + Ick’ because men just can’t deal with what we put up with every month and because they had to name it something sexist.”
- “Helium (He)? Why not shelium (She)? Same lithium/lithsheum. And so on.”
- “Sure, Marie Curie got to discover radium, and it killed her. Men got to discover all the safer ones because they’re cowardly stupid pigs. Borons.”

onewriter
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 06:25 pm: [report]

hahahaha!!!  (sigh) always good for a laugh

dreams715
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 06:47 pm: [report]

If you’re going to make fun of a publication Men’s Health is not likely a good place to start.  At least they make the effort to be genuinely helpful.

I read a number of comments about “guys who write this crap” and so on…

It was written by a woman.

Women should know better than anyone that everyone is different.  Some of the suggestions would be effective for some.  Some for others.

Lastly, to clarify for everyone… men are and always will be clueless about women.  Isn’t that what makes the game fun though?

Have a great weekend!

lizzi6692
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 12:04 am: [report]

I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but i personally believe that any woman that doesn’t think at least one of these things is sweet, they are completely nuts, lying to themselves b/c they are feminists, or have never been in a good relationship.  I am all for woman’s rights and equality, that does not for one minute mean if a guy gives me flowers or offers to give me a massage I’m going to refuse.  And like someone said before, if men didn’t do these things, women would complain just as much, if not more.

majicksand
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 09:54 am: [report]

@jsw:  I’m sorry you’re getting divorced (and that I inadvertently stuck my foot in my mouth).  Even if it’s your choice, it sucks.  You may certainly use me as a reference should the need arise.  I must admit though, I’m not entirely sure how you would.  Perhaps I’m a little slow this morning?

_jsw_
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 10:47 am: [report]

@majicksand: No worries. It’s amicable (so far) and still early on in the process. Yes, it sucks (it always does), but I’ve known of other couples/families for whom it’s sucked far more, both before and after the decision. And I was just joking about the “reference” thing. I am not entirely sure that having potential dates PM various members on a website to get their impressions of me based purely on my comments would really make much of a difference. And besides, all I need to do is contact the Wing Girls, and I’ll be fine, right?

Typewriter
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 02:51 pm: [report]

This seems a bit foolish to me. My boyfriend does most of these things anyway, and they’re in no way forced or false because he didn’t have to read them in a magazine and then think “Okay, this is a good opportunity for #16” or whatever. He’s just a really thoughtful, wonderful guy.
What really makes me swoon are things that I would never even dream up, stuff he comes up with on his own.
Once, just when we started seeing eachother, we were sitting on a bench downtown and he saw a woman across the street struggling to get a baby carriage down some stairs. Before I even knew what was happening, he had leapt over there to help her bring it down to the bottom easily without waking the baby inside. I definitely swooned!

DancingGeek
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 07:37 pm: [report]

I’m starting to think Men’s Health is the guy version of Cosmopolitan; Full of mostly silly tips(which should be taken with a grain of salt) thet illustrate one sex’s total lack of a clue about the opposite sex. I think the only thing to agree on is everyone is different and one person’s swoon is another person’s gag.

sportzriter13
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 08:09 pm: [report]

@dancingGeek-that sounds about right. Some of the things that are in the list would make me swoon (dancing). Some make me cringe: (standing naked on a chair?). However I think they missed one that all women would appreciate:
1.don’t just notice her beauty; admire and comment on things like her personality, or intelligence.

and as far as #21 (pick all her clothes up off the floor), depending on the woman, that could take a while. For some of us, if neatness was next to godliness, we’d be headed straight to hell. You can guess which category I’m in.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 16 2009 @ 08:10 pm: [report]

@dancinggeek: Yay! Finally someone has seen the light! I totally agree with you but was previously unable to boil the thought down to the level you have. I welcome the newly found idea and languish in that fact that it hasn’t happened before.

nutmeghan
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 09:31 pm: [report]

@riley: bwahaha

Kai29
wrote on August 29 2009 @ 07:17 pm: [report]

I like the list. Most of what’s on the list appeals to a woman’s vulnerability. In an age where men are wary of being chivalrous for fear of being offensive, it’s nice to let my guard down and allow myself be treated like a woman by a man.

kad
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 07:38 am: [report]

Damn funny.  Many hokey suggestions (for me).  I did the flowers thing for years.  Every Saturday.  The one time I forgot she was upset.  Looking past all the food still in bags, no simple $6 bouquet was there, poking its hopeful little flowers out…..  Saturday was our big dinner night - spend a few hours in the kitchen cooking together, eating, then, you know.

I think it is boorish to buy an expensive bouquet because of a ‘screwup’ and expect instant forgiveness.  In those cases a simple peace offering would be better, followed by a couple of hours of discussion so the man can hear and hopefully at least pretend to understand the nature and degree of the screwup.  All considered, it is the listening that men forget more than anything else.  The rest are just empty gestures otherwise.

As many people have pointed out, what works for romance depends on the individual, and the couple.  I don’t consider myself especially romantic or good at hitting all the right buttons when it comes to doing the little things, but apparently I am not bad at understanding a woman or listening to her so I know what she likes either.

16. Undress her and put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car.  ——Yeah, ok.  Should I wear my goalie mask while I do it?  Talk about creep central.

onewriter
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 12:13 pm: [report]

@kai29 yes.  it’s very nice to let yourself be treated well.  not all things are equal.  my man always holds the door open for me and I find that very sweet.

ootie grl
wrote on November 13 2009 @ 02:25 pm: [report]

That list is funny